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I work for government which is its own special kind of stupid, but our director is a catastrophically bad administrator. I could fill pages with dumb poo poo we do. However, the best summation I can come up with is that it was decided to make a committee to improve employee morale since everyone is so miserable (this was pre-COVID). Let's see, what can we do? I know, let's have a pizza party in every office! Everyone likes pizza! We had to pay if we wanted pizza.
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Sep 21, 2021 17:57
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Lascivious Sloth posted:This is hilarious. Even at my company we sometimes just get delivery all from the same place and share some Pizzas. How is that a "party"? That's called splitting the bill, Lol
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Sep 21, 2021 18:26
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Volmarias posted:Don't be so hard on them, you were allocated an extra fifteen minutes of mandatory fun! 
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Sep 21, 2021 18:59
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Volmarias posted:What, and I apologize for taking so long to reach this point, the actual gently caress SubponticatePoster posted:our director is a catastrophically bad administrator
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Sep 22, 2021 01:37
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gschmidl posted:Let me top that one, actually.
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Oct 16, 2021 18:55
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ChairmanMauzer posted:That double punch of COVID panic and a loving earthquake in like a one-week span was real fun. Great to feel like the world was ending (and still have to work through it.) Lord Decimus Barnacle posted:Welcome to Utah
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Oct 16, 2021 20:38
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Machai posted:Staying ready to work? That sounds like being on call. If I am always on call, I better be paid for all that time. Combining with other themes, I had finally gotten a M-F 8-4 shift working for a city we contracted with. Everything was going swimmingly until we had a couple vacancies and so they had me cover one of the neighboring areas too, without telling the city. So suddenly I wasn't doing all the morning patrols and stuff and the city thought I was screwing off and complained. Instead of fessing up, they told the city they'd replace me. Told me on a Friday I was removed from the assignment and I needed to come in on Sunday. I told them it was bullshit and if they didn't fix it I'd quit. They didn't fix it, and I got my current job. Cue them being surprised when I told them I was leaving.
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Oct 18, 2021 16:29
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Marmaduke! posted:Lol my work is celebrating international men's day tomorrow 
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Nov 18, 2021 19:34
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TotalLossBrain posted:Update on this. Kid got an offer today for 43% over what he's making at the fab in the quotes above, in a nice union job with $1k sign-on bonus. 
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Dec 31, 2021 04:22
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MrYenko posted:On December 2, 2021, I made a request to have Adobe Reader DC installed on my work computer so I can actually open the briefings and memos I get sent. I did not have a computer on the first day. I also didn't have a phone (though this one isn't really a big deal, we communicate mostly through IM's, emails, and Google Meets). I got the laptop on the 2nd day, but did not have access to the drive folders I needed. Part of my job is checking proxy email accounts, which I also didn't have access to. My supervisor had put in the request the previous week. I was able to get access to the folders and set up in two other programs necessary for daily tasks, but not the program for running SQL queries which is a huge chunk of what we actually do. I also had to be given access to several other systems. Wednesday I could see drive folders, so I could start to learn how to do my job. Note: a lot of this consists of copying information from one folder in loving Notepad, then saving it elsewhere so someone else can look at it. Instead of, y'know, giving the person who needs to see the info access to that folder. The person in question is our Director of Finance, so it's not like she'd be in there vandalizing stuff. Also this stupid task is one of the most prioritized; if she doesn't have the info by 8:30 she'll start pelting you with emails. Friday I was told I now had access to the SQL program. I could log in, but didn't have permission to run queries. I sent an email to our DBA, who replied that she was including someone else in the convo and to reply all as she would be out of the office Xmas week. The other guy didn't reply. After my supervisor poking several people, going through another person (who roped in the original other guy who was supposed to help) I finally got access Thursday. The 30th. For something I need on a daily basis. Still can't save queries I'll use repeatedly, but I can run them. I do have Adobe Reader, though Some other fun facts about this job: We're officially known as "support" for our software, but we don't fix it if it breaks. That's another department. We mostly exist to test enhancements and run batches in the testing reason so a different team can see if something is working correctly. I did learn to run batches quickly once I got access, so that's been the bulk of what I've been doing besides c/p files. We have meetings with other departments that consist mostly of people going "I don't know where we are with this, we're waiting on 'X' to finish up their part." Person X is never in these meetings. I also found out they're ostensibly using Agile for project management, which made me go  after reading this thread. We have project management software and I can log into that. However, I can't see my team's stuff, just everyone else's.
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Jan 1, 2022 20:43
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Tying into 2 recent themes: I work for government, and it's always been expected that you will provide all your own office equipment and supplies if you telework. If you have an existing ergo keyboard or mouse you could take that with you, but not furniture. Because I live in a stupid right-wing state, they kicked most people out in March of 2020, but it still depends on your department. So for us, people who wouldn't normally be allowed to wfh like new hires still had to come into the office every day. Masks were required but that stopped in April because the legislature decided that covid was over. Vaccines also not required. If you said "hey, I can't work without this special chair/desk" then the reply would be "then you get to come in to work every day." Now our director has decided that it's a good time to bring all the people who normally don't wfh back in, and the ones that do have to come in twice what they used to. In the last 2 weeks we've had multiple covid cases in the building but this doesn't mean poo poo. I just changed jobs so I'm in every day. I fully expect to have it before the end of the month. Can't wait until someone dies as we have a lot of...we'll say people not in the best of health (older sedentary office workers) and I'm sure there are a few who aren't vaccinated at all.
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Jan 7, 2022 22:39
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Wendigee posted:Making ppl that wfh before COVID come in twice as often? Lol what kind of evil poo poo is this they trying to kill their workers? 
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Jan 8, 2022 01:33
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Powered Descent posted:You know, LibreOffice is almost as good as HEY WAIT COME BACK, WHAT DID I SAY
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Jan 27, 2022 05:02
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Yeah, nah, unless they are existing in maybe 2014 or so. We still have people using WordPerfect, lol.
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Jan 27, 2022 05:46
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We had to set up some new AWS thing and they said "for the port number just use any 5 digits except XXXXX which is already being used." Being a mature individual, of course I set my port number as 42069. And then because the instructions they gave us were absolutely terrible I ended up having to walk the rest of my team through it on a google meet so everyone got to see my setup. Luckily my boss was a fun dude with a sense of humor so he was giggling while the other two older ladies on the team didn't notice.
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Mar 26, 2022 00:38
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Scientastic posted:The correct answer to “how do you make a pb&j sandwich?” is
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Apr 9, 2022 02:16
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Sanctum posted:Employee appreciation pizza is the worst kind of pizza.
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Apr 15, 2022 17:14
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Cthulu Carl posted:We've had a rash of users bringing us PCs that have bugs crawling out of the keyboards (it's about 2-3 per month, wtf people?), Facilities has given us an "oven" (basically a collapsible insulated tent with a tiny space heater) and we've decided that any laptop that gets brought in for us to fix gets chucked in the oven for a half hour.  Where the gently caress do you work that there are multiple people bringing in insect riddled computer equipment?
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Apr 20, 2022 06:03
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Escape From Noise posted:Looks like it's time for another Agile Fight! Full disclosure: I basically have no idea what it is. hth
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Apr 26, 2022 01:07
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kdrudy posted:20 years ago is this day and age?
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Apr 26, 2022 02:14
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Escape From Noise posted:Time to make the Cock-tail beer we talked about making at the place I was at in Seattle. (Each brewer dips their dick in) It sounds to me like your main problem is that the people telling you what to do have no loving clue as to how you actually make beer. I'm only a hobbyist but all these proposals as to putting random poo poo in beer are Tell your idiot boss(es) that if they want to try weird poo poo that's fine, but you're going to do very small test batches (like 5-10 gallons at a time) in buckets so you're not clogging up your production lines and wasting a shitton of ingredients on beer that will probably be undrinkable and screw up the things you can make well. "Beer requires fermentation. Fermentation takes time. If I have hundreds of gallons of your experimental tunafish and peanut butter triple-dick IPA taking up space in our fermenters then I can't make that one beer that actually sells and makes you money; not to mention all the product waste when we inevitably have to dump it down the drain and hope we're not overrun by stray cats." Or if he's like most bosses and will lose his poo poo at the slightest suggestion that maybe he doesn't know what the gently caress he's talking about, then couch it as "ooh, that's something I've never thought of. Tell you what, let me get some materials from our supplier and make a few gallons in case the flavor profile isn't what you were aiming for so we don't hold up our latest batch of our high-performing product."
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Apr 26, 2022 18:21
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We accrue 4 hours of sick leave per pay period, and like a lot of places if you're out more than 3 days you'll need a doctor's note. Prior to 2006 every 8 hours you accrued could be used to purchase a month's worth of insurance so if you retire before Medicare kicks in you would still have coverage. Then from 2006-2013 any sick accrued they'll put into an HSA for you. Post-2013 you don't get dick for it. There's no limit to the amount you can accrue but you lose it all when you leave. Strangely, since this policy has gone into effect people seem to get sick a lot in the months before they retire... 
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May 9, 2022 19:46
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YeahTubaMike posted:I'm sorry if I missed this, but does anyone else work at a company where they hired waves and waves of new people so it ended up that there were whole departments of people who had -- at most -- 4-ish months of experience? As of right now, we still haven't hired a manager for the team. Nobody in the agency really has any idea what we actually do. The team itself is heavily siloed, to the point where I only have vague ideas of what the other folks' day to day duties are. We're supposed to provide support and testing for our custom-built system that was only switched over from a COBOL mainframe in 2020. When we do hire a manager, we'll have to "train" them, and I put that in quotation marks because since me and the other guy only got 1-2 months of any real instruction we really don't know wtf is going on. Plus we have to hire a new person to replace the lady who's retiring. I was supposed to learn a portion of her job duties so I could teach the new person how to do them, except there's been a fuckup in another agency and our database isn't properly communicating with their database so we haven't been able to do any real work for like 2 weeks. Compound that with our stupid Republican legislature passing a new law that says anyone hired for a managerial position after July 1st will be at-will so the only applicants will be desperate or insane. There's literally no manual or policy on how to do our jobs - everything has been imparted by word of mouth and then people write stuff down. Most times when I'm trying to figure out how to do something I have to go digging through ex-employees notes saved on a drive somewhere and hope they make sense to me So yeah, I get where you're coming from.
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May 27, 2022 17:35
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Escape From Noise posted:I'd like to try a barley wine, but it can be a hard sell. That said, at our size it wouldn't be the biggest gamble. Hell, we could arguably cellar some leftover bottles and kegs for a year if it wasn't too much volume. So you've got a style of wine that is apparently quite popular in Japan, that does not require long-term storage for aging, and may be producible with concentrates that are already being made and with existing equipment. Whether you actually want to pass any of that information along to your bosses is up to you.
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May 30, 2022 19:24
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Neito posted:Had a VP on a department-wide all-hands, when asked basically "Why are our raises not keeping place with inflation and why should I stay at this company" basically say "If you don't like it here, leave, I'm gonna do what I think should be done" and go on a huge rant about how the job market is tightening up and how they're going to start pushing people to go back to the office and some bullshit about how people are less productive from home and all that dumb poo poo we've been hearing from people who really just want to see a sea of peons clacking away on keyboards to justify their existance.
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Jun 7, 2022 17:13
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goatface posted:It doesn't, just most of it is never properly attacked. Automated probing is everywhere.  I actually just got a raise, since we're merging with another department and people who do the equivalent of my job over there get paid more. Then also in the email from the director she asked that some people didn't need a raise to be at the minimum level (and of course those people won't be getting a bump because lol government budgets) so to please be sensitive to the feelings of others and try not to discuss it. Since I'm a government employee my wages are posted publicly online. 
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Jun 11, 2022 02:53
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vyst posted:Organic, free range H2O only for my pristine goon body blackmet posted:Today was my first day doing reconciliation reports.
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Jul 5, 2022 21:07
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Friend you need to go get a job at a McDonald's or Starbucks; chances no matter where you are in the world there will be one of these around. It'll be a poo poo job but a different kind of poo poo than literal poo poo in the unflushed toilet and not getting paid.
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Jul 28, 2022 16:50
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Atopian posted:And so, HR policy from Monday is to require all employees to take a photo of the... results of their bathroom breaks and forward them to the appropriate inbox for confirmation.
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Aug 26, 2022 17:15
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Machai posted:I never knew there was so much bureaucracy behind erotic roleplay.
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Sep 14, 2022 00:48
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We're moving from our lovely old office building to a shiny new one. The official move date for everyone is the 14th, and we've been told to make sure our cubicles are cleaned out and all personal stuff gone by next Thursday since Friday is a holiday. Cool, great, good, because other than a nice view from the 9th floor where I sit, the building is an absolute dumpster. The water comes out of the faucets brownish and sometimes with chunks in it, and in the 17 years I've worked there they have never once cleaned the air ducts that I know of. Also there is no hot water in the bathrooms, except somehow they managed to pipe hot water into one of the toilets on the top floor  Anyway, last week my manager asks if any of us would be willing to go to the new building early (next week) to make sure the network is functioning. I say sure why not. Yesterday I get told "uh, hey, I know tomorrow is WFH day for you, but can you go into the new office tomorrow? Come into the old one, pack up all your stuff and take it over." Eh, ok, whatevs. Everyone else gets their stuff moved for them but other than the very large monitor I have nothing is particularly unwieldy so I'm not super put out. Get some critical work done this morning from the old office, then spend about 45 minutes completely cleaning out my cubicle including all the cables and UPS, plus my personal coffee pot and loading up my car via a cart. Get to the new building. The one we're currently in has a multistory parking garage attached to the building, the new place just has a very large parking lot. So loading the car was easy, but unloading it would not be. Also the parking lot accesses the building via a set of stairs unless you park in the handicapped spaces. There's a loading dock, but it's elevated for a semi truck and not a personal vehicle. There's a side drive leading to the loading dock and an employee entrance there, but also accessed by stairs. I take my laptop bag up with me and dump that in my new cubicle on the 4th floor. Then go move my car from the lot to the side entrance, go back upstairs and get the tiny lovely cart they sent over and take it down the elevator to where the car is parked and start loading it. This side entrance doesn't have the powered doors the main entrance does so I have to juggle a 32" curved monitor as I get the door open. Plus it's too big for the cart to place on its side so I have to stand it up and worry about keeping it from falling off while pushing the cart. After I get the rest of the poo poo on the cart, take it back upstairs to my cubicle, then go downstairs again to move my car back to the main lot. Once all that's done then I have to plug in the UPS, all the cords and cables and finally get everything hooked up. What I thought would take about 20 minutes has now taken an hour. Finally, I get logged on and I can't access our software application that it's my job to work in and troubleshoot for the agency. I can get in the production version, but not the testing region and we have a major testing thing going on Monday so I'm supposed to be setting up files in there. So I IM my boss "Hey I can't get into the system." Get told to put in a ticket. I call the help desk, the guy remotes in tries a few things and then says "ok, well let me get you over to [system] support" I tell the dude I am When I get back the only other person in the office tells me they know the network is broken and a ticket was put in several days ago, and I can probably access the testing region through our VPN. But I can't. I get back into our group chat, and my manager says "so since you can't get in and this is a known issue they should have told me about before I asked you to go over there, just go home and finish out the day there and then don't come in next week at all unless we get confirmation that it's fixed." Some consolation I guess, but congrats to the IT team that said "sure, go ahead and send someone over" when it was known the network was hosed up. I guess we're hooked up to the wrong VLAN so we don't have the security clearance to access our testing region. It's extra hilarious because I can access production with no issue, that has real people's sensitive info but not the version where everything is made up. Woo!
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Nov 5, 2022 01:09
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Aramoro posted:You can make JIRA do what you want and to be honest it's decent.
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Jan 27, 2023 00:15
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Handsome Ralph posted:Stolen from Reddit I did get into a bit of a slapfight over the requirement to install a privacy screen on my monitor. The things suck and end up peeling off anyway. "You have to put this on your home stuff so no one can look over your shoulder." "I live alone." "Put it on anyway." "OK." (I took it and then threw it behind the bookcase in the guest room)
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Feb 6, 2023 07:20
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~Coxy posted:A well liked, respected and knowledgeable manager put in his 4 weeks notice. I work for state government. We recently moved from a leased office building to a state-owned one. The building itself has been around a very long time - it got built when I was a kid and I'm  , but they basically completely gutted it and started over. They installed a nice large awning over the entranceway. Except they didn't actually attach it to the building, so there's about a two foot gap. Because of this water drips off the awning onto the sidewalk. Right in front of the doors. Guess what happens when it gets really cold? Waiting for some member of the public going to the DLD or DMV to take a huge pratfall and gently caress themselves up, costing the state thousands of dollars.
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Feb 18, 2023 21:07
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Volmarias posted:Have they tried having a pizza party yet? They should try having a pizza party. Have a pizza party and make the employees pay if they wanted pizza.
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Mar 17, 2023 07:27
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TaurusTorus posted:The mental image of no employees paying and all the pizza being thrown out is hilarious to me. Cyrano4747 posted:This is really common with government jobs. Basically there were regulations put in place after scandals about My TAX DOLLARS paying for a few senior people to hold a ten minute meeting over a weekend in Vegas, and as a result the office workers in the Fed Paperwork Factory need to all chip in out of their own pockets if they want a two pizzas in the lunchroom Christmas party.
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Mar 17, 2023 19:00
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We had a water club at our previous building, but that was because the building had the worst water. Sometimes things would be floating in it, sometimes it would come out of the taps with a lovely brown tint. We moved to a new location in November and the water there is fine, so we ditched the cooler rental.
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Mar 19, 2023 17:37
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MrQwerty posted:What in the blue blazes is this poo poo Like, I worked in that building from Dec 2005 up until we moved last November, and not once did they ever clean the ductwork 
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Mar 19, 2023 22:58
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MrQwerty posted:oh yeah anything dealing with personal data should be on site and on camera, 24/7.
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Mar 22, 2023 01:13
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Should've called it Cyberdunkel 2077
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Mar 31, 2023 17:35
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