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...and that's how I got chlamydia, I wasn't fooling around with anyone else I swear! Yep, vagina infected laptop did it, really!
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Aug 14, 2013 15:33
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Sab669 posted:Where the hell do you pay more than $3 for a beer Your store prices aren't off, but bars and restaurants in cities only do $2 for BMC beers on special.
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Aug 21, 2013 21:10
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Khisanth Magus posted:Today I get an email from my boss, that I will paraphrase as: "It has come to my attention that over the past couple weeks you have been assigned nearly 30 logs that are supposed to be finished with all testing by the end of this week, and yet you have still been working just 40 hours a week. You should have been working (unpaid) overtime to get these done." Were you communicating with him what was going on? His response would be really reasonable if he figured all the bugs were from code you were working on the entire time.
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Aug 22, 2013 16:19
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It's the day of the next production release of the software and so you finally decide to test your changes in UAT. They're not what you expected even though they're to spec? Tough poo poo, should have raised that issue 3 weeks ago when I could have done something about it.
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Aug 26, 2013 15:20
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GreenNight posted:A vender just came in to the front desk, and the front desk lady called saying there is brats and corn for me. Cooked. It would be a heck of a lot more weird if they brought them uncooked.
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Sep 11, 2013 19:07
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nitrogen posted:While i'm not seriously considering taking the guy up on it, I'm thinking of things to ask for that I probably wouldn't get in order to make the move back over, but also dont want to sound like an rear end in a top hat either. I'm thinking of asking for things like: Customized ergonomic workstation (think $2k desk and $1k chair) Percent of gross on client contract
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Sep 15, 2013 23:22
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Agrikk posted:What. The. gently caress. Perhaps you had an odor? Just saying 
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Sep 20, 2013 21:51
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Jeoh posted:I'd just like to remind people of the HP Engineer loving around with a metal screwdriver in a CPU slot to remove the thermal paste. Yep, he broke it (more). I did that with a temperature probe on a hard drive array. Turns out you don't want to touch the exposed circuit board of the drive above the one you're temping, who knew!
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Oct 4, 2013 22:58
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Cryptolocker is basically Reamde from the book of the same name by Neil Stephenson. Straight out of science fiction.
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Oct 24, 2013 03:06
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GreenNight posted:So you have to go into an MMO to find the key? No, but you still want to be really careful about getting the virus when you have the files of Russian mobsters on your PC.
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Oct 24, 2013 03:11
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blackswordca posted:So an email argument came in: "Hi boss, just wanted to forward you this in case there are any questions as to why this wasn't done."
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Dec 30, 2013 20:26
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Volmarias posted:I set my internal profile picture to grumpycat, but I'm just not feeling it. My job is just too good now, I don't understand how to handle not having contempt and distaste for my fellow man in my heart all the time. Going to a really good job from a really crappy one is like when you haven't had sex for a long time and then you get laid and you just walk around with a stupid grin on your face.
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Jan 17, 2014 04:06
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Paladine_PSoT posted:Recruiter asked for references, I provided two email addresses. She called back today asking for phone numbers and my resume in .docx. Grudgingly gave the resume in docx after getting written confirmation that they would not be editing it in any way, but did not give phone numbers because I wanted to "respect the wishes of my contacts". No, no, no. Recruiters don't get your resume in any format other than PDF, and they most certainly don't get your references up front in any form. No one gets my references until after in-person interviews, and only then if they say they want to proceed but they want to check with my references first.
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Jan 22, 2014 20:50
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skipdogg posted:System Engineer then goes, Senior, Lead, Staff, Senior Staff, Principal etc. It feels like Army ranks or something. We have Software Engineer, Senior, Lead, and Principal. Base/Senior is actual software engineering, and then Lead/Principal is architectural/client meetings all day long.
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Jan 31, 2014 20:31
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GreenNight posted:If they have a docking station they don't need two power adapters. The idea is there are three locations: Docking station Meeting room at work At home A four hour meeting would easily kill my laptop without the cord.
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Feb 18, 2014 19:19
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Dick Trauma posted:As for jettisoning this job... after I left my I.T. Director position when I had my post-cancer meltdown it took me seven years to get back to that salary, and this was the job that did it. I'm very concerned that this was a fluke and it's all downhill from here. That's why I'm loathe to just throw my hands in the air. Yes I know that with this sort of management I'm on the thinnest of ice, but if these idiots get distracted by something else it might be another three years before they even notice again that I'm there. This is going to sound harsh, but maybe you just need to have the patience and savings to support taking longer to look for a new job? Unless you're expecting something fairly extravagant like $200k plus bonus for a director level position, talk to those recruiters that are always calling and tell them you want something for at least $120k base plus benefits and you'll get it no problem if you stick to your guns. If you're complaining about $120k, deal with it.
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May 8, 2014 02:42
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spankmeister posted:Idk scaling makes it blurry. How does taking one pixel and making it 4 make anything blurry over the same pixel density?
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May 14, 2014 22:48
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Whenever drug tests come up, I have a very simple rule: I will play along, but for a price. I have two pricing tiers: "Unlimited" and "Per-test". I will allow unlimited drug tests of any manner to be done for $20,000 a year. I can also simply submit to a single drug test of the employers choice for $10,000 per test. Of course, all time is billable, or should I be on salary, shall be comped across the board as PTO. Expenses such as travel are to be covered. If, however, the employer would like to trust me to do a good job, this is free.
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May 17, 2014 04:24
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Not to keep up the password chat, but this is pretty loving simple. You combine the old and new approaches: "uber cool password P34n^@A"
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May 21, 2014 00:27
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Billy the Mountain posted:Some sort of forums database issue came in... This is affecting production! That's what you get when you use MS Access though.
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Jun 26, 2014 02:06
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The Electronaut posted:My favorite a couple years ago straight out asked me to lie on my resume. Guy Axlerod posted:At least they asked. I had one just "edit" my resume and send it on to a hiring manager.
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Jul 6, 2014 17:22
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Sickening posted:I want to be surprised but his attitude is basically a clone of every software engineer I have ever worked with. As a software engineer, not having local admin rights means I quit. In return, if I have to go to IT for any reason other than to get licenses or hardware, you may fire me.
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Jul 18, 2014 17:39
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evol262 posted:Real talk: developers almost never need local admin. It may make your job easier, but there's a big middle ground where having some rights but not others is just as good as having local admin without putting you totally outside the policies that control the rest of the environment, unless you're literally developing drivers or something else which needs Ring 0. That's true, and I understand there's a corporate liability type issue thing going on, but I like to live on the edge and having the ability to delete my virus scanner and live backup software is a thrill.
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Jul 18, 2014 17:47
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Thanks Ants posted:What does he do when his home broadband router detects a ping? Call his ISP and demand they do something about the hacker on their network.
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Jul 22, 2014 15:54
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Zenith is apparently an incredibly lovely place to work: http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Zenith-Infotech-Reviews-E221001.htm
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Aug 19, 2014 23:10
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nitrogen posted:Are you actually managing managers, and are yoy the direct report of a VP? Unless you're in finance, in which case you might go from Associate Director, to Director, to Executive Director, to Managing Director.
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Aug 28, 2014 22:46
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guppy posted:One of the worst jobs I ever had was in a call center, but they had an amazing policy that I wish every workplace had: You weren't allowed to blame anyone else, for any fuckups, ever. You didn't have to accept blame yourself, but you absolutely could not point the finger at anyone, under threat of immediate termination. It sounds silly but it both immediately removes many opportunities for bad blood and also stops the blame game in its tracks, forcing you to focus on dealing with the issue instead. Wait a second, so if you're a complete fuckup no one will ever be able to blame you? Is that what I'm hearing?
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Oct 8, 2014 22:12
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flosofl posted:That's what the DnD status is for. It's basically a big gently caress off to anyone who wants to IM me.(I *think* users are prompted with a "are you *sure* you want to bug him? He does have DnD on...") If so, there must be some sort of setting option. When I message some dipshit with DnD set, it tells me I can't. It's fine if the recipient wants to ignore me, but don't refuse to put my message though lync!
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Oct 25, 2014 01:26
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GI_Clutch posted:One of our customers does first five characters of the last name, first initial for their accounts. Poor Elaine Dickman. She's pleaded with the IT staff, but they refuse to change her ID unless her name legally changes. It's all fun and games until she realizes she's one sexual harassment lawsuit away from revenge.
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Jan 16, 2015 09:11
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Am I late for snow chat?
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Feb 18, 2015 19:52
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Renegret posted:Yeah, that's the one!  http://lmgtfy.com/?q=doggie+style+porn+with+two+people&l=1 I really don't want to know why that's the first result.
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Mar 8, 2015 20:54
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blackswordca posted:so an email came in. Ask to see their RFQ documentation and you'll put in a quote for each job.
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Apr 13, 2015 20:05
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Haquer posted:Or employed for that matter. It's a pretty ballsy power play. If the supervisor flips out, he's now got some potential backers who will go to bat for him in self-interest.
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Apr 17, 2015 16:14
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Our newly deployed application hasn't had any issues for a solid month, and therefore has 100% uptime? Time to tell clients that we have over 6 nines 
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Jun 6, 2015 06:48
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Ghostlight posted:After doing some digging it turns out that one of his guys has "spent" the last "two-three weeks" "working from home" putting "80 hours of work" into a report that is due on Monday, but Word is saying it is corrupted. *Quotes added* Oh, I remember doing that almost two decades ago. One little hex edit and the whole "file" is corrupted. Darn you, IT! Clearly, I created a superior work product only to have it lost to the vagaries of chance!
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Jun 9, 2015 06:35
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Daylen Drazzi posted:lovely recruiters are ALWAYS going "give me a number that will allay all your fears", but they don't actually WANT that number because most of the time it puts them out of the running. This is actually how I deal with recruiters. Short small talk session, then let them know that I won't be able to look at anything under $X. That has so far stopped the conversation every time, since $X is only just barely within the universe of salaries for the positions I'm in (software engineer/engineering manager). One time it didn't stop the conversation and I had a new job a month later. One recruiter thought I'd be a great fit for a contract position with the "possibility of benefits". I told him that it sounded great, as long as I was 1099'd at $200/hr with all transportation to client and meals for those days expensed to the client.
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Jul 3, 2015 22:45
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Malachite_Dragon posted:We're rooting for you http://www.medicaljane.com/2013/02/05/an-introduction-to-marijuana-edibles-why-ingesting-cannabis-just-makes-sense/
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Aug 2, 2015 17:25
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also, what the hell is weed eating?
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BaseballPCHiker posted:If you have a kid you can always pull the sick kid at home thing. I've had coworkers in the past whose kids must have had canceraids for all the sporadic time they took off. Some kids do seem to get canceraids every time someone looks at them funny.
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Aug 3, 2015 21:53
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For all you $30k salary talk people, back in the late 90's in my first job I literally worked off an operations checklist and just escalated issues that I couldn't resolve after minimal effort debugging/fixes. Salary was $38k then, and http://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=38000&year1=1997&year2=2015 tells me this is equivalent to $56.5k. This was in Chicago, where I had a nice studio to myself in the safe north side for $450/mo. gently caress, I know data entry clerks who make $40k today. With the $15 minimum wage thing going on out west, I suppose there are MCDONALDS FRY COOKS who make over $30k a year. Tech workers making $30k or less may literally be getting paid less than the literal janitors where they work.
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Sep 10, 2015 23:25
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Someone's having a fun Friday night:
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Sep 12, 2015 06:58
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