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Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Milotic posted:

This dude is way too nice.

My [20 M] girlfriend [20 F] of 3 years had sex with my best friend and roommate, and then told me she wanted an open relationship. My whole world was just turned upside down.

Seems like he missed a shitload of red flags from the start and was, unfortunately, way too naive.

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Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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HazCat posted:

:shrug:

Sometimes people you care about have stupid reactions to pointless bullshit, and if it was anyone else you'd laugh at them and call them idiots, but you don't because they're someone you care about and you just want them to stop feeling lovely about something trivial.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Over There posted:

Throwback in case anyone missed it!

I [20 M] entered into a devil's threesome with my girlfriend [18 F] of over a year, royally hosed things up and I'm not sure what to do.

So much lol at this loving retard.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I love how all these Reddit freaks need throwaway accounts because their partners are also Reddit freaks.

Keeps the fuckers out of the regular breeding pool.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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girl pants posted:

WHY are so many men not able to wipe their own butts?

It takes up valuable raiding time.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Breetai posted:

A play in 3 parts:

:stare:

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Yeah, I'm gonna ask this now knowing full well so many of you have already have thought it already, but posting specific details about your relationship with a throwaway isn't a massive giveaway??

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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ArbitraryC posted:

I think she always viewed him as a smart dude who didn't apply himself, and she's coming to the stark realization that he's not.

This is it.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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tactlessbastard posted:

Yeah, but it's also easy to not say out loud every thing that crosses your mind, and yet we have OP's GF

I know my gf has said a whole bunch of poo poo about the cars I've owned in the past that I just roll my eyes at ("why did you buy such an old car?" "why didn't you buy one with seats in the back?" "why do you keep it when it breaks down so much" etc. Typically at a really opportune juncture, like when I'm skinning my knuckles trying to fix something).

That being said, comparing it to her ex boyfriend's car was typical reddit-level shitheadery. The only acceptable answer there is to say to get out and walk it if it's such a hardship.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I mean in fairness their marriage certainly has been spiced up by this foray into an open relationship. :shrug:

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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blarzgh posted:

He ordered the 5 star Pad Thai, but should've only gotten a 3.

And yet she was the one that ended up with a blown-out rear end in a top hat. Go figure.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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fridge corn posted:

Well first off I love my partner dearly, more than anything in the world. But we are together because we choose to be together. Everything we do is our choice. I wouldn't force or coerce her into doing something she didn't want to do because she's free to make that choice herself. Oftentimes I'll will choose to do something that I don't particularly want to do because she wants to do it, but again that is my choice and I make that choice because I love and respect her and she treats me the same way.

If she decided to gently caress somebody else I would be distraught but she's free to make that choice. However, I know she won't make that choice because I choose to trust her completely. There is no ownership, only choice. There is no jealousy because there is no ownership.

lol

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Palpek posted:

I (30M) am honestly not sure if my fiance (26) is mentally disabled, or has a learning disability. Can't talk to any of my friends about this, and I don't know if I should bring it up to her. I'm terrified she might just be unintelligent and that if I bring it up she will think I'm calling her dumb.

The irony of this chode calling his fiance a moron is delicious.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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FactsAreUseless posted:

Women don't have to do poo poo about their bodies for you, suck it.

And based on historical r/relationships submissions, men don't have to wipe their asses at all either, but there has to be an element of give and take.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Palpek posted:

I just want her to break up with him with a pun.

"No vJ January for you."
"I'm starting a No D December as well. We're not together anymore Dickhead."

I don't know, something.

I feel like it should incorporate 'VaJanuary.'

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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What happens if the knight gets cucked by the dragon?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Palpek posted:

Tonight I [21M] slept in bed with a girl I like [20F]. She's said repeatedly that we're only friends yet makes every move possible, what do I do?

University is full of garbage women like this; that is the voice of bitter experience. Find somebody who is DTF.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Khorne posted:

How do you get into this situation and not have sex? I'm doing the math and zero times in my life have I not had sex.

*voice of bitter experience* it happens. Move on, find somebody to gently caress. Preferably very quickly.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Palpek posted:

Oh, to be 19 again...not

my (19m) gf (19f) slept with someone during a break and I’m having trouble moving past it

I mean I know he's 19 and obviously a bit wet behind the ears, but jfc there isn't even an ounce of nuance as to what was going on there. He's a passenger on Amtrak 501.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Vargatron posted:

Unfortunately the coin lands directly on the edge, which is "ridiculous self ownage".


Bikers and runners shave their legs all the time, I don't know why he would have a hangup with that. Just tell everybody he's training for a 5k!

Cyclists. Big. loving. Difference.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Everybody knows the correct and mature way to propose to your partner is to make a Powerpoint deck that outlines the numerous tax benefits that come with being a married couple.

e: lol, proposal idiot and this one should probably trade partners.

I'm [30F] tired of waiting for my bf [30M] of 14 yrs to propose.

quote:

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I know I sound crazy, but hear me out. I've been with my boyfriend since high school (14+ years now; we're both 30). In these 14 years, we have been through a lot together (college, graduations, moves to different cities, getting an apartment together, sharing pets, vacations, familial ups and down, etc.). I've been extremely understanding that he may have some hardships, and try to temper my expectations accordingly. We've talked about the future for a long time, including timeline, wedding, kids, etc. I told him in August of this year that I was tired of waiting, and that I'd like to get married next year - which he agreed to. If we get married next year, I told him that I'd want to get engaged this year so I have a year to plan.

In October, we started planning anyway even without the official proposal. We're going to have a large wedding (both from big, conservative, Southern families that have been pressuring us to set a date), so getting the ducks in a row will take some time. We're getting near finalizing a venue, and I can't share this with any friends or family since we're not officially engaged yet. I'd love to run the date by a few close friends before putting a deposit down, as many of my friends are also getting married in 2018 and I want to ensure there are no date conflicts. More so, I heard him drunkenly mention to a friend that he's planning on proposing at the beginning of February.

I know one or one and a half months from the deadline isn't that far off, but it has been weighing on me ever since I overheard. I have tried to be understanding of the costs that come with a proposal, and even told him I don't need a big/nice ring - or even a real diamond for that matter. The gesture is more important to me. The fact that I was so clear about wanting to be engaged before the year ends, and him having planned something more than a month after that is extremely frustrating to me - because I've always been on his timeline. I know the year is going to end and I'm not going to be engaged. Do I let him know I'm frustrated? I'm no longer even excited about this and feel like I won't have time to enjoy my engagement.

tl;dr: Been with my SO for 14 years and communicated my expectations for proposal & wedding. He will not be proposing by when I'd like to be engaged, even though we're already talking about the wedding. Am I losing sight of the forest for the trees?

Theophany fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Dec 19, 2017

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Dienes posted:

Why is it that proposing to him is never an option?

I'm guessing the bit about being conservative as hell Southerners means that tradition is the reason.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Palpek posted:

It's one of those stories that end with the guy breaking it off a week before the wedding, isn't it.

You may be on to something... Is he a timelord?

After 6 months together, my (31F) boyfriend (22M) left me.

quote:

I came home to find my spare key in an envelope taped to my door. He left me a note. In it, I found out that everything I had known was a lie.

When he left his ex, it wasn't because she was crazy and abusive. He left her a week before they were due to be married. Everytime he said he loved me or that he would never hurt me, that was a lie. He said he's never felt any emotion for anyone.

Everything he has ever told me was probably a lie. I don't know anything about the man I cared about for 6 months. You wouldn't have known he was faking it. We just celebrated an early birthday party for me with my friends. He hugged me, kissed me... every one thought he was treating me so well.

He lied about a gift he was making me for my birthday. Night after night he said he was working on this gift on his tablet. He said he had family helping. Now I know his family never knew about me.

I slept next to this guy almost every night. He always made sure that emotionally, I was good. He allowed me to open up to him. I turn 32 in 5 days. How am I supposed to trust anyone ever again? How does someone literally fake love? How do you tell someone you care for them without being prompted and then say you never felt anything for anyone and it was all lies? What do I do now? How do I heal?

I'm heartbroken. I don't know what's real or not anymore. He was willing to leave almost everything he owned so he could leave without saying a word. I have no idea where he is. All I know is I feel alone.

TL;DR: Just found out my boyfriend of 6 months is a master manipulator and lied about almost everything that came out of his mouth, including his love and affection for me.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I can't be the only one who thought the absolute worst part of it all was the total disregard for security in leaving a key taped to the front door?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Submarine Sandpaper posted:

A locked door is not much of an obstacle

Yeah but is it still 'breaking in' if the moron left you the key?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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feedmegin posted:

Actually fat chicks are hot imo

Different strokes for different folks.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I'm not a doctor but I can tell Jenny needs to lay off the fuckin' Lays.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Well gently caress I smoke 40 a day and my Doctor just unfairly asks me how much I smoke because I come into his office reeking of an ashtray, I mean gently caress, I don't have cancer or poo poo right now so yeah, I'm healthy which means there's nothing wrong with the fact I hack up a quart of phlegm going up a single flight of stairs.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I would trot out my usual "Jesus loving Christ," but this thread has numbed me.

I mean, you know being engaged doesn't mean poo poo, right? You can be engaged for a whole other decade, leading the poor girl along and not really having any obligation, other than a moral one, to close the deal.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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maskenfreiheit posted:

nice threadshit. care to post content along with it?

Girlfriend’s Sister Sent Me Nudes (self.dating_advice)

Let's be honest. 'Creative' probably doesn't even come close to this year's standout Greedo vagina post.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Pick posted:

A lo of men ignore interest from women. He’ll be an incel soon.

I now got Urge Overkill stuck in head dammit.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Danaru posted:

This lady's trying so hard to be the victim of cheating that she had to invoke hypothetical alternate timelines, in which he still wouldn't be cheating because this all still happened before they became a couple

Yeah, but this guy also started dating her sister after having started dating her. I mean, it's all a bit... white trash?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Hooo boy.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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My [16/M] girlfriend [19/F] of 1 year pressured me into having sex with her on her birthday. I feel confused about the whole situation.

quote:

It was my girlfriend’s birthday a week ago. She asked me to wait in her room because she wanted to show me something. I waited patiently and she came out of the bathroom naked.

I was uncomfortable from the beginning, but it was her birthday and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. We started kissing and she tried initiating sex. I told her I didn’t want to do it yet because I wasn’t ready. She started crying and asked me why I wouldn't make love to her on her birthday. She was confused why I didn't want to lose my virginity to her.

I felt guilty. I hated seeing my girlfriend cry, especially on her birthday. I let her get on top of me. It was painful. She saw that I was crying. She kissed me and tried telling me everything would be okay. She only got off after I orgasmed.

I hid myself in her bathroom and started crying. I could hear her sobbing. She apologized a countless number of times. She said "I'm sorry for hurting you." and that we'd never have sex again without my full consent. She reassured me it would never happen again.

I love my girlfriend but I’m not sure how I feel about the situation. She has apologized about what happened every day, and begs for my forgiveness. I don't want to leave her, I still love her.

I know she’s genuinely sorry about what she did to me. This week she's been showing me a lot of remorse. She's been writing love letters to me every day and I enjoy reading them. She’s asked me if there was anything else she could do to make me feel more comfortable around her.

Should I have told my parents? Called the police? Broke up with her?

tl;dr: My girlfriend of 1 year pressured me into having sex with her, on her birthday. I felt guilty, so I let her get on top of me. It felt painful and I was crying during it. She apologized right after we finished having sex. For the last week she’s been trying to show me that she’s sorry and cares about me.

:stare:

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Proud Rat Mom posted:

lmao do people actually fall for this bait?

It does seem a bit like an MRA sting, but I'm honestly incapable of telling the difference given how broken some of the people on that subreddit are.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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I [21 M] spent a drunk evening with my [21 F] ex. Three weeks later I learned I had a skin infestation known as 'scabies'.

quote:

So about a week leading up to the night we spent together my hands and legs were really itchy, I didn't think it could have been anything serious as there was no rash or resemblance to any STD's or STI's. So I neglected to have it diagnosed and treated.

A week later we spent the night together after a halloween party, where emotions were high on my end. We've been broken up for about 4 months now but still friends while hooking up on and off. Being at the club just me and her brought back a lot of memories and feelings about our past and our relationship. I grew more and more sad about not being with her and slowly got enveloped by my own insecurities of being alone and watching her skip off with another man.

After a few drinks and a couple hours of pacing around the bar, watching her talk to other guys at a distance not wanting to interfere but feeling the strong desire to go and stop any potential chemistry. Eventually she decided she had enough (both in drinks and in time spent there) so we agreed to leave as I was more than ready.

We had a heartfelt honest talk which got me even more emotional about her, and we arrived at her place. I held her for a few minutes, longing to spend time with her and for the chance to fix my mistakes and potentially rekindle our relationship I hinted at spending the night. She accepted and we went inside.

We get into her room and things get intimate. Were both enjoying ourselves until right before it escalated from foreplay she confessed to being too drunk to do this. She admitted to wanting to, but just being too drunk to properly partake. Saddened by this I reluctantly comply and we start chatting in bed. She brings up wanting to go get water saying shed go get it in the next 30 seconds. Half an hour went by before I reminded her, to which she still didn't go get it. This led me to start teasing her to get up, which went from teasing to sex fairly quickly. I used a condom and we both fell asleep.

In the morning she asked if we had sex last night and I told her what happened and she got upset. Due to the fact that she said she couldn't do it and I still went for it. Dumbfounded by how obviously wrong my behaviour was, I apologized immediately. She accepted but was still kind of angry.

Fast forward 1 week after my doctor had gotten back from her vacation. I was leaving for mine. The itch got worse and the rash developed while I was gone, to which as soon as I was back I booked an appointment and was diagnosed with Scabies and prescribed the appropriate treatment. I used the cream and the next day I told her. Initially she wasn't that angry, she was just glad it wasn't anything more serious. She got the treatment the same day and dealt with the problem before it was one.

Fast forward another week and we decide to hangout for the night. I get to her place and we chat talk and chill for a bit before she brings up that night we hooked up. Telling me to never to that to her or anyone else ever again. I agreed wholeheartedly and promised both her and myself that it would never happen again. After a bit she starts asking about scabies, when/where/who I got it from etc. She put two and two together and asked if I had symptoms on halloween. Because I was itchy I told her yes and she went from calm and curious to fuming with rage. I told her I didn't know what it was if it was even anything. I knew this still didn't justify my actions but I thought it would at least decriminalize me a little in her eyes. Needless to say it didn't and after a few days of processing what I had done and almost given her. She basically declared her absolute disgust for me as a person and how she plans on publicly flaying me to some degree she sees fit. I didn't deny her of that as I understood how I had wronged her.

Its been about two or three weeks since then and I haven't heard from her nor reached out to her once. To what I understand shell be coming to my christmas party this Friday and I have no idea what to expect.

I guess what I'm wanting to know is your opinions on this situation and what I might be able to expect from her, how long shell be angry at me, how I can make it up to her or gain her forgiveness and how I should move forward.

TL;DR selfishly took advantage of my drunk ex, whilst having but not knowing I was host to an annoying contagious skin condition, I told her once I found out, eventually she found out I had it the same night we hooked up and now wants my metaphorical head on a plate. I feel loving terrible and want nothing more than to earn her forgiveness and leave this terrible mess behind us.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Serephina posted:

That was a lot of words to say 'we hosed'. I don't even get the point of that post, congrats on your drunken hookup and being a filthy animal with parasites all over?

It's a bit weird that they're going to the same club when they're broken up and he's hawking around trying to make excuses to stop her from hooking up with anybody else. Sounds like he's definitely not over it and is hanging around her to try and interfere with any opportunity for her to move on with her life. Oh, and it seems just a teensie bit rapey too.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Palpek posted:

Thought my boyfriend (29M) was cheating, but it turned out he was actually just buying a ring for me (30F). Turns out he bought the ring as an excuse, and instead was visiting his 'mother' who he told me was dead. What the gently caress is going on exactly? How do I confront him about this?

MFW I call the sidechick 'mom' to keep it secret but forget my fiancee knows my actual mom is dead.

Is it a side chick or his drug connection?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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Barudak posted:

Should he report it? Yes
Will the cops nearly assuredly ignore him and put his call on speaker and mute so they can laufh at him? Ooooh yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7SpXGz-XOc

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Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

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tactlessbastard posted:

The last few pages are mostly stories of absolute scum still managing to have girlfriends and get laid. I wonder if I was a 25 year old virgin and read about all those guys still getting laid if I might think maybe the female gender does have something against me oops now I'm an MRA

Is there nuance that separates MRA from incel or am I confusing it with redpill morons?

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