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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)
 
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Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

White House press conference, June 1st 2021


Joe Biden: my fellow americans today is-- it's a very special day for me and for uh and for america and for kamala here, say 'hello' to the american people, kammy!

Kamala Harris: *muffled sobbing*

Biden: aliens, man! the kind with the big things on their uh eyes they've got big black eyes and they are real. aliens are real, spaceships are real, intelligent life is perm--perp-- it's all over. it's over. intelligent life is all over the place, man.

Press Gallery: *diverse sounds of disbelief*

Biden: oh and I went ahead and dissolved the DEA, ATF, all those letters. smack, acid, jenkem, reefers, you can have whatever you want, as much as you want! america deserves these freedoms. today is it's uh today is a day that will be history, it will live on, i suppose. this day-- it gets to live on. *biden stands in silence for an extended period of time, staring into empty space above the press, before clearing his throat* oh heck heh i almost forgot, i do believe that vice-president harris has something she'd like to add. kammy?

arris, in a broken monotone: the methane clathrate cannon has fired, months ago. the ozone layer is now gone. clouds no longer exist. the rocks will not hide you. elon musk says he will destroy the sun. nothing awaits us but fire and corruption and the night-whispered ending of the world.

Biden: littlle green men, man! wow wow wow. too bad about the uh the other stuff but aliens!

Harris: domes cannot save you.

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Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Shear Modulus posted:

actually what happened was that one of those things landed on earth 65M years ago and it burrowed to the core of the earth then directed human evolution to suit its own ends

:monocle: my god that's an even better explanation for the recent unsettling methane spikes that the climate thread was getting fussed up about. it's not the CH4 bubble under the siberian traps. what we're seeing is increased biological CH4 emissions from the Tardigrade-Alpha-Prime who's been snoozing at the earth's core, now that it has reached adulthood and is beginning to stir.

oh sure LRADICKAL might beg to disagree but loving 2001s you know.

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

pancake rabbit posted:

let me tell ya, the one thought pattern you wanna avoid when contemplating these birds is "oh, i must be dying or in a coma and this is my subconscious manifesting Things That Aren't Possible into my reality in a desperate attempt to wake me up. none of this is real."


that's a neat thought to really let unfold inside your mind. fester on it and connect red yarn between all the moments and miseries of your life. it kinda makes sense!

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012



maybe the head was angled down more so that when you stood in front of the paws then Anubis would be giving you the stink-eye directly (through eyes made of giant rubies). it should be easier to counter-balance the head as well at such a reduced angle.

fake edit: the shaft on the tip-top of the sphinx's head was actually originally for providing structure and support for the Anubisian ear structure

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Riot Bimbo posted:

Hey yall on the hemisync thing, request?

Try to document behavior and personality changes, and if you are familiar with disassociation, note any worsening of symptoms?

about 20+ years or more ago i started playing around with hemisync stuff, mostly because i'd been having a lot really vivid and interesting dreams, and i wanted to have more control over that. the 'dream-world' of mine had been becoming more and more persistent and consistent, in terms of geography, denizens, and time-line, and i wanted to see if i could get lucid control in that locale.

i stuck with the hemisync stuff off and on for a few weeks but it didn't seem to do anything noticeable, really, until i guess something clicked and i had a Bad Experience.

so be careful out/in there!

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

The Saucer Hovers posted:

i conventionally viewed this post in gbs

this fool probably doesn't even know how to use the Lesser Seals of Solomon to guarantee victory during family Pictionary night. lol.

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

chainchompz posted:

I go out to let the dog out to pee, time slows down, an orb appears and a voice projects into my head:

"Don't forget to put bottles in the recycling bin"

I spend the next ten minutes in despair. My municipality stopped accepting bottles months ago.



And I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, "Come To Best Buy and See These Amazing Savings On All 2021 Floor Models."

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

D-Pad posted:

Experience Description
A friend persuaded me to submit this account, against my natural tendency on the matter. I have no real interest in following it up or being contacted in any way. It was a very frightening episode. It is traumatic enough, to be honest, to recall it just once at length here. But having set out to describe it, I will be as frank and as accurate as language can allow.

On the 15th July 2013, at about 7.45am, I was on my way to work and approaching the intersection and getting ready to take a left-hand turn. This is a notoriously dangerous intersection on any day, and there have been many accidents there. It is hard to see if the intersection is clear from the right and the left turn is particularly hazardous. I was running late and in a flustered state of mind. I had an important meeting that I’d been planning for carefully over a number of days, and a really stupid delay at the last minute put all of that in jeopardy. It should also be understood that a much better traffic signal system exists there today than was in place at the time of this incident.

I approached the intersection in a hurry. I looked to the right and believed that I had correctly viewed that nothing was approaching from the right, so I made the left turn. As I crossed the intersection, I glanced right once more and saw a vehicle heading straight for me at what could only have been in excess of ninety miles per hour. We saw each other. I saw the look in the other guy’s eyes because we were that close. A collision was absolutely inevitable. There is no way on this earth that it could have been avoided.

What happens next is EXTREMELY difficult to describe, but I will do my best. And this can be (and must be) taken to apply to everything that I am going to attempt to relate from this point onwards. Words, even the most carefully chosen words, capture no more than 1% of this experience at best, and even then very poorly. This is quite possibly the most frustrating thing about giving this account.

Across from the front of the car on the left, in almost the opposite direction to the oncoming vehicle, was a field. I suddenly became aware of a very large 'object' approaching slowly on a diagonal across this field. It was coming directly towards my car. Time was not functioning normally while this was happening, if it was functioning at all. I had the space to notice this happening, but I can’t explain how I was able to do that. The object when I first saw it, appeared to be about the size of a ten-floor tower block. It subjectively seemed to be about two or three hundred yards across the field. These size and distance descriptions are meaningless, as I’ll try to explain in a moment.

The object resembled a giant waterwheel lying on its side and rotating as it approached me and my vehicle. As it got closer, this didn’t take time, as we understand it. I saw that my first observation about its size was wildly inaccurate. It was more like the size of a small city. As it got closer still, I understood that all scale and distance estimates were meaningless. It was larger than what we think of as the world. As it approached me, I became aware of its power and significance. My mind interpreted this as being an up-close, giant-scale physical object.

Okay, now this part is particularly difficult to explain. As the object drew near to me, a kind of sensation came over my person and I knew exactly what this thing was. Not only that, but I knew everything that pertained to it, what it was, what it was doing, what it’s 'business' was with me, where and when I had seen it before, why I was seeing it now, and many many other things that I cannot now recall.

I had seen the object before I was born and I will see it again when I die. We all knew it before we were born. We will all see it when we die. But this information is eclipsed from us while we are alive. And that was why I was seeing it now in the experience, because I was in the process of dying in a fatal car crash.

Here’s what I can remember, as best it words can tell. This wheel wasn’t something that moved towards me through the world, or through reality somehow. That was an illusion that my senses were constructing for me. The wheel WAS reality, itself. It represented EVERY CONCEIVABLE POSSIBILITY for a life or for a world that could ever be envisioned or imagined. As it approached, I became aware that what we call our world was contained within it. It was simply one of the numberless slots or paddles in the 'water wheel.' It had always been so. My life, your life, our world, all of us - we were a part of this wheel structure and we had always been a part of this structure. It simply now made itself visible to me.

There then began the truly terrifying dimension of this experience. Words cannot even begin to describe the level of fear I experienced. The water wheel sort of rolled across me and then across the place where my car was in the road. As it did so, I began to be hit by each of the paddles in the wheel.

Remember that all of this is just a way of talking. It does not, and cannot, remotely describe the real situation as it actually was.

But some sense of it can be had by imagining that in the space of each 'paddle' there was a kind of spinning film of water, like a waterfall on its side. Imagine a film of water being thrown outward from the wheel in each slot, as if by centrifugal force. Imagine being slapped or splashed by each of these films as you collide with it and pass through it to the next one. This is what was happening. Except these weren’t just films of water. They were (for want of a better term) possible realities or what we might think of as universes or worlds. Again, our world, our entire universe as we normally think of it, was simply one among an infinite number of these. How did I know that there was an infinite number? I just did. A kind of knowing came with the event, and there was no doubting this knowing. It WAS so, and I knew it was so.

And because I had knowledge and understood what was happening in ways I can no longer communicate, I was afraid. I understood that I was about to be subject to the process that humans approximated with the term 'reincarnation.' This was why the wheel had come. I represented a kind of discrepancy that had to be fixed. The event, or perhaps the imminent event, on the highway had caused me to slip out of or fall between the paddles on the wheel. This structure had some kind of cosmic purpose of sorting things into their correct natural place. I was afraid and resisted being 'sorted' so the wheel stepped up its aggressive attempts to 'sort' me correctly.

With this came another understanding that frightened me even more. I knew that unless I soon selected one of these realities to slide back into, that the wheel would coerce the situation by deciding for me. One way or another, I WOULD be 'sorted' whether I liked it or not. If I didn’t choose for myself, I would simply be fitted into place at some nearest position on the wheel to the point where I failed to make the decision; if that makes sense. I was aware of having a limited ability to choose, but not much. Even that limited ability wasn’t much use because each reality slammed against me and through me before I could make much sense of what it contained.

Even I did not remain the same from one slot in the wheel to the next. It was as if when each film broke over me, I was destroyed and made again from the ground up as a completely new self. There was no continuous 'me' that traveled unaltered through that wheel and can somehow report back on this experience. This is just one of the many things that is so very hard to explain. The very idea of a continuous self was contradicted by this experience.

I have forgotten, or perhaps it was deliberately suppressed, the vast majority of what I saw in the various universes or paddles of the wheel. At the beginning, they seemed very similar to this world we inhabit, or believe ourselves to inhabit. For example, I have a floating memory of seeing various different scenarios of how the accident played out. I suspect that these were all nearby paddles on the wheel. In one of them I remember seeing what looked like my vehicle thrown right off the road and so badly damaged that it looked like it had been folded in the center like a pocket knife. I seemed to recall many other scenarios like this that I can no longer remember. To clarify: what I mean is that I seemed to file or flip through numerous conceivable (quantum?) possibilities for the outcome of the accident. I can remember doing this, but I cannot remember what any of these particular 'worlds' contained.

I have no explanation for why I failed to experience any of the phenomena usually reported with the imminent death situations like the tunnel, the light, and so on. I suspect that imminent death experiences are symbolic scenarios that flash up just as someone is entering or exiting the wheel, but before the situation has developed very far. At no stage did I see anything whatever that resembled what we humans would think of as an afterlife or spirit world or life after death realm. It’s as if we are either on the outer surface of the wheel itself, in one of its realized worlds, or else we are dead and we are the wheel itself. The wheel is a space where all uncreated possibility exists, but nothing completed or actual. And bear in mind that nothing was concealed from me. I was the ALL, and knew the ALL. I certainly don’t retain it or pretend do, but I knew it then.

I began to grow extremely panicked. Each time I thought I was just beginning to get a handle on things, I would be slapped over violently and ruthlessly into a new slot in the wheel and a whole new 'me' would crystallize, along with all the memories and assumptions that went along with that world. I remembered none of who I was just a moment ago in another paddle on the wheel. I had no memory whatsoever of where I had come from or the highway situation in my world. I had zero memory of that world. I knew I had come from a 'somewhere' but had no recollection of where that was, or even who I was. It was about the most bizarre thing that you could imagine.

Somehow though, and I can only assume that it happened without any conscious action on my part, the possibilities appearing in the wheel began to narrow down and become somewhat more familiar again. Scenarios associated with the accident began to appear once more. I say once more, but I have no real way of knowing whether this was a separate incidence of this to what I described above, or whether it was really the same incidence because time was functioning so unusually during the whole episode.

Again I saw, or seemed to see, variations or possible world-outcomes where I died in the crash. I seemed to understand intuitively that if I went 'into' any of these, I would be there for only a few moments or minutes at most, and then I would have to come out and face the wheel again almost immediately. I didn’t want to do this. But there was an odd kind of knowing associated with that too. The wheel didn’t seem bothered one way or the other. It didn’t seem to matter to it whether I emerged again in three minutes time or three decades time. All it cared about was sorting me, and there was a kind of ruthlessness to this that I will not soon forget.

I found myself back on the highway in what seemed to be a very short distance back up the road, still approaching the intersection. This is just one of the many mysteries associated with the event that I cannot explain. Did I choose a world which was a version of our universe in which the accident hadn’t quite happened yet, but was just seconds away from happening? I can’t say, because I have no memory of making that decision. I remember the look on that driver’s face as clearly as if it were yesterday. I remember him bracing back on the wheel. But I braked as I reached the intersection and that driver, or his car, were simply nowhere to be seen.


Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

pissinthewind posted:

That's cool, the notion that in certain mind states, reality is malleable is neat and really matches some experiences I've had that weren't necessarily near death, but body in acute distress certainly.

high fever? i had very serious pneumonia when i was 19 and boy howdy a cooking brain conjures up some literally indescribable topologies. "oh, i'm a perfect weightless sphere on an infinite plane, and everything is actually a language composed of mathematics that cannot exist, which is fine because i don't and never have existed, and now here i am laying under the kitchen table because the linoleum is refreshingly chill and my dog is licking my feet anxiously."

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Riot Bimbo posted:





my best serious guess is that this may be the remnants of an old well, because this property is super, super, super loving old.

but personally i blame radar and j'rooti

oh poo poo you inherited Mel's Hole , please start throwing stuff down there and see what happens

also your big deep hole looks like it has concrete sides (cribbing) or is that just camera artefacts?

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

okay, inspired by Fly Molo, here's my pictures of something odd last October

i was on a car trip and noticed something white and vertically elongated in the sky, above the treeline, to my south-southwest. there were no clouds. the windshield is filthy.



me and the other passenger spent a while both trying to convince each other it was Venus, because a bright celestial object right near the ecliptic early on a late October evening -- that's Venus, that's what it does.



but it wasn't a point light source? it had a visible structure, and the appearance of depth. here's an artistic interpretation, with the approximate colour gradient, taken from a boards of canada video (dayvan cowboy).



i said, 'it looks like it's as big as the CN tower', because i guess that's a standard unit of canadian measurement, and they agreed. it was big and distant, no changes in parallax or relative position in the sky after a few minutes of observation.

but also


so maybe the light of Venus shining through some distant clouds or airplane contrails? a stratospheric balloon launched from like Oregon? :shrug:

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

quote:

only 61 32-bit deviates per millisecond

that sounds like a lot

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

typhus posted:

Been seeing this study pop up in news a lot these past few days about possible evidence for non-classical processes in the brain, specifically entanglement mediated by consciousness-related brain functions. Rickshaw, any thoughts? https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/2399-6528/ac94be

Edit: am I understanding correctly that they observed the equivalent of EEG signals in an MRI machine geared to measure the proton spin of the brain's water content?

quote:

Whole-slice averaged signal time course (black line) which was selected by a mask over 12 heart cycles. The signal of the Superior sagittal sinus (grey line) as reference time frame demonstrates the instant breakdown of quantum coherence with the beginning outflow.

the self is created and destroyed with every heartbeat, making the heart the true seat of the soul :science:

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Slavvy posted:

What this thread has taught me:

Multiverse is real
Psi is real
Religion is real
Astrology is real
Cosmic consciousness is real
Time is fake
Death is fake
Self is fake
Physics is fake



Tighclops posted:

When I was a kid, probably around 1996 or so I was out looking at a meteor shower one night when I noticed what I thought was a satellite. At the time I thought "Cool! A satellite!" because I was young and hadn't seen one with the naked eye before. As the little point of light moved across the sky it suddenly and abruptly changed direction and began moving horizontally as quickly as it had been moving vertically across the sky, like one of the lightcycles from Tron.

I froze for a second before it dawned on me that human built spacecraft should not be able to do that, at which point I got spooked as hell and ran inside

a few months ago at like 2-3am i saw either a big/low orbit satellite break in two. it was moving across the sky looking very much like the ISS and then all of a sudden it splits into two pieces, and the bigger piece and the littler piece seemed to keep moving roughly parallel at the same speed and brightness as before. then they were behind trees :shrug:

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Inspector Hound posted:

A rocket spinning of control, like that one spiral that freaked everyone out a few years ago?

or two green garbage bags filled with industrial helium, tied shut and together with some teflon tape, with a chemical glow light tied between the two. when it ascends the unevenly filled bags go into a flat spiral and whip the chemical light around in a circle like that. takes a lot longer to rise than just a single garbage bag balloon as well

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

^edit: hey NDE posting pal

i had an NDE-like experience when i was in the hospital five years ago, but i can't describe it properly without feeling like i'm misrepresenting or confabulating. it's like a little slippery thing that descriptive words just bounce off of, something without any analogy

impossibly big and infinitely complex

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Glah posted:

If someone from indigenous peoples in Siberia, from times of Roman empire or one of our mammoth hunting ancestors experienced what I did, it wouldn't make much sense to them. That tells me that I didn't experience any kind of objective hell, it was tailor made for me by some other entity or my brain. And if that is the case, there's no certainty in the experience and that I should stop having this feeling of doom and despair about it. Because it wasn't literal, objective truth, it was subjective and that gives me enough comforting leeway that things can change.
that's good advice for thinking your way through some tough trips

quote:

I don't know if this gives more credence to all that loosh/prison planet theories or to something else.
any good links to this stuff, i missed that class

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Hooplah posted:

can you conceive of any outcomes in this setup which would satisfyingly convince you the experience isn't generated by the brain?

NDE adjacent, but the first time i took a big dose of mushrooms, i had a shadowy spirit guide whatever with me during some of the trip, and this spirit guide would preface every revelation to me by making sure i understood that this experience was going to be, as you said, generated in my brain. it became kind of a running theme, i'd stop to see the fractals in the wood panelling and the little voice would lecture me on optic nerve structure vis-a-vis common hallucinatory patterns. also the spirit guide kind of had the voice of stephan merchant?

after that the guide seemed really eager to discuss biblical prophets, so i redirected my trip outside, where it was early spring at 4:30am and it had just rained

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Justin Tyme posted:

Lifters are something I have been wanting to play around with but HV power supplies are expensive and dangerous. People use those five dollar taser modules from Amazon but they're lovely and burn out instantly because the sellers give bad specs.

just like with kinky stuff, when working with HV bring a spotter and a heavy-duty extension cord

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

what if it turns out that all the UAPs are just facets of the shadow people, who are one of numberless intelligent beings living in some sort of weird out-of-phasedness with this reality, and it turns out we;ve been sending meth smokers as emissaries all these years

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Ratios and Tendency posted:

Where might one obtain ketamine asking for a friend.

first you need to obtain a horse

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Sleekly posted:

the vast majority of trouble is directly aimed at us anyways once we are out the planet and ecosystem will be ok

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Slavvy posted:

Imo these outcomes are overly doomer because they ignore the fact that industry will collapse and we literally can't keep emitting as we are indefinitely but I could be wrong. Don't want to enter the psychic damage thread to find out though.
reading climate stuff published in the last few months is like watching a video of someone being murdered with a hammer over and over again, UFOs are way more fun yeah

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012


sussy

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

the trick to getting a good chance at a fun dream even if you're a weed addict is if you, right before you fall into a doped slumber, swallow down a few high dose melatonins and a delayed action stimulant like some time-release Vyvanse you found. ideally you'll fall asleep or pass out and then the stimulant should kick in an hour or so later and fling you into a semi-lucid pliable dream state and also the melatonin should kick in around then and really lengthen and distort time and make everything in your dream sharp and real, after that it's up to you but a heads up it's really difficult to wake up and not just wake up in another dream, and control over anything in the dream is spotty at best so don't fly too highh and don't think about certain things too much

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Bilirubin posted:

I once saw a huge fireball in northern Michigan, was orangish as I remember, but was so bright you could see smoke trailing behind it and it made a ripping sound as it passed overhead. I recall it travelling fairly slowly, compared to others. I've seen a lot of meteors (used to count Perseids as part of the Junior Astronomy club in my hometown) but that is the only one that I heard.

Apparently part of it splashed down in Grand Traverse Bay

i saw a similar fireball except green in northern alberta quite a while ago, along with the weird crackling sound it made. https://ethw.org/Electrophonic_Meteors ftw meteor-to-skull audio technology

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

all shall follow the path, for the path is grey. you must look away from the lights of possible futures and follow Geno

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

why shoot kindly cylinder UFOS when you could hug them instead?

this german site calls this an airwife, huh

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

mdemone posted:

luminosity in any part of the EM spectrum spreads out isotropically across a spherical surface

if you are farther away you will get fewer photons and there are only so many to spare

edit: this is called flux, did any of you take physics
Fluxions in the Luminiferous Æther

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

endocriminologist posted:

I have been terribly sick for a week and let me tell u... dreams actually get way worse when your brain is overheating. Got so spooked by my cat wanting to cuddle last night I let out a yelp which woke everyone up. Archon pranks by proxy

when i had OG covid in 2020 i had wild feverish episodes for an evening and ended up laying in bed having interminable hallucinations and dream-like states, and just insane shivering to the degree it made my bed-frame rattle. 100% do not recommend, drink extra water + electrolytes, and remember that any entities you encounter in a feverish or delirious state are not to be trusted in the slightest no matter what they offer

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

does anyone have a link to that strange article, published like three years ago on like raytheon.com or northrop-grumman.com, that talked about parallel worlds here on earth and it had this really cagey "haha i know! it's not possible! but let's just for a moment let say it's real haha! that wouldn't be so outside the bounds of known physics really! in fact it would be perfectly normal!" tone to it

my brain may be exaggerating somewhat but it was odd

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

strange feelings re Daisy posted:

It was about a shadow biosphere of unconventional lifeforms scientists haven't noticed until now. The clickbait teaser made it sound like a parallel universe, but that's not what it was really about.

shadow biosphere still sounds pretty gnarly ngl

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012


thank you, that's a lot less weird than i remember, but the wayback machine doesn't seem to show signs of meddling

i did find that i'd retweeted a screenshot of the original clickbait picture though and it's way better than the one they have now


fake edit: lets timg that bad boy

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

reference image for the purposes of deducting planetary conjunctions from blurry videos

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

i am harry posted:

wow I had no idea they were doing that but I should have!

apropos of nothing if you search my posting in this thread you'll see a big post i did about a mysterious thing in the sky i took pictures of, and i said "it didnt look like a weather balloon!" and goons said "it's a weather balloon", and then i stalked off and looked more closely at pictures of weather balloons on bing.com and realized i had completely the wrong idea of what modern weather balloons looked like

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012


i've been playing "x-com 2: terror from the deep" in hardcore mode this last week (no reloading, let the bodies hit the floor) and every time i murder a little Aquatoid i think of jrooty and those other dorks and i smile, also holy poo poo it's a hard game :(

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Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

Delta-Wye posted:

baby its somewhere, everythings like somewhere



i had lots of bad and weird dreams about that warehouse when i was a little kid, although it's funny that would have made more an impression on my 6 year old brain than seeing faces getting melted :shrug:

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