Jerusalem posted:

I love pro-wrestling so much, it's so loving great

quote:

AEW Dynamite comes on the air with Excalibur welcoming us alongside Tony Schiavone and Taz as we go over the rules and Leagues of the Continental Classic. There are giant Woooo Energy Drink signs on the Titantron screen, as well as cans of the drink on the announce table.

Swerve Strickland defeated Jay Lethal in the Continental Classic Gold League

(The first points in the inaugural Continental Classic go to Strickland, as these two put on a solid back and forth to kick things off in the Gold League. I’m all for zero interference in this tournament, but this means Strickland will be without Prince Nana and his dancing, which is simply unfortunate.)

The crowd is loudly behind Strickland following his performance in the Texas Death Match at Full Gear this past weekend, as his shoulder is taped up. Quick head scissors sent Lethal to the floor, as Lethal was clotheslined into the ring from the apron, landed on his feet and wrenched onto the bad arm before hitting a tope. Lethal faked a Fargo Strut and flipped off the crowd before Strickland did a misdirect basement dropkick, targeting the leg. Lethal managed to reverse a whip and slam Strickland down onto the shoulder to take control. There’s a slug fest, but both men are striking the others injured body part before a series of reversals led to a snap German from Strickland, only for Lethal to respond with a shoulder breaker into the double down to commercial.

Strickland cut off Lethal in the corner with a huge superplex followed by a rolling Flatliner and brainbuster for two. Lethal countered a Figure Four into an inside cradle before delivering a reverse suplex and top rope elbow for a near fall of his own. Strickland countered the Lethal Injection and applied a Stretch Muffler, but Lethal managed counter into a Crossface. Lethal wanted Lethal Injection, but Strickland dropkicked the leg out, hit House Call and Swerve Stomp for the victory.

-Renee Paquette is backstage with Orange Cassidy, HOOK & Katsuyori Shibata. Cassidy asked for this time to make an announcement, which was immediately cut off by Wheeler Yuta, who said it took 17 Orange Punches and exposed buckle to defeat Jon Moxley. Yuta said it makes him sick that Shibata still has ROH Pure Title. Yuta told Shibata to watch his match on ROH this week and left, as Cassidy said he had an announcement, but Paquette said they’re out of time.

MJF & Adam Cole come to the ring with Cole on his crutches and MJF with a cane. MJF said his voice is hoarse because he was pounding beers last night and wants to go deep with the ladies in Chicago and he’s not talking about pizza. MJF put over Jay White as being one of the toughest challengers for his AEW Title and ran down his own resume as AEW Champion before calling himself humble. MJF said none of this would be possible without his brochacho, as its Story Time with Adam Cole Bay-Bay with Cole saying its good news that they’re still ROH Tag Team champions, but with good news, comes bad news. Cole said he’s not even close to being cleared yet as he can’t even really walk yet. That makes the decision for Full Gear to put him in the main event for a few hours leading up even more insane to me.

Cole brings up all the challengers ahead for MJF, but MJF cuts him off and mentions whoever stole his Devil mask and said the hell he’s going to bring to them will feel like heaven. The lights went out and The Devil appeared briefly on screen and laughed before disappearing until Samoa Joe’s music hit and he came to the ring. Joe said MJF stands here still AEW Champion, but also remains ROH Tag Team Champion with the price of giving Joe an AEW Title shot. MJF thought about their deal and his response was simple, “bl*w me” as Joe lunged at MJF and Cole said that’s what the old MJF would say, the new MJF is a man of his word. Cole said he’s been choked out by Joe more times than he can count, but the fans love MJF because when he says something will happen, it happens. Cole told MJF to be a man on his word and give Joe a title shot. MJF said Joe wouldn’t be the first ROH Champion he’s beaten in Chicago and wants to do it tonight, but Joe said absolutely not.

Joe doesn’t want a hurt MJF; he wants the fully healthy and said by Worlds End, MJF should be ready. MJF accepts and shakes Joe’s hand as Joe said he’s good at picking fights too, but all this worrying Max is doing about The Devil should be gone, because MJF is Joe’s property. Joe’s going to make sure he has MJF’s back so he has the best MJF possible before taking the thing he holds dear the most in front of his family and friends on Long Island.

**********

Orange Cassidy, HOOK & Katsuyori Shibata (w/Danhausen) defeated Angelo Parker, Matt Menard & Jake Hager

(The biggest story is the return of Danhausen and also Hager’s beloved purple hat. Heading into the day I was not expecting to see Shibata & Hager beating the hell out of each other tonight, but I’m sure glad it happened, as it was the highlight of this match.)

Before the match, Cassidy said he had a Thanksgiving surprise, as the big screen played the Danhausen video we’ve seen over the past month. Danhausen made his entrance as the match officially began with HOOK launching Menard & Parker before Hager attacked from behind. Hager Bomb out of the corner connected and we immediately went to picture in picture.

HOOK was isolated the entire break before finally hitting an overhead throw on Parker and made the hot tag to Cassidy, who ran wild until Hager caught him with a takedown. Cassidy fought back with a Stundog Millionaire and tagged Shibata, who slugged it out with Hager. Shibata fired off a pump kick, but Hager mowed him down with a knee lift, only to miss a corner splash. Shibata loudly lit Hager up with chops leading to the stalling dropkick. Parker & Menard made the save, as Parker officially made the tag, wanted a triple powerbomb, but Danhausen appeared with Hager’s purple hat we haven’t seen in months. Danhausen put the hat on, cursed Hager, as Cassidy hit a dive with HOOK & Shibata slapping on dueling REDRUM and rear naked chokes, switching at first because they realized Parker & Shibata were legal. Everyone tapped out as Shibata, HOOK, Cassidy & Danhausen stood tall.

-Renee Paquette is backstage with Adam Cole and said they can’t wait to see Cole back healthy until Roderick Strong yells his way into the shot with The Kingdom. Strong asked where Cole was last week when Action Andretti dropped him on his head? Cole screamed at Strong to shut up and get it through his head they aren’t best friends anymore and stormed off. Strong looked heartbroken and told The Kingdom he didn’t mean that.

-Excalibur brings up Will Ospreay officially becoming All Elite at Full Gear, as Tony Schiavone mentions this coming Monday tickets go on pre-sale for All In next year at Wembley.

Christian Cage comes to the ring with Luchasaurus & Nick Wayne and said things didn’t go their way at Full Gear, but in all honesty, he didn’t lose that match, nor did Wayne. Cage turned to Luchasaurus and said he lost the match, which is unacceptable. Cage said both of their lives benefitted from being associated with Cage and since they’re his children, it’s time to re-create them in his image. Luchasaurus reluctantly took a knee after Cage called him a moron and said the name Luchasaurus will be associated with a loser, so he came up with a name of strength, toughness and never means defeat, he’s a finisher. This Saturday on Collision, he’ll be now known as Killswitch. Wayne immediately took a knee, but Cage told him never to do such a thing and called him special, his golden boy, so he’ll always be known as “The Prodigy” Nick Wayne.

Just then we see Nick’s mother, Shayna come to the ring and plead with her son, as Cage called her a terrible mother. Loving her child unconditionally isn’t enough for Wayne, making $40,000 a year waitressing isn’t enough for a Prodigy. It’s a good thing her husband is dead, as Nick would’ve disowned him not being as good of a wrestler as Cage is, nor was he the man or husband that Cage is. Cage said had Shayna played her cards right, things would’ve been different and told her to go punch her card at Denny’s. Killswitch stepped between Cage & Shayna, refusing to move, as Cage slapped him saying they can do things the easy way or the hard way. Cage shoved Killswitch into Shayna, who collapsed as Cage demanded Nick get a chair. Cage was about to give a Con-Chair-To to Shayna when he gave the chair to Killswitch, who pondered doing it until Adam Copeland sprinted to the ring and laid out Nick with a Spear. Killswitch pulled Cage to safety, so Copeland Speared Nick again before delivering an Impaler. Shayna recovered long enough to watch Copeland give a Con-Chair-To to her son with Cage & Killswitch watching at the ramp. I thought this whole segment was really well done.

-Renee Paquette is backstage with Angelo Parker, Matt Menard & Jake Hager, who are screaming about what just happened out there during their match before Anna Jay cuts them all off. Jay said she’s tired of the fighting and losing, she just wants to wrestle and doesn’t know if they’re here to help or hurt her? Parker’s phone rings and we see it’s from Ruby Soho as Jay storms off.

Switchblade Jay White defeated Rush in the Continental Classic Gold League

(If you like chops, have I got the match for you, as this match was dominated with loud chop exchanges throughout. Whenever he’d compete in the G1, White would always find a way to cheat to win and I think this Continental Classic will be no different as it worked for him tonight. I of course see this blowing up in his face when it’s all said and done.)

White came to the ring with The Gunns and they all acted shocked when learning there’s no one allowed ringside. Rush hit an early shoulder block and dropkick with White on the ropes early, being forced to regroup on the outside. White bailed on a dive, but Rush completely starched him with a chop, launching him into the railing. Rush wanted to choke White with cable chords, but referee Paul Turner put a stop as it would’ve led to a DQ. A chop battle back inside led to Rush winning the exchange and hit the pump fake kick before shooting a LIJ pose into commercial.

White took control during break, but it was short lived, as Rush hit a flying forearm and Three Amigos for the near fall. Rush took a very long time to follow up and missed a top rope senton leading to a White brainbuster for two of his own. White mocked Rush by doing a bullfighter pose, which led to another slugfest before White targeted the eyes. Rush hit a pump knee, but ran right into a Uranage for two. Rush chopped his way out of Blade Runner and hit a snap German, only for White to catch a kick into a dragon screw. White ran into an overhead corner throw, as Rush hit a Superman elbow, wanted Bulls Horns, but White fired out, looked for Blade Runner, only to nearly collide with the referee. This allowed White to hit a low blow on Rush and hit a Blade Runner for the victory.

**********

-Footage of Ricky Starks & Big Bill attacking Chris Jericho after the Full Gear media scrum is shown, slamming a crate into the injured arm of Jericho.

The WrestleAunts, RJ City & Renee Paquette are on the stage with an envelope in hand to announce the winner of the AEW Women’s Title, Timeless Toni Storm, who was in the crowd with Luther like it was an award show. Mariah May brought out the title to Storm, who put on her reading glasses before reading her speech. Storm thanked Anthony Khan, Jack Warner, whoever trained her, the women in the locker room, the little Toni Storm’s who want to be her, as this is her spotlight and they will not take it. Storm tells them to stay in school before Standing Ovation flashes on the big screen. I loved how right when Storm started her speech, she was played off, but told them to cut the music. Skye Blue’s music interrupted, as she made her way to the ring for our upcoming match, with Storm looking insulted.

**********

Skye Blue defeated Ruby Soho (w/Saraya) and Anna Jay (w/Matt Menard & Angelo Parker)

(Taz said whenever there’s love, there’s issues and that’s what happened with Soho & Parker and their continuing flirtatious storyline. Menard & Saraya tried to reel them in, but to no avail, as Blue was able to pick up the pieces and get the win in her hometown.)

All ladies tried pinfalls before Soho was sent into the ropes face to face with Parker. Soho was launched outside, as Jay & Blue had a back and forth before Soho reasserted herself in the action with a Saito suplex on Blue. Parker tripped up Blue, allowing Jay to hit a wheel kick and post Blue in the process. Jay demanded Parker focus and stop making eyes at Soho before the match went to commercial.

We returned to a powerbomb superplex tower of doom with Jay scurrying to get the pin, but only managed two. Soho & Jay were sent outside, as Blue missed a baseball slide and was tossed into the barricade by Soho. Parker walked in and made eyes at Soho before both were pulled away by Menard & Saraya. This led to Jay clocking Soho with a pump kick before back inside, Blue hit a cross body on both ladies. Blue tried Code Blue, but Jay countered into a slam for two. Menard tripped up Soho and it led to Saraya & Menard arguing. Meanwhile, a pump kick sent Soho into the arms of Parker, as Saraya & Menard scolded them both. Blue escaped Queenslayer and hit a pretty sloppy TKO to get the win.

-Renee Paquette approaches Wardlow working out backstage for his thoughts on the Worlds End main event. Paquette asks what he is waiting for with MJF and Wardlow said the downfall of the devil will happen on his time. AR Fox walks up and said Wardlow is putting the blame on everyone else and he did the same thing with Darby Allin, but Wardlow said he doesn’t need advice from anyone and dropped Fox.

Jon Moxley defeated Mark Briscoe in the Continental Classic Gold League

(Even with the slight overrun, I still wish this match would’ve gone longer, as these two beat the crap out of one another. The crowd was loudly behind Briscoe, but was more than fine with Moxley coming out the winner in this very fun main event.)

These two wasted no time going back and forth immediately, with Briscoe firing off some Redneck Kung Fu leading to a dropkick through the ropes outside followed with a Blockbuster off the apron. Moxley avoided a Froggy Bow and started a forearm exchange, ultimately booting Briscoe off the apron to the floor going to picture in picture.

During the break, Moxley busted Briscoe open as crossface punches led to a piledriver for a near fall. Briscoe battled back with an enzugiri and thrust chop before firing up, running wild. Moxley exploded out of the corner, but ran into an overhead Briscoe throw. Moxley countered a neckbereaker into a choke, transitioning into an arm breaker, but Briscoe got the ropes. Moxley cut off Briscoe in the ropes, as Briscoe bit Moxley, but dove right into the Paradigm Shift, which Briscoe no sold into a dropkick for the double down. Briscoe connected on a rolling Death Valley Driver and the Froggy Bow for two.

Briscoe decked a charging Moxley with a lariat, wanted a Jay Driller, but Moxley hit a King Kong Lariat of his own before hitting Death Rider, but Briscoe kicked out. The crowd went wild for Briscoe, who kicked off the ropes in a choke for a near fall. Moxley hit a half and half, but Briscoe rolled to his feet into a forearm battle. Moxley cut off the momentum with a kitchen sink, Curb Stomp and another Death Rider to get the victory in a hard hitting main event. Moxley showed respect after and shook hands with Briscoe, standing tall to end the show.

NAG posted:

IcePhoenix posted:

Dacap posted:

dsriggs posted:

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Hey everyone I made a meme

dsriggs posted:

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

if these trends continue...

fez_machine posted:

Elephant Ambush posted:

Vandar posted:

Hefty Leftist posted:

explosivo posted:

Eat My Fuc posted:

shout out abroham lincoln’s pic

MorningMoon posted:

reposting here because i'm too proud of this edit lol

smarxist posted:

neoaxd posted:

https://voca.ro/1e1fv1DWQmL7

Gambit from the X-Men posted:

i got my mom to cross-stitch something for my spouse's birthday. i thought you all would like it.

DeathChicken posted:

Show was mainly the heels all trying to outfuck each other, which is interesting and never really happens

DeathChicken posted:

Show was mainly the heels all trying to outfuck each other, which is interesting and never really happens

neoaxd posted:

me whenever daddy magic and saraya are on their bullshit:

Jerusalem posted:

Loving the C2 already, and also wrestling is a land of contrasts so I'm both hype for the great wrestling but also for Christian's batshit Patriarchy stuff, as well as Daddy Magic and Saraya being committed to the notion of preventing their best friends from loving.

Okkult posted:

Mark can still win.

Erin M. Fiasco posted:

Man, that episode flew by for me. Any part I was colder on (the non-Joe parts of the MJF were corny) didn't last too long and the things I loved were in full force. The C2 is off to a great start. But I'm going to probe Mox every day until Mark Briscoe gets more points than him

That Christian/Adam Copeland segment, though, what a treat.

DeepDickPizza posted:

The people love Swerve.

Dimebags Brain posted:

Know it's only one night in but kinda disappointed in the C2 so far. Obvious winners and none of the matches blew me away like we get for a G1 or King of Gate opening night.

Also it would be nice to know what the matches are for Minneapolis next week so I can see if I want to go or not. Last time through here they promoted the poo poo out of the show.

Dimebags Brain posted:

Know it's only one night in but kinda disappointed in the C2 so far. Obvious winners and none of the matches blew me away like we get for a G1 or King of Gate opening night.

Also it would be nice to know what the matches are for Minneapolis next week so I can see if I want to go or not. Last time through here they promoted the poo poo out of the show.

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

We just had another month added on to the Devil reveal

STONE COLD 64 posted:

i dont think its happening until revolution at the earliest

Fart Radio posted:

the devil is very obviously jack perry, which i'm alright with

Fart Radio posted:

the devil is very obviously jack perry, which i'm alright with