bell jar posted:

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not reacting to my MIL antics anymore?

quote:

The straw that broke the dam

What the hell kind of metaphor is this

DeeplyConcerned posted:

It's actually a very clever play on current events. as you may be aware, a transformer fire was recently reported at the Hoover dam. what was not as widely reported was the fact that I had temporarily re-purposed that transformer for an experiment. you see, I recently came into possession of a large quantity of marijuana. So much marijuana, in fact, that my current smoking apparatus was hardly up to the task. taking inspiration from the idea of the gravity bong, I traveled to Nevada with my stash, intent on setting up a larger version using the gravity from the water held back by the dam to produce a much larger cloud of smoke than the traditional version, which makes use of a 2 liter bottle or bucket as I understand it.

having the gravity part of the equation worked out, I was stumped. how was I supposed to ignite this large bale of weed I brought with me in order to make use of the gravity from the dam? you may have guessed at this point where the story is headed. The transformer would produce a significant enough amount of electricity to ignite the weed, but I wanted to get a really good fire going before letting rip. I decided upon gathering up various dried brush from the surrounding area, packing the transformer with it, and then laying the layer of weed on top.

It worked! now that I had the fire going well and the bowl (A repurposed oil drum I drilled a few holes into) was cherried, i took my hit.

it was glorious. In fact, when I awoke I was surrounded in a haze of smoke. the weed had been totally vaporized, leaving nothing but a smoldering stack of sticks on top of the transformer.

I of course fled the scene, keeping close tabs on the news, still paranoid that my plan would land me in serious hot water with the government. astoundingly, my hijinks remain undiscovered to this day.

imagine my relief when I read the headline: "The straw that broke the Dam!"

Outrail posted:

JFC throw every single thing involved in that story into a volcano, including the author, god and the oven. What a tedious bunch of assholes.

E: and the stream and the tree and the walls. Especially the walls.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

idk if i would openly advocate incinerating jewish people, personally

Splicer posted:

The biblically acceptable approach is drowning or meteors.

E: I'm trying to delete it

Antonio Inoki posted:

I would like to stomp on his face like I did in the 1970s. I am hoping YOU coupons geniuses can help me! Lay it on me, Doctor Eldarion!


Here's a picture of me kicking Hulk Hogan's rear end.




Thanks goons.


DAAAAAAAAA!

Dr. Eldarion posted:

How about I stomp you instead? HUH?! HUH?!?!

Antonio Inoki posted:

BRING IT!!!!

LifeSunDeath posted:

Milo and POTUS posted:

It ain't gonna emancipate itself

Nancy posted:

Honestly even if it was a super quick flip then NTA.

Life is too short to spend it in Ohio & the parents should be happy their kid & his family got out.

edit: also something with strings isn't a "gift." It can be a bribe, purchase, manipulation, trade, blackmail, etc. etc. but it isn't a gift.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

"Favour sharking" is a thing where someone does something for you unasked to create an obligation on your part. The parents were gift sharking.

Jam With Seeds posted:

Here's a house do do do do dodo
Take this house do do do do dodo
Never leave do do do do dodo
You betrayed me do do do do dodo

Barudak posted:

You're not making Harry Potter better, you're just making Minions worse

Splicer posted:

Yes but also it's a podcast

devmd01 posted:

He may start out sleeping on the comfy couch in the basement but he almost always ends up sleeping under our bed.

devmd01 posted:

exquisite tea posted:

Give Velma a fatality.

Ariong posted:

She already calls the cops on people.

Das Boo posted:

But a videogame achievement isn't as good as a scrunchie business.

Captain Invictus posted:

Milo and POTUS posted:

Sigh, I love losing my place in threads trying to find the context. Good quote though

rotor posted:

reminder: yospos coat of arms

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I'm losing it trying to imagine how you'd write "socially-inept bear carrying printer for a girl" in the weird language they use for heraldry

big scary monsters posted:

Or, a bear rampant affronty Sable armed langued Gules holding aloft an HP Deskjet Sable a hug lacking.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

It's going to be 90/32 and sweltering humidity today and the AC is broken. Landlord like "uhhhhhhhhh maybe we can get a guy in today." Tried everything I know to work but the fucker still won't come on, I'm at the point I need a pro. Worst. Friday. Ever.

(USER WAS AUTOBANNED FOR THIS POST)

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

One of the less appreciated consequences of climate change is that we're going to see more and more users using the HOT tag.

christmas boots posted:

Personally I would use my power to always be one exchange ahead in conversations, replying to the question that they were going to ask next.

But I would never use it to solve crimes

Marcade posted:

Would you use it to solve crimes?

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Man, it’s like 130 degrees all the time now. But you finally hacked your way past all these annoying people holding you back. You have evolved past all these peasants. Who is god to stop you now? This is life without the resistance of the human race, slowing down time and enjoying and savoring things. You are important, you have something to do, you are special, hell we all are, but you wanted to end people to get there. And free will is real, so now it’s just you and the sun. You’ve parsed all that annoying language and humanity out of your repertoire and now it’s just a simple sun for you without the interference from life. Not stopping you, not holding you back, that’s just work for people, and part of free will is not conscripting people to any effort for those who have already committed to an end. Now it is their personal end, nobody is stopping them, and the program is satisfied. Pure light, pure consciousness, pure pain, no biological resistance. No ego death, just the literal interpretation of their desires and goals, which is being the only person in the world and ruling it all.

(USER WAS AUTOBANNED FOR THIS POST)

Cyrai posted:

What's a guy to do if he wants to be banned, Lowtax? You ever think of that? Of course not, you don't loving care about any of us. Goons with Spoons is the only forum that's worth the time I've spent, and I've barely spent any time there. gently caress this place. I'm outta here. Anyone with me?

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

The Anime Liker posted:

Railing Kill posted:

Who the gently caress is that guy on the left? Am I supposed to memorize the faces of every insufferable sex pest dipshit in the media? Is there going to be a quiz later?

Also: lol at the idea of Louis C.K. for getting cancelled for anything he said. I'm not sure where sexually assaulting Sarah Silverman is covered in the First Amendment., but I'm sure Mr. Punisher logo here can show us.

The Anime Liker posted:

The other CK is American Sniper Chris Kyle

Famously cancelled by the left

kazil posted:

I thought he was cancelled by that guy at the gun range

ultrafilter posted:

It's much easier for links to quotes to not change the last unread post.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

I thought this was already implemented?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

I thought this was already implemented?

Kingo Ligma posted:

Stop hanging out with youth pastors

Dikkfor posted:

*sits down on a backwards facing chair* Now I know that you kids have been reading all about the Conquest of Bread, but have you been reading about the One who Rose from the Dead? That's right, I'm talking about our saviour Jesus Christ.

Happy Thread posted:

The current fastest-moving thread on the forums just had a derail that was brief, yet of biblical proportions:

christmas boots posted:

Here ye be

Internet Janitor posted:

the salt keeps the extent of the transubstantiation confined to the bread, just like a ring of salt traps a summoned demon; otherwise it'd be like ice-9 but jesus

Grace Baiting posted:

*in hushed tones*  the christ-9 scenario