guestimate posted:

I would think that now at work when a boss or coworker asks you to do something stupid or is an rear end in a top hat you can be like, "Ok, Dyatlov."🤨

Jose posted:

I still can't believe he was allowed to ruin a nuclear plant after getting all those hikers killed

Kazak posted:

Everyone fucks up at first, hence why he got a pass

Sulla Faex posted:

e: wrong thread

Sulla Faex posted:

oh then i must be in the right thread

Sulla Faex posted:

oh then i must be in the right thread

BaronVonVaderham posted:

Speaking of which, I could apparently go work for pornhub pretty easily, but I value my sanity.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

A Corporate culture with family values means something entirely different there.

Inspector_666 posted:

We're like a family here, a step-family!

Captain Log posted:

Weird European Talk - When I was in Germany in 2003, I was with my friend at her AbiBall graduation and poo poo. I was a big ole' liberal who was anti-Iraq, and all the German media had us portrayed as all red state war mongers. I got along well with the people my age. This is where the "Tennessee Jack" nickname came from. (Logan from a native German comes out LoegKhan.)

I had a really long conversation with a dude about politics and war as we got progressively drunker. After a while, he puts his arm around me and says, "Take a walk with me, Jack....I need to tell you about Hitler."

I very quickly went and strapped in for whatever the gently caress was about to happen. He then says, "Jack...you know, the tight, white underwear? The really tight old man white stuff? I have something to tell you that us Germans believe. The only Hitler we will ever know, is that underwear. It's like Hitler, but for your balls."

After that conversation, I've spent the rest of my life thinking of tight whitey underwear as Ball Hitlers.

I regret nothing.

frankenfreak posted:

wrong thread

kimbo305 posted:

Your gf was ok with staying at a place called The Moulin Rouge? Was Hon Hon Baguetterie all booked up?

tactlessbastard posted:

Happy_Misanthrope posted:

32 minutes...32 loving minutes

Cygni posted:

its cool how hes able to make a living just talking about presentation slides for 30 minutes. the thing isn't even out yet.

VelociBacon posted:

He knows his market, AMD owners have been used to slideshows for years.

Sagebrush posted:

Booooooooooo

Galaxander posted:

Hopefully the story will be insanely different from the original with no explanation.

Sephiroth: At last you come face to face with me, the president of Shinra!
Aeris: Th-that's Sephiroth! The King of Ghosts!
Cloud: *fires eye-beams*

Elentor posted:

VINCENT floats from his coffin, menacingly. His dark hair flows, but there is no wind.

Vincent: I am afraid I cannot go.
VINCENT throws his cape sideways to look cool.
Vincent: This... is my punishment. I am... tormented by the ghosts of my past.
Aeristh: Bitch, I see literal ghosts from the past. Touch my arm, I dare you. Here, see this poo poo.

AERISTH grabs VINCENT by the pulse, VINCENT is surrounded by smokey ghosts, one of them is LUCRECIA.

Lucrecia: Can you guys believe this idiot plays videogames all day long and whenever he hears steps he runs back to this coffin to pretend to be a guilt-tripping vampire? Seriously, check it the next room, he's been playing a Submarine game all day.
Vincent: No, please I -
Lucrecia: This clown hasn't changed his clothes in years and is living in a rent-free basement and sometimes he loudly complains about why I picked up Hojo, can you believe this?
Vincent: Enough, I will go with you, just, just make it stop.

a kitten posted:

It's no Death Talks About Life

Dillbag posted:

It's because no one that reads animes is ever going to get an S.T.D., which I guess is why I have the herpes

wilderthanmild posted:

I'm terrified of heights so that would probably have still killed me via heart attack.

Cojawfee posted:

Are you a horse?

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

"hey we're really high up here, the people down there look tiny! Like ant...."

Outrail posted:

Freckles has provided me with a disproportionate amount of humour over the years(?). He/she needs a small statue or something

Imperador do Brasil posted:

Anecdotally, when we had the huge flood in ‘05, my friend Steve and his then-girlfriend Nat were coming from Allentown to visit. Important to the story: Steve is black and Nat isn’t. Their car got swept into a ditch by the water a half mile from my very very rural house and they had to crawl out of the sunroof to go get help (they didn’t realize how close they were to my house). First house they went to gladly let them in to use the phone, super nice people, etc. but hanging on the wall was a huge Stars ‘n Bars. Steve said it felt super weird and ominous despite how nice the people were.

NatasDog posted:

Yeah, I'm in the Harrisburg area and a half hour in any direction can land you straight into Deliverance.

I went hiking with a black friend up in Rickett's Glen a few years back with our families, and coming down from the forks after they converge there was a pair of guys with their kids playing in the creek, both of them covered in white power tats; Swastikas, Iron Crosses, you name it. It was pretty surreal, and the only time I've ever felt like I may be in some sort of danger on a hiking trail. They were staring at us as we walked past and I looked over to see what their reaction was, and one of them just kind of gave me the old head nod as if to say we were cool, so we just powered past them and finished the hike.

We were able to joke about it later, "That's crazy, it's like we just saw a Nazi in its natural habitat!"; but I was legit worried for a minute there. At the point we saw them we were a good 3 miles of rugged trail from any kind of civilization and there's really no easy way for emergency services to access it, seeing as it's completely wooded and the trails leading down from the waterfalls are all steps carved/shaped out of nearby slate.

Croatoan posted:

Living in Georgia I have encountered a few and it's gross. First time I was working in a big box store copy department and on my first day as a manager I walked in and two really sickly goth people where at the counter getting help from this little old lady that also worked there. I looked at what they were copying and it was hand drawn portraits of their favorite SS members. It was literally my first day as I got transferred there as a manager and had no idea what to do so I stood gobsmacked as they finished and left.

Brawnfire posted:

It's super weird to just come across them. I was at a Barnes & Noble years ago, and saw a child of four-ish go up to an alt-history book with a swastika on it and point. Skinny, shaved head dad with prominent iron cross neck tattoo says " aw, no, buddy we don't want that book; they don't have good things to say about the Fuhrer." Then he catches my eye and I just sort of Homer Simpson into the bushes back to my teenage sci-fi section haven. It was pretty much my first actual confirmation that Nazis were still very real.

GelatinSkeleton posted:

I've seen a guy around town a couple of times who has "RACIST" tattooed prominently on his forehead.

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

No, he's right. As a gay dude I can confirm that all gay men just sit around all day screaming "yass queen" and being snotty to waitresses at bottomless mimosa brunches.

It's literally nothing else. I'm so tired. I've been at this restaurant for 27 years. Why won't the manager cut us off?

Outrail posted:

Freckles has provided me with a disproportionate amount of humour over the years(?). He/she needs a small statue or something

MOVIE MAJICK posted:

Still hard to believe the raptors are nba champions, and soon to be pelicans

Lobok posted:

It takes many millions of years before raptors become pelicans.

zoux posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/learningtosubm1/status/1140250191389483008

Push El Burrito posted:

"I'm owned, I'm owned" I insist as I slowly grow and transform into a mother.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

A tweet to surpass even the worst cummiespost.

Outrail posted:

Fulfilling the bare minimum requirment for the propagation of the species seems like an odd fetish.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Mommy Gear?!

christmas boots posted:

Mother Dear

Fatty Crabcakes posted:

Over the years I've grown used to not having pockets except in jackets and such. I also prefer having a purse. I can carry more things, it's hard to whap someone in the face with a pocket, I'm not going to accidentally wash my purse and, most importantly, I get sexually aroused by saying "Wait, wait! I know it's in here somewhere!"

Trabisnikof posted:

Stymie posted:

chewie got sober, cleaned himself up and got a desk job after han died

value-brand cereal posted:

Forgive me for quoting stymie.

Sapozhnik posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/41Strange/status/1140423535485079553

Clockwork Sputnik posted:

press secretariat

Uptime Sinclair posted:

never

LanceHunter posted:

The actual picture of him during the shooting is equally embarrassing.

https://twitter.com/dallasnews/status/1140656385899814912?s=21

Civilized Fishbot posted:

the photographer, who had 0 preparation, foreknowledge, or protection, who was presumably crying and pissing throughout the entire ordeal, got off more successful shots than the actual gunman

Uptime Sinclair posted:

never

Fallen Hamprince posted:

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Goddamn, the dallas shooter was so much of an incel he couldn't even penetrate the building.

whoda thunkit posted:

Ribeye is one of the most fatty (and therefore delicious) cuts and a lot of that will be trimmed away by the cook or the patron. And don't be afraid to pick up that bone and gnaw on it like a loving animal. It makes me sad as a server when i throw away a bone that's untouched.

Turpitude II posted:

bet thats not the only untouched bone that makes you sad lol

MaliciousOnion posted:

http://glench.com/tmnt

Brawnfire posted:

Sagebrush posted:

Brawnfire posted:

Dewgy posted:

Man bursts through doors into hallway
Nurse at desk points over that way
Doctor delivers some bad news
LILAH'S JUST MISCARRIED!
LOSS DOT JPEG!