Cursed Lumberjack posted:

If only he hadn't drowned in seconds because that's totally how drowning works.

If air flow to the lungs is cut off you die immediately, no amount of CPR will help. True fact.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I was all set to say that nobody who is nasty to customers lasts long in retail but I had a coworker with a nasty streak a mile wide who was there for years before she quit in a huff over being spoken to by the store manager for doing a lovely half-assed job on a task she was asked to do. Of course, she never actually verbally abused a customer that I saw, but she blew up at several coworkers and snapped at customers on multiple occasions. With my current manager she'd have been chewed out so loving hard I kind of wish we'd had him back then.

But I digress. I would think if you owned the store you wouldn't put up with somebody bitching out your friend and wouldn't need to call a manager over to fire them. Just be all "yo, I own this company and we do not tolerate employees who treat our guests with such open hostility, so get your poo poo and get out" and just explain it to the manager later. If she's that awful the manager's probably been itching to find a reason to get rid of her anyway.

sweeperbravo posted:

That's another reason.

The "bottle cap as weapon" is definitely a thing though, at least it used to be early 00's, there've been a few places I went to that had that as a policy. Mostly school related events.

Khazar-khum posted:

Cd or not CD

Captain Bravo posted:

Also a lot of places that still sell CDs tell their cashiers to say that. It's so people won't buy a CD, run home and rip it, and then bring it back. It's retarded, because anyone that just wants some free music has a billion options for getting it other than "Rip off -your store here-" Hastings, in particular, is super-anal about that poo poo. One store I used to go to stopped taking returns even if they sold a hosed-up CD, they'd just spout that crap about CD returns not being allowed.

Elysiume posted:

Do any hotels actually have that policy? That seems really stupid. Unless they mean at affiliated hotels, but a hotel across the street is more likely to be a competitor.

sweeperbravo posted:

So it would work great as a "prank" on someone who has a severe social anxiety, but basically nobody else.

EZipperelli posted:

Wasn't this guy like, an amazingly huge shitbag IRL? I've heard he was a dick, pulling guns on people at gas stations, starting fights in bars and acting like he was God's gift to the US military. Also, that his actual confirmed kill number may be significantly lower than he claims?

Zaphod42 posted:

Also on the list of longest sniper kills, Kyle is only 8th. Still long distance, but Canadian and UK snipers have him beat. I wonder how they compare for "confirmed kills" (whatever that means).

razorrozar posted:

Why is it so hard for people to respect other people's choices, for Chrissakes?

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Maybe it's just because I'm from the midwest, but I've met far more obnoxious anti-vegans than obnoxious vegans.

"Hey try this burger, it's so good"
"Nah sorry dude I'm vegan"
"OH MY GOD WHY DO VEGANS NEVER SHUT UP. HEY HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE IS VEGAN? DON'T WORRY THEY'LL TELL YOU!!"

Omnishambles posted:

I'm lame and have no scars.

Edit: Mentally, I'm hosed, though. Does that count for anything?

ADHDan posted:

I read the entire saga, including his account of the litigation proceedings, and as a lawyer I have to say it all sounds pretty accurate. People with no knowledge of law or procedure routinely outshine attorneys, judges dispose of cases at "preliminary hearings" without bothering to wait for a party to actually move for dismissal or judgment, "gotcha" moments happen all the time at the last minute, and cases get dismissed for "vindictiveness." Also, rules for admission of evidence don't exist.

Khazar-khum posted:

Because he's never even heard of the concept of a bloody nose, nor ever seen one in the years he has inhabited our planet.

Fathis Munk posted:

Getaway car ? You'd think he robbed a bank, not a lovely rental store.

KiddieGrinder posted:

Yay for meaningless patronizing gestures of goodwill! I know my self-esteem and happiness would increase if I saw some maniac driving by smiling and waving at me. My crippling depression and self loathing would virtually vanish in an instant because some random jerk-off who doesn't know anything about me waved at me.

I wouldn't think he was insane, or being sarcastic and making fun of me, or just really weird, or even waving to someone else I didn't notice! Nope, not at all! Thanks driving-around-wavy-guy!

Loopyface posted:

Those aren't laws, they're suggestions from an organization that has no real power to enforce them.

ibntumart posted:

Avenging Mikon is *way* overreaching, but that said, the MPAA does wield indirect economic power. A movie that doesn't go through their rating process is often going to have a hard time finding mainstream distribution in US movie theatres because theatres are reluctant to show unrated movies. So they do have some control over what filmmakers create, or at least, can present to the general viewing public.

But that has zip to do with what DVDs Walmart allows a teenager to buy. That comes down to store policy. And filmmakers can still flout the MPAA's rating scheme and do all right with their NR films anyway.

Content:

Marley Wants More posted:

So, he has no filter because he's senile and the woman is abusing him? Nice.

Not to mention the kid sounds relieved that it's not him who's getting beaten up today.

OptimusShr posted:

Except I am in the US and no stores actually do that, Swipe, enter PIN/sign an get you r receipt. The cashier does not need to handle your card id everything goes right.

Khazar-khum posted:

Yeah, I really believe a sub gave a poo poo.

Khazar-khum posted:

You better watch out!

Paladinus posted:

My parents also bought me video games at game stores when I was in my early twenties.

Stahlgeist posted:

Possible stupid question here, but is it at all normal for an attic to be directly next to a bathroom as opposed to above it? I've never lived anywhere that has an attic anywhere but above the accessible rooms in the house.

Also, no way a 6-year old could fit in that tiny pipe access, let alone get through the pipes.

Murphy Brownback posted:

e: also they claim they aren't going to make the "horror movie mistakes", but shotguns don't do poo poo to "ghosts" (unless we're assuming Supernatural is a documentary and the shotgun is full of rock salt shells). Headlamps don't do anything either.

ibntumart posted:

You mean this one?

Byzantine posted:

Identical twins dating identical twins sounds like everybody's just waiting for that to happen.

reformed bad troll posted:

sweeperbravo posted:

And doesn't know "mistake," but knows "beefsteak."

Crow Jane posted:

I think I've cried exactly once in the past six months, and it was at a sad part on a TV show in the comfort of my own home. Do people really burst into tears that easily, or am I a robot?

And would Uber really hire a deaf driver? Much less one prone to crying jags?

ElGroucho posted:

Like those super fake ones with the 3 inch gap between them

Like two eternal strangers

Verisimilidude posted:

Arizona Watermelon iced tea.

Stuntman posted:

They got a watermelon drink, but it's not tea.

The White Dragon posted:

Mac does have some (hideously overpriced) middle-tier hardware that'll run most modern games in its lineup, but the iMac is not one of these products.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Stabbing some people 666 times sounds like a heck of a lot of work unless you were doing pissy little papercut jabs.

Thin Privilege posted:

Maybe they stabbed them six times, took a pause, stabbed 6 times again, then another pause, and then 6 more times. That's 6-6-6.

Pththya-lyi posted:

That's what I was thinking, too. "Please, sir, don't give me your money!"

ElGroucho posted:

nobody on this forums has genitals

Panfilo posted:

I feel like there is a consistent pattern with the STDH type stories. Either the narrator is way more brave or bold than he likely would be, is incredibly sarcastic and/or witty, everything gets exaggerated tenfold, etc. Did I miss anything?

Sentient Data posted:

This dumb ancient female idiot was so stupid she couldn't find the Wi-Fi switch!

_{neither could I do we had to call her kid}

Khazar-khum posted:

What's the punchline?

Samizdata posted:

Nope. Living with your RealDoll collection is not alone.

Or is it?