Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

GrandpaPants posted:

So a friend of mine just linked me this Craigslist ad, and I guess this thread helped me develop a second sense about these things because I immediately went, "This is probably a terrible Kickstarter." And it is!.

Forget a five-head, this guy's got a six-head:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2013 03:45

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:55

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

pathetic little tramp posted:

$200
You'll get the complete DVD release of ALF: Bounty Hunter, the short-lived 2002 HBO & BBC show, completely uncensored.

$500
We'll name a biolord after you! No guarantee he'll have a line before ALF soulblasts him into the nether regions of Melmac!

Actually, this might be a valid way to get some old TV shows on DVD that are afraid of shelling out music rights without knowing if the sales will support it.

Daria with ALL ORIGINAL MUSIC INTACT?! I'd kickstart that!

Seriously, Viacom, you're insanely rich, why did you cheap out for "sound-a-likes" and covers?! gently caress you! :mad:

# ¿ Mar 15, 2013 03:34

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Guess what actually exists. If it's reported on Slashdot, it's got to be true. . . Right?

Slashdot's still around? And people still read it?

# ¿ Apr 5, 2013 15:13

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Babe Magnet posted:

The fallout from this is going to be beautiful.

Can't you see, it's clearly all part of the US-Pharmo-Industrial Complex trying to shut her down! :tinfoil:

Don't you know they just want you to stay sick so they can make money?!

# ¿ Apr 10, 2013 23:07

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

What the world needs now is a little bit of KickStopper:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2FGfdNtBh4

Edit: But it needs to not only be real, but let us stop projects against the creators will.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2013 14:31

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Orzo posted:

The question is, can you watch this video without closing it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iQC0Fqpq70

Something isn't right with this guy's head/neck area.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2013 19:35

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

AnonSpore posted:

This is more or less that tv series Man vs Food, isn't it?

He started out already kinda fatty, though.

I remember back in the early 2000's some popular website, I think SparkNotes (or what eventually became SparkNotes) had a month-long project to fatten up two "fit" people. I think it was some internet betting thing to see who could gain the most weight in 30 days.

Fake edit: Here we go, thanks to the power of the internet archive.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 22:02

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Grrl Anachronism posted:

I think the idea's interesting, but.... the price tag. $200 for a set of four steel table legs attached to clamps? Or if you have a piece of furniture that defies the laws of physics you can get one for 50.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/957579505/the-floyd-leg?ref=card

They're also horribly designed.

The clamp has way too small of an area. I see a lot of people just screwing INTO their totally hip, reclaimed outhouse door-turned-desk. I mean...it will keep it in place, I guess, but be harder to unscrew and it will make the surface wobble.

And then on top (well..on bottom) of that are the feet. They really should have adjustable feet on the bottom to deal with both uneven floors, and uneven table/desk surfaces. Which, if they're used as intended on old, reclaimed wood, will be most of them...especially with those small clamps screwing into the wood.

Fake edit: Oh, I see they actually do plant to increase the size of the clamp on the production model...still could use some adjustable feet, though. But then they wouldn't look as nice, and this is CLEARLY form over function at play, here.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 17:08

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

From a few pages ago, but oh well:

Crain posted:

Is it just me or is there something really...off about this kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lix3d/lix-the-smallest-3d-printing-pen-in-the-world

It's another 3d printing pen. And to their credit they have a development plan and put a lot of effort into the proposal and their website. But the video and the fact that everything about the donor tiers and rewards makes me think this isn't a funding project and more of an ad. Something just seems wrong here.

Hack A Day sperged out pretty hardcore on the thermodynamics of it and determined it's BS:
http://hackaday.com/2014/05/03/ask-hackaday-can-the-lix-3d-printing-pen-actually-work/

The odds that this pen will actually work while being powered by USB is pretty slim to nill.

Probably not an out and out scam - I mean, the videos look like it's actually working, but I'm guessing it's plugged into a standard wall outlet, not a USB port.

So in other words, it's just a slightly prettier-looking 3Doodler.

# ¿ May 7, 2014 19:36

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

FrozenVent posted:

I kind of wish Treepunk had taken off, honestly.

Ewoks.

# ¿ May 27, 2014 20:22

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Is the Reading Rainbow KS the fastest to reach $1 million? I know the Veronica mars Movie got there is 12-ish hours, but this hit it in about 11, yeah?

# ¿ May 29, 2014 18:44

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Excels posted:

#sixseasonsandamovie

#pipedreams

Didn't see the new yesterday, did you?
http://m.eonline.com/news/555752/community-season-6-happening-at-yahoo-get-all-the-details-on-the-show-s-revival

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 16:17

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Excels posted:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/488665254/letters-to-everybody

I made a low-effort Kickstarter project to see if I'd get any bites. I thought 50 was a pretty easy goal, only one guy donated so far

I even made sure to mention potato salad, although I guess you gotta say it in the KS blurb itself instead of your bio.

I'm unreasonably upset that your low-effort, money-grab Kickstarter is doing better than MY low-effort, money-grab Kickstarter.

But at least I'll save myself the dignity and not post a link to it. :colbert:

Edit: whoa, a $10 backer appeared out of nowhere. Project funded. Cause I set my goal at $10. :smugdog:

DrBouvenstein has a new favorite as of 00:42 on Jul 23, 2014

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 19:10

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Zaphod42 posted:

Sounds like a really expensive Furby.

Yeah, but can it blow me?

I'd like to imagine there's a market out there for a Furby that can blow me.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 13:27

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

senrath posted:

Safeties get 2 points.

ANd didn't Seattle get a safety on Denver's first play?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2014 17:54

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

It's not just tuning, it's artisanal tuning. That costs money.

You jest, but wasn't there a guy who started some kind of "artisanal pencil sharpening service" as a joke, but then some insufferable assholes from places like Williamsburg, Seattle, Portland, and San Fran jumped all over it?

http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/

# ¿ Oct 3, 2014 16:52

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Paladinus posted:

http://i.imgur.com/2MtB2ly.jpg

Dark Souls remake lookin' good.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2014 21:51

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Wamdoodle posted:

Lol if you haven't mastered the art of "cup n throw" when it comes to weaponizing your flatulence. Still, backed.

I tried to master it, but Randy was explaining it really poorly, and I was on PC, so the controls were different than what it said, so I just rage-quit.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2015 22:05

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

I don't know how to feel about this:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/265641170/kraftwerk-highly-innovative-portable-power-plant

The idea isn't bad for things like camping/hiking/etc..., but that video is just full of WTF?

From the weird belly tat guy walking up and ~~posing~~ refilling his Kraftwerk, to taking it to a coffee shop and work...places literally full of outlets and USB ports...to then giving one as a gift to his wife in a box you'd expect jewelry to be in, and then her revealing her own Kraftwerk...again, that she is using in a place FULL of outlets.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 22:37

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Jedit posted:

I'm just waiting for Ralf and Florian to find out about this and sue their asses off.

Kraftwerk is just the German word for power plant.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2015 14:29

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

theflyingorc posted:

edit: it's ridiculous that you cannot comment on a kickstarter if you aren't a backer. It's really obvious that this thing is a sham, but I'd have to give them money to even give a cursory warning to other people, or even link them to their own demo video.

Pledge $1 so you can comment, inform the people, then just take back your pledge a day before it's funding is finished.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 21:33

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Who wants an overpriced key blank you'll have to pay even more for to get it cut, that will snag on everything in your purse/bag/pocket, be hard to turn in the knob, and might not ever make it to production for trademark and/or copyright issues?

# ¿ Dec 24, 2015 17:15

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

cyberia posted:

So you spin your dice coin and then stop it (at random. No cheating now!) with your finger and the number next to your finger is the result of the spin:

But the image has a guy with s spear pointing at one of the numbers. Clearly that's better than "put your finger down, no cheating!"

# ¿ Aug 18, 2016 15:39

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Waffleman_ posted:

Please give me a cell phone that looks like a retainer case.

It's like that weird birth control phone from It Follows:

# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 21:54

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

There's no good kickstarter thread so I'm going to put this good kickstarter here:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brandonbird/the-jerry-orbach-memorial-art-car

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 20:01

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:55

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Remember that crazy expensive Kickstarter juicer that used one-time use pouches? Like the Keurig of juicing?

Turns out you can get as much juice by squeezing the pouches by hand.

quote:

One of the most lavishly funded gadget startups in Silicon Valley last year was Juicero Inc. It makes a juice machine. The product was an unlikely pick for top technology investors, but they were drawn to the idea of an internet-connected device that transforms single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables into a refreshing and healthy beverage.
Doug Evans, the company�s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection. He declared that his juice press wields four tons of force��enough to lift two Teslas,� he said. Google�s venture capital arm and other backers poured about $120 million into the startup. Juicero sells the machine for $400, plus the cost of individual juice packs delivered weekly. Tech blogs have dubbed it a �Keurig for juice.�

But after the product hit the market, some investors were surprised to discover a much cheaper alternative: You can squeeze the Juicero bags with your bare hands. Two backers said the final device was bulkier than what was originally pitched and that they were puzzled to find that customers could achieve similar results without it. Bloomberg performed its own press test, pitting a Juicero machine against a reporter�s grip. The experiment found that squeezing the bag yields nearly the same amount of juice just as quickly�and in some cases, faster�than using the device.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2017 18:18

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?