Grey Cat posted:

"Hey Elizabeth"

Oh hey:
Adolf and Eva,
Usagi and Mamoru,
etc.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Nothin' in the rule book that says you can't commemorate Big John on a Tuesday

DemoneeHo posted:

I told my girlfriend I used an AI dating bot to chat with her. She blocked me. Next steps?

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

yta what was the point in putting up the notice, all you're doing is antagonising your neighbours. just saying no in person to anyone who asked would have been fine, could have said "sorry we're full" or whatever. explicitly making it about people in her building was a really dumb move and she's just put herself even further down everyone's poo poo-list

idiotsavant posted:

He should buy a good set of calipers & take careful measurements of his grandfathers skull so he can find out if he comes from superior genetic stock

Pyroi posted:

My dude, why did you not leave earlier

commenter posted:

You need to stop bending over backwards to make this relationship work, and start accepting the reality of the situation - that you have a partner who does not treat you that well and a relationship that is deeply unsatisfying to you.

OP posted:

I've come to that conclusion over the past year, but I wanted to make this work. Also the logistics of breaking up is going to be hard since she lives in my house and none of her family members are willing to take her back in especially since she has 4 dogs, 2 cats, and no vehicle/license.

wheatpuppy posted:

If we follow the "everyone is fatter than you imagine" rule, it might even be possible that he really wasn't that drunk? Like, he weighs over 600 pounds, and has a liver the size of a small horse.

Extra Large Marge posted:

Hello, these are my children, Jezebel and Kotaku

Hughlander posted:

AITA for returning gifts to my family and asking them to leave after they insulted my daughter's name?

quote:

They told me I should have been more honest about the name earlier

quote:

I had told my family during my pregnancy that I was not using Agatha or Agnes or an A name for my baby. I told them more than once in fact. For some reason they decided Agatha would be the name.

Larry Cum Free posted:

"I'm really impressed that so many people in senior leadership positions at this company are women. Speaking of the company of women, that's something my wife enjoys."

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

It was really classless of you to ruin your own reception that we planned to ruin first

quote:

The photographer had been sent home, apparently my brother and his wife did their photos before the ceremony. And took some with the few people who did know they were skipping the reception. Some of their friends and his wife's dad and his wife. But no one else including anyone from my family.

My parents were angry and they talked to the friend because my brother and his wife weren't answering. Their honeymoon was supposed to be in a few months. Apparently they cancelled it two weeks ago and switched to a different honeymoon. They were already on their way to Bristol to the airport and had left their mobile phones with their friend, he had them when my parents talked to him.

Hughlander posted:

I've been thinking about it a bit and since it was over text and all I'd love to reply, "Out of curiosity, was your sister home when your gf texted to break up with you?" I can totally see from the text that the sister and GF concocted the whole thing and were together writing the texts.

emSparkly posted:

I would bet the parents have the means to save their own house and are being entitled boomers who want their kid to take care of them forever. Complete buffoonery.

house of the dad posted:

I will only accept being divorced slowly and at a comfortable pace

Midnight Voyager posted:

wait what's this about miscarriages??

FMguru posted:

Age-gap creep faces righteous mom anger.

AITAH for exposing my bestfriend's boyfriend to his own mom because he's a chronic cheater? And now his family hates him

"I genuinely hate him and want him to suffer" - OP was not playing around (and good for her).

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Someone saying "You're making me look bad" whenever they're being bad makes me laugh every time.

Don't want to look bad? Simple solution. Don't be bad. Problem solved!

Runcible Cat posted:

r/relationships: what exactly did you think the butt was going to do to you?

quote:

She really wants to go back to the place where only she liked the food. (Even though they hosed up her order several times in the past!)

big black turnout posted:

This is unfortunately pretty common from what I've seen.

Mordiceius posted:

oh jay posted:

TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAwyWkksXuo

TIFU - Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT and now our relationship has ended

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITA for reporting my PhD advisor’s really cruel prank to my university?

wheatpuppy posted:

First date was interesting to say the least

The Alchemist posted:

AITA for being mad my bf won't make noodles the way I like

quote:

So, tiny bit of backstory, my girlfriend of 6 months loves horses, has all her life. An additional, seemingly relevant point is, during sex, she sometimes says stuff like ‘f*** me with that horse cock’. I’ve never thought much of it, I thought that was just a way of her saying it’s big. But she’s started to take it further and it’s turned into a bit of a fetish that I’m not entirely comfortable with. A few days ago, she told me she wanted to roleplay, and at first I was pretty on board, but then she said as horses. I laughed, thinking it was a joke and she took it the wrong way, and said she was tired and then went to sleep. I said gently caress it and, trying to make her feel better, said I’d do it the following day. Honestly it was okay but very, very weird, she got so into it and said it was the best she ever had, and next time wanted to buy costumes, and maybe do it on some hay. I told her no, and I didn’t want to do it again and she’s back to being mad at me. Am I being a dick here? I don’t know what to do. Sorry if wrong sub, just wanted a second opinion.

quote:

[Update]

Hi guys, thank you for all the responses, even if 90% of them were puns. I can appreciate the funny side of this, so it's all good.

I saw my GF last night at her place and we talked about things. She apologised for being distant and I apologised if I kink shamed her (as some said I did). She said she's unsure where her attraction comes from but did say she had her first sexual experience on a horse.

The thing is I'm getting older and need to reproduce. In every other way, she is perfect and would make a great mother to my children. We've only been together 6 months but I haven't felt this way since I first met my ex wife.

Maybe I'm crazy but I've ordered a horse mask and a dragon dildo off Amazon to surprise her. She keeps saying how glad she is that she doesn't have to keep it a secret anymore. In a way, I'm glad too and honestly I'm surprised I didn't realise sooner, now I get why she always calls me her stallion. Yeah it's a weird situation but, who knows, maybe I'll grow to like it. I know people were making fun of the age gap, what can I say, grandpa wants to get his dick wet . In seriousness, I'm getting too old to be picky so I think we're gonna make it work.

Shanghaied posted:

Fil5000 posted:

I would like to see it in the style of an Oceans movie. All star cast, unexpected twist and all.

Halloween Jack posted:

Just in case anyone was wondering why he never formed a loving relationship with the woman who raised him from a young age. But you were all probably expecting something like this.

Elfface posted:

No you don't. Evidence: A new general manager was brought in from out of state, not promoted from among the workers.

quote:

I also put in a lot of work with a bunch of my coworkers over a month long period to perfect a system that would help everyone out, and would make everything nice and organized. We put it all together in a document, and went to my GM with it. He took it to corporate, and they gave us the all clear.

Shanghaied posted:

Okay this has to be a joke:

WIBTAH For Throwing out my Boyfriend’s “Poop Spear''?

JackSplater posted:

Global Thermopooplear War

FMguru posted:

Always a good sign when someone kicks off a relationship with a lovely little power play.

AITAH For dumping my date

Attempted negging backfires, good on OP for stiffening his spine and ghosting her.

mystes posted:

She seems to be saying that the daughter in law is moving too fast in trying to build a relationship with her and violating her boundaries, essentially. There isn't enough information in the post to determine if that is accurate or OP just refuses to build any sort of relationship with the DIL at all, so I think it doesn't make sense to condemn OP on that basis without more information.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Anyway, content:

AITA for not going to another restaurant after my boyfriend refused to order from where I stopped?

Huh wtf guy, why don't you wanna eat Mexican food-

Call Your Grandma posted:

poop dagger

spookykid posted:

basically holding onto one "branch" (relationship) while swinging and grabbing onto the next one.

Kurieg posted:

AITAH for starting a fight at a wedding because a girl tried to see what was under my brother's kilt

FMguru posted:

I wonder what his forums name is?

AITA for asking my partner to stop fidgeting with his balls?

Mordiceius posted:

This has big "SHE SUCC ME" energy.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Tell me you’re not accustomed to public transportation without saying it

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

You'll get busted when they're looking for a loose button.

coronatae posted:

Red polo and khakis would make me think "fresh off a shift at Target"

Also there's no way he'd make a kool-aid joke, it was flavor aid

Hughlander posted:

More great pranks!

AITA for asking my boyfriend to leave me alone because of him and his mother?