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Khazar-khum posted:The only thing that makes me wonder if there's a kernel of truth to this one is because it's from LA. "Cliff's Notes" 
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May 7, 2014 11:13
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Definitely didn't happen:
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May 12, 2014 12:58
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Another from reddit:Redditor posted:So tonight, I decided it would be a good night for me to get high. I was home alone, and had all the wonders of drugs and internet porn at my hands. I decided to jerk off, and during that magical act I decided to try to suck my own dick. During the heated attempts to thrust my penis into my face, I got a bit too excited and tried to clamp my mouth down. I was off by an inch or two, and nibbled pretty sharply on my head. I immediately regretted it & stopped, and now I'm trying to sober up while cradling my dick in pain. (Sorry about my typing, I'm still pretty baked)
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May 23, 2014 13:19
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:No circular saws in this story, I'm afraid. It works better when you imagine them in their village people uniforms.
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May 27, 2014 10:45
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Toriori posted:I know, I saw it and both stories and my cheeks turned red, I ran out of the bedroom in a hurry without saying another word. The dye I use (Crazy Color*) is basically conditioner + dye that you leave in for 30 minutes, so I find that while the bleach portion ruins my hair, the dye portion takes it back to perfectly healthy. * We actually cut it 5:1:3 Candy Floss Pink, Pinkissimo, cheap conditioner otherwise it's too purpley pink
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Jun 7, 2014 18:20
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ibntumart posted:While we're on academic STDH: If <name redacted> turned out to be Orly Taitz, I could believe the veracity of this claim, tbh.
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Jun 11, 2014 12:10
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p-hop posted:... and then one of the rocks ricocheted from the moving train and struck my dad in the skull. After several weeks the hospital concluded that he would never recover from his vegetative coma state. We have been married for 3 years! And everyone on the train applauded.
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Jun 15, 2014 11:53
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TotalBlammBlamm posted:Bad guys with a heart! That would be shit_that_DID_happen.txt http://archive.wbir.com/news/article/283676/16/Burglars-return-stolen-computers-with-hand-written-apology
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Jul 11, 2014 16:24
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FrozenVent posted:It won't necessarily work in all fifty states, you're better off just calling 911. That being said, people have apparently attacked women by pretending to be cops and pulling them over. It will work in all 50 states, but not necessarily on all phone providers. 112 is the international emergency number, and a requirement of operating GSM service is that you provide 112 facility - so any US carrier that uses GSM *must* provide mapping to the local emergency service, whereas CDMA providers *may* provide it.
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Aug 6, 2014 12:38
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Pookah posted:Who the hell wants to eat anything when they have "a full on migraine", never mind multiple burgers and 23 pies? Eating something high in protein *sometimes* makes a migraine go away for me faster than asprin (which is the only painkiller that ever gets rid of them for me), but yeah, I won't *want* to eat it.
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Aug 7, 2014 14:58
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bonestructure posted:What the gently caress, I refuse to believe that's a real dish, that is disgusting. Call it Salmon Roe and put it in sushi and no-one cares.
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Aug 8, 2014 00:31
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SpookyLizard posted:That sounds neat, and potentially dangerous. Especially for someone with sulfur allergies. They discovered I have sulfur allergies while pumping me full of some sulfur based antibiotic via an IV pump. It was... 'interesting'. I didn't go into shock or anything, but all my veins started itching* and my BP dropped massively because my vein walls were all inflammed, cue very rapid 'lets not do that, and here, have some IV antihistamines while we're here' * Itching in the middle of your arm, far from the skin is one of the most insane-driving feelings.
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Aug 9, 2014 12:27
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Bertrand Hustle posted:How does this even get said? How does a person manage to express condolences over a loss and then request to speak with the deceased? How can you go through life being that loving stupid? It's not stupidity, it's a trained adherence to a customer service script.
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Aug 21, 2014 13:44
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moerketid posted:18 is/isn't plus size in the UK. Almost all high street stores will have size 18 as the top or 2nd top size of the normal clothing line. So most people who are size 18 will never need to think about buying from a plus size section. At the same time, plus size sections tend to begin at 18. Still sounds distinctly like this person in the story is in the US, where a US 18 is definitely going to be plus. 'Fired on the spot' pretty much guarantees it's not in the UK (except that you could probably consider the language involved as "gross misconduct" in a retail setting, which is legally permitted to result in instant dismissal, but you'd still need to do it in writing with all the right legal paperwork and you'd probably say 'dismissed' rather than 'fired' as a result)
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Sep 3, 2014 13:18
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Junius posted:In case anyone was actually wondering, the pink Kinder Surprise eggs are coloured because they're special edition Barbie eggs. Not that that would make it any less "gendered" for idiots who see things that way (I think they had blue Spiderman eggs too). However, unless the kid wants a barbie toy, he's going to be disappointed.
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Sep 5, 2014 11:38
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Praseodymi posted:Are there even portable cd players that could handle the movement of jogging? Especially an older one. Yes, my first portable cd player was a toshiba 'bitstream' player that I bought in 1994, it had 30 seconds of buffering and ran at 2x (or 4x, idr) so that you could jog with it, and as long as it could read some data in between the bouncing, it was fine.
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Sep 13, 2014 12:34
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Leon Einstein posted:Didn't they just radio from it saying that the rebels and ewoks fled into the woods and they'd need more men to pursue them? I don't remember Chewbacca blasting down any doors. Uh, I haven't seen RotJ in like 20 years, so I may have this wrong but... Han & Leia are standing in front of the doors to the shield generator after fending off stormtroopers, the AT-ST rocks up, and they figure they're busted so lower their weapons, the AT-ST fires... and hits the doors, blasting them open. At which point Chewbacca emerges from the AT-ST hatch and does his roar thing.
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Sep 26, 2014 16:08
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The only thing I recall being banned from my school was knives, and it took the great intra-school knife fights of 1986, and 3 kids being hospitalised and about 20 arrested, before that happened
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Oct 2, 2014 14:30
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Rudager posted:I can understand a restaurant doing this, but every time I book a motel or seat on a plane, they take the money up front right there and then at the time of booking, that seems to pretty well lock both parties into it. People with more money than sense/cares often do this thing where they won't know exactly which day they plan to travel, so they book, and pay for, the same trip on several days, and just no-show on the days they don't actually need.
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Oct 5, 2014 13:44
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Darth Freddy posted:
This one is actually a year or more old, and surprisingly turned out to be true: http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2013/06/08/owner-of-mystery-vietnam-war-dog-tag-found.htm
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Oct 10, 2014 19:55
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Non Serviam posted:Also, who the gently caress certifies Samba dancers? The London School of Samba, apparently, which also has a separate 'Paris school of Samba' campus in Paris.
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Mar 26, 2015 19:22
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Fathis Munk posted:I can't loving stand that song anymore because of nerds. Same, if by 'nerds' you mean SNL.
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Mar 28, 2015 01:20
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Non Serviam posted:To their credit, a least the outfits look better than I would have expected. http://disneybound.tumblr.com Their bambi collection that involves suede boots... 
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Mar 30, 2015 15:20
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Who the hell serves baked potatoes to guests anyway? That's not a we-have-guests meal.
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Apr 15, 2015 11:58
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Paladinus posted:What digits are female? And how can there be more than 10 of them?  He's collecting their fingers
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Apr 17, 2015 14:58
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Bertrand Hustle posted:A teacher verbally chastised and humiliated my sister to the point of tears in the first grade and never faced any consequences. Then again, that was almost 20 years ago (holy poo poo). Yeah, I had two teachers humiliate me in ways that would have been the end of their careers if they did it today (one would likely have faced jail time today too)
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Apr 23, 2015 14:00
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Khazar-khum posted:Musicman. Something eerily similar to this happened at (one of) my local guitar shop when I was at college in the 80s, so I can believe it *could* happen (in the case of the place I'm thinking about, it was all documented by the local paper, from the mid-night break-in to the idiots trying to sell the guitars back to the shop, and the police being called to arrest them). Criminals are generally pretty dumb.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:10
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Drunk Tomato posted:Also any musician who leaves instruments in his car overnight is a huge idiot and deserves to have everything stolen from him, and his house burned down, and his dog shot If he's a performing musician it might be an insurance thing - if you're working then you need extra coverage on your car and house insurance for the instruments or they're not covered, if you're tight on cash only insuring the car means you can leave it there and it be insured. It kinda sucks if your home-owners insurance is perfect except for being a oval office about your instruments being 'tools' that have to be covered with a huge waiver.
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Apr 24, 2015 18:17
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Zaphod42 posted:He wanted the store to dump manure on the other guy's lawn because you see that's also feces so its the same thing? To be fair 5 tons of horse poo poo is a reasonable and suitable comeback to some punk making GBS threads on your lawn.
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Apr 27, 2015 17:39
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Boris Galerkin posted:Assuming he's married and had sex (lol) and that the neighbor had a radio scanner and could talk back to the baby monitor how was the neighbor suppose to know that this particular couple moaning are the same couple from next door. Because those things have a poo poo range, and his neighbours just had a newborn kid. I don't applaud our neighbour because it'd be rude to interrupt the 20 seconds of fun he gets every few months.
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Apr 29, 2015 03:51
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Thin Privilege posted:And do you just get off the list after a period of time like he says? I thought it was a for life kind of deal. Depends on the crime/plea-bargain/judge's-mood, but yes, fixed term entries on the list are a thing, as are 'for life'
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May 5, 2015 13:32
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Besesoth posted:"It's a good thing I have enough restraint that I only committed assault!" He says right there that he touched him, so it was merely 'assault and battery' 
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May 9, 2015 17:57
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Verus posted:Ones like this depress me, where the author is obviously describing a fantasy life they wish they had. It's the combination of pity and vicarious embarrassment. Never feel sad for a brony, he's already dead and rotting on the inside.
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May 13, 2015 20:53
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It's right there in the text  quote:(I’m a high school student working at a fast food restaurant in a very small town. One day, a girl from school comes in who is known to be a little more than friendly to guys. A fairly good looking older guy comes in after and she takes notice.) Also, he's the same guy that stands up for the cashier at the end: quote:Guy: *looks at the girl* “Okay, this is taking so long. Anyone with a grade school education knows that two quarters, two dimes, and a nickel is only 75 cents. Now, please, give her the money and get going. I’m in a hurry. And don’t throw it at her this time. She’s obviously way smarter than you and doesn’t need to take any crap from people like you.” Which is why she's embarassed to the point of never looking at the cashier again at school. e: ^^ it's a way that some people wrongly describe a kind of facepalm, like this: 
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May 16, 2015 20:30
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Paladinus posted:I haven't watch the film yet, but smeg is a fake swear word from Red Dwarf. Not that it makes it better. It's not a 'fake' swear word, smeg and associated derivatives, including smeghead, have been around ages as insults, it's derived from smegma - the ugly white/grey greasy substance under a foreskin.
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May 29, 2015 17:16
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e: Never mind, no idea where I got the London thing from.
SybilVimes has a new favorite as of 16:30 on Jun 1, 2015 |
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Jun 1, 2015 16:23
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Zaphod42 posted:I think I've seen the term "breeder" used as a straight insult by gay people in like TV shows or something, but definitely not IRL because its really stupid. Used to work for a gay media company owned and staffed almost entirely by gay people, and heard 'breeder' used unironically as an insult daily 
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Jun 1, 2015 19:44
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OldMemes posted:Maybe if you had a proper film rating service that kept children out of adult films like we do in Except you know, try not to replicate the BBFC exactly because they're loving terrible.
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Jun 2, 2015 18:43
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rather than a bunch of guys who go "a guy punches a guy's head off, eh whatever, bring the kids.....a husband and wife HAVE SEX?!?! BAN THIS SICK FILTH!!!" there wouldn't be an issue. 
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Desert Bus posted:I'm not in a wheelchair yet, but it 100% is. If us cripple-folk don't ask for help, don't give it. It's pretty simple. If I end up in a wheelchair and someone ever does it to me, I'm just gonna start screaming 'help, I'm being kidnapped'
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Jun 7, 2015 22:52
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That STDH is at least 20 years old - I remember hearing it in the mid 90s.
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Jun 18, 2015 03:30
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