/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Resting Lich Face posted:

Man gently caress those guys.

... or rather don't.

I think that's why the whole stay at home dad gig gets such dubious credibity. For every guy being a great dad and involved in pulling their weight, there's probably two others riding on the concept of being so 'progressive' as an excuse to do as little as possible.

# ¿ May 22, 2019 17:55

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 23:46

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Biohazard posted:

Yeah we seriously need to rethink how we handle time off for parents in this country. And while I think the first part of that needs to be ensuring that mothers get paid maternity leave, paternity leave is pretty drat important from what I've seen. Having a kid absolutely wrecks a body for a period, I don't think many people realize how major of a deal it really is. So to just go "take some time off and take care of screaming, making GBS threads, puking infant and keep it from dying all by yourself" really isn't a great solution.

Depending on the couple's strategy, paternity leave can be used directly after mom goes back to work to maximize the amount of time the baby has with a full time parent. At least in CA each parent can take six weeks paid+six weeks unpaid which means that child will get the first six months of their life with mom then dad before both have to go to work. That's being pretty optimistic though, since childbirth can be hard on many women.

What sucks is how much pressure parents have to return to work, not just dads but moms as well. My sister in law only took a few weeks off after she had a kid because her work threw such a massive guilt trip for her to come back sooner and my brother was unemployed at the time.

# ¿ May 22, 2019 18:15

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Power Khan posted:

My gf pisses in an ice cream bucket and throws it out the window at night
We have been dating 3 months, and recently she got really drunk and admitted sometimes she is too lazy to walk up the stairs and use the toilet, so just uses an ice cream container and throws it out the (first floor) window. She has done it a few times since, and I always feel a bit odd about it and think it's weird. She says that it doesn't matter and saves her time. Would it be too much to insist she goes upstairs to the toilet, or should i just let her do her thing??

--------------

A friend of a friend used to get really weird when he was drunk, and he got quite drunk sometimes. One of those nights, he shambled home and for some unknown reason he decided that it was a sensible idea to poo poo out of the appartment's window in the vestibule. I can't fathom why, the only window there was a small one where you could barely fit your rear end through, similar to those that they usually have in toilets, and ffs, the toilet was right adjacent. Maybe he didn't want to wake up the others with the sound of flushing.

In the morning he was woken up by his mom screaming at him, because apparently not only did he partially miss the window and poo poo on the wall and radiator, but with another burst he also managed to hit the windowsill of the neighbour below. The guy came up to inquire why there was human poo poo on there.

I swear there are more piss bottlers than people with clinical depression it seems. Laziness is just an excuse, they just love hoarding up those jars of liquid gold.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

did you miss the part where that guy's dad is whaling on him as just a casual thing

gee where does he get the idea that's how you deal with people

How does someone manage to LOSE so many fights? This guy is jockeying for Glass Joe's boxing record, christ.

# ¿ May 22, 2019 21:13

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

MasBrillante posted:

Gotta be honest; I think it�s loving hilarious that this woman still exceeds the bar set on a table in hell by male piss-bottlers and dumps her piss outside.

I haven't discounted the possibility there is some rube Goldberg device hidden in the bushes that funnels the urine into some homemade bottling plant in the basement.

# ¿ May 22, 2019 21:50

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Biohazard posted:

NTA. I'll never understand people who can't grasp that not everyone is seeking out a relationship at every point in their lives. Relationships can be great and fulfilling, but since this guy sounds like he's trying his best to just be a really good parent, there's absolutely no reason he should feel any bullshit pressure to "get back out there" just because this chick is so co-dependent she can't imagine life without a SO.

Probably could have handled it better, but some people won't back off until you flip the gently caress out at them.

Not to mention that dating gets complicated by single parenthood. It's not just about him and her, it's him, her, and how his kid fits into all of it.

And it is totally possible that he might be just put off by the type of women that are a little too enthusiastic about dating a single dad..

# ¿ May 22, 2019 22:00

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

LadyPictureShow posted:

Coming to the ring, weighing in at 115 pounds..... THEEEEEE FAAAAAAAAILSOOOOOOON!

*Tubthumping by Chumbawumba starts playing in the background *

# ¿ May 22, 2019 23:15

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Xaris posted:

yeah, gently caress this rear end in a top hat. i hope he gets condemned to applebees hell in fat suburbia hell alone for the rest of his life. enjoy those bloomin onions i guess.

$15-$20 for an entree is pretty much normal for a middle-end non-chain restaurant, and if he ever eats anywhere in europe hes gunna die of a heart attack.

certainly a maga chud

I'm certain I've gotten stuck behind this kind of guy at Panda Express. You know, the annoying person who holds up the line because he's micromanaging the poor worker to get the maximum possible portions.

:byodood:

"If I'm gonna pay a dollar extra for walnut shrimp you better be getting me a goddamn mountain of shrimp!"

# ¿ Jul 11, 2019 17:36

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA if I haven�t talked to my sister in a month after she ruined a family photo and made my wife cry at our wedding reception?

More of a �are we the assholes� because it�s about both my wife and I. TL;DR: at bottom. My apologies for grammar and formatting errors, posting on mobile and struggled keeping it under 3000 characters.

My wife�s cousin was supposed to do a reading for the wedding, but canceled at 7am. Due to this, we were relying on my sister. I called my sister she said she'd do it.

A few hours before the wedding. My sister sent my wife a text: �I�m really sorry that I cannot read the prayer I just can�t handle reading in front of so many people thank you for understanding!�

My wife said: �I accept your apology, but I don�t understand. We needed you to do this after my cousin bailed and stressed me out so I can�t be stressed out on our wedding day. Don�t worry about it. Thankfully my maid of honor stepped in, �

While not ideal, everything else at the wedding was perfect.

At a Mexican wedding reception, the bridesmaids have to participate in a serpentine dance where they run around the bride/groom. Afterwards is the bouquet toss.

My wife called my sister over to participate and she kept saying no. My wife thought she couldn�t hear her over the four hundred people talking and the music so she yelled at my sister. She finally did come over and said that she wasn�t going to do the serpentine. My wife pleaded to her that this was the one thing my sister couldn�t back out of and she still said no. So my wife wife said okay and rolled her eyes.

My sister said she couldn�t participate because she had hurt her foot and that my wife screamed at her. I told my sister I would talk to my wife, but that she had to participate because as a bridesmaid for the bouquet toss. If she couldn�t run she could be at the front and walk. I went to my wife and she explained her side to me, but before we could talk to my sister, the serpentine started. Thankfully my sister joined in at the front.

After this, my sister left for 45 minutes. I had been wanting a family photo with my dads family, the first in a decade. And when it was time to do it, my sister refused to come back in.

When my sister finally came back in, my wife apologized that she only yelled because she thought my sister couldn�t hear and that she had wanted her to not miss out on the bouquet toss or the awesome serpertine.

To which my sister said angrily replied, �I accept your apology, but I don�t forgive you and we will talk about this later.� Before she walking back to her table.

It was the final straw and my wife started crying. Her moms friend saw her crying and told her parents and she had to tell them what happened.

We are still upset and hurt by my sister�s actions during what should have been a perfect night centered on us.

So Reddit, are we the assholes here?

TL;DR: My sister refused multiple times to participate in wedding activities, missed important family photos, and made my wife cry. We have not talked to her since . We are still angry and hurt.

That dance they mention is a lot of fun but depending on how drunk and rowdy the guests are it can get pretty intense. I've been to a few wedding receptions where people were having wardrobe malfunctions and toppling over from centripetal force due to running around way too fast on the dance floor.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2019 00:57

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Girlfriend [26F] Broke Up With Me [28M] and is Furious I Went No Contact Without Telling Her.

Hey relationships:

I've been sitting on this for a while, but I need some solid advice.

I was seeing my partner for over a year and a half at the time of the breakup. It was incredibly sudden, and what followed was a rollercoaster of emotions and a week where I was being strung along while my ex wouldn't talk to me. She was convinced I had cheated while I hadn't.

Eventually, a sit-down conversation was had. It did not go well. I don't want to go into too much detail, but it was very berating and there was an audience of friends alongside her. When it was clear we weren't seeing eye to eye, she told me to "get the f*$& out". She went to cry with her friends, and I left her apartment key on the table.

I immediately stopped communication at this point, despite her sending me a text asking if I got home safe, and a follow-up text the next morning stating that "In case it wasn't clear, we're done." That is when I blocked and deleted.

The next few days I received messages from all members of her family asking me to talk to her and reconcile. Apparently she had gone home to her family and was stricken with grief. Her family messaged me saying that this "misunderstanding can be fixed" and to talk to her. It eventually accumulated into her changing her number to contact me again, telling me she still loves me and doesn't want to break up, but that I should let her know if "I want to make the breakup permanent."

A week later, I received an angry message saying that my family is manipulating me for convincing me to not talk to her, and that she never agreed to No Contact. Therefore I was ghosting her. She then tried to hack my social media (I noticed when my login IPs registered at her apartment).

A final call to her parents ended this.

Now, almost a year out, I still have trouble dealing with whether or not I should feel guilty. I guess it ultimately comes down to the No Contact rule and whether I should've stated "I'm not talking to you."

Tl;dr: Ex breaks up with me after bringing her friends to the public execution, gets mad when I won't reply afterwards, and has her family attempt to establish contact before harassing me over text for going no contact without "authorization." Should I feel guilty for not contacting?

Edit: Since a few commenters are mentioning that she reached out to apologize, I should make it clear that never once did she actually apologize. She simply said she didn't want to break up, but not once rescinded her accusations or said that she was sorry for what she said and did. And yes, some things she said during the breakup were incredibly harsh.

Edit 2: Since there's a lot of conversation going around about me feeling "guilty", let me better explain. What I want to ask is whether or not I did the right thing, and whether or not I should've sat down after the fact and told her that No Contact will occur. I should also add that after the harassment she sent me, I don't feel guilty for No Contact, as her messages clearly showed me that I wouldn't have wanted to talk to her again anyway.

ALL HAIL PETE

# ¿ Jul 26, 2019 06:31

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Is the updated version of the ride really that bad?

# ¿ Aug 3, 2019 06:31

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Scathach posted:

Ahaha gently caress that guy. She's definitely an rear end in a top hat but that's not a bad thing. Maybe if more creeps actually had consequences to their lovely behavior they would start hiding their creepiness and go back to masturbating to animal porn in the dark and avoiding women completely.

She should sue the school for not acting sooner since her complaints about the guy were validated but only when they found out he thought Hitler was cool.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 04:06

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

sneakyfrog posted:

how old are these people?

ITS SLEEPYTIME LADY

LIGHTS OUT
*cries for hours*

# ¿ Aug 22, 2019 00:31

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

I really wonder what happens when the rug is pulled out from under these lazy guys. A lot of them don't change for such a long time because they're in an environment where there's zero personal incentive for them to be more independent. If you had someone in your life catering to your every need and you were not ashamed of it, why would you want anything else?

Which is why it's interesting when that support system actually goes away. Without a mom or wife to nock off of, how well do they fare? Probably the most infuriating are the ones that suddenly get a job and wipe their own rear end PERFECTLY FINE, indicating they were certainly capable of it all along but just let others do all the work.

There was a type of sociopath like this in the book 'The sociopath next door'. Their gimmick was that they were very manipulative at doing as little work as possible in life. Like it wasn't even learned helplessness because they were perfectly functional in theory, they just had zero shame in getting everyone else to take care of them.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2019 00:23

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Cowslips Warren posted:

Then there is my friend, who has a four month old baby, and a 30something manchild husband who sees no point in laundry, or cooking, or doing anything outside of work, and when he's at home, he's parked in front of his PC and playing WoW for hours. He justifies not changing any diapers or feeding the baby or even holding her that he doesn't want to hurt her by dropping her, and it's her mom who wanted her anyway. The sad thing is she admitted to me she knew she'd essentially be a single mom once they got pregnant, but having a baby was the only reason she got married in the first place, so....so much to unpack.

I know a couple 'stay at home dads' that are like this. They are home all the time, but don't really take care of their kid in spite of having all the time - that task often gets delegated to a female relative like mom or a sister.

That's really depressing he doesn't even hold his daughter though

I'm also assuming he just pops in earplugs or something when his daughter is crying in the middle of the night?

The passive agressive solution to these lazy guys is to make NOT contributing more work than changing your kid's goddamn diaper. They can spend 5 minutes changing a baby or spend 2 hours arguing with their spouse about it.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 16:33

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Cowslips Warren posted:

No, he just ignores the baby when she cries. I imagine more than once my friend has told him it's his turn, and he just rolls over and sleeps, knowing she will eventually do it if he doesn't. Same thing in regards to diapers, laundry, etc. He refuses to be left home with her either. Kid is barely four, five months old. I can't wait till she starts crawling or walking.

I really think we should waive the 'domestic violence is never okay' rule for manchildren like this who likely justify their inaction by saying "it's not my job".

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 22:13

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I feel like any kind of thread canon would be relatively simple:

Pete
Eagle BF
Australian Cousin Wears Dog
Timothy the rat
Angry masturbation GF
Tummys were unhappy
Fightman

anything else people reference a lot?

Family Poop Knife
Berth El Pup

# ¿ Oct 4, 2019 21:59

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

There was a bit in season 3 where a guy was humping a woman to the rhythm of a bass track they could hear through their hotel walls. I'd like to think the writers drew on the Tetris Humper story for inspiration.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2019 20:31

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

No and I'm not going to out the person who it is. I asked my wife if she watched the full video and she gave me a disgusted look, she just deleted it immediately when she saw the thumbnail. I asked if I could see it, or if I could get a snapshot of the email to share with y'all, and she expressed concern that I'm spending too much time online and not enough time caring for my newborn baby (who is a writhing pile of beetles but i digress)

Let she who is without sin cast the first beetle

# ¿ Oct 7, 2019 21:58

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Cowslips Warren posted:

One of my friends did not want to have kids. He and his wife were on the same page until her sister had a baby, the first grandchild in the family. Then she quickly said she wanted a baby too. He, being for once a responsible manchild (and he is a manchild), said no. For some weeks this was a huge fight, with her saying she wanted a baby just because, and him saying no, because then the spare room wouldn't hold his movie collection and Funko Pops, it'd be the baby's room. And also he liked to be able to go to theme parks and travel whenever he wanted. He liked being an uncle, he would have hated being a dad. She insisted they could do it.

Back and forth until she finally asked for, I poo poo you not, a list of demands she would meet so they would have a baby. He wrote out a list of about 50 different sexual things to the tune of 'anal every night for a month' and 'threesome with a hot 18 year old' and the like.

When they got divorced I was not surprised.

The mistake people make is thinking they can talk the other person out of the decision. Because either the Pete sticks to their guns and a lot of time gets wasted for the same outcome, or they end up as one of the numerous r/relationships stories of a parent that resents the very existence of a child their life.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2019 01:57

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Power Khan posted:

A couple of comments later, he posts that she's filipina. The chance that she'd jettison these leeching assholes is close to zero.

The dude needs to bail out yesterday

My wife has a Filipina co worker who was going to get guilted into spending $40,000 in savings to remodel her parents house. When she talked to my wife about it, she was reminded that she could easily afford to buy a condo instead. Given how much prices jumped up since then, I can't imagine how worse off she would have been had she spent it on her parents.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2019 15:59

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Blade Runner posted:

Oh god I'm an old man now

# ¿ Oct 23, 2019 16:57

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Admiralty Flag posted:

One more data point...

When going through foster parent training, in the module on traumatized children and teenagers, we were familiarized with frequent behaviors and coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, one of the more frequent behaviors for girls (either pre or post pubescent) who have been sexually exploited or assaulted is public humping or grinding of furniture, pillows, and/or people, the last of which was given to us in some detail as a cautionary tale.

This story is all through some Reddiot's lens so there's no way to be certain but sexual abuse is definitely a possibility, though not to say all female pillowhumpers are the result of mods knowing or the like.

I remember hearing this too. Some foster parents (dads particularly) were warned that some foster kids would want to sit on their lap and 'grind' against them :stonk:

because as sexual abuse victims they associated the behavior with (I'll get rewarded/not beaten if I do this to dad). In the Reddit story I guess I'd be more worried if the woman was twerking on the guy's adult male relatives in that case.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2019 17:17

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Aren't dachshunds the kind of dog that strongly bonds to one owner and will be violent and agressive to anyone else (including spouses or children)? My friend used to have one that was a raging rear end in a top hat to anyone that wasn't her or her sister. I wouldn't be keen on spending Thanksgiving around a dog constantly trying to shred my ankles.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 21:12

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

R/relationships: Enter the Farting

# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 23:45

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 23:46

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Smirking_Serpent posted:

lol in ten years we're gonna have asset forfeiture for twelve year olds. get fuckin ready

Forfeit what, their precious vape pens?

# ¿ Dec 13, 2019 07:33

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