r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Baron von Eevl posted:

"I just trespassed and destroyed my neighbor's property, in the process likely impacting their business. They have records of my interactions complaining about the tree, but just to be safe I should probably also post about this on a public forum."

"Also, I kept the wood, which is almost certainly being stored on my land and is easily visible."

Did anyone crosspost this to the legal advice forum? Those cats loving love tree law cases.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2022 19:51

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 12:22

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

CommissarMega posted:

What does 'complain about the z's' mean? I thought the chuds were all for Russia?

"Z's" = "Zoomers" = "kids today"

# ¿ Jul 31, 2022 16:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

That's some powerful "one weird trick" energy, there.

Negotiate a bill-sharing arrangement around relative income, and then cut your income to $0 and enjoy six months of relaxation! Boyfriends hate it!

Also LOL at bragging about how much more you've struggled and achieved relative to your diffident silver-spoon partner even though he's the one putting on his pants and heading off to work every morning while you laze about.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2022 20:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

CitizenKain posted:

I want to know how homeboy was defeated by toast.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2022 21:25

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

haveblue posted:

Almost every time a kidney donation story comes up, someone mentions you can tell the doctor you don't want to do it and they'll report that you're not compatible. Is that an urban legend or did this guy just not know about it?

Sounds like he didn't have a chance - the mother handled the blood test and got the results (which is entirely above-board - the kid is a minor and the mom is the guardian parent).

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 18:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Foo Diddley posted:

you did choose, OP; you've consistently chosen between your daughters for years

Mom's slippery memory is pretty impressive. I don't even know why Sarah hates Erika! I asked her once and she straight-up told me and she showed me the literal screenshots but still!

# ¿ Aug 10, 2022 22:00

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Tech startup work culture is terrible in many ways, but the prevalence of wAcKy tItLeS just might be the single worst thing about it. Look at me, I'm the Chief Fun Officer!

# ¿ Aug 11, 2022 00:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Darn, can't search for it. Was looking forward to the comments.

Looks like it's here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wl67h2/aita_for_sending_an_employee_home_to_change/

# ¿ Aug 11, 2022 00:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

That woman whose fiance cancelled all of the vegan meal items behind her back posted an update just now (tl;dr - it's over)

UPDATE: AITA for flipping out on my fiance for cancelling all the vegan food options from our wedding food menu behind my back?

quote:

So, the talk didn't go well. I waited for him to come home so we could have a final conversation about it "but" he still insisted on his stance.

for more details, his family are a bit on the heavy side (most of them are obese). Nothing wrong with that, they're perfectly within their right to decide how to live but they get "easily offended" at the mention of the words "weight" & "food".

I tried so hard to focus on the issue at hand, but I noticed there was a pattern of this behavior. he said it wasn't true, and that this was just an attempt for me to throw past conflicts at him in order to win the current one. he claimed he tried to reason with me about why and how his guests might see those vegan options as "offensive", also said that his family love food and consider it a "big deal", and how he didn't want his family to feel like there's certain options that they "couldn't touch" and feel that there's "difference in how I treat them vs how I treat my family"..... he then went on to explain how it's just an event and how my family should just accept what's on the menu and if they felt "inconvinience" so what? it's just a one time thing, they're not gonna die if they "had salad and appetizers". What he said wasn't good enough reason for me cause his folks are gonna think & say what they want, but at the end of the day it's my wedding!!!. and to be honest, realizing that my partner himself thinks it's okay to steamroll my opinions and decisions simply because..he's prioritizing others and their opinions over me was really upsetting and not something that could be looked past.

normally, I'm a person of rational discussions and compromises...I'm ALL about compromises, I'd compromised on much bigger matters than just food but like people said....it's not about the food anymore (if it ever was!!)like...he'd literally lose nothing if he let me have what I wanted but apparently, he was willing to lose it all over this which's fine by me.

I gave him back the ring and called everything off. I just couldn't envision myself living like this any longer..having to walk on eggshells for his family and letting him basically override my opinions and have the final say nomatter what. marriage is about compromise and here he has nothing to lose yet chose to do this to me and my family. mind you this is my first serious relationship and I didn't know what to expect, but it's safe to say that he and his mom and FAMILY did make it feel like I was taking crazy pills on many many ocassions so that's that. Last thing he said was that I chose my family over him and ended everything between for the sake of "keeping 'em happy". Decision's been made and it's done.

Just wanted to give an update to those who wanted it. thank you so much for your endless stream of advice and support.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2022 17:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Evil Willow posted:

r/relationships: I am not getting rid of the lockbox.

r/relationships: He also sent a couple voice messages of him just sobbing.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2022 01:49

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for going to a family wedding my brother wasn't invited?

I'm the "very cool" Aunt who, like all "very cool" people, is extremely judgmental and pretentious. That's what the kids today mean when they call someone "very cool", right?

# ¿ Aug 25, 2022 16:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Neito posted:

Nobody's getting an immediate seven days notice just for some loving tuna. Dude's definitely had problems before and they were just looking for a paper trail to deny him unemployment.

The fact that even HR was like "what the gently caress is that smell?" probably helped expedite the process.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2022 16:12

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Agrikk posted:

One time I painted the room I was staying in and people got really mad.

I don't understand it because up until then the owner of the Air BnB was very nice to me.

I'm digging the idea that the house owner should have "compromised". Like allowing the stepsister to paint only the bottom half of the room, or something, I guess?

# ¿ Aug 26, 2022 16:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I wonder if he meant 250 on the individual totals, so 2500?

Gambling/drugs/camgirl/mobilegame debt detected.

e: Also possibly crypto/memestock

# ¿ Aug 26, 2022 20:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Barudak posted:

Dad made himself the perfect trust

Working exactly as intended when it was set up - "Honey, you know I'd love to leave everything to you - really I would! - but my mean children control the trust and there's nothing I can do. Now stop stewing and come to bed."

# ¿ Aug 31, 2022 17:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

She disappeared for all the hard parts of parenting but now that all that is over she wants back in, especially if she can bask in the reflected glory of her child's achievements.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 06:06

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

"M" isn't actually pregnant, is she?

# ¿ Sep 5, 2022 07:48

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Arsenic Lupin posted:

e: Posting because I am baffled by the italicized phrase (italics not original).

Urban Dictionary has a number of definitions, mostly in alignment with "The act of flicking a fat kid's boob to where it jiggles, in a manner as if you were dipping a chip into bean dip"

# ¿ Sep 7, 2022 05:33

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Mr. Lobe posted:

She's young, she will learn.

Forget the long con - if the fool tips, you're caught - you'll do time. Never do time. And don't go dressin' like that, showin' off! Any blind man can spot you.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2022 20:53

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Scipiotik posted:

Bless people who can listen to audiobooks, my attention wanders too much. I wish I were wired differently.

Audiobook apps on smartphones let you speed up the playback while also removing long pauses and adjusting the output so it doesn't sound like it's being read by a chipmunk, give that a try.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2022 20:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Motronic posted:

I want to respect their desire for space

I respect their desire for space by constantly blowing up their phones with texts that they keep asking me to stop sending.

quote:

...while still trying to prove to them that they are the most important people in my life.

But they're not the most important people in your life. You are the most important person in your life. You wrote multiple paragraphs proudly proclaiming it!

quote:

Because I didn�t end the relationship with my now boyfriend, they do not accept that they are my priority.

Oh, word?

# ¿ Sep 19, 2022 17:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Blood? Blood. Crimson, citrus-smelling blood, her blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. And bits of fruit.

Passersby Were Amazed by the Unusually Large Amounts of Blood

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 04:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

AngryRobotsInc posted:

I assumed that was the case from the jump, basically. I halfway believe the other orders didn't actually happen.

The way she went from claiming she had so many orders for gluten-free cakes that she ran through her ingredients before she could get to the OP's cake to crying about how she was really really counting on that wedding cake money would seem to indicate that.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 17:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Soylent Pudding posted:

Dale was so furious [with his ex-wife] he told her that he would be calling his mother to see if someone actually cared about his feelings.

Ahahahahahaha oh man.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2022 02:25

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Barudak posted:

Oh come on, give me the follow up

OP posted in the comments

OP posted:

The reaction after the wedding is that I shouldn't have run off without telling anyone, I upset Diedre by not taking pictures, but I've also seen pictures on Facebook and they look fine. They don't necessarily look professionally shot or edited, but the ones I took wouldn't have either. But that's why I'm posting here because the general consensus from Diedre's family and friends is that I let her down and should have been there. I keep turning it over in my head, like maybe I should have stayed and shot a few photos and then left.

Meskhenet posted:

wouldnt be surpirsed if the paid photographers got unsick.....

It was clearly a put-up job. OP was only in the bridal party because the bride's sister Ashley was unsure if she'd be able to make it, and once Ashley was able to confirm her attendance the group came up with this brilliant plan to swap the OP out and replace her. The way they sent her out to walk around the building and then immediately set upon her when she got back pretty much gives the game away.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2022 09:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Foo Diddley posted:

I hope not. I am willing to talk to her and try to come to some kind of resolution. She won�t talk to me.

I love it when the person who is 1000% in the wrong is all "I am willing to have a conversation about this, but the other party refuses to even talk to me! They're so unreasonable!"

# ¿ Sep 25, 2022 05:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Solenna posted:

You can buy light up alarms with a light that gradually turns on before the alarm goes off so it's nice and bright in your room by the time you have to wake up. I'm a big fan of them.

Sunrise alarms kick rear end, especially in the dead of winter.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2022 20:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

LawfulWaffle posted:

What�s with all these posts where a bad take is shared through a family at light speed and has everyone calling and sending them messages to admonish them? Seems so strange that everyone would feel the need to chime in on something that doesn�t affect them, is that what families do? Am I weird for talking to family around holidays and being mostly radio silent otherwise? If I heard my cousin said something mean to my aunt I wouldn�t dream of texting my cousin to chew her out.

As soon as Mom got inside she hopped on facebook/email/groupchat and told her (extremely one-sided) version of the story to every family member (except the OP) on her contact list.

It's a common abuse technique, often referred to as "releasing the flying monkeys"

# ¿ Sep 28, 2022 20:08

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

This sentence threw me:

quote:

I was blown away by how much money she spent on yarn this year, close to $500

and I was "gosh, I'll bet he'd have no problem dropping $500 on a PS5 or a new graphics card for himself", but the sentence kept going

quote:

and even though it's mostly not her money I was just flabbergasted.

It's not even her/their money!

Combination of: he's pissy that his GF has developed something she enjoys in her life that is outside of his control or concern, and his perfectly logical beep boop giant science genius male nerd brain can't understand why someone would want a blanket with holes in it. Silly girl, the holes let all the heat out! Even your objectively smaller female brain should be able to understand that!

# ¿ Sep 29, 2022 16:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Foo Diddley posted:

if he has the money for a "sizeable rent", how come he can't find anywhere to go? like what did this guy do that no landlord in a decent neighborhood will take his money?

Ockham's Razor would point to him saying he has the money for a sizeable rent, but not actually having it.

I wonder where dear old mom and dad are in this situation? Surely they wouldn't leave their favored golden child (and sole grandchild!) to live in the streets. OP passes right by it, just saying "my mother and Nick [stepdad] aren't an option" which tells me there is a real juicy story being elided here.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2022 16:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

kdrudy posted:

I like the casual acknowledgment that they would use money to control her if they could.

Yeah, you could definitely hear OP's teeth grinding when she wrote "They live together, which we don�t agree with, but she�s financially independent."

I'm also digging the amount left unsaid in the phrase "I�ll admit I could have phrased it better, but"

# ¿ Oct 5, 2022 16:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not backing up for my family after my wife giggled at their news

This guy is 100% in the right for what he did and the decision he made, but he blew a chance for an all time hall of fame earth-scorcher of a Best Man's Speech/Toast.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2022 06:46

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

AITA for giving my brother and his wife 2 days to return my piano?

Om nom nom this hand is so delicious you can still taste the faux ivory.

This story pissed me off more than the usual "bite the hand" story and I think it's because the brother and SIL are trying to muscle up on a grieving widow who lives alone, figuring they could menace and steamroller her into doing what they want, and they are genuinely surprised that she was willing to push back and assert herself (to the point of bringing in the cops).

As usual, the rest of family's fury at the OP for not housing the abusive deadbeats is not matched by a willingness to open their own homes up to said deadbeats.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2022 16:23

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

AITA for forcing my aunt to buy my cousin my car even though it's totaled

The car is a write off. It is two years old. She ended up giving me the money for it. It means that my cousin will have to rent, boo hoo, instead of having a down payment for a home here. His dad is pissed. At him not me.

Another appearance of the semi-mythical Good Dad (and it's not even the OP's dad!)

B-Rock452 posted:

Yeah I rarely go to Reddit but I have that thread bookmarked because I really want those shitheads to be in jail... What the hell kind of person does that

I got the faint sense that selling off the piano was a test run for demanding the whole-rear end house be given to them. If OP let the piano thing slide, then they would (with help from the family) hit her with how unfair it is that she gets to live alone in a big house while the brother and SIL and kids have to share a bunch of rooms, and really doesn't it make sense for OP to move out and let the brother take over the house because his need is so much greater than hers?

I'm reminded that the historical definition of "witch" was, functionally, "a widow that owns property."

# ¿ Oct 11, 2022 17:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

AITA for turning down a request to attend my sister's daughter's birthday and make her a cake?

Your sister wants to know if you're seeing anyone so she can steal him too.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2022 19:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

r/relationships: However, Carl decided to go a step further and set Brad�s car on fire.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2022 16:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Defiance Industries posted:

You don't get to go to the party if you don't sit through the boring ceremony, you idiot. I thought everyone knew that.

Sis is absolutely going to crash the reception and count on the family to :decorum:

the bride into letting her stay. OP should get ready for that.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2022 21:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The 'college bully' story has some updated info

quote:

Edit to answer people's questions

-This all happened about 7 years ago and went on for a few months

-I said in a comment that Jen tried to dm Liz but she blocked her, Jen also tried to apologize in person but Liz ignored her, that's why she tried to dm. Liz replied back before blocking, like 'I appreciate you reaching out but I don't really want to talk to you'

-Some comments asking for the extent of the bullying. So this other girl was kind of the 'ringleader', a couple of guys and then Jen. Liz is smart and very beautiful, they'd call her names, say she was wh*ring around, things like that. The major incident, as I've heard it is that the others tried to hold her down and put lemon juice in her eyes. She has big green eyes that they were jealous of. Thankfully Liz managed to get away before anything major happened. Jen was not there when this happened, she didn't know about it and was horrified. She cut off all contact with those 'friends'

...that had to be pulled from rareddit because the OP has been shadowbanned and all his posts removed.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2022 06:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for letting the kids play Calvinball /All American.

Having fun without a rigid rules structure enforced?! Not on my watch!

What a joyless prick, and an almost perfect caricature of a PE teacher.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2022 16:30

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 12:22

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

A PE teacher should be happy that a bunch of kids are running around being active and whooping and having fun instead of being glued to their screens and transforming into perfect spheres. But no, it's all wrong unless some adult is blowing a whistle and yelling about offsides.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2022 16:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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