Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I read a fantasy book where some guys went back to the time of Cuchulain and one of them was ordered to start singing and he busts out a wobbly off key version of "When Irish eyes are smiling" and is hailed as the greatest musician ever

Manifisto posted:

Schadenboner posted:

I think it needs the term "warfighter" in there (or is that no longer in vogue since it admits we're, you know, fighting wars?)

FrangibleCover posted:

The American Conflictist? Peacekeeping Actioneer? Limited Interventionizer?

Geisladisk posted:

force application specialist

Phanatic posted:

Sounds like a power bottom.

sebmojo posted:

Shut up Meg posted:

Lives in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere and all the local townsfolk will rally against any journalist or fan who tries to track him down.


He specifically refuses to allow any Hobbes dolls because he doesn't want to ruin the magical ambiguity of whether he is a soft toy or a real tiger because that would ruin it for children,

Basically, he is the exact inverse of Jim Davis.

frankenfreak posted:

Friend posted:

Icochet posted:

So, 25 handjobs per hour at $10 a pop

5am to 2pm, that's 9 * 25 * 10 = $2250

You'll make your money back in less than 9 days

Now you can hire staff. A good tug artist gets what, $20 per hour? They'll make you (9 * 25 * 10) - (9 * 20) = $2070 a day*

A smallish cafe-like property can probably be divided into six wank cubicles with some cardboard, so 2250 + (2070 * 5) = $12600 per day with a full staff

Millionaire in 80 days. Not too shabby.



*assuming Texas doesn't require you to give your employees benefits or breaks or other communist poo poo

Lemniscate Blue posted:

My dad was a huuuuge Heinlein fan and took the whole family to see it in the theater when my brother and I were 14 and 16 respectively.

Mom started glaring at him during the shower scene and didn't stop. I remember clueing in about halfway through that Verhoeven was not exactly enamored of the source material and from that point on I could not stop laughing.

Dad didn't want to talk about it.

Danann posted:

https://twitter.com/Kyruer/status/1233473737434988547

I take it that it's not a normal thing for your air defense to be getting droned by hellfires?

Neophyte posted:

Liar, liar, Pantsir's on fire?

Pinterest Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/Taremimi7710/status/1234073304203321349

invlwhen posted:

meatsink

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Grandmother of Five posted:

His story, as far as I remember, was that he shared a picture of a tattoo that said something like "this year sucked" and when people asked him about it, he shared that he had been to prison for aggravated assault, which came about because a teenager had been flirting with his partner or something, and on account of being a moron, he then beat the kid with a shovel. I don't think that the kid died; that's one of those things were the re-telling of a story gets added to, but massively hosed up still, of course.

He later got charged with manslaughter for a traffic accident, but got found not guilty, I think, so those two things might add up to people remembering him as murdering someone. After all of this was known, and he was pretty forums-wide known as the shovel guy, he was asked by Lowtax to mod GBS, which is really just fantastic imo.


He certainly tried. He had some YouTube videos up for a brief spell where he was doing "sniper duels", which mostly looked like him taking shots at random people. No one deserves to be put in a torture prison, but it also seems weird to me when Goons occasionally defend Caro as a good guy, when he, despite being unwell in some fashion, was also resourceful enough to set himself up in a warzone, and make people belive he was a trained medic, all with the goal in mind to go on a brown-human-hunting safari, which he narrated like a video game shooter.


Two of the most hosed up SA-related stories ever.

Kenning posted:

I did not hear about this. Is there a news article somewhere or something? I can't believe he's actually still alive.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

No that was the OTHER banned cop, the one who was a Chicago cop and like 65 years old

Baron von Eevl posted:

I'm still salty that tokaii turned out to be a creep, "a monster outta look like a monster" and all.

mind the walrus posted:

I don't understand how a guy like that gets a job with access to kids so easily.

Goons Are Great posted:

Is it legal to say that I absolutely love LBJ here?

Not the president I hardly care and am not even American, but because his initials sound they are actually a Spanish invitation to oral sex when spoken out loud and I've been laughing about that for years

Carthag Tuek posted:

In Denmark we have Holger Danske (Ogier le Danois) who is said to have been a knight under Charlemagne, and appears in The Song of Roland. He is said to sleep under Kronborg Castle (for so long that his beard has grown into the table) and will rise when Denmark is threatened. A resistance group was named after him during WW2.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogier_the_Dane
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holger_Danske_(resistance_group)

But yeah, the sleeping king/hero is very common:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_asleep_in_mountain

Angry Salami posted:

There's a few of them outside of Europe - in Peru, there's a legend that the head of the last Inca king was taken to safety after the Spanish executed him, and that he will return once he regrows his body. There's also the Shi'a Muslim belief that the last Imam is still alive but concealed from the world, and will return at the end of days to bring justice to the world.

CommunityEdition posted:

As an American, my people's legend is that when the country is in danger, our leader will hide inside a mountain while the rest of us burn.

Moon Slayer posted:

Thanks for the cool reminder to unbookmark this and most other PYF threads until after November!

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

This isn't an airport. You don't need to announce departures.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Jeff Sexworthy would make a pretty good username.

RandomFerret posted:

HiroProtagonist posted:

Pham Nuwen posted:

The question that's really been bugging me is: did Gandalf gently caress?

I mean his name is "wand-elf", which has me thinking this guy fucks.

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

A wizard comes precisely when he means to.

chitoryu12 posted:

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Magistri pizzarum.

Carthag Tuek posted:

EorayMel posted:

Super Waffle posted:

Tip posted:

It's "Intim Report", but I should probably just tell the full story.

My friend didn't know about this porn, I discovered it one day after he had bragged to me that his father made music for a bunch of movies and I decided to look him up. His IMDB did include a bunch of music credits but they were almost all old German porn.

I thought that was pretty funny until I noticed he had one acting credit, also old German porn, titled "Intim Report". It was a news-themed porn from 1968, and I knew I had to find it. I spent months looking for this drat movie, trying everything I could. Eventually I posted to an online forum asking for help and someone managed to find an eMule link for it that had a single seeder at like 2 KB/s.

It took weeks to download, but when I got it it was a jackpot! I scrubbed through and very quickly spotted his dad, who as a young man looked almost exactly like my friend. In the scene his dad was loving a morbidly obese woman doggy style, her rolls knocking together like a Newton's cradle, as a woman in a hot pink dress suit interviewed him in German.

We lived together and kept our computers in the living room, so I just waited until he was out of the room and then pulled it up on my computer. When he came back he stopped behind me, staring, he said "What are we watching here?", and I said, "We're watching your dad gently caress a morbidly obese German woman."

He really tried his best to deny it, despite the fact it was obviously his dad. He said, "My dad wouldn't wear a gold necklace, that can't be him", and then he asked if he could have a copy of it. He studied it, trying to disprove it, he once ran up to me and said, "This is gonna sound weird, but, his penis doesn't look like my penis, I don't think it's him."

Several years later his dad died, and he asked his mom about the porn. She said, "I don't know, sounds like him though." At his funeral it was what everyone was whispering about, apparently the news made it to the rest of his family. They showed a tribute video with pictures of his dad over his life, but they had trouble finding pictures of him as a young man so they inserted some cropped stills of his face from "Intim Report".

I couldn't loving believe it. I still die laughing just thinking about it.

The Walrus posted:

once i lived in a rooming house with a german named Till who ate nothing but jasmine rice and got mad when my girlfriend and I were awake past 10 PM

Icochet posted:

I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend

D-Pad posted:

I can't stop laughing. I can literally feel the pure joy he felt as he delivered the line  "We're watching your dad gently caress a morbidly obese German woman."

Phlegmish posted:

The greatest series of posts is still Inco posting about his reps in an abortion thread, and I don't think anything's going to top that

Phlegmish posted:

Yes, I actually have his legendary first post in that thread specifically bookmarked

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543702&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=5#post414408653

e: it would have been good even if it had been that one post but he just keeps going

Pick posted:

I never thought it would suck to be a gay man in the south in the 1950s, until I saw snagglepuss

SiKboy posted:

I know, imagine being emotionally effected by art, right? Or having a story remind you of things you have experienced before, or real life situations?

SiKboy posted:

manchild stuff

SiKboy posted:

music

SiKboy posted:

sculpture

Jeza posted:

anime figurines

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

what they do over at r/cummingonfigurines

Kitfox88 posted:

Piss Christ

purple death ray posted:

video games

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

You

Iron Crowned posted:

garbage

Kitfox88 posted:

FART

Sagebrush posted:

Kitfox88 posted:

tetris

Pick posted:

Hanna barberra property

Aphrodite posted:

Forum posts

Son of Sam-I-Am posted:

arse gratia fartis

sebmojo posted: