google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

whoa rad someone extracted the entire outside-area from the game data

I'm the exit to heaven

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 18:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:39

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

FMguru posted:

by 2012 half of all tvs sold will have remotes like this

I'm the colored buttons labelled as such

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 22:37

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PCjr sidecar posted:

good to know you hate the colorblind

genetic failures IMO

actually I thought that, but then they labelled the record button but not ff or rw or pause so gently caress this clown remote for clowns at the clown circus

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 22:54

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PCjr sidecar posted:

im confused why 0 is eject

probably some loving binary inside joke those fucks came up with

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 23:00

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

pagoe posted:

im using google play music all access and the loving shuffle function doesnt work so i end up listening to my music in the order i added it to the playlist in LIKE A loving ANIMAL. how the gently caress do you gently caress up making the loving shuffle option actually loving shuffle in a loving music player? this is basic fucjking functionality ghoogle. jesus. gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress CUFKC

has google figured out gapless playback or is that still black voodoo magick

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 14:05

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

The Leck posted:

https://blog.hipchat.com/2011/06/23/a-tale-of-a-ridiculous-billboard/
our grim cyberpunk present

ftge

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 17:42

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

hobbesmaster posted:

to be fair there's still plenty of uses for this kind of vehicle even if it can only navigate along a fixed route containing major thoroughfares

you just described a train

# ¿ Aug 31, 2014 15:28

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

cremnob posted:

�I have not used Google Glass,� Mr. Del Vecchio told the FT in an interview. �It would embarrass me going around with that on my face. It would be OK in the disco, but I no longer go to the disco.�

Mr. Del Vecchio, the 79-year-old executive chairman at the world�s largest eyewear manufacturer by sales, said the success of the partnership depended on the �bravura� of the US group in improving the technology so that it gains mass market appeal.

�We at Luxottica know how to make the frames, we know how to make them beautiful, we can call them Ray-Ban, or Oakley, we can put the names of our brands, we can make them light and of quality, but in order to do that Google needs to make a step forward [to broaden the technology�s appeal],� he said.

quote:

A Luxottica spokesman said, �Mr. Del Vecchio was making a joke about his age. Luxottica is completely committed to its partnership with Google and we have a team working flat out to be ready to launch the device in 2015.�

that's not even good spin

like, the pr person got handed this to do damage control on and was "seriously, i'm not a loving magician"

# ¿ Sep 3, 2014 22:00

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

flakeloaf posted:

wait, a seventy year old man doesn't like ~~technology?~~ looking like a chucklefuck

# ¿ Sep 3, 2014 23:23

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Cardboard Box A posted:

Finally! It's out of beta!

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/4/6099065/nest-protect-updates-smoke-detector-to-reduce-false-alarms-from-steam

Nest Protect updates its smoke detector to reduce false alarms from steam... And a new 'safety history' shows you when your house burned down

Version 2.0 of the Protect software will use the device's humidity sensor to better distinguish between smoke and steam, which the company says is responsible for more than half of false alarms.

finally it can do something that my smoke detector that probably cost less than $1 to make can do

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 15:05

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PleasureKevin posted:

I tried to gently caress around with the style but got really carried away and redesigned the whole site to look like iMessage in iOS 7

i would take great pleasure in this kevin

# ¿ Sep 15, 2014 20:16

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Google is the corporate equivalent of Tom Hanks in "Big"

Mentally and emotionally underdeveloped manchild with too much money.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2014 21:43

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Pinterest Mom posted:

fishmech?

no that's just the way fishmech writes

# ¿ Nov 1, 2014 17:21

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

and party on, dudes

# ¿ Nov 4, 2014 05:42

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PCjr sidecar posted:

he already launched, but you can submit wallet to his watchlist
http://didgoogleshutdown.com/

Is proofreading some kind of lost loving art or something these days? loving hell.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 00:40

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PleasureKevin posted:

i've actually been waiting for another big shut down like this to officially "launch" it. but you can re-submit any of the existing apps and i'll delete the old one. in fact i insist everyone do this with their wittiest descriptions then i will zend it to the blogs of the world.

quote:

Google's theory is that creating as many apps as possible, and alloiwng them to fail fast and painlessly will eventually give them another hit app. But this ignores the needs of users.

fix that poo poo

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 01:23

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Sagebrush posted:

i actually like having my email separated into separate apps for personal and work so that i don't have to mix them, a difficult concept to grasp i know

if only there was some way to keep the accounts separate in the app, alas, a man can dream

# ¿ Nov 28, 2014 14:58

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Sagebrush posted:

I have the best possible combination of passports, American and Canadian

you wishy washy gently caress

# ¿ Nov 28, 2014 20:28

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

computer parts posted:

it's more aerospace engineering

but yes it's dumb

the latest thing is that they're going to have to paint the fuel trucks with white solar reflective paint because the f-35 uses the fuel as a heat sink and if the fuel from the truck is too hot the plane shuts down.

I'm sure Lockheed Martin conveniently sells the required paint.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 19:29

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

id imagine fuel as heatsink is common but not normally able to shut things down if the fuel isnt too hot to touch

yeah, it's fairly common, the part about it not working when one of the operational theaters is going to be a desert is loving hilarious.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 20:07

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

is there a kill count for it yet? has it actually gone on any missions?

some pilots I think

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 20:51

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

I can only imagine what the hookers-n-blow parties are/were like for the people responsible for the F-35

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 22:16

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Shifty Pony posted:

we would have been much better off dumping the f35 budget into updating things like the b52. could put modern turbofans on if and various cargo aircraft and significantly cut the airforce fuel expenditure

but nope. polishing and improving what is already out there is boring so we go after the new shiny thing and abandon the old. see for example google's product development and support "strategy".

one of these things will pay for enormous amounts of cocaine, mistresses, child support, and divorce settlements. The other will not.

I leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out which one.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 17:09

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

PleasureKevin posted:

my family says we're one 12th Jewish and I hate it

and the ignore the female lineage thing completely

Blue Train posted:

how could you be a twelfth it would be 8 or 16

also lol

talkin about the length of he dilz

# ¿ Jan 12, 2015 20:26

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Progressive JPEG posted:

full throttle and braking at all times

smdh if you aren't parking like this all the time

# ¿ Jan 15, 2015 16:46

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Shaggar posted:

I didn't even know that was a thing. why would you ever host anything w/ goog

why would you depend on anything from goog that you'd like to use in 5 years time?

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 21:40

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/google-glass-explorer-program-dead-now-what/

# ¿ Jan 18, 2015 18:27

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

duTrieux. posted:

statistically, Stymie is right

loving statists

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 19:59

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

yo what's the site that shows all the dead google products

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 20:01

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

computer parts posted:

did microsoft or any other big company ever act like this or is google a pioneer in that regard

A. if you don't listen to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, kill yourself
B. http://www.npr.org/2013/05/11/182873683/google-chairman-eric-schmidt-plays-not-my-job

quote:

SAGAL: So your story is is that Google, as we know, was founded by these two grad students at Stanford who came up with this search thing. They were very young men at the time, and they founded this company, and you were brought in to provide adult supervision, as they said in the day. Is that about right?

SCHMIDT: That's roughly right.

SAGAL: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And so, what was Google like as a company when you showed up? What did you have to teach them to do, like guys, you're going to have to wear pants to work. I'm sorry. This is a business?

SCHMIDT: Well, we actually had to have a rule, we had to have two rules. The first rule - these are both rules I enacted. The first is that you had to wear clothes to work.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2015 15:19

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

teen bear posted:

is it actually a good thing to listen to usually?

yeah, it's pretty funny. The host (Peter Sagal) is witty and quick and the guest panel is comprised of comedians/humorists (usually) and they're pretty funny and the guests are usually pretty interesting.

If you like The Daily Show/Colbert you'd like it.

In Google news, I just got so fed up with Chrome that the goog can suck a bag of dicks because I'm done with it.

One less google thing in my life, yay

# ¿ Feb 13, 2015 17:13

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

this thread have its own bingo card yet? it loving should

# ¿ Feb 17, 2015 05:34

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

i'd be curious to talk to the guy in charge of programming the drat things. like, would he say something like "*sigh* yeah the hardware is dogshit but management wouldn't spring another $10/unit for better quality control and it's been a nightmare trying to code around dodgy electronics" or would he be all "idk what these fucks are saying, worksforme won'tfix!!"

what does your heart tell you?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 00:06

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

FMguru posted:

is that the one that prints out a qr code that the customer is supposed to scan to complete the transaction?

you laugh, but I deal daily with "idea" guys who come up with poo poo that can only be solved in 10 steps and get huffy when I tell them how nobody in their right loving mind will do it and refuse to even consider it as a line item to be discussed at our project meeting.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 22:14