r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

kntfkr posted:

Everyone below this post is an rear end in a top hat.

gently caress

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 11:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:29

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Bibliotechno Music posted:

Hooray new thread! Loving the classics. Does anyone have the story where the woman completely changes herself after marriage, because she thinks wives are supposed to be blonde, subservient, well-dressed and made-up Stepfords?

Ffffrrreeeesssshhh content, different kind of wife:

Had a fight with my (26m) wife (35f), didnt find out what was wrong until i checked the security cameras.

quote:

she had always told me the long nights of gaming are due to her fear of the sun. i believed her, i didnt know it was because she played until she got so angry she got physically sick

Holy poo poo im dying

# ¿ Oct 20, 2021 15:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

what's it called when it's not quite a laugh, but a wheeze of exhausted recognition?

Breathing.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 04:27

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Evil Willow posted:

Aita for pawning cards?

Bolding and paragraphs mine.

This reminds me of a clip from some antiques roadshow-esque show I recently watched on youtube, featuring a woman bringing her husbands magic the gathering collection, which turned out consisted of extreme limited edition early 90s beta cards worth an estimated $100k. Much to her shock :stare:

Anyway yea your the rear end in a top hat

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 07:04

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Barudak posted:

Cockblox'd.

Lol

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 13:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

My name is Beejohn Shrimpman.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 13:42

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

No no you don't understand honey, it's not sexist! I simply believe that as a woman, you are inferior to me!

# ¿ Nov 12, 2021 16:38

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Brawnfire posted:

Yo Pavarotti I let the singing in the shower slide but drat bro you're killing me

Nobody wants to hear Pavarotti in the drippini.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2021 21:57

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Half a month

# ¿ Nov 13, 2021 22:32

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Thumbtacks posted:

Can someone ost the story where op had to share a room for a business trip and would only go if everyone promised to not jerk off in the room with him and he couldn’t figure out why that annoyed people

Lol

# ¿ Nov 14, 2021 13:41

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

kalel posted:

Absolutely incredible thread title

Hard agree

# ¿ Nov 15, 2021 20:09

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Evil Willow posted:

Long read, but well worth it!

My [34/M] girlfriend [34/F] girlfriend of two years doesn't want us to live together nor make any kind of compromise about our living situation.

This dude sounds like a boring, terrible dweeb. I hope she dumps him and lives her best life.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2021 10:48

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Dramatika posted:

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

It’s like the matrix but she’s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it’s best to miss

I don't know what the hell I just read but whatever it is should be illegal.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2021 21:19

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I've known several parents who name their kids then call them by their middle name. It always perplexed me. If you wanted to call them that why didn't you make it their first name?

gotta keep em on their toes

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 07:07

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Quackles posted:

As interesting a plan as this is, don't bats bring risks of rabies and coronavirus?

(I'm completely serious!)

Just don't lick, eat, suck on, or gently caress the bats???

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 08:34

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Soylent Pudding posted:

My fat American rear end spent a month in Australia and one of the first things I noticed was how many foods tasted less sweet. It was wonderful and I was disappointed to get back stateside with the now firsthand knowledge of how everything is corn juice infused.

I did not lick a cane toad.

Licking toads is perfectly safe and legal, unlike bats.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 15:53

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

r/relationships: apostasy and divorce allowed us to make up for lost time

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 00:21

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Invisible Clergy posted:

So she did. Thanks!

AITA for getting mad at my husband for waking someone up at the movie theater?

OP sucks unimaginably. Her husband acted in a surprisingly compassionate manner toward someone making noise during a movie, the worst thing any person can do. Maybe she didn't intend to fall asleep and wanted to watch the movie she paid to see.

Sever

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 13:59

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

sugar mouse posted:

Even if it is pretty gross to share a fork with your dog, going and shouting at random strangers in a park is massively AH behaviour here.

Also the smoking couple are both AH. I smoke but my other half doesn't and it's easy to find ways to compromise like not smoking in the house, brushing your teeth before anything intimate etc.

Nah the smoker is the rear end in a top hat in that story, by a wide margin.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 14:21

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Uncle ShortyB posted:

Boyfriend (22M) doesn’t like the fact that I (20F) call my dad “daddy”. So he pulled a humiliating ‘prank’ to embarrass me

What the entire gently caress. Just let your parents murder this man jesus loving christ why would anyone think this is okay in any particular sense.

I hope there was an update to this where she chaos dunks her hopefully ex boyfriend into the nearest dumpster

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 17:58

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

My grandma had a WWII story where they were potentially dealing with German spies while all the men were off at War where she and any of the other kids over nine spent a night locked, loaded and ready to light up anything that might try to come through a window or door.

My grandmas ww2 stories involved fleecing the young, handsome german soldiers out of their petty cash, cigarettes and stockings :stare:

# ¿ Nov 21, 2021 18:10

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for taking leftovers home?
I(32F) and my husband(35M) have been married for 3 years. I gained a ton of weight through my life and got weight loss surgery in 2019. The surgery shrank my stomach and I can't eat a ton. I do enjoy the meals by ordering smaller portions.

My husband hates it when I order food and take it home. He thinks it's a waste of food and money. We recently went out to dinner with friends and I ordered a chicken dish. I felt full and asked if I could get a box. The waitress brings me over a box and I see my husband roll his eyes. He looks at the rest of the food and says there are a ton of people that would appreciate receiving a meal. I started to feel embarrassed and apologized to my friends.

On our way home, husband and I got into a huge argument about the evening. He tells me that going out to eat isn't enjoyable since I got the surgery. AITA?

[/quote]

Your husband is a feeder and is mad you won't gain more weight. Divorce

# ¿ Nov 22, 2021 15:52

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for setting boundaries with my stepson?

Lol. Come on dude

# ¿ Nov 24, 2021 17:57

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

a podcast for cats posted:

The implied things there are that the wife is likely a SAHM, given their lack of options for daytime care and they're either reasonably well off and/or live somewhere in Europe, as the flights were bought for next week. In the latter case, you may not be excited about going to Italy, it's nice, but not all that special or even cracked up to be. And, flights are really cheap when they're on sale.

I'm really trying to give the guy benefit of doubt, because, in all honesty, after nearly 2 years of Covid with a toddler in the house, I'd give up my left nut to get the house to myself for a week and, if English is not his first language, he may not be aware of the semantics of "babysitting" vs "parenting", but he does sound like a dipshit who bought a gift for himself and is perplexed when his wife doesn't appreciate that.

He can't cheat if he has to actually take care of his own child while the wife is in Italy.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2021 11:26

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I have a spanish and a norwegian last name, and my son now has a spanish, norwegian and scottish last name. There's a hyphen in there somewhere.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2021 18:10

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Get out of my son

# ¿ Dec 12, 2021 18:22

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

QuarkJets posted:

I don't think that's the same thing as "I don't give a poo poo about my dumb sister's cancer treatment"

It's worse.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2021 02:12

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Computer viking posted:

I believe you (it'd be a really pointless thing to make up), but uh you're allergic to gold? I'd love to see the biochemistry of that.

Duergar have racial weakness towards gold, but not mithril

# ¿ Dec 15, 2021 17:59

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pookah posted:

I used to have a really weird thing where occasionally all my silver jewellery would turn black overnight. It'd be completely untarnished for weeks or months, then BLAM totally black.
My mother used to have the same weirdness, but it stopped happening sometime in her late 20s/early 30s.
My own silver weirdness stopped happening at pretty much the same age, so we assume it's some kind of hormonal/body chemistry thing

You and your family are tainted, and when in the presence of holy metals your evil will become apparent.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2021 18:27

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pope Hilarius II posted:

Something similar happened on SA as well. It was weird.

One of my best friends has a "difficult" daughter like that and my godmother has had 25+ years of trouble with a son like that. Neither are bad parents, in fact rather the opposite. The dad in this story was way out of line for saying that to his son and of course we're only hearing his part of the story, but best believe that there are some kids with normal cognitive abilities and no obviously treatable mental problems who simply seem to have been "born difficult" and who make raising them a near-impossible task for their parents.

Per that dudes post, he and the mom tried helping the kid by making him run off energy, and when that didn't work they became alcoholics. I feel confident in saying the parents are the assholes here.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 01:02

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

I’ve only had two serious migraines in my life, and anyone that thinks you can just walk that poo poo off can get hosed sideways.

I had my first migraine ever a couple of weeks ago, and if someone had told me to just man up and walk it off you pussy, I would probably have attacked them... if I was able to walk straight, and see them, and not in crippling pain.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 10:35

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pretendious: someone too dumb to be pretentious

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 18:05

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

What the hell kind of friends even want to crash your honeymoon, what the gently caress?

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 18:20

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

ShootaBoy posted:

Also its nothing like the movies, it takes like 10 minutes to bleed out from something major.

Those are rookie numbers dude, I bet I could bleed out way faster.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 18:24

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Hellblazer187 posted:

The thief is always 100% the rear end in a top hat.

That doesn't mean people can't take precautions to protect themselves. I was a victim of a mugging once. I walked down the street at like 7:30 at night, with my entire wallet, which contained all my cards, and my phone. I wanted to get one candy bar. Anyways three dudes surrounded me and the middle one put a knife on my belly and they took my stuff. It took weeks to get my cards back (since I'm gringo and do all my banking in the US, but don't live in the US). It really sucked to have no access to accounts for like two weeks. From that I learned I don't go walking after dark in this area, and that I should always leave at least one or two cards at home, I don't need all of them in my wallet at once. I was not at fault for getting mugged. I wasn't even at fault for having all my cards on me at once. But, I learned it's not safe to do that because assholes exist.

I would never save nudes of myself or anyone else on my phone. If I did happen to have those or other private info on my phone, I would not give another person unsupervised access to my phone. Even someone I trusted, since they might see something I wanted to keep private 100% accidentally.

So... you deserved to be robbed is what youre saying?

# ¿ Dec 20, 2021 16:09

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

cumshitter posted:

You can even designate a third party to receive the items upon the gift receiver's death and make your best friends' last acts on earth aggressive gift giving.

Lol that owns

# ¿ Dec 21, 2021 12:05

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Vitruvian Manic posted:

Is the mother of the bride paying for the wedding? If so, the memorial table is lovely but absolutely something she can do. That said, it is considered best practice to make the bride the focus of the wedding day not a massive gaping open wound of a psyche.

The mom is for sure not paying for the wedding. She's just a bad, insane mom.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2021 21:22

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Brooke's ghost hanging out there like, gently caress mom I just wanna go let me gooooooo

lmfao

# ¿ Dec 21, 2021 21:49

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

MarcusSA posted:

Always take the fuckin money

# ¿ Dec 22, 2021 03:41

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:29

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

webmeister posted:

Yeah I kinda realise nothing will be enough to satisfy psycho mum, but offering a compromise of giving a toast to absent friends & family, where you can mention Brooke along with any other dead family members or friends that would've otherwise been there, might be worth considering. I've been to several weddings where people have given a toast for a dead relative, but I've never seen a big-rear end memorial shrine to someone.

Why should the daughter have to compromise on this? The mother can go to hell, and say hello to Brooke from me.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2021 06:39

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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