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pentyne posted:Modelland podcast stuff You know what, I'm going to choose to believe that these aren't quotes from the podcast but are instead actual quotes from the book.
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Jul 5, 2015 15:05
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Sleeveless posted:Don't make fun of renowned Dan Brown is such a That is a pro-loving-click right there. I've never read any of Dan Brown's work, and that editorial makes me so glad I never have. BattyKiara posted:Have romance novels been mentioned yet? I found one in a leave a book/take a book tray that had a master fencer as the protagonst. He had "skin as pale as a the moon, and silver hair to match" and was master fencer even if he was blind. Bcause his super hearing and experience blah-blah-blah. Also a woman with "the kind of coneshaped breast that made seamstresses sigh with delight" and and evil bald man. My first thought was it was about a guy who excelled at building fences. That'd probably be a better book.
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Jul 12, 2015 12:10
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takedown of his terrible writing that it almost retroactively justifies his entire career.
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John Big Booty posted:Yep. It's Heinlein's second meandering novel about travelling back in time to have sex with a parent. Ah, Heinlein. The only book of his I ever attempted was Stranger In A Strange Land. The setup was interesting and I actually hung with it until. Until. There's a scene where he's having sex with... whoever, and in the throes of passion she cries out, "Thou art God!" Aaaaannnd that's where I gave up in disgust. According to a friend of mine who read the whole thing, I picked a good place to stop.
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Aug 10, 2015 03:52
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Inspector Gesicht posted:I love Strange and Norrell as it's the book that got me back to reading, but it's fair to say the 200 page prologue is a bit of a turn-off. BravestOfTheLamps posted:But seriously, I can see why the length can be a turn-off. What annoyed me was the anti-climactic last 100 pages. Okay, so if I just read the part between those 300 pages, I should be good, right?
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Nov 2, 2015 22:47
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JollityFarm posted:Eighteen pages and no mention of Twisted? The most breathlessly, gloriously, sincerely enthusiastic werewolf-vampire-roller coaster love story you'll ever read? Guess what! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3535471 If you haven't read that thread, I highly suggest you do.
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Nov 14, 2015 04:34
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Postal Parcel posted:On the other hand, Chuck Tingle is a great author who should be read by all Every time I see his covers, I wonder what stock website he pulled them from, and what those models would say if they discovered these.
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Nov 24, 2015 00:24
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Darthemed posted:Mythology 101, by Jody Lynn Nye. After reading those excerpts, I found myself wondering who the hell her target audience was. It reads like a book for 6th-graders. Was she hoping to ride the Harry Potter gravy train?
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Jun 9, 2016 00:23
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Sham bam bamina! posted:I don't think that's fair to say; they still definitely look like children's books. They just look like much more interesting children's books. The British artwork for the first two is literally "Harry is looking at a train" and "Harry is sitting in a car" - it's hard to blame Scholastic for wanting to dress them up better. The most German-looking Harry Potter ever. What I find more interesting is that they used her full first name on the German cover rather than just her initials. Apparently Germans don't have the same hangups about books being written by women as other countries do?
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Jul 10, 2016 00:46
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Carbon Thief posted:"At sixteen, Melissa Austin has always worked hard to make things go her way. As the school year begins, her grades are up and she's even landed a coveted spot on the high school Brain Bowl team. She and her best friend, Jory Delaney, are determined to have the best junior year ever. But suddenly Melissa receives devastating news about her health. At first she refuses to accept the doctor's diagnosis, but as her illness gets worse she cannot deny the truth. The caring and closeness Melissa feels toward her family and especially toward Jory help her find the inner strength and courage to face the mysteries of living and dying. Is it fair that there's only a chance for one of them to survive?" Wait, what? There's nothing else in that synopsis to suggest that anyone other than Melissa has a terrible disease. The name "Lurlene McDaniel" sounded familiar so I went to her site and as it turns out, I read one of her books as a kid. I had no idea it was the first in a series. Fleta Mcgurn posted:The Sunfire books were historical romances aimed at preteens, in case you're not familiar. The heroine would have to choose between two guys: one rich and safe, and one dangerous and not rich. She usually chose the dangerous guy. There would occasionally be kissing, and the girl would save the day in a historically significant way. I think my favorites were Sabrina ("ugly duckling" [read: brunette] in the Revolutionary War) and Renee (plucky girl reporter almost dies in a blizzard, but doesn't!). A few were penned by legit YA authors, like Willo David Roberts. Thanks for posting about these! I read this one at around the same time as I read the Lurlene McDaniel. I never thought I'd see it again. I think I graduated to Stephen King and V.C. Andrews not long after.
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May 21, 2017 20:47
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I knew a guy who read the first Left Behind when it came out, and he thought it was hilarious. His takeaway was that the authors were actually making fun of the ultra-religious fundies that the series is actually aimed at. I've never read any of them, so I don't know, but is it really possible to read those books and misinterpret them as badly as it seems like he did?
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May 25, 2017 21:53
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I haven't read it, but Morrissey wrote a novel. It has a sex scene in it:
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Aug 1, 2017 01:06
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Antivehicular posted:This reads like the kind of sex scene you get in teenagers' attempts at erotica, where they don't really know what sex entails and are just trying to fake it, and not well. All it needs is something actively impossible (e.g. penetrating the clitoris) once the author realizes they have to describe a detailed sex act. My favorite line in that passage is about how "Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth." It's just so ineptly descriptive.
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Aug 1, 2017 01:26
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Inescapable Duck posted:Just as well it has 'A Novel' labelled on it, I keep thinking that looks like a 80s/90s game cover. Well, no wonder: there's a VHS sticker in the bottom left corner. So maybe more like videotape. Man, now I'm getting nostalgic for the little mom-and-pop video rental place we used to go to when I was a kid.
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Aug 5, 2017 16:45
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Spc. Jones knows what's up. 
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Aug 18, 2017 14:32
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Drunken Baker posted:As an aside from Shartball (Iol) I've been catching up with the "I don't even own a television" podcast, picking through some classique episodes. Listening to the "Night of the Crabs" one, which was wonderful, but the lads there were saying how Guy Smith was "writing like a movie" or something to that extent. Like they could see the scene as if it were a movie. Is that such a bad thing? I've yet to read any of the Crabs books, does Guy just go into way too much detail or something? I read every book and picture it like a movie to be fair. Well, there's being able to visualize the action in a book as you read it (which is a good thing, because it means the author has successfully engaged you in the action), and there's being able to tell that the author was mentally checking off a list of "cool movie scenes/plot points" and giving himself a high-five every time he included one in his book. I read a book like that once, and it was dreadful: Amusement Park, which I may have mentioned waaaaay back at the beginning of the thread. It was originally published in 1980, which means the author was probably writing it around the time that 70's disaster movies were a big thing. The whole time I was reading, it was like I could imagine him thinking who he would cast for each role in the inevitable movie that was sure to be made from his Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius. It was a bad, bad book, I guess is what I'm saying.
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Aug 23, 2017 01:22
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I tend to avoid books with the word "-mancer" in the title, as it's usually an indicator that the book will be horrid. Except for Neuromancer, of course. Neuromancer is awesome.
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Aug 23, 2017 15:02
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Goddamn Particle posted:Not sure if this belongs here on in the Schadenfreude thread, but the book is definitely terrible, so... Got ya covered, mate. It went down pretty well over there. I am completely fascinated by the whole thing.
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Aug 25, 2017 12:50
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This rabbit hole keeps getting deeper. From the schadenfreude thread:Phanatic posted:Looks like the cover art was ripped off, too: And an EW article, which includes someone positing the theory that Lani Seram is the author behind "My Immortal." Edit: https://twitter.com/runwithskizzers/status/900810136104697861 Zamboni Rodeo has a new favorite as of 16:26 on Aug 25, 2017 |
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Aug 25, 2017 16:23
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chitoryu12 posted:Is the book itself crap? I haven't seen any excerpts. Yup. Click through this tweet. There's a whole thread.
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Aug 25, 2017 16:54
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chitoryu12 posted:I bought what may be the first legitimate copy of Handbook for Mortals and I'm going to start a Let's Read thread in the Book Barn for it. Please link it here when you do -- I am mesmerized by this trainwreck. Would love to follow the thread.
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Aug 25, 2017 17:56
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Awesome! Bookmarked. And may whatever higher power you believe in be with you on this journey. I have a feeling it's going to be ugly.
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Aug 25, 2017 19:29
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This might be an okay (children's) book, but I will never bother to find out, just based on the title alone. Captain Underpants did more harm than we'll ever know. 
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Aug 30, 2017 01:41
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Sep 8, 2017 21:29
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taiyoko posted:One I pulled for an order tonight at work, and I thought the blurb was so bad it belonged here: The Selection. I'm getting a serious Modelland vibe from that description.
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Sep 20, 2017 12:48
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that main character's name.
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Tiggum posted:When you sneer at Twilight or The Da Vinci Code or "genre fiction" you are using literary criticism as a proxy for looking down on lower class people. To be fair, there are a million better reasons to sneer at Twilight or The Da Vinci Code that have nothing to do with a person's social status. EmmyOk posted:I like a bunch of terrible media sometimes because it's so bad it's good and other times because I genuinely enjoy it despite its flaws and trashiness. Pretty much this. I think books and other media are capable of crossing all socioeconomic levels. Sometimes you just want to turn your brain off and read/watch something ridiculously horrible just for the train wreck element; how else would you explain the popularity of things like 50 Shades of Grey and reality television?
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Oct 12, 2017 15:04
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Rangpur posted:They are popular because lots of people think they are good. Fair point. On second read, that phrase about people enjoying the trainwreck aspect of things really didn't fit with the larger point I was trying to make, which is that it is in fact possible for people of all socioeconomic backgrounds to enjoy the same things, albeit not necessarily for the same reasons.
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Oct 12, 2017 15:48
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Tagra posted:I loaded this book because it's sci-fi, and has a female protagonist who is also a military space pilot. It was intriguing and looked like it would be right up my alley. If you've not read it yet, do yourself a HUGE favor and read the Ancillary trilogy by Ann Leckie. It's brilliant.
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Oct 23, 2017 03:38
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PYF terrible book: the main character started foot-loving his business partner's sister and now I guess I have nothing to read on the way home today.
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Nov 18, 2017 15:20
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Rough Lobster posted:It's funny how Harry Potter/Twilight are these ur-series that have in turn inspired so much fan fiction that some of that fan fiction has become multi-million-dollar franchises as well. Honestly I find it loving depressing. There are legit, undiscovered good authors out there who are killing themselves just to get published, but hacks like EL James can write their terrible bullshit fanfiction and make zillions from it.
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Dec 17, 2017 03:27
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Sham bam bamina! posted:This isn't the IDEOTV thread, but I sent in a Joan Collins request. I haven't yet had a chance to hear the Jackie Collins episode. Wait, wait, there's an IDEOTV thread? Would you be so kind as to point me in that direction?
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Dec 27, 2017 17:47
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Much obliged. Thank you! 
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Dec 27, 2017 23:13
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Sagebrush posted:no women anywhere in that list of authors, i notice ha, you silly. everyone knows women don't write books. 
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Feb 14, 2018 14:17
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Whenever I read a particularly bad sex scene in a book, the first thing that happens is I'm amazed that the author thought that whatever they were writing was erotic enough to be included. Then I realize: "Holy poo poo, I'm reading someone's kink right here on the page." This guy could go on to write some of the most hauntingly beautiful prose that will be studied by literature scholars for centuries to come, but to me he'll always be the dude who wants to lick brie off a lactating woman's nipple and who thinks that a woman's rear end in a top hat smells like tobacco and tastes like bitter chocolate.
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May 5, 2018 03:08
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This feels like it belongs here. Do yourself a favor and click through to the thread itself. https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/1088958995677638656
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Jan 26, 2019 03:57
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chitoryu12 posted:So I think I've got my plans decided. Once I finish Eclipse, I want to do two threads. The first will be for the Phineas Poe novels because they seem unusually popular for stuff with such horrendous writing, but I also want to do one on William Control. Oh, please tell me you've got Jay Bonansinga's Lucid somewhere in your queue. I've been waiting for that one.
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Jan 18, 2020 03:23
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CommissarMega posted:Well, what do YOU do to get rid of an unwanted erection, huh? If you’re the GOP, usually by tossing the results and letting the Supreme Court decide.
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Jan 18, 2020 05:37
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I have a copy of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo that I started but never finished. What I can say is that it was the perfect thickness to prop up a wobbly step stool leg when I was hanging a photo last night (yup, could have become my own entry in the OSHA thread). +1, would use to prop up wobbly step stool or other furniture legs again.
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Jan 22, 2020 19:26
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Elviscat posted:What else should I be looking at? thepopmonster posted:K. B. Spangler's Stoneskin Haven’t read Stoneskin but I’m seconding Spangler for her Rachel Peng series. It’s clear she’s done massive research for these books, and she writes in such an immersive way that you could believe that a top-secret government agency of cybernetically-enhanced humans actually exists in the here and now. Zamboni Rodeo has a new favorite as of 16:24 on Feb 28, 2020 |
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Feb 28, 2020 16:21
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RoboRodent posted:Does this count: As an aside, OH NO, MY VULVA would be a pretty kickass username.
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Jan 26, 2021 06:16
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