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Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

From the rest of that post they were childhood acquaintances before the hookup (he was the son of one of her mom's friends) so I get wanting to be there for the family even they weren't besties back then. But that bridge has burned and it'd be better for her to send best wishes along with her mother (who I assume is going).

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Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

I accidentally walked out of the supermarket with a comb I didn't pay for, decided rather than going back I'd scan it on my next shopping trip, and for the next few days that thing felt like a heart under the floorboards. I don't know how thieves do it. Probably have fewer anxiety issues.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

MasBrillante posted:

I literally feel “trapped” in crowded rooms and I still suck it up and take a chill pill for friends and family. And I certainly wouldn’t make my partner choose between an engaging conversation with his boss and sharing a cab ride home. I also love the way he invalidates the conversation as gossip. I wonder what credentials he has for making that determination.

This is one of those things where ideally a couple talks it out and knows enough about each other to find the balance. I'm similar about crowds, and when I'm done I'm done and just can't social anymore. When I'm with more social folks they know that and people don't mind when I duck out early, or if there with someone I either wait outside while they finish up or they find their own way home (not as some sudden ultimatum, we're on the same page for these things).

Though the stuff I've gone to has all been actually social events, not corporate ladder-climbing masquerading as "fun" where my being out of step could cause judgement of folks associated with me. More that I just head home when the gathering moves from karaoke to the bar.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

MasBrillante posted:

Oh for sure, everyone in my inner circle knows and respects my boundaries but I push them, because it matters to me. Part of dealing with anxiety is retraining yourself so I figure, what’s more worth it than the people you love? And because of that effort, my sympathy for people who just find these things “boring” is very low.

I think what gets me about it is his putting everything beneath him. When you, I, and others in this thread talk about our similar reactions it's from a perspective of being out of sync; our troubles and limits navigating these things include both us and them in the interaction. He talks in absolutes; the party is boring and he shouldn't have to stay longer, the people there are assholes, wife is gossiping about trivial stuff and so there's no reason to consider her needs. Someone in a very similar situation could have a much more sympathetic reception depending on how their word choice shaped the story.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not telling my girlfriend that I make porn for a living?

80% of the people who make enough off art commissions to pay rent do it via porn, and that's a conservative estimate. Half of the rest do it via things they can pretend the commissioner isn't masturbating to but are wrong. NTA for doing it, maybe TA for being cagey about it.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

This whole thread is basically Frasier right now

I'm the dog

Or possibly the goat

I'm the tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Haifisch posted:

The reason men like me communicate with women. Manhattan New York. (self.relationship_advice)

Every time I stumble over a word choice that'd odd in hindsight or realize my face isn't doing what I want it to do I worry that people are going to assume I'm this sort of freak instead of more typical social anxiety.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pinecone Sample posted:

It's mostly an ESL thing, I think, but also a cultural attitude about trying to understand dating. I knew a Taiwanese-born guy who talks [especially about women] exactly like this. I've also noticed some Spanish speakers write with overly short sentences like that.

edit: yep found a post he made about being DACA so there's, let's say, about a 95% chance he was born in Latin America and about a 2% chance he was born in East Asia

Ah. I read it more as someone creating sexual narratives for any women he meets and then expecting them to live up to it. Jumped to conclusions there.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Xaris posted:

no. if i ordered a chicken salad i'd expectr a bowl of romaine, shredded/diced charred chicken, maybe some feta and cherry tomatoes

then again i live in california and not the midwest where i guess it could refer to the latter there because they also love abominations like hot dish. i don't think ive ever seen a dishs thats a bowl of mayo and chicken to begin with

The article makes a difference. "A chicken salad" is a salad with chicken. "Chicken salad" is a side dish like coleslaw or mashed potatoes.

...'salad' doesn't look like a real word anymore. Insert American joke here.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Motronic posted:

WAY more than half by landmass. Also, most of those places thing either the mayo or the plain chicken is "spicy". It's way too spicy once you put some pre-ground 3 yer old grocery store black pepper on it.

I'm from New Mexico, and at a summer camp in Seattle there was a "Mexican night" where the other campers encouraged me to try the salsa saying it was really spicy. As far as I can tell the recipe was: put two tomatoes in a strainer and run water over them, carefully push an onion three inches away for half a second, then serve the water to the gringos. I've had spicier ketchup.

Spicy in most of the US is either plain whitebread or "this will gently caress up your insides and is purely a demonstration of machismo". Folks don't understand how to blend heat with flavor in a good salsa.

Bruceski fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Jul 15, 2019

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Haifisch posted:

AITA for trying to reunite what I am CERTAIN is a set of identical, separated-at-birth twins?

You put the info out there, it's theirs to do with as they will. Job done, stop trying to make it about you.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

EL BROMANCE posted:

Yeah I think I should probably print this one out and write DON'T BECOME THIS on it in big letters. I'm "lucky" in the sense that I've probably done more personalization in the house in the last few months since my wife passed than the few years we had it before hand, but the idea of sharing it with anyone else even long into the future just feels so wrong. Definitely don't want to be the guy essentially hiding a shrine for many years and being insistent that it doesn't change.

There's a grieving process, and it's important to remember that it's a process. Don't feel you need to rush back to "normal" or beat yourself up for things you can't do yet; the main thing is to be aware of yourself and pay attention if you get stuck.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Beachcomber posted:

I thought the relevant passage was something like "Don't cook a kid in it's mother's milk."

I just looked online and apparently it has been extrapolated to mean that the ideal kosher kitchen has two ovens, ranges, microwaves, dishwashers, and sinks. Two sets of silverware, pots, and spatulas. Milk and meat are antiparticles so that if a molecule of one touches the other it will annihilate any Jews caught in the blast radius.

If you can't afford two ranges, you're supposed to designate separate burners.

Yup. Full kosher takes a lot of work, though it's not bad once you're used to it. Like most things like that the hard part is making it habit. Some things like separate ovens seem excessive, the main idea is to help avoid mistakes. With multiple people living together something you think is dairy might not always be dairy. I've had that issue with actual food allergies, and flat-out veto "we'll make two batches and leave the death out of this one".

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Leon Einstein posted:

Why would a benevolent God really want to make his followers live such a complicated existence?

Because God is kinda tangential to Judaism. Christianity grew out of a cult and so is focused on belief and convincing others of that belief, with divine punishment for not believing. "A good person without Christ is not a good person," that sort of thing. Judaism has tribal origins so God is used to reinforce laws to keep the tribe together. "Our ways are not their ways."

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

christmas boots posted:

A significant amount of Judaism revolves around God setting rules, and various rabbis finding loopholes He didn't account for. For example, the Bible prohibits lighting a fire on the Sabbath and some sects have interpreted that to mean that turning on a light bulb is a violation of that command. Therefore, some among them invented devices that... well, I'll let this speak for itself.

My favorite parable is two Rabbis arguing over a fiddly bit of law, one makes a solid (but wrong) argument, the other just invokes divine intervention. "If I am right let this river flow backwards" sort of thing. It ends with God's voice booming down that the second Rabbi is right to which the first one says "stay out of this. You gave us the commandments, they're ours now. It's up to us to figure out what to do with them." And God left, happy that His children had surpassed Him.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Fantastic Flyer posted:

AITA for outing my sister to my family?

Yes. Could've called the sister out for her BS, confronted her about everything, and maybe gotten a bit of self-awareness or an apology (if she hasn't already confronted that about herself). Someone who used to torment you making themselves vulnerable like that, it's definitely understandable to nuke the bridge, but don't pretend you have moral high ground doing it.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Renegret posted:

I wonder if it's criminal if you just make the food taste really bad. Like, instead of laxatives or dumping a ton of ghost peppers, dump a carton of salt into the food instead. Or let me cook it :rimshot:

As long as you would eat it, it's fine. You can booby-trap your lunch with hot sauce if you "like spicy food" and can pretend to have intended to eat it.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Broken clocks, amirite?

Great minds think alike... so what's your excuse?

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Back in college I was coming from a solidly middle-class family that lived well within our means and I'd call us wealthy except that I visited the Bay area once and saw folks in mansions calling themselves "middle-class" so gently caress that. We couldn't afford everything, but when something (or someone) broke we didn't need to worry about where the money was coming from to fix it. My neighborhood was a bunch of folks in the same situation, it was a one-business town without a culture of conspicuous consumption so though I'm sure managers earned more and such, nobody was really showing it off and the main difference was that idea that "we have the money for it" had different thresholds for different folks and that wasn't something we talked about. In contrast, one of my friends was a farmgirl from Washington who was in college entirely off of scholarships and if anything went wrong she'd be stuck with the cows. Anyway, one time in freshman year I made some offhand comment about money and she tore me a new one. Never seen her so angry, and I deserved every (well, almost every, there was some pain from other sources that came out in there) word of it.

Best thing that ever happened to me, really helped pop a few bubbles I grew up in. The more those rich bitches don't want to hear about it, the more they ought to.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Scathach posted:

She's the oldest. If she wanted the beach house she could have had it. She got to pick first.

She thought she could have her house and cash too.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

areyoucontagious posted:

Yeah, that guy specifically said he likes spicy food and could demonstrate to management that he could wolf it down no problem, but didn’t he still get a ton of poo poo thrown his way?

The story I heard about that it (I think from Ask a Manager) turned out the food thief was sleeping with the HR person, hence the poo poo-throwing. Everything wound up turning into a massive clusterfuck because it didn't stop at food and the HR person was powertripping and didn't know how to quit while ahead. Tried to go the extra mile in screwing people over and got attention.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

i vomit kittens posted:

AITA for wanting to get a numbered tattoo on my arm as remembrance for a Holocaust Victim?

I think if you know a Holocaust victim well enough (relative or something) to get a tattoo like this to remember them, you probably know them well enough that is the answer was "yes" you wouldn't need to be asking. Also, hopefully you'd know them well enough to have other ways of remembering them because that's creepy.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

And there's the trolling factor. It's not just eating random food, it's eating Soandso's special lunch.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

The Instagram girl's situation is one of those where either one could be the rear end in a top hat and the nebulous nature of her job makes it a lot murkier. Woman gets to go on a work trip somewhere fabulous and brings the boyfriend along is a very different dynamic from working while on vacation together, and depending on how it was presented to him there could be a different interaction expectation.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for getting my best friend removed from our grad school research group?

Some great Christian compassion there. "Hey, I torpedoed every bit of support she had to try and handle this but I prayed with her so I did everything I could."

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

sexpig by night posted:

yuuuup as a former scumbag junkie I'm hard on the side of 'you gotta accept you hosed some people up and not try to drag them and their families into your own quest for self improvement'

You don't go to a funeral for a person, you go for their family. In this case their family's not gonna want you around.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Xik posted:

Although for guys, there are some clear rules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Lx2ihpGbc

"budgie smuggler" wonderful.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Three Olives posted:

What kind of animal eats in their car?

What, you expect me to budget enough time on my driving trips to pull over at a rest stop for a picnic? How will people know I'm successful if I'm not constantly rushing everywhere and finding ways to damage my relationships for the sake of multitasking and gluttony?

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

MarcusSA posted:

I don't cry to get my way but when I cry I get my way. Not sure how that happens!

I'm a stress cryer and not in a pretty way. I've found there's no way when blubbering to say "no really it's fine" that sounds like you mean it.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

DandyLion posted:

Liquid cooled by submerging the entire computer (chipset/videocards/everything) in mineral oil which is both non-conductive (so as not to interfere with normal operation) and also an excellent thermal conductor.

And if your computer runs hot you can make french fries while you game.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

ulex minor posted:

honestly think if this guy isn't trolling he is actually just a sadist and is enjoying sharing exploits of how funny he finds it to make his wife miserable

He's not the first person to be a real jerk about phobias. Not the first sadist either.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm not sure if this is specifically a repost, but the themes of the story sure are common.
My [21M] gf [20F] is in the hospital because my mom [48F] didn't believe her allergies/dietary restrictions


Oof, GF and a peanut allergy is a nasty combination. A lot of GF stuff uses peanut or other nut flour as a substitute.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I (25F) found a tracking device on my car, and I think my husband (27M) put it there.

Attach it to his car and wait for him to accuse you of working at the strip club.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

Whenever I see comic book images like this I never know if it's real or if it's a photoshop. :ohdear:

Also for the longest time I thought :ohdear: was a dude with a spider mouth. It made no sense but lots of things don't make sense on the internet, I just thought it was like some long lost forums in-joke or something.

I can't unsee that now and it's adorable. Cute little spider-smiley. Thank you.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Racism is deffo a possibility, but there is actual truth to the “you all look alike,” thing. Your brain has a tiny area that specializes in facial recognition, and it is great at what it does. Look at an object or person, is there a face? If so, it’s that little lump of your brains working.

Here’s the thing, differentiating and remembering unique faces is harder than just seeing a face. Your brain gets really good at sorting through the things it is familiar with. If you haven’t encountered any Asian people for most of your life, your brain has a hard time processing the differences. It knows that elements of an Asian face are different, but not how they are different. It takes your brain a while to start sorting and storing those new face layouts and getting the finer details.

I'm a near-identical twin. We can tell each other apart even in baby photos, and some other people can tell the difference right away (moreso now that we've got 30+ years of nurture on top of the genetics). Others could learn how to tell us apart eventually, and there were some folks who even though they saw us every day never seemed to be able to do it. Knew another pair of twins in high school with similar experiences.

That sort of facial recognition stuff is fascinating, it's a shame it's so adjacent to racism that some people use it as an excuse for such.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Noun needs verbing is fine, noun needs verbed is not.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

You could just, you know, not go and pass along your best wishes. Why do you feel so entitled to be at someone else's party?

I had one pair of best friends who got married in England and were understanding that I couldn't come. I had another pair of now-former friends who went to Hawaii and were furious that I wasn't willing or able to afford to join them. This is one of those things that completely depends on the folks involved.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for taking my girlfriend’s new black belt in Brazilian JiuJitsu to get “I love you” in asian letters stitched on the end?

Great job making her accomplishment about you, rear end in a top hat.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

ad090 posted:

AITA for using money we "earmarked" for our 6 month old's college fund to buy back the exact 1972 Ford Bronco I owned as a teenager?

I'm sympathetic about not realizing how much something mattered to you until you think it's gone for good, but bottoming out your family savings on an impulse buy like that?

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Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for posting creepy & gross texts from ex-coworkers on Twitter?

Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt, and text like it's going on Twitter tomorrow.

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