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loquacius posted:I don't think that guy actually consciously intended to cheat on his girlfriend when he planned that trip with his brother but based on the description of him I absolutely believe that if he goes on the trip he will cheat on his girlfriend saying 'im gonna pick up respectable women' would have made it better
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Sep 29, 2016 19:37
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TOM HANKS posted:You gotta give the bag of weed to the first kid No, they should make the older brother smoke all the weed as punishment. That'll show that little fucker.
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Sep 30, 2016 02:02
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Bud K ninja sword posted:pete is still the goddamn man. And that girl is still the worst human ever.
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Sep 30, 2016 15:09
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There was a reddit thread like a month ago about a girl who hadn't pooped in five weeks, I think she'd be a great girlfriend for both of the other problem poopers ITT.
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Oct 4, 2016 21:24
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Dial-a-Dog posted:I was going to do one of those artsy videos where it's my picture every day for a year except it was gonna be of my dick This would be impressive if you then went out and got all the dick diseases so you could document the destruction of your dick
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Oct 5, 2016 18:46
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mind the walrus posted:I like the part where an adult woman who is capable of reasonable independence and taking care of two growing children for months on end never once had "contact the loving authorities" come into her head. It's fine, he just went to New York to buy cigarettes.
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Oct 5, 2016 22:24
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CodfishCartographer posted:I (33m) overheard my girlfriend (28f) making fun of me pretty brutally to her best friend (27m). When I say brutally... I mean brutally. This is rock solid bullshit through and through. 'Oh wow I just happened to have my arms full of flowers and gifts and food when I walked in to hear my girlfriend giving a savage, well-articulated takedown of my sad dick to another guy'. The story couldn't be more unbelievable if he'd showed up with an engagement ring in his hand and found her sucking off ten dudes at once. ClamdestineBoyster posted:Just remembered I need some white shoes. Get some brown loafers and bleach those fuckers.
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Oct 6, 2016 04:49
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Troposphere posted:very poorly unfortunately Do lesbians just hate bisexual people or something? What does it matter what label you use?
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Oct 12, 2016 18:28
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Chomp8645 posted:Wow the surprise force feeding attempt was really out of left field. I'm waiting for the companion thread where the guy posts about how he's got a feeding fetish and his abusive girlfriend made him feel bad because she wouldn't accept him for who he is. I like to imagine this post is actually Donald Trump's real life reaction every time he sees a white woman with a black man, like some kind of old-rear end Elliot Rodgers.
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Oct 12, 2016 19:03
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Regulation Size posted:GF [25 F] writs really aggressive cuckold erotica...should I [24 M] be concerned? It's like Basic Instinct only the guy is getting cucked to death.
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Oct 13, 2016 19:51
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I'm not afraid of spiders at all and I'd still be loving furious if someone dumped a whole jar of them on me.
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Oct 16, 2016 00:24
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Nooner posted:holy poo poo cucked by your own dad that is pretty brutal It's basically the hardest you can ever get owned short of getting cucked by your mom.
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Oct 18, 2016 19:14
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Nooner posted:like he was 25 years old, pretty much in your prime and wife would rather bang his 50 year old father, jfc Maybe dad had the world's biggest dick, or son had no dick? Hell, maybe the dad had two dicks. Let's not judge until we know all the facts.
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Oct 18, 2016 19:16
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WampaLord posted:She has an orgasm, then goes "Okay, that was great, now I'm done, night!" Like most of lifes problems, this one can be solved by jerking off on her.
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Oct 18, 2016 19:40
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54 40 or gently caress posted:The sock thing makes me paranoid. Like when I'm out in public is there some guy staring at me then going home to jack it over my shoes or hair or something totally mundane and typically not sexualized? I shuddered reading that. Has that honestly never occured to you before? I always figured that every girl on earth has been jerked off to at least once just based on the sheer quantity of men multiplied by number of fantasties.
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Oct 18, 2016 20:04
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Jack Trades posted:I'm having a daily secret wank fantasy about masturbating to the whole of Earth and everything on it and then covering it all in a big glob of my cum. That sounds less like a wank fantasy and more like a greek myth.
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Oct 18, 2016 20:13
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Seems nobody told that woman about this great new invention called abortion.
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Oct 19, 2016 04:56
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DOMDOM posted:The sex was great! Glad I'm not the only one who found that straight up stupid.
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Oct 20, 2016 15:54
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Troposphere posted:I had this when I was trying to be straight and it's like your vagina just clamps shut vicelike. it's severely unpleasant but I don't think she even got to the penetration part but I wouldn't doubt her having it Your post combined with your av makes me imagine a vagina as one of Junkrat's traps, which is really funny but also sad because having vaginismus must suck. Gaunab posted:diarrhea dog
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Oct 23, 2016 19:59
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what were the comments like
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:I left a pan on the stove for 3 days, that's just as bad right? My parents once left salmon in the oven for two weeks. That was pretty hosed up, especially since I was the one to find it when I visited.
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Oct 23, 2016 20:03
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Moon Atari posted:I interpreted him as being scared in a "oh poo poo I broke her mind, what happens now?" way rather than an "I am personally in danger" way. But he has still obviously lived a very sheltered life if he hasn't ever had to deal with someone getting messily emotional. Yeah I don't think he was scared of her kicking his rear end (or I hope not, heh), I think he was scared of the implication. Like, now he's got to spend the next few weeks looking over his shoulder, wondering if she's gonna a) lie to everyone he knows about how he cheated on her, b) fake a pregnancy, c) actually be pregnant, or d) straight up lose it and burn his house down. Seeing somebody have a meltdown isn't terrifying because you're worried about what they'll do in that moment; it's terrifying because you're realizing you thought you knew this person but you have no idea what they're capable of.
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Oct 24, 2016 17:59
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One of the guys at my dad's company got written up for casually dropping this bomb at an employee function: "Why don't Jews go down on women? Because the pussy is too close to the gas chamber." So let's recap here. We've got a) vulgar sexual commentary, b) jewish stereotyping, and c) holocaust joke (also a fart joke). It's like this dude went out of his way to find the worst possible joke he could possibly tell in a mixed environment. The only way he could have hosed up worse is if he'd followed it up with: 'Oh and by the way, I hate gays and black people'. I've said a lot of dumb poo poo before, but sometimes even I don't know what goes through people's heads.
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Oct 24, 2016 22:05
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poopnanners posted:what if i want a lot of sex with sluts Find a nerd with low self esteem, date them for a while, then tell them you love them but need to explore your sexuality with as many people as possible - but you don't want to break up. According to the mental gymnastics of everyone who has done this, you will instantly be drowning in rear end.
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Oct 25, 2016 15:18
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Boyfriend won't chop off his dick for my dad? What do?
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Oct 25, 2016 16:00
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Dial-a-Dog posted:100% this guy has a micro penis. "Oh god don't look at my 'semi-boner'" means "I'm rock hard and I don't want you to see how small this bulge is". Even if his whole no sex thing is "just" weiner insecurity, it sounds like he has such a complex over it that it would dominate any relationship he's in, that's probably why he doesn't have any I wish guys would realize that having a complex over small dick/bad performance is a thousand times worse than actually having a small dick/bad performance.
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Oct 25, 2016 19:07
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The secret to life is to assume that everyone you're not currently looking at is masturbating, and half the people you are looking at are masturbating as well.
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Oct 26, 2016 16:45
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loquacius posted:So wait is your Overwatch avatar and gang tag not necessarily related to your main character, and if not what is it, just like the one you like the best or what Mine is a Widowmaker tag.
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Oct 26, 2016 18:40
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loquacius posted:Also video games can be a better hobby than most w/r/t spending time with your S/O, because if they want to do something with you you can say "ok gimme ten minutes" and then be ready to go hahahaha just kidding they're two hours deep in the middle of an eight hour raid
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Oct 26, 2016 19:06
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Leon Einstein posted:I like how that guy cares more about his friend saying his girlfriend is in another guy's lap than his girlfriend actually being in some guy's lap. The difference is that she's doing it to earn a living, he's doing it to be an rear end in a top hat. It's a lot easier to rationalize one than it is the other.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:08
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Jenner posted:I tried to read it, I really did, but I got overwhelmed by second hand shame and embarrassment and had to stop. It reads like Fred Armisen wrote an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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Oct 31, 2016 00:49
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:what was her actual thought process? That's completely bonkers "Well, it worked on Sports Night..."
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Oct 31, 2016 06:14
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Jack Trades posted:I wish someone wouldn't stop doing my laundry. Yes, I think this is my ideal struggle to (not) overcome.
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Oct 31, 2016 19:47
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Pvt.Scott posted:She shoulda just rolled with it. You don't get to gently caress a dude wearing your own dress every day. Honest moment here: if I found my bf wearing one of my dresses, I'd be so pissed about him stretching the dress out that the sexual aspect wouldn't even rate. If you wanna get off in a dress, get your own god damned dress.
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Nov 1, 2016 20:57
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Goku-boy's OP brother should just tell the kid that every time he's good, it helps Gohan do better at his salaryman job. Bore to the kid into giving up on the show alltogether.
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Nov 2, 2016 15:12
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Mezzanon posted:Where was she hiding the gun? I submit to you that she had it stashed in her unusually large vagina.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:22
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Anony Mouse posted:This must have gotten deleted because I can't find it. Her boyfriend shouldn't have lied to her, but I think he did it to avoid facing the truth that his girlfriend is an awful money-grubbing selfish bitch. I mean usually when someone is narrating an event from their point of view they consciously or unconsciously try to make themselves look as good as possible, and she still comes across as shallow and insufferable. Instead of being grateful for the huge amount of costs he's already covering, she acts like he's a meal ticket who has been holding out on him. Sounds like a pretty clear cut situation of two people who don't belong together. He wants to save all his money/spend it on charities, she wants someone who will be open about their income (and who will spend money on her). He doesn't feel he can be honest with her, she feels betrayed because he lied. They'd both be happier if they broke up. Open and shut case.
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Nov 5, 2016 00:50
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I don't always audibly gasp when I read posts on SA, but when I do, it's because of extreme racism out of left field.
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Nov 6, 2016 22:25
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JFairfax posted:lol americans get raped on annual leave No poo poo, 9 days should be like a third of what you get in a given year. America's paid leave policies blow.
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Nov 7, 2016 19:48
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24 chairs, that's like enough for a dozen Brendles!
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Nov 8, 2016 00:45
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That's the best post history I've seen outside of TCC
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Nov 8, 2016 17:36
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