Jack Del Huevos posted:

Spiderfist Island posted:

Stylites were hermits that lived on the top of huge-rear end columns who would be fed by other monks or laypeople, but the practice was mostly in Late Antiquity rather than the Medieval period and really only occurred in the Greek Orthodox / Near Eastern sphere of the world.

quote:

Roger Collins, in his Early Medieval Europe, tells us that in some cases two or more pillar saints of differing theological viewpoints could find themselves within calling distance of each other, and would argue with one another from their columns.

Nothus posted:

And that's where we got the term "posting" from.

GWBBQ posted:

" Around 90 percent of human prion diseases seem to arise spontaneously;"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“The neuropathology, replication potency, and biophysical profiling suggest that a novel, particularly neurotoxic human prion strain was created,”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Syd Midnight posted:

Ah, so they can be inhaled in powdered form? Does anyone know what would happen if weaponized prions in a carrier medium were dispersed by explosive munitions? Sorry if this ofends anyone I just thought that would be a funny thing haha. Is there any data on the environmental persistence or median lethal concentration of airborne replicating neural proteins in particles per square meter? I just want to see it for a few laughs ha ha. Another thing I am wondering is whether they have a detectable odor haha I am just curious for laughs haha

StandardVC10 posted:

Is "trying to invent a new biological weapon" something you can get banned for in PYF? I mean, the rules don't say you can't, but...

beep-beep car is go posted:

From the Dangerous Chemistry thread about human Prions created in a lab.

quote:

12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Check for yourself if you don’t believe me. Where have they gone to?

There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I’m uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he’d be just as gone as them. There’s no cause for alarm.

Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It’s a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don’t think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer’s eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world.


Aeroplanes don’t exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven’t changed, but the atmosphere..

One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven.

Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar panel and ribbons of golden cloth. It’s a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We’ve given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire.

I’m starting to wish the Muslims were back.

We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they’re mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. “Look at how they wield their guns,” writes a man. “I always said he’d take our guns away.” They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife!

It’s long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can’t bring myself to blame him for it. He’s reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb…

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Anyone got the similarly-styled post about Trump and The Orb?

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

Riyadh- Controversy erupted amid the White House Press Corps today as White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer denied reports that President Donald Trump touched the dreadful Orb to gain its power.

“This is ridiculous. Donald Trump pledged to the American people that he would resist the beguiling siren song of the Orb, and he has done so. This is yet another distraction by the failed Democratic party trying to block President Trump’s Make America Great Again agenda.”

Hours later, President Trump tweeted “Yes- I touched the Orb. Obama wouldn’t listen to the song of the Orb. Big mistake! Insulted allies and the Orb!” When asked for comment, Spicer said “I think the President’s tweet speaks for itself.”

Op-ed, NYT: Once Again, President Trump Crosses a Red Line
…have we forgotten the lessons of the past so easily? Yes, the Orb’s melody is alluring and seductive, but the power it grants corrupts body and mind. Who can forget Dwight Eisenhower’s famous farewell speech, in which he warned of “the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Orb?” We cannot know the Orb’s true intentions for mankind, but it is all too easy to imagine that they are hostile and alien.
We say to Donald Trump: reject the politics of division! Reject hatred! And reject the Orb, for though its lambent glow soothes the mind, the terrible power that crackles across its surface will bring you no peace.

Op-ed, WSJ: Liberal Critics Overstate the Dangers of the Orb
…yes, we know the Orb may not have our best interests at heart, but we should trust the Orb to act rationally. It is in the best interests of the Orb, now that Donald Trump has been suffused with its vast might, to work for America, not against it. If we cannot trust the President of the United States to safeguard the might of the Orb, then who can we trust? An Orb Working Group, its members drawn from the elite across fields, will be able to strategize the best way to harness the Orb’s awful might and transform our society just as it has transformed Donald Trump’s living flesh into bitter, cold darkness.

Tweet, RealDonaldTrump account:
Haters and losers say that Orb cannot be trusted. I have absorbed Orb and will carry it within my soul! #MAGA!

8.2k replies 7.4k retweets 45k likes

posts from r/the_donald, thread entitled “INCREDIBLE: he touches the Orb! CUCKS BTFO!!!”
MAGA_MAN_X

fellow pedes i can’t believe he’s done it again!

volkisch1487

cucked SJWs at my school cant stop cryin about this, rofl

trumpinTN12

This is really Presidential. This is a breath of fresh air after 8 years of 0bungler.

Rachel Maddow, 6/27/17 broadcast (partial transcript)
…and his skin, it’s turned midnight black. I think I see rainbows moving across it, like an oil slick in sunlight. But just so you know, the White House is denying all of it. They’re denying that he’s taken on the Orb’s power, they’re denying that he’s grown to twelve feet tall, they’re denying that anything happened at all. Lightning struck the White House 452 times last night, according to meteorologists. This is not normal.

Tweet, LouiseMensch account
Sources have revealed to me that #orb was planted by #Russia, #Putin. Supreme Court preparing Articles of Exorcism as I write.

12 replies 180 retweets 100 likes

#Neverorb, Erick Erickson, Redstate.com
…the Republican Party used to stand for something greater than the pulsing Orb and its horrible keening drone. I remember that, even if the bootlickers in Congress don’t. The Orb has no regard for human life, not even the life of the unborn. Hey, Paul Ryan — why does your budget allocate $0 to faith-based family centers that offer alternatives to abortion, but $800 billion to a massive basalt monolith in the middle of Washington DC?

Sean Hannity show, 7/12/17
HANNITY: These liberals, they fear the Orb. They’re afraid of it.
GINGRICH: You know, it’s sad, it really is, because the Orb wants what’s best for America, for all of us, and-
HANNITY: Exactly! The Orb loves us! The Orb-
[crosstalk]
GINGRICH: It’s like I said in 1994, the American People don’t want big government. They want a vast, glowing Orb that swells up to block out the sun.

Bernie Sanders, speech, 8/16/17
…and I don’t think it’s right that President Trump now walks around outside for days at a time, plants wilting wherever he plants his massive feet. I don’t think it’s right that our President, a billionaire, gets to be twenty feet tall and exude an oily darkness while the regular, hard-working people of this country slave away for long hours for a minimum wage that’s not enough to feed a family. I don’t think it’s right that every night the pool at the foot of the massive basalt altar in DC — paid for with tax money, yours and mine — must be filled with sacrifices of blood, hair and teeth. Not when millionaires and billionaires pay less tax than at any time in the last century.

Barack Obama, GQ interview, 9/2/17
…I don’t want to sound overly critical. But when I was President, I didn’t touch the Orb, for a very good reason. And, you know, I wanted to. I could have easily. I heard it singing to me in my dreams, a song that melted away like morning dew when I awoke. And I could have… (he loses focus for a moment)
I could have touched it. But I didn’t. And I think that was the right choice for the American people, and when you look at the boiling cloud of gnats that used to be our President, I think you’ll agree with me.

Headline, Washington Post
CROP FAILURES ACROSS MIDWEST

Life Force Drained to Feed Orb’s “Endless, Terrible Hunger.”

Blog Post, fivethirtyeight.com
The Disappearance of the Upper Midwest in a Vortex of Madness Could Doom Trump’s Re-Election Chances

From “The Orbs of Our Fathers,” an essay by Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic
…I knew from the moment I saw it what the Orb was. I knew what it represented, even when others chose not to see. The Orb is America. The Orb is white supremacy, hatred and disregard, the disregard that communities of color face every day. The Orb is Donald Trump, and Donald Trump is the Orb. His body has evaporated, but we see him now reflected in puddles of oily rain, on our television screens, in our dreams. He is screaming, only screaming. That scream is the hate-cry of white supremacy, the message that never leaves us.

Why is the President Screaming: a special report by CBS News
JOHN DICKERSON: Experts say that that the power of the Orb may have consumed President Trump and now feeds on his soul. What does this mean for us as a Nation? Was it a mistake to touch the Orb?

REINCE PRIEBUS: No, John, not at all. These reports are yet more distractions from the liberal media. The President is deep in contemplation of the Orb’s mysteries. That’s why he isn’t seen outside these days.

JOHN DICKERSON: Do you have an explanation for why every reflective surface on Earth shows the President’s screaming visage at precisely 4:22 PM each day? Or why the great black Monolith of the Mall has cracked right down its face?

REINCE PRIEBUS: Listen, if you want to sit there and criticize every little thing the President does, you have that right. I can’t stop you. But frankly, it’s counterproductive, and it’s a little sad when the President’s agenda has been such a success. I mean, the crops are growing again, they’re-

JOHN DICKERSON: The farmers are saying that the crops are twisted and swollen with unholy power. They’re inedible. They’re useless.

REINCE PRIEBUS: We’re growing for export. We knew there would be resistance when we set out to make America great again, there will be hiccups, but…

Inaugural Statement from Mike Pence
…and in the weeks and months to come, we know there will be questions. Where is President Donald Trump? Why do we still hear him screaming, faintly, at the edge of our hearing? What has become of the baneful Orb that hung low in the sky like a second sun? My fellow Americans, I do not have all the answers for you. This should be a time for healing, a time for people of all faiths to come together and bow their heads in thankfulness that the Orb’s awful designs have been averted. I never expected or wanted this, but I solemnly swear to do my duty as your President, to heal a wounded nation, and to stand strong against the alien menace of the Orb wherever it threatens. I pledge that I will never touch the Orb or any other item of cosmic, unknowable power.

Alex Jones show, 11/25/17
…and he’s heading to Beijing next week for a summit. Can you believe that? We all know that they’ve recently unearthed a gleaming cube of alien metal from the ruins below Xi’an. What is the President hiding? Why won’t he tell us whether he plans to touch the Cube?

Krispy Wafer posted:

Some personal dumb marketing was that an old long dead relative of mine had a cola company in the 40's and 50's that existed primarily in the Southeast and Southwest. One of the flavors they sold was a drink called Jo-Jo's with a clown as it's mascot. All we have are old bottles (including a disgusting one that is still full of the stuff), but we recently came across an old ad from a trade magazine at the time. Looking at that old advertisement yesterday I thought something looked off.



Yeah, it's a stereo-typically racist characticture of a Black man advertising for a chocolate drink.

I can't wait to bring this up at Thanksgiving.

oldpainless posted:

Wonderful turkey mom. It's really good but heh what about THIS (whips blanket off an easel to reveal a picture of a clown)

Bobby Digital posted:

I think your mom would appreciate a self-portrait you gave her

DaveKap posted:

https://i.imgur.com/1FozZIq.mp4

Mister Kingdom posted:

Dare I make a goatse joke?

Geomancing posted:

What is that man doing to his angus?

Ariong posted:

https://twitter.com/Times_Of_Trend/status/912748382514446336?s=20

this broken hill posted:

get me in a room with these two monsters and i will effortlessly remove them from the karmic cycle with my fists and fangs. then i will pray for safe delivery of their souls to the one and only true deliverer of justice, jesus christ. a ray of sunlight plunges from heaven and skewers my lonely rear end in a top hat

Pastry of the Year posted:

much better than an owner of a broken rear end in a top hat

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

CheesyDog posted:

Hanging with rich people is fine but a guillotine is a lot more efficient

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Does anyone know the original context and/or poster for the "the Muslims have vanished" post? It is possibly the greatest work of art of which I know nothing.

Solice Kirsk posted:

With modern drugs you can just slip into a beautiful dream and wake up a mother.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Ah yes, the Cosby method.

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

The Last Days of Capitalism thread, from LF. You may need archives, but there's plenty more where that came from here

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

That is an A+ thread and I appreciate the link, but the quote in question doesn't actually appear there at all.

Jenny Agutter posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3059951&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8

Jenny Agutter posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3059951&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Thank you!

Man, why did they ever shut LF down. Going by the goldmine, it was the best forum.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Thank you!

Man, why did they ever shut LF down. Going by the goldmine, it was the best forum.

Improbable Lobster posted:

Probably because of the whole "secret service got called on lowtax" thing

dadrips posted:

crows and all corvids are the best. I really like Australian magpies, they sound like wee robot dinosaurs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV4qZ_lgStw

Trig Discipline posted:

*extremely nerd voice* i'm sorry but Australian magpies are only corvOIDs, not corvids

Blast of Confetti posted:

plz dont birdshame

RyokoTK posted:

no true squawksman

Ghostlight posted:

SPERMCUBE.ORG posted:

I never got that far in Paperboy.

Lunethex posted:

Shouldn't those kinds of 'attacks' restore health?

OwlFancier posted:

No, coming out of a vagina is how you create life, ergo shoving someone back into a vagina kills them.

Keeshhound posted:

Man, you got a way different version of "the talk" than my folks gave me.

Breetai posted:

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

sorry to spoil the party nocoiners, but btc is not going below 6500 and heres why
i dont care how much FUD is shekelstein telling you to spread here.. heres the truth: at 6500 is not longer profitable to mine

it literally cant drop below that

dont be dumb, stop betting against math and science, swallow your pride and buy the dip

its never too late to jump into the rocket of infinite exponential growth

TraderStav posted:

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Dump it

darkwasthenight posted:

Posts consecutive in thread:

sneakyfrog posted:

a magical post thank you

FRIENDS FOREVER

quote:

summertime
and staten island is fuckin' SLEAZY
clove lakes park is gross
but when i'm stoned
it's NICE
and kinda BREEZY
a good place... for my dog
good places
wide open spaces
spaces... for my dog
spaces where he is FREE
to STOP and DROP his PEE
right next to a duck
he steps in mud
he eats a bug
he swats a turtle
he is a pug
a pug in wide open spaces
in skeevy staten island places
places where my pug can pee
he drinks from the stream
he pukes in the stream
frogs gently caress in that stream
man, gently caress that stream
gently caress that stream where my pug pukes and pees
sometimes in the park
i have to pee
but i can't
because some little kid might see
but kids don't care when pugs pee
pugs are free
free to pee
in all those
cool and nasty places

Gatekeeper posted:

one of my friends just sent me another slam poem i wrote and performed at open mic night in a whiskey/klonopin blackout, i wrote it out on a napkin at the bar and somehow the napkin ended up in her closet where she discovered it today, four years later:


edit: sorry, this was off topic threadwise but we have no "pyf slam poems you wrote whilst in a blackout" thread for some inconceivable reason

Gatekeeper posted:

one of my friends just sent me another slam poem i wrote and performed at open mic night in a whiskey/klonopin blackout, i wrote it out on a napkin at the bar and somehow the napkin ended up in her closet where she discovered it today, four years later:


edit: sorry, this was off topic threadwise but we have no "pyf slam poems you wrote whilst in a blackout" thread for some inconceivable reason

VanSandman posted:

Honestly better than most poetry I read in school.

Edit: Is there a goon poetry thing in the writing forum?

sneakyfrog posted:

if you dont have a train of thought thread on these forums i will be very disappointed

Gatekeeper posted:

one of my friends just sent me another slam poem i wrote and performed at open mic night in a whiskey/klonopin blackout, i wrote it out on a napkin at the bar and somehow the napkin ended up in her closet where she discovered it today, four years later:


edit: sorry, this was off topic threadwise but we have no "pyf slam poems you wrote whilst in a blackout" thread for some inconceivable reason

sneakyfrog posted:

if you dont have a train of thought thread on these forums i will be very disappointed