Applewhite posted:

I am taking my balls and going home!

wayfinder posted:

What are you, some kind of faminist?

Potential BFF posted:

Motherfucker looks like he tried to find the G-Spot on a space heater in every picture.

Your Taint posted:

Covok, man, if you need someone to get all e/n on, PM me and I'll give you my skype info.

All I can promise you is that I will be a good listener and you can unload on me if you want.

r.y.f.s.o. posted:

Today, I saw someone offer to let a random dude to unload on your taint. I also read SA for a bit.

Chard posted:

The MSJ posted:

Why would you assume goons have lives?

A pulse is different from being a person

Collateral Damage posted:

You're just jealous because he gets to rub his face on them several times a day.

UnfurledSails posted:

Goon asks for diet help and shares his weekly diet calories in the General Diet & Exercise Megathread:

Lycus posted:

SA is the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna.

cinci zoo sniper posted:

I'm currently in a Latvian souvenir shop and I can't really decide on how many levels of irony the shopkeeper is, as they sell matryoshkas with Trump.

OddObserver posted:

What's the nesting structure?

Pierogi posted:

Trump inside of Ivanka

Flapjack Monty posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND SLAM MY PALMS TOGETHER. ITS A PRAYER FOR A QUICK DEATH AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START EXPECTING THE WORST OUT OF OUR 45TH PRESIDENT, TRUMP. I PANIC AND I BREAKDOWN HARD. MAKIN PAINED SOUNDS WHEN HE SLAMS DOWN SOME UNPRECEDENTED STUPID BULLSHIT OR EVEN WHEN THE DEMS gently caress UP AGAIn

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Chadderbox posted:

At what point, exactly, does a bag of rotting dicks become irredeemable? As soon as the rot starts?

Kitfox88 posted:

gonna need more on this thank you

The Fear posted:

CAUTIONARY TALE

(Sorry for poo poo format this is a c/p)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.

Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good”. Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

Spanish Manlove posted:

I also jerk off overhand

Outrail posted:

Best thing about having kids is you can cook them over an open fire with your mates when they stop being cute and fun.

Away all Goats posted:

Solice Kirsk posted:

Colder than a what now?

Golden Dragon posted:

Gargamel Gibson posted:

Yeah but why does pussy taste like coins?

gleebster posted:

Because women's clothing often lacks pockets.

Spanish Manlove posted:

cool

beanieson posted:

Christ what an rear end in a top hat