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Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Bobby Deluxe posted:

women jumping round in bikinis

Oh no :monocle:

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Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

smellmycheese posted:

All going well at the UK’s premier government mouthpiece I see…



I don't know, first it's too hot (in August) and now it's too cold. The weather wants to make its mind up.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
It's funny watching broadcast tv at my parents now, it's like being wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket of Countryfile, antiques shows and 'gentle' comedy-dramas. It's perfect for old people to have on in the background as a reassuring hum while they potter around the house.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Who will compile It's a Funny Old World in Private Eye now?

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Gonna buy Rogue Trader when it comes out and be heretical as gently caress.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

It's a shocking story - heavens knows how many people she's hurt with her lies.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
I avoid the litter wardens by simply putting all my rubbish in a bin.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Diet Crack posted:

JUST DONT loving VOTE AT ALL



Getting really sick of these articles myself. Someone on Twitter summed them up as: "I need this dog I've bought to meow and scratch the furniture."

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

EmptyVessel posted:



That's probably enough of my prolix Neanderthal fanboying now.

Naah, Neanderthals are endlessly fascinating!
I love that there was this bizarre era tens of thousands of years ago where Homo Sapiens, Neanderthalis, Erectus (snigger), Denosivian, Floresiensis and probably a whole bunch of other human species all shared the world together. Must have been like Dungeons and Dragons, with humans, elves, dwarves, gnomes and hobbits all chilling out in taverns together, probably.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Chubby Henparty posted:

He's out with his new droogs, meets his mate who didn't become a pig, and his good lady wife, and realises aftet all he went through he's just grown out of it.

Yep, that's it:

quote:


So thinking like this with my gulliver bent and my rookers stuck in my trouser carmans I walked the town, brothers, and at last I began to feel very tired and also in great need of a nice bolshy chasha of milky chai. Thinking about this chai, I got a sudden like picture of me sitting before a bolshy fire in an armchair peeting away at this chai, and what was funny and very very strange was that I seemed to have turned into a very starry chelloveck, about seventy years old, because I could viddy my own voloss, which was very grey, and I also had whiskers, and these were very grey too. I could viddy myself as an old man, sitting by a fire, and then the like picture vanished. But it was very like strange.

I came to one of these tea-and-coffee mestos, brothers, and I could viddy through the long long window that it was full of very dull lewdies, like ordinary, who had these very patient and expressionless litsos and would do no harm to no one, all sitting there and govoreeting like quietly and peeting away at their nice harmless chai and coffee. I ittied inside and went up to the counter and bought me a nice hot chai with plenty of moloko, then I ittied to one of these tables and sat down to peet it. There was a like young couple at this table, peeting and smoking filter-tip cancers, and govoreeting and smecking very quietly between themselves, but I took no notice of them and just went on peeting away and like dreaming and wondering what was going to happen to me. But I viddied that the devotchka at this table who was with this chelloveck was real horrorshow, not the sort you would want to like throw down and give the old in-out in-out to, but with a horrorshow plott and litso and a smiling rot and very very fair voloss and all that cal. And then the veck with her, who had a hat on his gulliver and had his litso like turned away from me, swivelled round to viddy the boshy big clock they had on the wall in this mesto, and then I viddied who he was and then he viddied who I was. It was Pete, one of my three droogs from those days when it was Georgie and Dim and him and me. It was Pete like looking older though he could not now be more than nineteen and a bit, and he had a bit of a moustache and an ordinary day-suit and this hat on. I said:

'Well well well, droogie, what gives? Very very long time no viddy.' He said:

'It's little Alex, isn't it?'

'None other,' I said. 'A long long long time since those dead and gone good days. And now poor Georgie, they told me, is underground and old Dim is a brutal millicent, and here is thou and here is I, and what news hast thou, old droogie?'

'He talks funny, doesn't he?' said the devotchka, like giggling.

'This,' said Pete to the devotchka, 'is an old friend. His name is Alex. May I,' he said to me, 'introduce my wife?'

My rot fell wide open then. 'Wife?' I like gasped. 'Wife wife wife? Ah no, that cannot be. Too young art thou to be married, old droog. Impossible impossible.'

This devotchka who was like Pete's wife (impossible impossible) giggled again and said to Pete: 'Did you used to talk like that too?'

'Well,' said Pete, and he like smiled. 'I'm nearly twenty. Old enough to be hitched, and it's been two months already. You were very young and very forward, remember.'

'Well,' I like gaped still. 'Over this get can I not, old droogie. Pete married. Well well well.'

'We have a small flat,' said Pete. 'I am earning very small money at State Marine Insurance, but things will get better, that I know. And Georgina here-'

'What again is that name?' I said, rot still open like bezoomny. Pete's wife (wife, brothers) like giggled again.

'Georgina,' said Pete. 'Georgina works too. Typing, you know. We manage, we manage.' I could not, brothers, take my glazzies off him, really. He was like grown up now, with a grown-up goloss and all. 'You must,' said Pete, 'come and see us sometime. You still,' he said, 'look very young, despite all your terrible experiences. Yes yes yes, we've read all about them. But, of course, you are very young still.'

'Eighteen,' I said, 'just gone.'

'Eighteen, eh?' said Pete. 'As old as that. Well well well. Now,' he said, 'we have to be going.' And he like gave this Georgina of his a like loving look and pressed one of her rookers between his and she gave him one of these looks back, O my brothers. 'Yes,' said Pete, turning back to me, 'we're off to a little party at Greg's.'

'Greg?' I said.

'Oh, of course,' said Pete, 'you wouldn't know Greg, would you? Greg is after your time. While you were away Greg came into the picture. He runs little parties, you know. Mostly wine-cup and word-games. But very nice, very pleasant, you know. Harmless, if you see what I mean.'

'Yes,' I said. 'Harmless. Yes yes, I viddy that real horrorshow.' And this Georgina devotchka giggled again at my slovos. And then these two ittied off to their vonny word-games at this Greg's, whoever he was. I was left all on my oddy knocky with my milky chai, which was getting cold now, like thinking and wondering.

Perhaps that was it, I kept thinking. Perhaps I was getting too old for the sort of jeezny I had been leading, brothers. I was eighteen now, just gone. Eighteen was not a young age. At eighteen old Wolfgang Amadeus had written concertos and symphonies and operas and oratorios and all that cal, no, not cal, heavenly music. And then there was old Felix M. with his Midsummer Night's Dream Overture. And there were others. And there was this like French poet set by old Benjy Britt, who had done all his best poetry by the age of fifteen, O my brothers. Arthur, his first name. Eighteen was not all that young an age, then. But what was I going to do?

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
I kind of thought wework had gone bankrupt, they always seemed to be in the business of providing adult creches rather than office space and I never understood how their company came to be worth so much before it all went bad.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Tbe Guardian is getting crazily terfy:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/28/forget-andrew-tate-what-about-the-host-of-misogynists-in-labours-ranks

Forget Andrew Tate – what about the host of misogynists in Labour’s ranks? posted:


...But what happens when an impressive woman – and Duffield is not the only offender here, the SNP struggles with Joanna Cherry KC – just won’t stop talking about sex-based rights? Even after they have been energetically discouraged by online threats and insults – some originating from colleagues – and by the sort of violence-inciting banners that have become so familiar at demonstrations that some SNP MPs easily missed one reading “Decapitate Terfs” (trans-exclusionary radical feminists, now a catch-all term for recalcitrant women*).

If Labour’s responses to its woman problem (as Duffield rightly calls it) can never compete with Tate’s videos, its progressive approach to misogyny is arguably more instructive for men who would like to shut women up but cannot afford a Romania-based chick compound...


If you support trans rights, you're literally allying yourself with Andrew Tate and his fellow travellers.


*citation needed

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

smellmycheese posted:

I think one thing that’s not remarked on about the average Tory voter when it comes to Sunak is just how massively racist they are. I’m convinced a part of his terrible ratings compared to Boris are to do with his skin colour

I dunno, the country's in crisis and Sunak's visibly out of touch and out of his depth and is spending as much time as possible hiding from the public. His performance since coming in objectively has been poo poo, so it's not surprising that people are saying so.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
I'm in the Green Party but haven't done anything with it yet, mainly due to feeling incredibly demoralised about the current political situation. (What's the point :cry:)

I'm actually Bristol-based, so perhaps I should get involved, would be great to have played a part in tossing Thangam Debonnaire out come the next election.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Darth Walrus posted:

The unfortunate reality is that Russia is a nuclear power, so their complete military defeat is not an option, and so the war is functionally an extended negotiation to see how little gain they can be conclusively persuaded to stop fighting at without going 'gently caress it, we're glassing Ukraine'.... even the most hawkish folks realise that this whole mess will eventually end around the negotiating table.

Yeah, it's this. Western countries are officially steadfastly insisting that Russia must be completely defeated in Ukraine but they don't actually mean it. If they genuinely saw this as a ww2 existential crisis against an implacable enemy, places like the UK would be introducing conscription, nationalising key industries and turning them over to military production, borrowing hugely to rapidly build up the armed forces, interning Russia citizens and sympathisers in prison camps etc etc. They're doing none of that and don't have the faintest intention of starting.

What's happening instead is that enough money and equipment is being fed into Ukraine to keep the conflict simmering along but sufficient support to actually end it is firmly off the table. I've got very little doubt that the USA and Russia are already quietly discussing what requirements have to be met to bring the conflict to an end and meanwhile the killing continues. That's how I see the situation and why I think we should have immediate peace talks now rather than in a year's time, when nothing much has changed and a whole bunch more people are dead.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
The fact that both Truss and Johnson are visibly preparing comebacks tells you so much about the trajectory of Sunak's leadership lol.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Rust Martialis posted:

You feel just *terrible* for them, but not terrible *enough* to actually support stopping an ongoing genocide.

100% agreed on you avoiding the Ukraine thread if that's your best take on the situation.

I can only aspire to having a rapsheet like yours, godspeed :cheersdoge:

On a different subject, one of the many odd things about the current right-wing commentariat is how they simultaneously believe that the country's better off than ever and that the lifestyles taken for granted in previous decades are now completely extravagent.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/04/britain-faces-destitution-refuses-admit-state-pension-unaffordable/

quote:

But even if we carry on with our current, more modest, increases in longevity, the existing model is unaffordable. A sharp decline in our birthrate from around 1970 means that the ratio of pensioners to workers will keep rising. The only way for the government to remain solvent is to bring its pension obligations into line with how we live now.

I am not talking only of the basic state pension. Public sector pensions, too, will need to reflect reality. On current projections, our main state agencies – in healthcare, education, policing, local government – may cease to be service providers and become pension providers. Their budgets will be swallowed up by obligations to long-retired workers.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Nesrine is pretty sound, I think the problem here is the sub-editor who considers Starmer and the rest of the current Labour leadership to be in any way 'Left'. It should have said 'Centrists'.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

ThomasPaine posted:

Lol do you ever get the feeling that all of *this* would be so insanely easy to fix if we had a a competent left wing party. It's not like there isn't space for it either. Why are centrists the most deluded people yet universally the most utterly convinced that they're the only serious adults in the room.

We had a left-wing party 2015-2019 and the Establishment conclusively crushed it. Now we have the choice between right wing loonies and authoritarian technocrats and that's as much as we're going to get in the future.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

kingturnip posted:


Doesn't exactly sound as if we're sending the best and brightest to Westminster, does it? A bunch of cretins who can only get a job when it's handed to them by someone they met at a Durham University Conservative Association networking event, or by their dad.
Does the Job Centre Plus still run courses on how to apply for jobs? Maybe we should start sending former MPs there to get some valuable skills.


On that note, here's a pretty eye-popping story about Jared O'Mara, who basically lucked into being an MP through an unexpected election victory and then behaved like a particularly irresponsible 1st year university student instead of doing, well, anything at all:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/feb/08/drink-drugs-and-defrauding-the-state-the-spectacular-fall-of-jared-omara

quote:


O’Mara was a heavy drinker. The court heard that every other day, if not every day, his parents would bring him a litre bottle of vodka, bottles of Mountain Dew and 60 cigarettes.

O’Mara was said to be “poo poo-faced” when he was interviewed by BBC Look North. Arnold accused him of drinking a whole bottle of vodka before it. The MP denied being drunk but footage of the interview, tracked down by the Guido Fawkes website, does not help his cause. O’Mara is clearly slurring as he speaks of his intention to stand in the 2019 election. Arnold recalled O’Mara’s parents telling him that O’Mara was not just drunk, he was “hammered”.

O’Mara almost never went to the constituency office in Sheffield and very rarely went to parliament, the court heard. His friend John Woodliff, a former bouncer and milkman who said he acted as a kind of personal assistant, would go to O’Mara’s house and “pretty much get him up because he just lay in bed all day”.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Christ, that mugshot looks like it should be under a "Career burglar jailed after robbing three homes in one night" sort of headline.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
I deliberately chose my house because it was just off the local high street and I could walk to the supermarkets, pubs, cafes etc in just a couple of minutes. I've lived out in big sprawling estates before with no facilities in walking distance and it sucked and I hated it.

I think the whole fear of the 15 minute city thing is tied in with terror of a return to Covid lockdowns and everyone being confined to their immediate neighbourhoods, forever. It's not rational but it's easy to tie it into a conspiracy theory where the powers that be want to set this system up so that they can introduce restrictions at the drop of a hat and the infrastructure's already there to make it happen.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/soniasodha/status/1624821572845404161

Ask her why she ignored sexual abuse from Nick Cohen. go on, it'd be funny

Christ, her Twitter account sure is... something.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Kind of surprising article from a Telegraph head-banger, where she 1) Admits that the handling of Brexit has been disastrous and 2) That there are deep-seated problems in the country that Brexit has done nothing to put right:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/13/brexit-finally-dead-tory-party-will-soon-suffer-fate/

quote:


We could dwell at length on who exactly killed Brexit. But in truth, as on Agatha Christie’s Orient Express, everybody wielded the knife. It was Theresa May who squandered her parliamentary majority and thus gravely weakened Britain’s negotiating position against Brussels. It was the political class who could never see the project as more than a damage limitation exercise. And it was the Brexiteers who failed to muster a compellingly modern vision – preferring to glory in buccaneering fantasies of free trade than focus on regulatory divergence to jump-start science and tech.

Regardless, the fact remains that Brexit is dead. The only thing left to do is the political equivalent of disposing of the body.

She thinks that, for the country to move forwards and move on from Brexit, the Tory Party has to go... permanently; which is an interesting take to see in the Torygraph.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Guardian article worth reading for the sheer audacity of key points omitted and failures to mention who was actually responsible for the stuff that they DO mention:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/feb/15/labour-out-of-ehrc-special-measures-after-progress-on-tackling-antisemitism

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Yeah, I've got no idea who's big in Holyrood apart from Sturgeon; for all I know, she's got various potential successors lined up already.

More generally, holy poo poo, politics is depressing right now. I had so much hope in Labour, and now it's firmly in the hands of those horrible shits, and we on the left let it happen like idiots. I'm probably going for Greens come the next election but I'm really feeling the lack of a forceful left wing party to support.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Well, we've all had obstructive and unpleasant colleagues who you avoid interacting with as much as humanly possible, so I'm kind of sympathetic to Rishi on this occasion.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Tesseraction posted:

Legal Advice UK, in which a Brit was selling crypto transaction SaaS without registering with the government and last night discovers all his bank accounts are sat at £-500k and the banks aren't allowed to talk to him https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/113xdf4/bank_accounts_overdrawn_missing_and_suspended/

Lol, that's when the bank's been informed that there's an active criminal investigation against you and your account's part of it: they're not allowed to tell you; only to say stuff like: "I'm sorry sir, but we can't process your transaction at the current time."

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Why sports coaches? Just imagining giving PE teachers the powers of judges, seems like the fastest route to fascism.

It's 100% about the optics, that's the sort of detail that appeals to grumpy old pensioners who hate the young.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
The human body is remarkably unhappy in low-oxygen environments and will go from unconsciousness to irreversible brain damage to death in a remarkably short number of breaths. You'd think that as people can hold their breath for a minute or two with no ill effects, they'd equally be able to breathe in air lacking oxygen for a bit with no ill effects, but nope.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
It's how people are always getting killed walking back into house fires. They notice the fire and correctly flee the house, then think: "actually it wasn't that bad, I'll just nip back in to grab my phone"; half an hour later, the fire brigade are dragging their corpses out.

(The smoke displaces the oxygen in the air, a fact that isn't immediately apparent until demonstrated empirically.)

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Diet Crack posted:

LauraK saying "That's quite a charge" when someone mentioned Boris is a Liar on her show..

just lmao, there's only a many months long investigation and mountains of supported evidence Laura. Glad they gave you your own show so you can continue being a vapid oval office.

https://twitter.com/TPGRoberts/status/1627257264158507014?t=4Q_JND7cddBFOcnyQDO5zQ&s=19

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
Striking how completely Sunak's flopped, now he's centre stage. Dude should have stayed in the background playing with spreadsheets.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Communist Thoughts posted:

Kieth is doing a victory lap already. It would be very funny if he lost. Otoh it would be very funny to see Rishi fight and lose a disastrous election.

After the nightmare realm opened its maw and swallowed me in 2019 I'm just hoping I can at least find this one funny.

I want the Tories to lose, but also want Labour to eat poo poo, so not sure who to root for here.

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Gambrinus posted:

Rowling has more money than God. If I was lucky enough to be in that position I'd be spending my time travelling the world, and sponsoring the local non-league football team, not wasting my life in 140 characters on the world's worst website.

Yeah, that's the funniest/ saddest thing about it all: she's one of the few people in the world who has the opportunity to live her life in literally any way she likes, and she chooses to spend it in sour-faced Twitter posting and hating on trans people. Like, she's curled up in a massive sofa in a massive sitting room in some big loving mansion, obsessively searching her own name on Twitter, as a butler brings her tea and the daily newspaper on a silver platter (I assume that all rich people have butlers, like Lara Croft).

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

josh04 posted:

https://twitter.com/timfarron/status/1628178468516003849?t=ksxXtIJ2jne767TCFIqdTQ&s=19

lol, Tim has definitely been on one of those evangelical boot camps

I find it quite sweet! It's that style of arguing where you simplify a complex issue down into an either/ or question and say: "Well, it clearly isn't 'x', therefore it must be 'y'! "

C. S. Lewis's books on theology were basically this, where he'd construct arguments based on long chains of either/ or statements. Works great, until one link in the chain breaks, then :shrug:

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

Guavanaut posted:

Reminds me of Mullah Nasruddin, the greatest (folkloric) religious rules lawyer, who is probably a composite of any number of historical pranksters and irl trolls.


My favourite one:

For one reason and another, Mullah Nasruddin found himself appointed to be a judge. He wasn't at all sure what he was supposed to be doing, but did his best to sit up straight in his chair, and look solemn and judge-like.

A dispute between two citizens came before him. The first citizen stated his case clearly and eloquently: "You are right", said Nasruddin. Then the second citizen stood and gave his side of the case; he also spoke fluently and convincingly. "Hmm, you are also right." said Nasruddin.

At this point someone in the gallery lost their temper and called out to Nasruddin, saying that he was doing it all wrong and had to decide the case one way or the other. Said Nasruddin, despairingly, "You are right too!"

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler
The cutesy Guardian articles where they regale us with the wacky details of their quirky middle-class journalist lives are the loving worst.

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Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

I'm mainly surprised that the Manchester Evening News apparently reaches an audience of 18 million people.

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