Better Fred Than Dead posted:

$13k on a wedding dress is loving mental. If you find a design you like that much I'm loving positive you could have it remade at less than 1.5k

I spent less than 1.3k on the engagement ring.

And that felt like a loving steal considering a diamond of equivalent size would've cost 8k. Moissanite is badass. (Lab made only, it's carbon + silicone and a 9.5 on the hardness scale; which is logarithmic, a diamond @ 10 is like 4x stronger than a sapphire/ruby at 8. And it lacks the cleavage that a diamond has, and it's only found in meteors in natural form)

Anyway. Rip

Rockin Orthodontist posted:

But it is after labor day!

Carrion Luggage posted:

my gf said i needed to sleep on the couch because i fart too much in my sleep and wakes her up

Pvt.Scott posted:

I like the terrible, horrifying, depressing posts. I like my comedy like my coffee: black, cold and bitter. Or was that how I like my women...

Pvt.Scott posted:

If I was 5' 2" I'd find me a 6' broad just to gently caress with people.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Porn is just a thing people need to accept and get over. Kinda like pooping. You don't try and catch them doing it, and you just hope you're not around when they do it.

Elsa posted:

I just keep thinking of this one video where the camera operator is adding his own moans to the noise and then he says, "You hear that grunting? That's how you know she likes it."

Grunting

Antivehicular posted:

I think/guess the idea of "hotwife" is that the dude is getting off on the idea of "ohhh, my wife is so hot, she's a sexual force of nature no man can resist, and I can no more tame her than I could tame the wind" instead of "ohhh, I'm such a miserable worm-man that I can't keep my wife from cheating on me constantly, my life is a humiliating agony" or whatever? You're right that it doesn't seem to correlate to actual wife hotness.

Bobby Digital posted:

Pvt.Scott posted:

Scumfucking takes a lot of hard work, so I'm not sure they'd be into it. You have to skim a lot of pond surface before you have a scum mass worth boning.

Elsa posted:

skater buddy of mine told girls he had a small penis, and the ones who would stop to argue or express disbelief he'd invite to look. Stand real close while they both looked down the front of his belt line. He had sex with all of them. Micropenis should have just disclosed and been okay with it. Slap one forearm and then the other and say he's been blessed with the real pleasuremakers.

If his dick works enough and is big enough to feel his orgasms most of his problems are in his head.

Cakefarts Carol posted:

also my girlfriend comes at the drop of a hat and instead of it being super hot I get pissy that there's a deficit in the gently caress budget

Troposphere posted:

guys I just found out my coworker is into ddlg how do I manage to exist with them in a room and not be constantly screaming

elise the great posted:

Long pubic hair is itchy and loving horrible to deal with if you menstruate. But if you grow it out, for the love of god almighty, comb that poo poo for strays if you plan to have anyone's face down there, because a loose pube stuck to your tonsil can end a spelunking expedition immediately.

I don't care how magical your secret garden is, if I choke on the shrubbery, you can take of hoeing your own flowerbed, if you know what I mean. I suspect it's the same for a decent number of pube haters: got a mouthful of weeds, now prefer the sidewalk.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Wash your Balls

Rough Lobster posted:

You're supposed to dip your ballsack into a container of vanilla Greek yogurt post-shave for the cooling sensation and then you follow it up with a dunk into apple cider vinegar for purification. Did you really never learn this?

Blue Train posted:

Just put deodorant on em dude

Troposphere posted:

drat that girl carving a cutie mark into her rear end yelling at a brony DO YOU LOVE ME NOW is wild af

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Man, just hang an air freshener tree around your donger, keep that taint and balls new car fresh

zakharov posted:

What has happened to this thread?

Fartbox posted:

Do your balls seriously stink so bad you need deodorant on them?

Man check your diet or health or something that aint right

Pvt.Scott posted:

Trying to shave a wrinkly sack of sensitive skin for the first time is not an exciting adventure, it's true.

NomChompsky posted:

Nope, I won't allow them to enjoy hearing. Any militant deafs that change their mind and get good ears are gonna get a fuckin' red hot chili peppers/maroon 5 mix tape from yours truly.

Suck on that, deafos.

Waci posted:

Yea cutting off your child because they're not ideologically pure enough due to communicating with people who dont share your identity sure is a cool and sane thing to do.

Pvt.Scott posted:

For starters, they think of "my Asperger's Syndrome which makes me a more intelligent, hyper-rational übermensch," when they hear the word autism. You know, instead of a broad spectrum of often crippling disorders requiring lifetime care. They think it's the inferior normies trying to exterminate a superior mutation of the human race. That and there's the parents of autistic children who are invested in a lifetime of extremely stressful care for their unfortunate children, who feel threatened by the thought that their suffering and hardship would have been in vain, in a sense.

maskenfreiheit posted:

there was a guy my friend knew in grad school who lost a lot of weight by switching from beer to liquor

Pick posted:

wow you loving suck

Pick posted:

Like, it's fun to whine, but tbh so he threw away some cupcakes. At this point it's just another story that people either think is funny or don't, but I'm not really out anything just because I hung out with a rude friend for a while.

Pick posted:

The story gets a life of its own for internet amusement, but if you look through the original content in particular, he's an old friend who has gotten withdrawn and was bad at being punctual. We never never a couple. I'd bake stuff for work and drop some of it off on my way home since he happened to live by my workplace. We went camping and he crawled under a truck, and that part is still pretty funny.

Chill Nazi Frog posted:

sometimes i still think about the one where the girlfriend wanted to open the relationship so she could gently caress her coworker(?) guilt-free and the boyfriend said "let me sleep on it" and the next day shut it down categorically and the gf was like, SHOCKED that he had the spine to say no unequivocally. can't find it for the life of me, but i'm glad some people are standing up for themselves in a thread full of losers and doormats.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Nah, I'm just going to change the locks while you're out.

Lame edited

Pick posted:

don't marry women who want things, power move

Barudak posted:

American women, do not miss out on Fuckapalooza that is europe. It is the one socially sanctioned time you can just trawl for dick and nobody back home will know/say anything. You get to come back and refer to an orgiastic experience in a back alley of rome as "oh these italians were arguing about something and they were just, <wistful and longing sigh> so passionate"