canyoneer posted:

singing the DuckTales theme song, but with dickfarts

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Please pee in my goonhole.

Karate Bastard posted:

It's called a well.

quote:

OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a goonhole!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should crawl towards the balls... should I crawl towards the balls?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a goonhole, and crawling towards the balls is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering catheters! Take hold of a catheter!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the catheter, but I don't want to hold onto it... should I crawl towards the balls?"
Goon10: "No! If you crawl towards the balls, you'll hit even more piss, or worse, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I crawled towards the balls a little bit just now, and I haven't hit piss or anything. I'm gonna keep crawling..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this goonhole! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a goonhole once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a transmitter that signalled for a nurse to use a catheter and I built it out of pieces of pipe cleaner and shards of a glass stirring rod. I'm dropping the blueprints, pipe cleaners, and an assortment of different sized stirring rods."
Goon20: "I've administered a diuretic that will piss you to safety. Stay where you are and it'll happen any minute!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep crawling towards the balls. I'll find the rear end in a top hat at some point and I'll just get pooped out."
**Goons1-20 piss in the goonhole**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the goonhole.""

Barudak posted:

Lovemetenderloin appears to be the physical manifestation of the thong industry.

Barudak posted:

I imagine Lovemetenderloin is a sentient thong, itself wearing a thong

TheScott2K posted:

Big Thong getting out there on social media

Barudak posted:

You could say this thong is the thing that finally split the crack in their relationship.

ArbitraryC posted:

Much like it did with your buttocks I'm afraid this thong has wedged itself between us. Goodbye.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Somewhere, Sir Mix a Lot perks up his ears.

Blade Runner posted:

Well we found Sisqo's Reddit account at least

zakharov posted:

gently caress you it's stuck in my head now

loquacius posted:

One beautiful day in 1999, an 11-year-old LoveMeTenderloin turned on his clock radio and heard a song that changed his worldview forever

Cosmik Slop posted:

James Bond, looking every inch the white man, stared Caucasianly across the table at Blofeld. "Tally ho, you rotter," he remarked, the melanin draining from his voice.

Howard Phillips posted:

What are Funk Pops used for? Idgi.

Real hurthling! posted:

You put them in your cubicle so that you arent the most depressing thing in there

lol but seriously I posted:

nothing about the sledge-o-matic was supposed to be erotic you absolute loving disgrace

Shanghaied posted:

Exactly, an administration deeply compromised by hostile foreign powers is taken down by the most American team of anti-heroes there is - a porn actress, a scumbag celebrity lawyer, a feckless attention-seeking reality-star, and a Long Island taxi medallion owner who also somehow went to the worst law school in America.

There's your new Suicide Squad reboot.

sebmojo posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who's the Long Island taxi medallion owner/poo poo law school grad? Michael Cohen?

Baron von Eevl posted:

I'm blanking on the celebrity lawyer. Also I think Giuliani deserves some credit, at least an assist.

Baron von Eevl posted:

I'm blanking on the celebrity lawyer. Also I think Giuliani deserves some credit, at least an assist.

1stGear posted:

Stormy Daniels, Michael Avenatti, Omarosa Manigault Newman, and Michael Cohen.

sebmojo posted:

Screaming Idiot posted:

Not to defend the lovely lunches, but maybe there's something less unhealthy they can't pack there as it needs refrigeration? Celery sticks? Everybody likes celery.

Even I like celery, and I have the eating habits of a vulture.

Scathach posted:

Miracle Whip isn't differently flavored mayo, its basically the mayo version of margarine. It's fake mayo gosh darn it. That's why it sucks. Margarine also loving sucks.

gently caress celery too, in case that was this thread.

Mr. Bad Guy posted:

I love how self-referential and masturbatory PFY can be sometimes.

From the AUG thread:



And in the IOSM thread:

Jose posted:

i googled "stardew valley murder mod" and this was one of the top results

Skypie posted:

I see Aatrek is interested in anything with "Star" in the title then

Farm Frenzy posted:

inviting a girl over for a threesome with your gf but then u accidentally take too much acid so you spend all night posting instead would be a really good 2005 E/N thread

there wolf posted:

Tip of the iceburg. VC Andrews has a bunch of series that all revolve around tragic deaths, incest, and the tragic deaths that result from not succumbing to your incestuous love.

Besesoth posted:

She also only actually wrote a handful of them; she died in the 80s of cancer, but her books were so profitable that her family hired ghost writers to keep writing and publishing under the VC Andrews name.

Barudak posted:

Not gonna lie, kind of dissapointed they didnt keep the ghostwriting in the family.

Atlas Hugged posted:

4:00 PM I'm allowed to leave school, technically, but none of the other teachers have left. Normally I don't care about their bizarre office culture of working themselves to death, but today I have been told I have to go to dinner with the other teachers.

5:00 PM I've been browsing the forums for an hour. The vice-principal is still on a phone call. A science teacher is asleep.

5:30 PM We have all loaded into various cars and are driving to the restaurant.

5:35 PM Oh we're here

5:36 PM My shoes are currently sitting in front of the rotting wooden steps of the restaurant. A woman has bowed no less than six times while walking backwards and gesturing towards a private room.

5:37 PM I am sitting on the floor

5:38 PM A man is shouting at me. I think he is the head of the math department. I've bowed and smiled, but he is getting louder.

5:42 PM I am sitting at a smaller table by myself. The shouting has ceased.

5:56 PM Two of the English teachers, faces already red, have each made me do a toast. I can smell meat grilling, but there is only lettuce at my table.

6:30 PM The head of math is currently chewing out two of his subordinates. I have been provisionally invited back to the main table by the music teacher. Every time she drinks, she covers her face and turns towards me. We make eye contact. She speaks no English. I drink more.

7:18 PM We have relocated to a local KTV. A small cart full of booze has been wheeled into the room. An entire bottle has been handed to me by the head of math. The head of English has told me it would be rude not to drink it. So I am.

8:15 PM The PE teacher has his arm around my back. We are singing, "Bridge Over Troubled Water" for the third time.

8:19 PM One of the (male) language teachers is doing a striptease over a hastily procured chair. There is much cheering.

9:12 PM We have gone to a business across the street. It is filled with dense smoke. I have no idea how to bounce the colored ball off the edge of the table into the other colored ball. They have told me to play 8 ball by myself. Oddly, there is no booze.

10:33 PM Money has changed hands many times. I was invited to play one more game. There was much shouting as fistfulls of money were slammed on the table. The biology teacher is still glaring at me. I am sitting alone again, a pool cue resting against my shoulder. The head of math is chuckling and putting bills into his wallet.

11:01 PM This is the best fried chicken I've ever eaten. Did we walk here?

12:21 AM "HERE WE ARE, PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!"

1:54 AM I'm not sure where all the women teachers went. Were they at the pool hall?

3:04 AM "BORN TO BE KINGS, PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!"

4:22 AM Do these girls work with us? I did not expect the wife of the head of math to dress that way at a school function. With the way his hands are all over her, he must really love her still!

7:45 AM In twenty minutes, the head of math has to teach. I've been told I will be allowed to use the cot in the nurse's office then, but must give it to the language teacher at 9:05 when he finishes his class.

Blind Rasputin posted:

At first I was afraid, I was petrified. But then I opened up the meme thread and I learned who died.

Straight White Shark posted:

i'm going to be the MLK of polyamory

Barudak posted:

I have three dreams

goatsestretchgoals posted:

Have to punch the nazi furs extra hard because they have padding.

Pyromaniac Ida posted:

It's the Wolfenstein super human soldiers but on a lower budget.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Wolfurstein.

cumshitter posted:

embalmer: "We have carried out his wishes to the letter. Again, my condolences to you."

*goes bug eyed seeing baloogan embalmed, plasticized, and laid out for his eternal rest in that loving twitch logo shirt that i hate*

"can we have a minute alone?"

"Of course."

"THAT SHIRT! THAT loving SHIRT!" i shout as i rend it from his body with my nails

our inexplicable second daughter: "Little Dada, are you ready for the service?"

"of course, honeyhuns."

*funeral service begins*

some guy: "Jesus, did they really think it was a good idea to let his bitch tits hang out at the funeral? At least put a shirt on the guy."

me, as i raise my walker, "thats my husband youre talking about"

gleebster posted:

The Locator posted:

What the hell doe "ENFP" mean?

Bobby Digital posted:

Myers-Briggs, the nerd zodiac.

Useful only for saying “oh weird that’s the same as Hitler” when someone mentions their type.

WITCHCRAFT posted:

Trying in vain to find that post about some weird underground rapper who opens his trunk and produces tracks that are not even music but an abstract concept like "the time you threw up on the playground in preschool" and everyone is in awe about how good the music is. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

WITCHCRAFT posted:

Trying in vain to find that post about some weird underground rapper who opens his trunk and produces tracks that are not even music but an abstract concept like "the time you threw up on the playground in preschool" and everyone is in awe about how good the music is. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

I don't remember who posted:

Another time me and Dancehall was smokin at he place in Brooklyn and talking about some underground rap poo poo, I said man take me to the newest cats you heard of, the rawest street poo poo only. Dancehall get real quiet and take out a small celly, like looked like a baby cell phone or something, poo poo was tiny. He open it up and it just had one button, button had no number on it? He press it and instead of saying anything into he just held up some black and white photograph of a dog to the mouthpiece and lit it on fire, didn't say nothing. I was much lifted from the w33d and thought he was loving with me because thats how Dancehall be sometimes when he high, but like 1 minute later someone beeping outside, don't sound like no normal horn, its hard to describe u know? Like niggas was beeping and this scar I had on my knee from when I was short and ran into a coffee table started itching and I went to scratch it and Dancehall just looked at me like "No nigga, don't itch that. Itch that is the rudest thing you could do." And we went outside and the car was a Escalade sitting on like 24s also, pretty intimidating to get into a devil hell Escalade when you high, but Dancehall wasnt afraid. Driver was on some secret service poo poo, didn't smile, didn't even look at us, we just got in and buckled up. We ended up at this underground garage somewhere in deep Queens, like driving down floor after floor while we just got higher and higher. And then suddenly, there we were, bottom floor, all dark except for the glowing illuminesence of a crowd of niggas checking they Sidekicks and droids, no service because were underground but they still checkin, and a lone spotlight on this dude, real short cat, like 5 feet, wearin all red. Someone had a drum kit, real small, started giving him the most basic beats, and nigga started spitting, but they weren't rhymes. Nigga was spitting anticipation of different events, right? Like all of a sudden, I got real nervous about Easter, started thinking about how I had a bunch of candy and poo poo to buy, right? Then next I was dreading my 40th birthday. I turn to dancehall and I'm "Nigga I'm only 28!!!! Who is this cat and how he spit anticipation of 12 years from now, thats like some 2021 poo poo???????" and Dancehall was 'man, nicca name is some awful poo poo, his moms was a chef at an unpopular but profitable resturant and his dad I heard was a vet who was in the bomb squad and come back with PTSD, so they named him the collective nervousness of a group of people reluctantly waiting to eat. When nigga walks past a Taco Bell, its like a whole crowd of people chanting he name, sultry seduction of crowds of girls waving they titties, smearing them with fire sauce. Drives him crazy like a wolf, make the nicca hornie as hell devil, got arrested last week for putting he mystery weener in one of those new black tacos, found him crying in the bathroom covered in cinnamon, crying, screaming "why u name me this way, chef mom" and I said "no way can a nigga be named that, how they put that on he birth certificate" and it turn out he was born at a Jewish hospital!!! I was like "nigga u cold" and thats why I dont eat tacos no more

purple death ray posted:

I really enjoyed the brief period where some mod retitled almost every thread in pyf to the same thing

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

It was funny for a couple days but any longer and the confusion may have become terminal.

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Shoulda Terry Schiavo'd that poo poo, m'lady