UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

OwlFancier posted:

Is that the normal approach to london city or is it deliberately photoshopped to make it look like the plane is about to 911 the banking towers?

No that plane�s taking off
Barclays in front of HSBC in front of One Canada Sq is east to west heading away from the airport.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 15:34

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 06:15

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Aramoro posted:

I mean broadly gently caress boats, but Cairnryan to Belfast is 2 hours crossing + faffing about time is more like 3-3:30 hours. And it costs �100+ per car + �30 per passenger. If you could just drive to Ireland it would be undeniably cheaper for the users.

That only works if the users aren�t paying for the infrastructure though

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 16:19

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

feedmegin posted:

How the bloody hell are UK regions and nations supposed to set their own immigration policies without either Border Force checking passports/visas at the Scottish/English border (or the M25), or introducing hukous?

they�re not
it�s something the SNP float regularly, knowing it will be shot down as impossible in practice, to give them another wedge issue. so never supposed to actually need to be implemented.

quite why Nandy�s jumped on that, who knows. desperation to try to throw something out there that says �I�m paying attention to the nations� like Johnson�s non-starter bridge perhaps

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 20:09

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

thespaceinvader posted:

As I noted upthread or possibly last month, it's probably because there's postal voting for the luddites. It takes time.

that explains the the month from now to the result, but not the 3 months up till now.
really the party is bad at organising stuff

shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to campaigning for the locals in May

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 09:42

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Miftan posted:

I do not like the direction this thread has taken today.

Would you say it�s driving you round the bend?

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 14:46

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

I want to catch the corona virus by the end of the month.

Thai authorities have cancelled all public Song Kran celebrations, and the circuit party I�ve booked tickets for has been �postponed� by the organisers until next year. Makes my whole trip a bit pointless. But travel insurance won�t pay out for a cancelation that�s by your own choice. If I had a medical certificate that I couldn�t travel however, I�d be covered.

Or the government could ban visitors / flights from the UK, since we do have more cases than them so far. That�d work too.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2020 21:18

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

I can�t imagine trying to snort coke while suffering from severe respiratory problems.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2020 23:30

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

OwlFancier posted:

Because this is a civilized country, the dead go in the green garden waste bin and will be collected once every three to four weeks.

food waste bin. you can�t put meat in the compost

# ¿ Mar 11, 2020 20:48

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

All teaching cancelled next week
After that all teaching & assessment is going to be online only for the rest of term
But us admin staff are still required to work at campus instead of from home

lol
I think there�s enough of us on the verge of saying �gently caress that� and staying home that they couldn�t afford to discipline us all

# ¿ Mar 12, 2020 16:49

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Ms Adequate posted:

Hold on what the gently caress, PrEP has helped crash HIV transmission rates through the floor and it wasn't even properly provided here??

Extremely normal country

yeah. it�s been a mix of people buying from online pharmacies / private care in the UK (after the patent expired anyway and price dropped) / relying on charity / a very limited number of trial places that was effectively impossible to sign up for because so oversubscribed

with no announcement yet of a concrete date for NHS rollout, or what criteria will be used to decide who�s at high enough risk I remain cautious rather than optimistic
not expecting buyer�s regret over the 6 months worth I bought last week

# ¿ Mar 15, 2020 10:55

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Oodles posted:

I work in an industry that regularly runs "Lessons Learned" at the end of projects, and we constantly fail to implement them in the next project. They go into a spreadsheet and forgotten about.

I shouldn't be surprised that the same level of incompetance is prevelant in government.

what you�re saying is that you work in �absolutely any industry at all�?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 16:35

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

The vast majority of streets in London can't actually support modern main battle tanks. Certainly neither of the embankments or any of the main north/south roads could (underground lines, sewers and underground rivers), and I'm willing to bet that utility conduits aren't rated for 70 tons either, turning just about every main road in London into a pretty effective tank trap. I also seriously doubt that any of the road bridges apart from *maybe* London Bridge could support one either.

I want to see someone try to drive a tank over Hammersmith bridge
we all need some entertainment in grim times

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 17:55

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

my private eye sub never turned up, and I genuinely think the post�s stolen it for toilet paper

# ¿ Mar 21, 2020 17:59

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Angepain posted:

my flatmate told me he's gone to a friend's house this evening and when he gets back I will have to very thoroughly resist the urge to demand he justify why he didn't use skype like i'm some kind of social distance police

having a great old time

they�re loving
hth

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 09:17

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

jaete posted:

i wonder how risky cycling (in central London) would be, virus-catching-wise

probably not too risky i guess if you don't touch your face. i've been sitting indoors for two days straight now and this poo poo sucks

safer than cycling normally is cos there�s bugger all traffic

assuming you have no symptoms, or other cause to be required to self-isolate?
go for it. exercise will help you get through this.
keep a respectful distance if you�re stopped at a junction with others.

combine it with a groceries run so it�s not totally frivolous

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 09:23

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Gonzo McFee posted:

I keep saying it but it's weird that the only people who still believe in capitalism are being slaughtered to save capitalism.

https://twitter.com/markaustintv/status/1241459316302979077

"Lets go back to 2012" is the only Centrist policy.

nah, it seems like �bankrupt the BBC� is also on this guy�s list

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 15:58

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Wiggly Wayne DDS posted:

well good news police scotland finally figured out that compulsory closures could be used until the emergency powers to close pubs gets through:
https://twitter.com/ConnorGillies/status/1241751273113862146

e: and sense of smell/taste? seems to be mostly younger people getting it which is why it wasn't on any of the prior lists which came from hospitalised cases

I hope these places get looted hard at some point during the closure
also every Spoons

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 17:36

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

a pipe smoking dog posted:

Why are they suspending it? Surely they should be tightening it?

officially so that doctors, nurses, etc can get to work without having to use the tube

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 15:57

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

good news everyone. HMRC have promised to take it easy on non-resident citizens who, due to the pandemic, have unexpectedly found themselves stuck in the UK for longer than usually allowed without being considered resident again for tax purposes

https://www.ft.com/content/e48c1ea2-6d1a-11ea-89df-41bea055720b

quote:

The UK tax authorities have taken steps to allay the fears of British expatriates stuck in the UK because of the coronavirus crisis and worried they might fall foul of tough tax-residence rules.

HM Revenue & Customs has declared that people who face impairing their non-residence tax status through having to stay in the UK longer than planned could apply for special treatment under �exceptional circumstances� regulations.

The decision was welcomed by tax advisers who said they could not recall HMRC ever before promising such a wide-ranging concession in advance of reviewing individual tax returns.

Advisers said that, while tax officials had previously accepted pleas for special treatment in the event of, for example, a volcano eruption or the 2014 Ebola crisis in Africa, they have not issued such a sweeping promise of flexibility.

�The revenue has never done anything like this before,� said Simon Goldring, a partner at law firm McDermott Will and Emery. �I have never seen the revenue respond so fast to help people.�

HMRC said in a guidance note on March 19 that the pandemic may affect people living abroad who want to move freely to and from the UK, and may require them to remain unexpectedly in the UK.

It said it would treat as exceptional circumstances the cases of people quarantined in the UK or asked by a health professional or public health guidance to self-isolate in the UK; those advised by official government advice not to travel out of the UK; those unable to leave because of border closures; and those asked by an employer to return temporarily to the UK because of the virus.

The HMRC note said a final decision �will always depend on the facts and circumstances of each individual case�.

HMRC said the change was �not a blanket ruling and should be read in conjunction with existing guidance, and does not represent a change in the rules or requirements for determining tax residency.�

Under UK tax law, depending on personal ties to the UK, non-residents can spend 16 to 183 days in Britain before they have to start paying UK tax. Above 183 days they are considered UK residents.

HMRC grants each non-resident an additional 60 days for exceptional circumstances such as births, deaths, sudden and life-threatening illness or injury.

It said it was �keeping the situation under review� after tax advisers called for even more flexibility by relaxing the 60-day limit. Mr Goldring said: �HMRC should go further to provide an unrestricted extension for Covid-19, in appropriate circumstances.�

Some 5.5m British citizens live abroad, including professionals in the US and Hong Kong, pensioners in Spain and Portugal, and millionaires in tax havens such as Monaco.

In the tax year ending April 2019, there were 223,000 non-resident taxpayers, said HMRC. More than 2,600 non-resident taxpayers claimed at least one day in the UK as being because of exceptional circumstances.

Nimesh Shah, a partner at accountancy firm Blick Rothenberg, said taxpayers seeking to benefit from the ruling should ensure all the paperwork was in order. Officials might probe a claim in 18-24 months� time �when the present situation may be a distant memory and HMRC not as sympathetic or lenient.�

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 18:41

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

was planning on nipping out for a big shop tomorrow before work. don't think i'll bother now. will be manic again after tonight's announcement
also to return my library books. hope they put a freeze on late fees :ohdear:

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 22:14

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

ThomasPaine posted:

wait how do I dry out my fleshlight at my parent's house when we're all under quarantine

at least 2m away from mum & dad wherever you do end up leaving it

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 23:04

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

outside Waitrose at 8 I shouted at the crowd to form an orderly queue, 2m apart. and they did. feels like the first genuinely useful thing I�ve done all week.

still want the guy who skipped ahead of me before that to catch the rona and die though. gently caress him.

and I know someone posted a company email yesterday saying don�t wear masks on the shop floor. fwiw it doesn�t look like that�s being enforced.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 11:12

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

NotJustANumber99 posted:

So presumably everyone whose posted in here today about going to the supermarket won't be doing so again until next tuesday?

yes, that�s the plan. or weds even
unless there�s a power cut and the fridge goes or something like that

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 16:27

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

christ, the labour leadership election is still dragging on

Wuhan lockdown�s starting to be lifted now, and the infection there was first reported the same week as the election here

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 20:53

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Soylent Yellow posted:

I'm thinking Coronavirus might be the push we need to finally go cashless (apart from the fact that nobody will be left with any money). Most shops that are still open aren't taking cash, so the people who avoid electronic payments because "cash is more convenient" aren't left with any choice. In the long term when we're looking at preparing for the next epidemic, physical cash and the hand contact you get when handing it over is going to be an obvious red flag. We're most of the way there already, so there's no legitimate reason not to go the full distance. Criminals can just suck it up and use bitcoin.

what do people expect? the grocery store is going to count all that cash and take it the bank? bank�s closed.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 12:22

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Wachter posted:

Uhhh someone unpack this for me here. You have to queue to fill out an online form?

yeah, same principle as queuing to fill an online form on ticketmaster. demand management so they�re not overwhelmed

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 16:25

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Guavanaut posted:

I'm surprised, given that they stopped doing those in school (they used to do 'find your blood type' in biology) because students kept loving up and hurting themselves.

If it's the only way it's the only way, but it's a bit unusual to see something like that in a mass rollout. I guess you really don't want everyone queuing at public offices to get the test though.

anyone can get a pinprick blood test in the post already for a sexual health screening. no big deal

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 18:02

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

brits abroad keeping up the hard work of being the worst tourists always

https://www.taiwannews.com.tw/en/news/3904965

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 09:35

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Hallucinogenic Toreador posted:

BBC reporting Boris has it, I'm sure he's happy to be contributing to herd immunity.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I�ve nothing else to add really

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 12:50

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

genuinely, I hope his pregnant fianc�e is ok and uninfected though

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 13:25

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

OwlFancier posted:

I still have no idea what loving brain genius decided to cut public transport. If khan had anything to do with it he wants shooting for the harm he's doing.

they don�t even have enough staff left to run a full service

e: are you actually Michael Gove?

Cerv fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Mar 27, 2020

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 22:16

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Kin posted:

In a strange anecdote, I recently went into a Frankie and Bennys with a friend who has a servere nut allergy.

When he mentioned it, they came back and made him sign a waiver before ordering.

I've never seen that before, it was surreal.

that�s bizarre. did you stay or go elsewhere?

# ¿ Mar 28, 2020 12:44

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

quote:

Self-employed forced on to breadline with no government help

Larisa Bucur has been on hold for more than three hours trying to register for state benefit through the universal credit helpline. A London-based interpreter, she usually earns around �1,200 to �1,800 a month, translating between Romanian and English at mental health and social services appointments.

Now, thanks to coronavirus, all this face-to-face work has been cancelled. Her partner, a self-employed construction worker, has also lost his income as building sites close.

�In two weeks time, we will have no money left,� Ms Bucur said � speaking by text message, so as not to lose her place in the universal credit queue. Her partner may � eventually � be able to recover 80 per cent of his lost income from the government�s new support scheme for the self-employed. But because she turned freelance only recently, she will not receive anything.

Ms Bucur is one of almost half a million people who applied for universal credit in the past week as the UK begins to feel the full force of the economic shock resulting from the coronavirus lockdown.

Such a steep week-on-week rise in benefits claims is all but unprecedented, leading economists to warn that unemployment may already be rising far more swiftly than during the 2008 financial crisis � despite the government offering help to employers who furlough staff rather than fire them.

Some large retail chains � including Pret A Manger and Timpson � have sent staff home on full pay, on the strength of the government�s promise to pay 80 per cent of wages for those affected, backdated to the start of March.

Many smaller businesses facing a near total loss of revenue are worried about taking on debt to cover wage payments until government help arrives.

�I don�t like to get a loan. It goes against the grain. But I will if I have to do it to pay the lads,� said Stacey Arron, who runs two removal and storage companies in West Yorkshire. He has largely shut down his business on safety grounds, despite intense pressure from clients to go ahead with house moves, and will need to find �5-6,000 a week to cover wages and insurance.

Some much larger businesses are taking a more startling approach. A mechanical engineer who worked for Wren Kitchens, a manufacturer and retailer based near Hull, told the Financial Times he was one of many staff informed since the lockdown that they had failed their probation and would be let go with a week�s wages in lieu of notice. His redundancy letter, which did not explain his alleged poor performance, did not even spell his name correctly.

Tim Martin, chairman of the pub chain JD Wetherspoon, earned notoriety after sending staff a rambling video message saying they would not be paid until the government scheme was in place (the company has now been forced to backtrack) and advising them to look for work at supermarket Tesco.

With job losses mounting, many people are facing immediate financial hardship.

The charity Citizens Advice has seen a surge in traffic to its website in the last month, with people searching first for advice on flight cancellations, a week later on sick pay, and then on redundancy and benefits. But on Thursday, the most viewed page was: �What to do if you can�t pay your bills because of coronavirus�.

Among those approaching Citizens Advice for help was David, a decorator in Derbyshire who had been unable to work since December owing to back problems. He was already worried about mortgage and credit card payments when the Covid-19 outbreak hit: since then, his wife lost her work as a childminder and his son has come home from college, increasing food bills.

He had borrowed money from one of his sons, used all his savings and was waiting for an overdue response on a benefits claim. In arrears on his mortgage, he is expecting to incur extra charges. �We have enough in our account for this month,� he said. �Next month where are we going to get the money for that? I haven�t a clue.�

The Covid-19 shock has come at a time when many households are ill-equipped to cope with a sudden loss of income.

Data released this week showed that typical household incomes had been stagnant for three years up to 2018-19, with the income of the poorest 10 per cent no higher than in 2013-14. Research last year by the Resolution Foundation, a think-tank, found that more than half of low and middle income households had no savings at all to fall back on in a downturn.

Michele Dillon, a Glasgow-based photographer, is one of many people close to tears at their situation. She usually has next to no income in the early months of the year, but her business � largely producing official stills for Bollywood dramas filmed in Scotland � picks up in spring. Now she is at home applying for a mortgage holiday and wondering whether she can afford to take her dog to the vet.

The government�s support for the self-employed, designed to replace 80 per cent of average earnings over the past three years, is of no help to her, she says, because �2020 would have been the first year my company would have made a profit�.

Lisa Graydon, a dance teacher in Huddersfield, is in the same position. The numbers attending her classes started dropping at the end of January, as people became wary about holding hands with strangers. In early March, she had to cancel a national competition she had organised at a day�s notice, losing �1,500 spent on hotel rooms, food, hall hire and trophies.

�I�ve got no income coming in whatsoever. I�ve had to refund everybody that booked on the event,� she said. But because her business, CurlyWurlyEvents, was only just starting to turn a profit, she said she would not benefit from the government�s support for the self-employed. �Eighty per cent of nothing is still nothing.�

that�s not the Guardian or other leftie source. it�s the FT
the government have hosed this totally. got to be a u-turn early next week

link: https://www.ft.com/content/5276044c-61fa-49fe-9941-b692b1dfb625

# ¿ Mar 28, 2020 21:15

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

minema posted:

surely it's better not to drive somewhere to go for a walk anyway. yeah the police are bastards but avoiding non-essential travel seems like an easy thing everyone can do

with greenhouse gas emissions and pollution falling across the board during the crisis, someone�s got to go out of their way to make up the shortfall

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 11:53

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Jedit posted:

He looks hungover.

Also it's been pointed out that he has the entire cabinet on mute, so he can't hear a thing they're saying.

that�s perfectly normal though
any call of remotely that size everyone has to stay on mute except to take turns to speak. otherwise it�s unmanageable.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 15:47

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Jedit posted:

Very generous of you, but if you can stand to look at the screenshot it isn't Boris's turn to speak. Natalie Evans is the one who is talking, and he's got her turned off.

green outline round Johnson means he is speaking
cabinet is poo poo at this and needs a training course. oh dear

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 16:00

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 06:15

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Pablo Bluth posted:

After two days of falls, UK deaths have jumped up to 381 in 24hrs.

sounds like stairs are more dangerous than the coronavirus

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 16:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo