Wizard Master posted:

A Bad Post

KoRMaK posted:

real loss of an opportunity here.

Scarf posted:

Michigan (blue and gold) was beating their in-state rival, Michigan State (green and white) 23-21 and simply needed to punt the ball down field to end the game as there were only a few seconds left on the game clock. The ball was snapped low, the punter panicked and tried to still kick it away (he should have just fallen on it), fumbled the ball directly into Michigan State's hands, and they ran it back for a touchdown as time expired, winning them the game 27-23.

flosofl posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBlgN85wB6U

ayn rand hand job posted:

here is a cake that involved nothing going soul crushingly wrong for the kid



Schadenfreude: the kid wanted a MLP cake

Bip Roberts posted:

Argon, helium, hydrogen, which on is different than the others?

Parkingtigers posted:

And that brother was Einstein.

KittenofDoom posted:

A bit long, but cathartic as gently caress for me (names changed to characters from The Office):

I had a long-standing crush on my coworker, Pam. She knew about it, but our efforts to hang out always happened when the other person was seeing someone else. This summer I swore off dating for personal life reasons. She also knew that.

I was talking to another coworker, Roy, in the locker room downstairs and the subject of Pam came up. We had nothing but nice things to say about her. I thought Roy was still seeing his ex, and let it slip that I liked Pam. Roy responded by showing me the scratches on his back and made me guess which of our coworkers put them there. After a few guesses he told me Pam had put them there the night before. It was a lovely way to break the news, but I brushed it off thinking he was insecure.

Roy said that they'd been dating a few weeks and that he really liked her, and swore that he would treat her better than all the assholes she'd dating recently. I liked Pam, but Roy seemed like a decent guy at the time so I gave him my blessing and backed off. If Pam was happy then I didn't think I had much reason to complain.

Roy talked poo poo about me to Pam behind my back because he was insecure about the two of us being friends. For weeks she refused to talk to me and seemed genuinely angry at me. Trying to talk over the situation just made it worse, and Roy was more popular at work, so I kept my side of the story to myself, along with Roy and Pam's private details. Things were awkward and terrible. It sucked but I tried to move on with my life.

Today I found out that Roy had been screwing our boss, Jan, and hitting on pretty much every woman in the restaurant, including Jan's younger sister. I'm friends with Jan's younger sister, who is also Pam's friend and had also been holding in her dislike of Roy. Roy quit the company when everyone found out what a lying, cheating piece of poo poo he is, and I was finally able to get my side of the story out, although only to Jan's younger sister. Jan's sister was also relieved she could tell her side of things to someone.

After months of patience and work, Pam and I are friends again. We may never date, and she may even still be trying to work things out with Roy (who may also still be screwing Jan), but my shadenfreude comes from knowing that Roy is exactly as big a douchebag as I thought he was, and now everyone else knows it, too.

(I'm not Jim in this situation; I'm probably closer to an Andy or a Kevin.)

Nuebot posted:

Truly the greatest thing about being an uncle is buying your niece loud poo poo like child-sized drumsets that drive your sibling and in-law up the wall while their kid thinks you're the best relative ever.

Birb Katter posted:

We drove around town stealing street signs that were teachers names and then sunk a pole in the ground so they could all be pointing towards the toilet. You kids have no class or imagination.

kalstrams posted:

I agree in that most often I hear about performance art when someone smears their poo poo over the floor or nails their nutsack to a pavement.

DocCynical posted:

It wasn't because he took two stalls, it was because he parked super close to the video guys Porche 911 even though there was tons of room elsewhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xibtzwdXgfI

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

A friend of my mom had a kid die from attempting to moon someone while in a car (this was years ago, not like last week). He apparently stuck his rear end out the window too far and the car got too close to the bridge and the metal pipe or bridge support or something just sort of snatched him out the window.

I'm about 90% certain everyone in the car was drunk (attempted mooner, driver, friend in passenger seat), cause they had to turn around later and figure out where the gently caress the guy went.

Moral of the story (besides the hilarity of death by bridge to rear end) is that doing stupid poo poo can get you killed, so it's a minor miracle you are alive right now considering all the dumb poo poo you did as a kid.

Also, I'm not 100% sure this guy was a kid, or just a dumbfuck adult, but either way, he dead.

wayfinder posted:

Look u*faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart*

Malachi Constant posted:

Cause some teenagers think atheism or disgust with religion is a hipster affectation, don't'cha know. Right up there with "I was into X before X became cool.". I mean it's not like people have actual experiences of living with the consequences of being in a religiously dominated culture, it's all just "gently caress you, dad" stuff.

XYZ posted:

Gentleman, the F35!

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Takoluka posted:

The idol industry is pretty different these days. The Minegishi scandal was how many years ago?

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Ethnic man gives free luggage samples to strangers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MckdToC8MMw

Here's their FB page if you want to read all the outraged comments:
https://www.facebook.com/jalalbros/

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I generally like to consult my moral sphygmomanometer in matters of choice and ethics.

MisterBibs posted:

My only strong opinion on sex workers is that I will never call em 'sex workers', since the English language has words like "hooker" or "stripper" or "porn massive air quote star endquote".


Feds say they are criminals, so criminals they are. Feds say they are criminals, so banks get a say about being involved with criminals,specifically not wanting to be.

Things like this, you think potential businesses of this ilk would think about before starting said businesses. They didn't, so events like this generate schadenfreude.

mostlygray posted:

I concur. I normally don't get into pet discussions and I try not to derail but

Sorry for the derail.

olaf2022 posted:

Racing fuel mixed with soda suspected in Tennessee teens' deaths

douche-ine

KoRMaK posted:

lol and how did it affect your mood and drive? I would think it would make your edgy and probbaly not do as fun stuff as normal


Also lol thats dumb as hell because mouth poo poo is a really quick way to get an infection in the brain. so if that tooth got rotten (also bad breath) you could have died from some agonizing brain infection thng.


Good for you though for being so tough

ayn rand hand job posted:

Young super pushed UFC fighter does something really goddamn stupid and taps in the weakest loving submission



2 minutes of getting pounded and worked over led to this

https://twitter.com/UFCONFOX/status/693606912399527936

AlphaKretin posted:

Another minor personal moment: Fumbling back from a midnight toilet trip in the dark, I went straight past my bedroom door and smashed straight into the wall, waking the house and hurting like hell.

Centripetal Horse posted:

This one's on me.

I started a new job recently. I've been struggling to get up to speed with out large code base, and the dozens of technologies we employ. If you followed my GBS thread, you know I'm feeling significant pressure to do well at this job. Consequently, I've been staying late at work. Last night, everyone was gone by 7:00 or so, except the CIO and one of the high-level managers. The CIO left, and the manager stopped by for a talk. We chatted for half an hour or so, and he left. I was all alone in the IT Engineering room. Even the Russian guys who take care of the trash and building maintenance were gone. I spent the next hour-and-a-half or so working on various aspects of my project, keeping a full-volume conversation going with myself the entire time. That's something I do regularly when I am alone, because I am either mentally ill, or very lonely, and probably both. Suddenly, I felt a cramp in my gut. I pressed down, and let loose with an incredibly long, incredibly loud fart. It was one of those wet farts that sounds like a horse blowing a raspberry. It was extremely satisfying. I groaned in satisfaction. To celebrate, I stood up and sang

DOMO ARIGATO, MR. ROBOTO!

DOMO!

DOMO!

I was in mid-Robot when a torso swivel brought me face-to-face with the guy who was sitting in a cube directly behind my chair, and not five feet away from me. He'd been sitting back there for maybe two hours, listening to me talk to myself, and was witness to both my fart, and my Robotting. It was like 9:30 at night, and I hadn't heard a loving sound from him.

I expect bonus schadenfreude any day now when I get fired for whatever kind of harassment blasting rear end on a guy then singing Styx at him qualifies as.

Magres posted:

Cloud to Butt continues to be amazing

cyberia posted:

He's on a hoverboard, I think. When he bends down to pick up the tray he loses his balance and the result is what you see in the gif.

FreudianSlippers posted:

Funnily enough Ted Cruz was, unlike Barack Hussein Obama, not born in the United States of America.

Munnin The Crab posted:

Good dogge

Wizard Master posted:

Jastiger posted:

I don't think Eagles talons lock like a ratchet. A more apt comparison would be the jaws of a pit bull, and how they latch shut and are stronger than all over dogs jaws.

Memento posted:

I hired one for my 87 year old grandmother a few months ago and they had a refundable $100 deposit, and no actual charge. It's not that hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivD_32-bqUk

Skip to 0:45. Dude. Don't do that.

Testekill posted:

Cockatoos (and Galahs, Correlas and other related birds) have incredibly strong beaks and incredibly short attention spans. They will just destory everything if you're not keeping a close eye on them