Jerusalem posted:

I love pro-wrestling so much, it's so loving great

quote:

AEW Dynamite comes on the air with Excalibur welcoming us alongside Tony Schiavone and Taz as we immediately go to big fight entrances for our opening contest to see who will get the AEW World Title shot at Revolution against Samoa Joe.

Swerve Strickland (w/Prince Nana) vs. Hangman Adam Page ended in a Time Limit Draw

(A whole heck of a lot happened here folks, as this was one of the best Dynamite openers in a very long time. The pace was slow to start, but it really built up over time and the crowd only got more and more into it. I’m glad they only mentioned the time limit once and didn’t do any countdowns, as the finish felt like it came out of nowhere. Post match really made Page feel like the heel, trying to weasel his way out of having to go any longer than he needed. I don’t know why he was ranked ahead of Strickland to begin with, seeing as Strickland has more wins over him, but that’s a whole other Rankings argument I’ll leave others to have. Regardless, it’s the finish we all expected and Revolution should be one hell of a World Title match.)

With the intense history these two have had, I was surprised by the standard lock ups that started this match. Strickland shot a double leg and both men spilled to the floor and over the barricade. Back in the ring, Page briefly controlled with strikes until Strickland delivered a big boot to gain the advantage. Page answered with a fall away slam and kip up, taking in more jeers than cheers from the crowd as he delivered ground and pound. Strickland bit at the thumb and applied an Octopus Hold, tried to snap the arm back, but Page escaped and hit a springboard lariat to the neck on the apron. Page slowly picked apart Strickland both outside and back in the ring, as finally Strickland fought back with corner chops until a gut punch and low dropkick got Page a two. Page wanted his top rope moonsault to the floor, but Strickland moved, Page landed on his feet and ran into a rolling Flatliner from Strickland. After a head of steam, Strickland hit a leaping back flip dive over the top to the floor, as back inside, Strickland delivered an uppercut to the spine.

House Call connected, but Page kicked out, as both men fought into the corner, with Page trying a sunset flip powerbomb, but Strickland backflipped out, landing right on his head in the process and hit a spin kick to the head. Strickland wanted a JML Driver, but Page spun out into a Liger Bomb for two. Page, getting booed loudly now, tried a Buckshot, but Strickland dodged and hit a Buckshot of his own, followed by a Swerve Stomp for a close two. Page rolled outside and ate a Strickland pump kick, as Strickland wanted a piledriver while balancing on the guard rail, but Page countered into a DDT on the barricade to head to picture in picture.

During break, Page set up a table ringside and things returned to both men trading big boots before crumbling simultaneously. After laughing in Page’s face from the strikes thrown, Strickland answered with a back breaker and hung up Page in a Tree of Woe facing the outside of the ring. Strickland delivered a Swerve Stomp, as Page rolled to the table, which collapsed, so Strickland went and set up another. Strickland tried a 450 back inside, but Page got the knees up, as Justin Roberts announced 5 minutes remaining. Page skinned the cat and leveled Strickland with a lariat before a Buckshot turned Strickland inside out, but a foot on the rope broke the pin. Page connected with Dead Eye on the apron and told Paul Turner to count Strickland out. Knowing that he was asked not to get involved, Prince Nana just started dancing frantically and this seemed to help Strickland break the count at 9.

Page hit a baseball slide, grabbed a chair and screamed at Strickland to stay down, but decked Nana instead. The attention turned allowed Strickland to capitalize and hit the Swerve Stomp flush, but clutched his ankle in the process. Strickland tried a JML Driver, but Page rolled out and wrenched at the ankle. Both fought to the apron again and this time, Strickland hit Dead Eye through the table. Somehow both made it back in the ring, as Strickland wanted a third Swerve Stomp, but Page moved and Strickland collapsed. Page wanted a Buckshot, but Strickland dodged and hit the JML Driver, but the time limit expired right at the two count. The fans couldn’t believe it, they were furious. Strickland took the mic and demanded 5 more minutes, as Page was laughing, saying it was Strickland who needed to beat him to become number one contender, but didn’t do it. Page said Strickland won’t become World Champion. Tony Schiavone stood up and said he received word from Tony Khan that there are 2 Number One Contenders and it’ll be a Triple Threat at Revolution for the AEW World Title. Page was furious and stormed to the back, while Strickland smiled.

**********

-Renee Paquette was backstage with Samoa Joe, asking for his thoughts on what just happened. Joe said acted happy at first, but was furious that this happened, saying both men will suffer because of this.

Timeless Toni Storm (w/Luther & Mariah May) defeated Red Velvet

(This was a pretty basic match, as Storm sent a message to her Revolution challenger that her submission game can’t be counted out.)

Deonna Purrazzo joined commentary for this contest, as Velvet tried a fast start, connecting on a leg lariat and chops in the corner. Velvet opted to play to the crowd and Storm answered with a Thesz Press and Sky High for two. Mariah May admired Storm keeping Velvet grounded throughout the entire commercial break. Velvet mounted her comeback with corner strikes and another leg lariat before a cazadora bulldog led to double knees to the back in the ropes. Velvet tried a corner charge, but Storm swept the leg, sending Velvet face first into the buckle. Storm followed with a violent Sweet Cheek Music and DDT, but Velvet kicked out. Slow to follow, Storm nearly got rolled up for two, as Velvet missed a corkscrew kick and Storm sank in an ankle lock, while staring down Purrazzo. Velvet tapped, as Storm refused to let the hold go, causing Purrazzo to leave commentary to have a face off. Storm kissed Purrazzo on the cheek before Luther stepped in between and ushered Storm to the back with May.

-Renee Paquette is backstage with Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta & Rocky Romero, asking Cassidy about wrestling Tomohiro Ishii on Collision after having a 6 Man Tag on Rampage. Cassidy said he’ll be fine, as Paquette asked about how Chuck Taylor is doing, with Cassidy saying Chuckie T is there tonight, he’s getting checked on by doctors. Paquette requested they all bring it in for a handshake and everyone awkwardly obliged and left the shot. This was the exact kind of awkwardness you’d expect from a Cassidy promo.

**********

Jon Moxley, Bryan Danielson & Claudio Castagnoli defeated Mascara Dorada, Volador Jr. & Hechicero

(I really enjoyed this clash of styles and by the looks of it; this is just the start of the BCC vs. CMLL feud. I liked how into this match the crowd was as well. The finish certainly builds to a rematch or series of matches, as Castagnoli got the win, by any means necessary.)

Mistico is seated in the front row along with Star Jr. & Esfinge, as Danielson & Hechicero picked up where they left off on Collision. Hechicero applied a rolling bow and arrow, Danielson escaped and Hechicero got a rolling cradle for two. Castagnoli & Dorada tagged in and had a face off that showed off Castagnoli’s size advantage, which Dorada didn’t care about, as he threw fastball chops. After trying to use his speed, Castagnoli was sent outside with an impressive head scissors, but stepped aside before Dorada could even attempt a dive. Moxley & Volador came in and immediately slugged it out, before each connected on a Tope. After each connected on the move, they had boots put to them by the others teammates as things went to commercial.

When things returned, Castagnoli had Volador in a Giant Swing before Moxley made the tag and got a quick two count. Moxley poured on the offense before Volador dodged a lariat and hit a thrust kick to make the hot tag to Dorada. After getting hung up in the ropes, Dorada hit a double arm drag on Moxley & Danielson before launching off Moxley’s back to drop Danielson with a head scissors. An incredible spinning head scissors sent Castagnoli out to the floor with his teammates, as Hechicero & Volador hit stereo Topes before Dorada followed with a Shooting Star off the middle rope. Hechicero dropped Danielson with the spinning hammerlock into the back breaker, as Dorado followed with a 450 for two. Moxley & Castagnoli returned to clean house, but Dorada hit a wild up and over Code Red on Castagnoli for two as well.

Volador dropped Moxley with a thrust kick and backstabber, but Danielson was there to follow with a Busaiku Knee. Hechicero flew in with a diving lariat before a chop battle with Castagnoli ensued. Cazadora was blocked, but Hechicero hit a spinning leg submission, which Danielson broke up. Hechicero tried to wrap up Danielson with a Stretch Muffler, but Moxley made the save. The match continued to break down until Hechicero hit a spinning guillotine legdrop on Castagnoli for two. Castagnoli sent Hechicero into the ref and it allowed Castagnoli to hit a low blow and get the roll up for the win.

Post match, Mistico, Star Jr. & Esfinge came in the ring for a face off, but with BCC outnumbered, Matt Sydal, Christopher Daniels, Matt Menard & Angelo Parker ran out to even the odds with all 12 men staring each other down.

-We go backstage to Chuck Taylor being laid out by The Undisputed Kingdom, as Adam Cole said “Get Well Soon, Chuck.” Clearly Cole still holds a grudge over Taylor making fun of him all those years on PWG commentary. If I were Excalibur, I’d be scared he’s next.

**********

Tony Khan’s Big Announcement

Khan is backstage and said fans might have heard earlier today that AEW Dynamite is coming to the TD Garden in Boston on March 13. On that important night, it will be AEW Big Business. It will be one of the most important nights in AEW history and one the entire pro wrestling industry will remember. Tickets go on sale this Saturday.

Konosuke Takeshita (w/Don Callis & Powerhouse Hobbs) submitted Chris Jericho

(Some of the bumps in this match were rough, as there were times Jericho’s head really snapped or bounced off the mat. It’s a big win for Takeshita, as I have no idea where Jericho goes from here in his feud with Callis, as it’s Guevara who is set up to face Hobbs next. Speaking of, Hobbs’ back is so large; why Guevara needed a chair shot to the head in this one instead of just multiple shots to the back is beyond me. It even got a groan from Tony Schiavone on commentary.)

After trading shoulder tackles, Jericho connected on a stiff forearm, clotheslining Takeshita to the floor. Callis, showing tough love, slapped Takeshita to wake him up, as Jericho flew in on the attack. Takeshita promptly turned the tables and was relentless, dropping Jericho with a brainbuster on the floor. The crowd cheered Takeshita, who hit a second rope senton back inside, following it with a Takeshita-line. Jericho went up and over in the corner and connected on a double axe handle, but Hobbs tripped the leg, allowing Takeshtia to regain control. Hobbs was then cracked with a chair in the back by Sammy Guevara, no selling it, as Guevara hit a Cutter off the apron. Hobbs stumbled around and Guevara decked him with a brutal unprotected chair shot to the head and both fought through the crowd to the back. Jericho sent Takeshita to the floor and put on the Demon mask that Takeshita wears before trying a dive. Problem was, Jericho couldn’t see where Takeshita was and just barely clipped him.

Back from break, Takeshtia delivered a sit out F-5 and violent running boot that sent Jericho’s head snapping against the ropes. Takeshita followed with an over the top dive outside before back inside, Takeshita wanted a top rope senton, but Jericho got the knees up. Jericho wanted the Lionsault, but Takeshita got knees up of his own. Forearm battle ensued, as Jericho attempted the Walls of Jericho, which Takeshita rolled through, tried a Crunchy, but mistimed it and both landed awkwardly. Thankfully, the follow up wheelbarrow German landed flush. Takeshita-line was countered into a Code Breaker, as Jericho hit the bulldog, but Takeshita countered a Lionsault into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Both men blocked home run shots until Jericho tried a corner hurricanrana, which Takeshita slipped out of and hit an Avalanche Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Jericho’s head really bounced off the apron.

Takeshita hit the Power Drive knee and tried another, but Jericho blocked it into the Walls of Jericho. Callis threw a chair in the ring to distract the ref, as with the attention turned, Callis popped Jericho with the screwdriver. Takeshita locked in the Walls of Jericho and Jericho almost faded with the arm dropping twice, so Takeshita switched to a Lion Tamer and Jericho immediately tapped.

**********

Sting & Darby Allin defeated Ricky Starks & Big Bill to win the AEW Tag Team Titles in a Tornado Tag

(This was exactly what you’d expect from a Sting & Allin Tornado Tag, as we got insane Allin bumps, the age defying dive from Sting and the crowd were into it every step of the way. The story here was Starks had a brief moment of respect for Sting at the absolute worst time, as the hesitation cost he & Bill the titles. I’m not sure where they go from here, but I really enjoyed their work as a tag team and hope this isn’t the end for them. As for the post match, the idea to have The Bucks wear white suits and Allin’s blood cover it to end the show was a perfect visual for the heels. Sting will be hell bent for revenge not just for Allin, but for The Bucks attacking his sons as well.)

Sting hugged his children that are seated in the front row for the upcoming main event. Bell sounded and Bill immediately slammed Allin into the guard rail in front of Sting’s family, while Sting & Starks brawled into the crowd, but Sting disappeared after some time. As Bill & Starks beat up Allin, we saw Sting appear in the balcony and did what’s become his signature dive onto the pile. At 64 years old, Sting was up first as things went to picture in picture.

When things returned, Sting hit a Stinger Splash against the barricade on Bill, who no sold and just ran through Sting. Allin tried a Tope on Bill, who caught Allin in mid air with a Boss Man Slam, which looked visually incredible. Back in the ring, Bill lifted Allin up in a choke before just slamming him down, bouncing Allin’s head off the mat like a ball until throwing Allin clear over his head. Bill & Starks set up a table ringside, as Starks called for Bill to press slam Allin through it, but Sting made the save, fighting off both men. Sting ran wild, ultimately dodging a Bill big boot, crotching the big man in the process. Starks snuck up from behind and laid out Sting with a Scorpion Death Drop, as Allin broke up the pin. Allin & Starks slugged it out before Starks backflipped out of the corner and tweaked his ankle.

Sting & Allin traded Stinger & Coffin Splashes on Bill in the corner before a Code Red and follow up Coffin Drop to the floor by Allin connected on Bill. Starks missed an enzugiri on Sting, who locked in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Bill appeared in the frame, with Allin on his back in a sleeper. Bill made it to the apron before Allin spun around, gouged the eyes and both fell through the set up table. Starks got the ropes, but Tornado Tag means no breaks, as Sting still let the hold go. Sting tried a Stinger Splash, but Starks moved and Sting hit the exposed buckle. Starks briefly hesitated, as Sting fired up and Starks hit the Spear for a close two. Starks tried another Spear, but ran into a Scorpion Death Drop and Sting got the win.

Post match, Sting’s sons hop the rail and celebrate with their father on the apron, as Starks is looking very dejected. Taz asks what this means, as Sting is set to retire next month as confetti rains down until Matthew & Nicholas Jackson appear in white suits and matching baseball bats. The Young Bucks laid out Sting, Allin and both of Sting’s sons, as Allin is split opened and the blood is all over The Bucks suits as they hit a BTE Trigger, which has been renamed to EVP Trigger. After more bat shots to the ribs of Sting, The Bucks stood tall, as commentary said no one came out to help since The Bucks are EVPs and they must fear for their jobs. The Bucks hold up the AEW Tag Team Titles in their blood covered suits to end the show. Excalibur told us The Bucks’ reputation is officially destroyed.

NAG posted:

IcePhoenix posted:

Dacap posted:

dsriggs posted:

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Hey everyone I made a meme

dsriggs posted:

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

if these trends continue...

fez_machine posted:

Elephant Ambush posted:

Vandar posted:

Hefty Leftist posted:

explosivo posted:

Eat My Fuc posted:

shout out abroham lincoln’s pic

MorningMoon posted:

reposting here because i'm too proud of this edit lol

smarxist posted:

neoaxd posted:

https://voca.ro/1e1fv1DWQmL7

Gambit from the X-Men posted:

i got my mom to cross-stitch something for my spouse's birthday. i thought you all would like it.

Captain Foo posted:

Big business is coming

Hellblazer187 posted:

Hanger wins the world title as a heel, aligned with the Bucks, right?

Barry Bluejeans posted:

I kinda doubt it, still feels like Swerve is winning and that's what makes Hanger snap and go full heel

DLC Inc posted:

Fantastic show but I need Jericho and Callis to gently caress off and leave Takeshita alone, let this man cook. Dude is too godlike to be stuck in this vortex

Suplex Liberace posted:

Swerve will pin joe and drive hangman crazy

Barry Bluejeans posted:

I kinda doubt it, still feels like Swerve is winning and that's what makes Hanger snap and go full heel

Kvantum posted:

Don't put that mojo into the Universe at all. Swerve or we riot.

I mean, yes, the money is in the chase, but still, just, no. Swerve's time is now.

Captain Foo posted:

EVP trigger

A Fancy Hat posted:

Bucks’ white suits getting stained with blood is a hell of a visual and whoever came up with that one needs a raise.

Writer Cath posted:

Hear me out on this - Hangman wins, Swerve takes it off him at Wembley.

Kvantum posted:

Swerve wins, Ospreay takes it off him at Wembley.

Paying2Lurk posted:

YOUNG BUCKS GO HOME!

Paying2Lurk posted:

YOUNG BUCKS GO HOME!

UnleashedDad posted:

I think ultimately the best move is to have Swerve pin Hangman in insanely bullshit way to drive him more insane. Righteous heels are the best. It's just gonna be weird cause Hangman is the protagonist of AEW but let's give it a shot.

The Notorious ZSB posted:

I would like Purazzo to take the title at the pape.