Josef bugman posted:

Can we have the quote from towards the end of the last thread? The one where the professor turns into a glowing god bear?

quote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire. The bear spoke: "Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!" The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils. Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room, wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying "Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!" As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. "It'ssss me you want!". And then the Lord and the Antichrist joined in the final battle.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

Baudolino posted:

Ca 980 words.

Rural Rentboys.

The Year is 1985.
England,Shropshire, Wroxeter, two 18teen year old boys are entering an abonend bunker. The mosscovered"do not enter"sign above the entrance is barely redable, it has not worn the gnawing of time well. They ignore it. The bunker was a perect litle shelter for them. For James and RIchard it was the ideal, that is to say the only place where they could be themselves.

Wroxeter, famous for it`s old roman ruins and little else was hardly a stronghold of tolerance. Quiet little villages with piss poor work markets seldom are. Two young boys in love could not be open about their desires in such a place without risk. Tall, muscular and atheltic James and Richard cherised the attention they got from the local girls .
But the School janitor with his needy blue eyes and gaunt face also appreciated their looks. Attention from a known poofter like him they could ill afford. In short things could be better for them. Mercifully they knew they always had eachother and the aboned bunker. It would have to do until they graduated.

Spring was in full orgasmic explosion when they visited the bunker for the last time. Nature blossomed, it was green, moist and filled with bird song. The green hills east of Wroxter was in everyway a paradisal sigth, not including the odd discarded needle or empty beer can. Even the heavens looked magical, dotted with white puffy clouds and clothed in the colour of the ceasars. Happily the bunker was obscured behind trees and did not disturb the romantic visage.

Inside the bunker James pushed Richard gently away -No, not yet, work before pleasure remember? Not even a little kiss?--- Alright, maybe just the on... They kissed, it was quick, it was sweet.

-Now to the task at hand, James said and pulled away. Lying upside down in the sparse concrete room was Richard`s bike. It lacked a front wheel, the old one had gotten hosed up after a particulary nasty fall. To buy a new wheel would probaly be best, but neither Richard or James had much money to spare. And RIchard loathed to spend the small pithy the school janitor paid for his "favors" unless absolutely necessary. Instead the two boys had gradually managed to cobble together a decent rim and fit it with spokes. The tire they simply stole off the janitors bike, infront of his very eyes. What was he supposed to do, go to the police? They hoped it would do as a new wheel.

After much sweating cursing and hustling about inside the bunke they finally made the wheel fit the bikeframe. It looked safe anyhow.
-Seems alrigth. Wanna give it a go Richard?
- You know what i want, hehe.
-Seriously mate, ride it down the slope to see how it handles. We might need to make some adjustments.
Richard picked up the bike and smiled. -Yeah yeah i heard you, if it makes you happy.
-I just want you to be safe using that wheel. Richard walked outside and sat down on the bike. -I know you do.

Richard started to roll down the hill the hill, immeadtly the bike started to shake and rumble . As he neared the first bend in the road the front wheel touched a small pothole, at once the wheel collapsed inwards and the joints holdning the rim together came apart violently. Richard was flung off his bike and landed just outside the road, where he tumbled ever faster down the slope. Running as fast as he could James found his lover lying face down at the foot of the hill. His body perfectly still despite bleeding massivly from his rigth thigh where a piece of bone protruded from his flesh. As James he got closer a terrible frigth posessed him. He could barely stand when he finally reached Richard. The horrible dark red blood was naseuating, it was downrigth gruseome. Shambling like a drunk man James tried to get awaybut quickly fell down. The blood made him dizzy, made him feel like he was drownin, made him hold his to breath. The blood the blood blo..

James lost conciousness. When he came to the sky was a little darker and the air at little colder. His lover laid on the same spot as before, the ground now toroughly draped with a dark red colour and RIchard himself curiosly pale. Like paper or snow or something.
-Get up Richard please, we have to get your bike fixed. Come on mate, get up.
RIchard, please, YOU HAVE TO GET UP!

Several weeks later after Richard had been buried at the St Andrews church James found himself outside a yellow camping wagon. Standing in the door in his trouses and with a beer in his hand was the school janitor. With a grin he simply said-So it`s just me and you now innit, come for a job have you?
- Pay me double what you gave Richard and use a loving condom and i.i.. i`ll do what you want
Mr Fletcher stepped back and gave James a huge grin-Get in!

quote:

"i love making GBS threads inside friend of the family assholes"

Smythe posted:

Awww a bloo bloo blooo little baby doesnt like being marketed to? little baby doesnt like ebing the demographic? well heres a newsflash: thats what being a Gamer feels like. Everywhere I turn it s HEY! GAMer! heres SOME MT DEW! andim like PLEASE, leave me alone. then I turn around and ITS DORITOS!! Im screaming now and cradling my head THE MASTER CHIEF NEEDS YOU TO SAVE THE HALO!! gently caress OFF!!! GO AWAY!!! Being a Gamer is Hell.

CannonFodder posted:

Limoscalade

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

JediTalentAgent posted:

I prefer to think of the party by their full name: Nationanal Socialshits.

ArfJason posted:

I was at Macy's thanksgiving parade and it was time for the balloons to pass by my street. I looked out my window and saw all those classic icons of cartoons, like spongebob, mickey mouse and he-man. Then came movie characters, and there was this loving massive balloon of the dragon from the neverending story (falcor?), and those creatures from Gremlins, among other things. After that came corporate mascots, you know stuff like Coca Cola's Santa Claus, Chester Cheetah and Tony Tiger.

But what caught my attention, was what the Camel cigarette company brought. It was an insanely gigantic Camel, seems they wanted to bring him back and make him relevant again. He stood taller than some buildings, and had a cigarette on his mouth that was thicker than a subway train.

That was the very first time I saw a bigger fag than ralp.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Wilford Cutlery posted:

9:50pm:


9:50pm:


9:51pm:

Lord Binky posted:

fyad is like a school bully who dumps your books and calls you a fag in front of girls you like. You pretend it upsets you but you actually kind of enjoy it in a pathetic sort of way

Kajeesus posted:

Does anyone have the OP a guy posted for a pillow modding thread? I believe it made numerous references to the PillMod community and also was funny.

Noni posted:

Considering the goon community, I can't believe I'm the first to mention this, but have you considered pillow mods? Forget about those expensive, off-the-shelf premium pillows and build your own pillow rigs that have the qualities that you desire. Heck, some of those fancy commercial pillows should be avoided for their outright theft of components and ideas that were developed in the pillmod community. Notably, Serta's FaceHugger line was recalled entirely after they realized the looming PR disaster that a bunch of sleep nerds would incite.

I've been into pillow modding for a few years now and have managed to improve my sleep efficiency index from 0.69 to 0.85 (I'm a class 4b sleeper). You can build a full-featured pillmod for less than $100. Hell, I've made a half-dozen models and not spent more than $200.

Before you start modding, you should heed the standard warning and check if you have sleep apnea or anything medically obstructive. Sure, your vanilla pillows are probably annoying to sleep on, but sleep apnea could be compounding the issue by permitting minor annoyances, like pillow temperature, to wake you easily. More importantly, a few people with pillmods have died while sleeping. Although many of us doubt the involvement of their mods (people who enter the community are prone to sleep issues in the first place), it's still good advice to follow.

If you do have sleep apnea, then pillmods should be hugely advantageous. In fact, the pillmod community began around sleep apnea machines (CPAPs) and their inconveniences, especially for those whose preferred sleep postures are obstructed by CPAP facepieces. The earliest mods involved simply cutting channels into memory foam pillows, and then using freezer gel inserts to cool the pillow. They would also have to reinforce the channel so that the weight of a person's head wouldn't crush the air tubes.

But now, especially with the availability of Arduino kits and cooling systems intended for electronics, there are hundreds of pillmods that you could complete in a few hours.

It seems like most people are drawn to do PCS projects for their first mods. That's fine, but be aware that the better PCS (Pillow Coolant Systems) typically are of moderate difficulty or higher. They are also costly and time-consuming, relative to other mods you could start with such as glowmods, larms, and just simply modding a pillow's material and shape to your headspace.

Here's my first glowmod larm, for example:



This is a good starter mod combination because people like it for light therapy and smooth awakenings. The pillow gradually gets brighter until your wake-up time. You can also set it to gradually get darker at night. It's the adult version of those Glow-Worms that infants love.

But if you are dead-set on a PCS mod, I suggest strongly that you forget about those flashy, complex pillmods that involve watercooled networks of capillaries or, even worse, active heat sinks (such as piezoelectric heat transfer plates). Instead, opt for something silent, passive, and/or battery-based. For example, I have build a mod called "The Vulcan Nerve Pinch" that will get you about 20 degrees F in cooling delta on soft air ducting alone. Yeah, that's not much, but don't be the guy who blows $300 on his first project and builds a pillow that gives his face hypothermia on the first test run.

Once you get some basic know-how, and you're beyond the flashy mods and ready for something purely functional, check out shape or volume mods. These will actively keep your head at the perfect elevation. JB_Artgow is well known for his expertise in this area. I'm using his Face-Lover v3 mod (Affectionately also known as "Face-Fucker v3") every night. That's where Serta hijacked their FaceHugger brand name from. Allegedly.

The Face-Fucker involves inflation and deflation of semi-rigid water bladders to redistribute the pow's volume. It sounds complex, but it's easy if you buy a parts kit. It uses a silent pump and osmotic gradients to work. You can calibrate it based on both your head's weight and angle. Unlike many other volume mods, this is one-mod-fits-all, so you don't have to design around your giant noggin.

Artgow also has a ebook on Amazon (It's only $2), with instructions for something like 100 mods. He doesn't make money on the book, but he does make a few pennies if you buy parts kits from him directly. This beats the poo poo out of finding a Radio Shack that still stocks diodes and capacitors.

Now I'd like to brag for a bit and talk about some of the more exciting, extreme pillmod possibilities, some of which I just warned you against doing. I'm in the middle of building a custom, arduino-controlled pow with about 12 different mods. Although piezoelectric coolers are all the rage right now, I'm sticking to good old fashioned microducting for cooling. However, I'm using infrared LEDs for heating. The latter are normally expensive, but Dealextreme sells them in bulk for cheap. I think they're sold out recently thanks to jerks like me, however.

I don't like a warm face. The heating mod is just for camping in the cold or when I want to use the pillow as a heating pad for sore muscles. Also: sheer awesomeness.

Here's a schematic (not mine):



As for straight-up ducted cooling, the next image is my take on how one spiderwebs their coolant ducts. You have to be careful here not to bend the tiny tubes more than about 60 degrees or put them in a position where your noggin might bend them. That might look complex, but I used only 4 channels with a coolant turnover (in this case, just water) of 2 seconds for the entire surface to cycle.



By the way, medical tubing works just fine, but make sure that it's both flexible and a directional heat conductor, like Vekspan, which is used for anastomosis. If you buy non-direction stuff, hose down the pow-side with some plastidip from your hardware store, or just throw down a layer of aluminized cloth. The lovely crinkly stuff costs a whopping $1 at Dollar Tree, labeled as an "emergency blanket." You can pilfer the softer stuff from a BBQ apron.

Once this thing is done, I intend to stress test it by running both the heating and cooling systems and letting them fight it out to the death. Of course, in a battle of the PCS vs PHS, I suspect the PHS will win and then torch my pillow.

This pillow is directional, obviously. Because I can't flip it over, I've build the base and core layers from flexible expanded polystyrene and ceramic fibers, which will probably give me mesothelioma eventually, but drat if I won't be well rested at least. I was inspired by a dude who made a low-rent version of aerogel so that he could win an award for "Lightest Pillow" at Pillowcon 2010. My pow, without the mod gear, weighs 2 ounces.

Now, uniquely for me, because my bed is up against a brick wall, I need a pillow that can deal with a little bit of moisture. I like the brick wall for it being a huge heat sink, but it causes moisture to condense on pillows, especially fancy modded ones. This problem is solved by the combination of my core layers and a rechargeable dessicant. During the day, the dessicant tumbler is turned and heated, thus expelling moisture. It's so powerful that it'll suck the sweat right out of my massive head, but at least I'll never again have sweaty pillows.

Speaking of which, at Pillcon 2011, I was the massive fucker who won the door prize of John Cezrik's faux rabbit fur surface:



You'd think that such fur would be irritating against your face after a half-hour or so, but Cezrik's material has microcapillaries built to certain OCT ranges (OCT is optimal cheek temperature). It's like sleeping on a cloud of baby buttcheeks.

Speaking of babies, I actually enjoy the sound of water pumping through the coolant tubes right next to my ears. It's very soothing. Babies, apparently, are calmed by the sound of water swishing in your mouth right next to their ears, and that's what this is like.

Also being built into this pillow o' mine will be some alarm aromatics. Not only can I wake up to a gradually-brightening, sunny pow, but the aroma of my choice (Bacon) can also waft out.

And if the gentle sound of the water pumping isn't soothing enough, I've got three speakers and the Arduino can easily generate some white noise or play sounds of various environments like the motherfucking ocean. I prefer low-range, soft brown noise. I'll have none of that hissy poo poo that store-bought machines put out.

The nice thing about having noise generated in your pillow is that the sound doesn't permeate the rest of the room. So if your significant other likes a dead quiet room and you need some noise, this is a fine solution.

Of course, all those mods result in an awful lot of wiring:




That's enough pillmod talk, I suppose. gently caress it bitches, let's glow this joint:



If this kind of thing appeals to you, there's also the blanketmod community. However, I tend to stay away from them due to it being populated by perverts who essentially make sex toys out of their comforters, which they call, obviously, "cumforters." Pillmodders are, in essence, nerds who are poor sleepers. Blanketmodders, in contrast, cut dick-sized holes in blankets with anime patterns on them and think they're engineers.

There is, however, a clever mod that came out of that community that involves a mere $30 in parts and makes your bed vibrate like the "magic fingers" machines found in crappy motels. It's really just a few off-balance weights powered by scrap motors, but entertaining. If nothing else, that and your pows should be enough to get anyone into your beds, you creeps.

Anyway, I'd like to hear what any goon pillmod pals have done.

Karate Bastard posted:

Re: goon porn: a reminder that there exists a quite substantial portfolio of goon-made porn, with goons in it, commercially available. You could say there's -aha- a buttload of it. This mental image is a gift from me to you.

Ruddha posted:

A really long, sympathetic post, and as you read through it you gradually realize I'm describing the sadness of Hitler being forced into suicide

Internaut! posted:

no one's forcing these raised-by-the-internet kids to post their moronic I WONDER IF MY VACUUM CLEANER IS A LAYDEE thoughts

Trig Discipline posted:

oh man i hope she is, otherwise i just got my...never mind

Puppy Galaxy posted:

that whole thread is great

Triticum Guzzler posted:

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you gently caress us with an eggplant shaped dick instead of a classic boner style hardon, do we not do a special kind of sex pee similar to urine but of wholly different physiological origin according to my imagination? I watch cartoons for a living.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

baby boomers needed long, rifled vaginas to deliver children with precision to combat the soviet union. now the threats are multiple and ill defined, requiring a more broad pussy ejection.

The Golden Man posted:

a womens pubic response to the rise of the nuclear bloc was to hide her ovaries deep in her body in the belly, meaning long penises were good to reach up there like putting a box of stuff int he attic. now women are relaxed from smoking weed and antianxiety mediicine and have "egg droop

VanSandman posted:

I've never had a post make me want to throw up before.

no they will not posted:

It might sound hosed up to say that BYOB mod dogcrash truther typed out his post in the GBS autoban thread, and choked back sobs thinking of his BYOB pals that would never again have their avatar photoshopped into a pic that his avatar was also photoshopped into, and he had to drink some beer to calm his nerves, and he very slowly clicked submit post as tears fell from his eyes onto the keyboard, and a slow melancholy version of the byob reggae was playing the whole time, but it's 100% true.

no they will not posted:

stereo: Hurf de... durf it's... BYOB... time [violins swelling]
DCT: God drat it. God drat it! The world is such a dark place...

Keith Stack posted:

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Lowtax posted:

I should make you a mod for this post

EDIT: oops

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Keith Stack posted:

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Keith Stack posted:

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

walking through a wooded area, hear a rustle behind me, see a flock of wild turkeys rush past me out of the corner of my eye. probably the closest ill ever get to experiencing jurassic park

An Angry Bug posted:

IT thread woes and accidental slam poetry:

Smythe posted:

*watching DBAN run on dead gramms compy* You're free now. Rest in peace, old friend.

Smythe posted:

*on my deathbed* son... pls dban my gaming rig. theres some poo poo on there u dont want to see.

Smythe posted:

son: dban? whats that???
me: fucktarded bitch.. how did you come from my loins.. casual fag. unbelievable
*machine flatlines*

cheerfullydrab posted:

Does anyone have that quote where the guy related his pathetic and made up story about how he made a joke in a theater and and the whole place turned into an 'MST3K-style riff fest'?

I may have been reading that thread as it happened.

Mister Glockwork posted:

I saw Ghostrider with a bunch of my friends on opening night just to heckle it. We even held a contest to see who could throw out the best heckle.

Apparently my friend had the same exact idea as me because as soon as Ghostrider first appeared we yelled out "HOW'D IT GET BURNED?" in our best Wicker Man impressions. The audience loving lost it and the rest of the movie turned into a MSTK riff fest.

Falstaffs Honor posted:

I don't think this story is true, because I doubt most of the audience was familiar with internet videos about Wicker Man.

Adrianics posted:

Just like that time I went to see Atonement and when that faggy guy with the stupid moustache gave the chocolate to that kid I yelled 'YOU GONNA GET RAPED' and I swear that the audience was laughing so hard they had to stop the film for a few minutes

kickascii posted:

I was around 12 or 13 when I got a 300 baud modem for my commodore 64. Kid at school had access to pirated games aka “warez" and hooked me up with a list of BBS phone numbers. I finally successfully connected and got into filling out a registration form. I got stumped on the "ANSI or ASCII" question when suddenly the screen went blank and a message slowly scrolled across. It dawned on me that someone was typing the message out in real time and it terrified me for some reason. "you are the worst lamer i have ever seen. never call here again."

Improbable Lobster posted:

The September 11, 2001 attacks drastically changed the fashion world. Denim became hugely popular, with almost all forms of it being distressed.

computer parts posted:

so i wonder which national crisis brought on yoga pants

theflyingexecutive posted:

the great pumpkin spice famine of 08

theflyingexecutive posted:

times were lean, woo girls were collapsing in their uggs, bodies of basic bitches bundled like the brawny man's bounty

Your Dunkle Sans posted:

Stereotype posted:

maniacdevnull posted:

*dives over pile of other posters and shouting* No ring

Amethyst posted:

http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2015/12/science-fictional-shibboleths.html

not a bad little article

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

ah, see, here's your problem. tap tap

you've got a load of good ideas here, and some verifiable fact, but see these little sarcastic rhetorical questions? the use of "hint" followed by a colon? that science-fetishy smell - you'd think it's just XKCD corrosion, think it'll wipe off with a damp cloth, but nah, you've got a full-fledged Stross going here.

real bastard to shift. i'll give you two fifty for it for parts, and that's because i like you

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

Thread title: I can tell when a guy just had sex:

Ronald_Raygun posted:

If only you could also tell his name OP

Thin Privilege posted:

Was looking through old bookmarks, found this thing that kept me crying with laughter for a good 2 weeks, especially after someone suggested to read it in Skwisgaar Skwigelf's voice.

needs archives:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3405371#post390560591

Mongmonghi posted:

Ok long story short.. the ultra hot chick of a schoolmate of mine broke up with him after 7 years of relationship this summer(she is 24).
A month ago I heard about it by chance, but I did not gave much attention to it, given that I know she is unreachable.

One day on facebook we started talking for a stupid reason and the conversation went on so naturaly that we ended up flirting, this happened last Thursday.
After that day we spoke on a daily basis and the conversation would get very flirty but not sexual, it was more romantic and it made me feel like I had found a
soulmate. She proposed me to go out with her indirectly within this week on the last friday, but in the end on the last saturday, she could not resist and we went
out on a rushed first date, rushed cause we were both dead tired.


The date was okay, started bit akward cause I havent seen her for a long time, and I could tell flirting on fb had her in an, OH WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO NOW IN PERSON mood.. we got to know eachother better, some teases and after a while we went home ( since it was a last minute decision date and we were both dead tired )
when the date ended, she said lets meet again another time, dont know if she meant it or she was being kind but its irrelavent I think.

I sent her a sms after she left to check if she arrived home safe and she replied in a positive and kind way, that she did and she had fun.

Now we talk daily via chat, and she is quite friendly and some nights even flirty and romantic.Exchange our favourite intrests, sending romantic songs and films etc

I started falling for her cause I had her in mind for a long time..
like when I saw her I told myself oh she is so perfect, but she has a nice boyfriend and they are together a century ago.. so erase her from your mind mongmonghi, NOTHING will ever happen between the two of you.


Since 5th of December she started working at an expo as a model, and she is busy till 9th of December with work till 8pm all days.

I proposed her to see her again and she replied on Monday for a coffee.
I got a bit sad cause yesterday even if I was dead tired I wanted to see her, but she prefers to wait till Monday even if she can.

My main concerns are : I would like to go for a relationship with her cause so far she seems like my dreamgirl, and second is the coffee proposal a friendzone?

Or Its safe and its up to me to escape and do a decisive strike for it?If so what strategies you propose?

and thirdly I am making myself very available should I dissapear for a couple of days to see if she searches? but how much is too much and I risk to lose her?

I know I am overthinking, but I can't help it cause I lose sleep and think about it the whole time as you guessed from the whole topic.
Need your opinions people!

Mongmonghi posted:

Well in the end I made a rush move and told her, and then I realised that I did not felt anything that I convinced myself that I was.
It was just a reaction to my recent break up, that I had 1 4 days before I started talking to the " girl of my dreams".
I feel relief now that I finaly admited that to myself.

Angela Christine posted:

The 'jews run the world' conspiracy always makes me feel bad for unsuccessful jews. I can just imagine being a kid who has read about it thinking he is going to get clued in after his bar mitzva -- but nothing. Maybe it's like studying the Kabbalah and you're supposed to wait until you're 40. 40 comes and goes, and still no invite to the illuminati. Finally he goes and asks a kindly old Rabbi. The Rabbi sits him down and says, "Yes, it's all true, but you won't be getting an invitation. I'm sorry, Hershel, but you're a schmuck."

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

So it's a pencil sharpener?

Smythe posted:

Computer error messages putting words in my mouth. forcing me to use its tone and genered language. It's loving passive aggressive and honestly Creepy as gently caress It's like Error. Okay... then it's like "Alright, Let's Get Hopping Along" and I'm LIKE WTF!? I don't say Hopping Along, and Frankly, I don't like being told what I say and what I don't say by some "Man" in Redmond. It's like - WOW! I'll respond to this stack trace in my own voice, TYVM.

Sweevo posted:

i was pissing at an airport once and an american guy in one of the stalls kept saying "YEAH, THAT'S THE TICKET!" really loudly every time he managed to squeeze a piece out

PleasureKevin posted:

shut up

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Smythe posted:

*cackling* the destruction of my enemies!!! the final obliteration of the foe!! long have we been embroiled in warfare and at times I was sure my doom was immenent. but in the end, on this day, as the sun sets on the battlefield and the moonglow echos off the hilt of thy fallen blade - it is I who stands alone. It is mine whos boots mark the battlefield. I shall survive. I have persevered. I shall not miss you. I loath you. Your vile body disgusts me even now, in death.

Segmentation Fault posted:

if we're gonna get Harry Potter EU stuff all I want is a book/movie/whatever about Wizard World War II where Dumbledore defeats Grindelwald

Shaggar posted:

Nazi wizards cut down the English wizards with nazi wizard machine guns which are just normal machine guns

Shaggar posted:

"Wizard BJ Blazkowicz, Wizard MechaHitler is developing the largest wand in the world! it will be able to turn people's hair funny colors from hundreds of miles away! You need to break into Castle Wizardstein to stop him!"

Shaggar posted:

American wizards show up and save the day by being hella rad and laying waste to german cities with wizard's fire.

Shaggar posted:

In the east, the Lich King Stalin sends wave after wave of undead against the germans. His mindless hordes crash against the Nazi forces and overwhelm them with sheer numbers. In the end an uneasy pact is made between the allied wizards and the evil lich, but at what cost??

Solice Kirsk posted:

That first quote sucked because the pizza place nailed it way better on their own.