Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

Cenodoxus: Mar 29, 2012; while [[ true ]] ; do
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psydude posted:

Why settle for boring, every day spreadsheets when you can have multiplayer spreadsheets?

I started playing EVE as a hobby so I could stop constantly thinking about work and the endless stream of side projects I get tasked with, like making a custom web app to replace some stupid bulky spreadsheet.

Fast-forward 2 years and I was once again making a custom web app to replace a stupid bulky spreadsheet... for EVE.

EVE IS REAL :ccp:

# ¿ Jun 3, 2016 15:03

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 11:33

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RFC2324 posted:

http://www.today.com/style/jnco-jeans-return-90s-throwback-comeback-t54096

quote:

To ensure accuracy, Cohen said that Guotai brought in "a group of JNCO collectors."

Juggalos. You bussed in some Juggalos.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2016 02:46

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gfsincere posted:

There isn't a single person in Congress that I wouldn't destroy if they tried to bring me into a committee on anything.

"How could this breach happen?"

"IDK, probably the same way you made it to 58 years old and had children and still don't know how vaginas work or how to check your own email."

No company in their right mind puts someone front-and-center in the subcommittee chambers without general counsel, pages worth of planned statements and responses, and a PR rep or five. You'd get tackled by your own crew before you got to the "g" in "vaginas". :v:

Sickening posted:

I honestly didn't know they could do that. Who ever thought that was a good idea?

If you're subpoenaed by Congress, you're under a legal obligation to answer their questions. Dodging them or "not taking it seriously" can be ruled contempt. The relevance of a given question is, of course, wide-ranging and subject to debate, but it's still not something you'd want to test to become a BuzzFeed hero.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2016 16:40

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gooby pls posted:

Uhh, new does new hire press releases. I can't imagine coming up with a quote that doesn't make me sound like mayor of bonertown.

"How Can VMs Be Real If Our Hypervisors Aren't Real"

# ¿ Jun 10, 2016 15:02

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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I hear linemen get paid a good amount.

It's mostly because of hazard pay.

My father-in-law has been a lineman for almost 25 years and his body has worn to the point where he literally can't do it anymore. He makes loving bank but now he can barely move and is faced with the choice of being stuck behind a desk waiting to collect pension or just retiring right now and living off of savings until pension/SS kicks in. He's also told some of the most :stonk:

stories about watching coworkers die right in front of him from electrocution or nasty falls.

It's a job that will wreck you, physically and emotionally.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2016 20:34

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goobernoodles posted:

Anyone know of a service that would transcribe voicemail into text, then email that to a per-determined email address or distribution list? In the event of an emergency, we're looking to have a phone number the person at the site could call for a quick, verbal run-down of the situation, and have that transcribed and texted to a certain group of people.
...
This could be nice for a ticketing system as well.

Lord Dudeguy posted:

Lync w/ Exchange does this.

It's hilarious.

I have an Outlook folder called "Comedy Goldmine". It's almost entirely filled with hilarious typos, butt-dialed emails from executives, and Exchange transcriptions. :v:

Voicemail:

quote:

Hello, this is Lord Dudeguy calling from site 3, there was a UPS failure in our network closet and three of five servers are dead. Users can't access Exchange but intranet and internet seems to load fine. I can be reached at 317-555-8722. Thanks.

Ticket:

quote:

Hello is horde dog eye calling night tea, there was a UPS mailer in our at work clothes and three alive surfers are dead. You sirs can't a sex change but in transit and internet seems too low fine. I can breach three one seven 555-872 two tanks

Preview provided by Microsoft Speech Technology.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2016 04:18

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SaltLick posted:

I just discovered Jobr which is a Tinder-esque app for jobs. I would love to hear if anyone has gotten a bite from this

spam whale holy grail

That's an interesting concept... just make sure you use protection. Lord knows how many people have hit it and quit it before you. Remember, the good ones always require a little bit of legwork.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2016 14:21

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skipdogg posted:

Anyone else work in a highly regulated environment? It's been a frustrating week and I'm just venting here, but I swear to loving god I do like 5 minutes of actual work. 40 hours a week, 25 of those are meetings, 14 hours and 55 minutes is spent figuring out the "paperwork" and getting authorization to make the change, and maybe 5 minutes spent actually doing something. I mean I get it... major financial institution... but drat its frustrating. Still better than my last job, and they pay me well, so maybe I should not bitch at all.

Thanks for listening.

HIPAA here. I've alternated between "this loving sucks, just let me do the thing" and "I didn't feel like doing anything this week anyway, so whatever." It's a double-edged sword.

The best thing we've done to combat the friction has been standardizing the hell out of all of our changes and pre-approving whatever we can. It's taken a few years to get to this point but we're finally at a place where 90% of what we do bypasses CAB and anything that doesn't is probably big enough to warrant that extra attention.

And despite all that, it still takes 15 clicks to close a god drat ticket.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2021 03:25

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LochNessMonster posted:

If you really want to nail it, make sure you keep harrassing the teams to fix these vulnerabilities without offering any guidance or how to do this.

Bonus points if you double down on not applicable or false positive results.

You can also put yourself on top by threatening to disable their network ports if they haven't fixed all their vulnerabilities by X date (usually next Friday). When they push back about "change control", "production impact", blah blah blah, CC the next 2-3 people in their chain of command and state unequivocally that they don't care about security and are just trying to avoid doing work.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 18:01

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Sepist posted:

We are doing some redundancy redesign in AWS which is allowing us to reclaim something like 250 t3.medium and a bunch of other RIs for another 2 years, so one of my guys had the great idea to set up our AWS account on the reseller marketplace. We got approvals and whatnot and had finance zoom with us on setting up the bank account info, but they thought maybe our accountants should be involved. Now the whole thing has blown way up where we are getting asked why we're trying to sell company property and have we considered the net benefits to our tax liability and now we have to have all these other meetings with AWS to confirm we're not...I don't know, laundering money maybe?

This is what we get for trying to save the company money instead of spending it.

That's also why big companies wheel a dumpster up to the data center and/or pay someone to come in and "recycle" a room full of enterprise hardware that's fully depreciated but still worth 7 figures. Because a financial analyst making 60k/year would have to spend a few hours every quarter putting more numbers in a spreadsheet.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2021 02:18

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My company operates on a pretty predictable cycle of fuckwad-ity:

We need to replace this old platform.
That'll take a lot of work. We can't get funding. No new hires!
Maintaining the old systems is a lot of work. What can we do?
We'll hire more engineers!
Oh, like, experienced ones?
Hahahahahahahahahaha no

Even when leadership decides "we're gonna do the new thing" it still circles back to "but you have to self-fund it."

Billions in revenue, still digging change out of the loving couch cushions.

# ¿ May 7, 2021 03:22

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Spring Heeled Jack posted:

I saw a tip once to take the job listing and throw it into a word cloud generator. Take the most common words and work them into your resume.

Holy poo poo. I just did this and I've already added 3 lines of achievements to my current job and refined some stuff from past jobs, all by reading a word cloud and going "Oh poo poo, I've done that!"

One thing I've started doing is call out a Key Achievements section before Work Experience, with three essay-style bullet points that highlight the big traits that I'm bringing to the table and a project or example of each. I want them to be thinking "gently caress yeah, this is who we're looking for" before they even get to the job history.

At what point do you just drop a job from your resume entirely? Surely nobody cares that I worked a night shift job at a NOC ten years ago where I walked around every hour and went "yep, no red lights, cool". But part of me is also worried that some HR idiot will pitch any resume that doesn't have "at least 10 years of computer".

# ¿ May 11, 2021 03:45

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Wizard of the Deep posted:

"Sure, Candidate X knows Grompun, PeroxIDE, and whatever Electric Crab is, but Candidate Y cut 15% from the last place's cloud budget! And they have experience with Petronium!"

Biowarfare posted:

https://www.axios.com/tiktok-job-hiring-tiktok-576f3b99-602c-46ac-afed-218ddf61a9ba.html

"tiktok video resume"

�Candidate X sang their entire work experience in the form of a sea shanty. Candidate Y used the nose painting effect to whiteboard a complete fizz buzz implementation in Grompun, but told us to like for part 2.�

�Ugh. Candidate X it is.�

# ¿ May 11, 2021 19:37

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When I got my first big boy job out of college, we had Avaya VOIP phones. Having a fancy desk phone made me feel like I had "made it". After moving to Skype and then Teams Voice, I hope to god I never have a physical desk phone ever again.

Unrelated - back then, the word on the street was that our administrative staff were tasked with calling people's lines at random to see if everyone was keeping their voicemails updated. The expectation was that you would state the current week and what days you would be in the office. Was this a normal thing anywhere else or was it just my toxic corporate hellscape?

# ¿ May 13, 2021 01:43

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George H.W. oval office posted:

It all makes sense now

"full of opportunity" :allears:

# ¿ May 13, 2021 02:07

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At the risk of dragging the Home Networking chat in here, I'll say that watching Ubiquiti make a number of short-lived and ill-fated forays into product categories outside of networking has made me really hesitant to invest in any of their products anymore - even their standard WiFi stuff.

But PtP has been part of their core portfolio for a while, so they likely are your best bet if you want something that you can set up and ignore for 10 years because it Just Works*.

_{*don't update the firmware}

# ¿ May 14, 2021 02:01

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I�m finally getting recruiter traffic to my LinkedIn again after a few big updates. Got a lead on a DevOps position that I check a majority of the boxes for, and I�d get to work with Kubernetes, which is right up my alley.

I�m missing a few of the �required� and �nice to have� things they listed, so my goal for this week is to learn enough to be able to speak intelligently about it and market myself as a fast learner.

# ¿ May 15, 2021 18:27

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jaegerx posted:

I need to confess this after 10 years of this thread. I write my sql in lowercase.

i too have a broken shift key, but that's nothing to be ashamed of-

jaegerx posted:

I�ve also recently installed gentoo.

oh dear

# ¿ May 16, 2021 02:52

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GreenNight posted:

They'll have a difficult time finding someone who knows all that info and pay them what they expect.

They'll churn through a stack of qualified applicants, wasting everybody's time in the process. They'll continue for weeks until they find someone who excels at rote memorization, hiring them on the spot. If everything works out, they'll attribute their success to computer trivia. If things go south, they'll decide that they need to ask harder questions next time.

Six months later, a sign on the server room door reads "NO ONE WANTS TO WORK ANYMORE"

# ¿ May 21, 2021 16:00

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Requesting some :yotj:

advice.

I'm going through a recruiter for a direct hire position. We had some initial communications to talk about the position, I provided my resume to have it submitted, and then got ghosted for a week. I've been contacted by another recruiter for a very similar, almost identical position at the same company. I have no idea if I was even submitted by the first recruiter.

Assuming it is the same position, do I let the second recruiter run with it as well? How does it reflect on me if they see my resume coming from multiple recruiters?

# ¿ May 24, 2021 16:44

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Silly Burrito posted:

In my experience, the higher you go, the more useless meetings you have to attend. Especially the ones that could have just been an email.

Moving into a management/"technical leader" capacity was the biggest mistake of my career. I hate it. I'll take a pay cut just to get out.

Other people are capable of ruining your perfectly productive day, and because other people are idiots, they often do. Introvert? Ambivert, but have days where you just want to put your head down and do some work? Hah. Buckle up fucko, you're a PROFESSIONAL TALKER now.

# ¿ May 26, 2021 03:17

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I love these hypothetical job situations in which you have the ability to make API calls to a public cloud provider to deploy workloads, but Oops! You can't load the docs site, Google's in their usual 8am-5pm daily downtime, and the CEO is going to personally fire you if you don't update the WAF in the next 5 minutes to block the skid bot that keeps emailing him lemonparty.jpg through the Contact Us form.

# ¿ May 29, 2021 04:22

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One more!

Interviewed for two different openings at the same place. Received two offers, so I got to take my pick. It's an all-AWS shop, heavy on Terraform, Kubernetes, etc. Salary was in-line with my expectations and comes with a benefits package that puts my previous workplace to shame. Cheaper insurance with better coverage, and a 2-for-1 match retirement plan to boot.

Queadlunn posted:

A merry YOTJ to us all!

# ¿ Jun 5, 2021 03:04

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You should always assume that your company is just one software purchase away from making your position redundant. Give them a moving target.

Thanks Ants posted:

one day that job will get automated away from you or the gig-economy VC crowd will come for it.

What if Uber, but helpdesk?

# ¿ Jun 7, 2021 19:22

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Is the narrative of your competitors being reckless cowboys something that $Boss is pushing? Because from the sound of it, their definition of reckless includes implementing X while mitigating with Y and Z. Maybe that's exactly what the competitor is doing and why they are winning.

I've heard lots of cautionary tales and anecdotes over the years about how incompetent our competitor was despite their continued success and growing market share. Now all I can think is, if that's how bad they are and they're still winning, what does that say about us?

# ¿ Jun 21, 2021 13:58

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Calling it now, next week's Newegg Shuffle bundle is a TPM and a 550W Gigabyte power supply.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2021 20:31

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bull3964 posted:

That said, if we are going to embrace the WFH life we have to understand that talent in California and talent in bumfuck Wyoming are going to be competing with each other and one is going to be willing to accept a lower wage due to cost of living. It's going to be interesting to see how this shakes out long term. There are going to be a lot of people that get a real chance at having a better life without having to upend everything and relocate and they also could bring significant sources of outside money to communities that need it. However, it does have the potential to stagnate or depress the wages across the whole market for businesses that don't value people sitting in a particular city if supply in cheaper areas holds up.

But could it also have the effect of lowering cost of living in traditionally higher-cost areas? There's the downward pressure on wages due to an abundance of remote talent, sure - but I always assumed that part of the reason those higher-cost areas were more expensive was because of the higher demand to live there precisely because of the job opportunities and earning potential.

It will eventually reach an equilibrium, it's just a question of which group of workers gets hosed over in the beginning.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2021 04:04

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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/1/12/22879777/microsoft-teams-walkie-talkie-launch-ios-app

This is moderately useful in healthcare where every nurse has a Zebra tied into the PBX, but I just know some middle manager in a cubicle farm is reading this article fist-pumping and shouting "gently caress yes!!!"

I will also bet actual dollars that the product team did not consider basic questions like "what happens when the internet goes down". I say this because my former employer sells a PBX solution to healthcare, and when they tried to migrate from on-prem to cloud, they did not consider basic questions like "what happens when the internet goes down".

# ¿ Jan 13, 2022 16:27

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Cyks posted:

Those of y�all who work in a smaller (50-100 employee business) how much do you pay for managed print services?

I went from a large enterprise with 1000s of printers where our cpp was less than a penny for b/w and my new job we are paying around $3000/mo for roughly 4000 print jobs over a dozen printers. A grand of that is for leasing 4 mfps but it still seems like a pretty high cost per page.

At that low of volume it's never going to look like a good deal on paper. You should also consider that printers are loving terrible - they're expensive, they break down in all sorts of fun ways, and parts and repairs are not cheap or easy. A managed print provider gets to handle most of that themselves, so for a small business with <100 employees that probably can't justify a dedicated printer person, it still comes in cheaper.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2022 20:28

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Bonzo posted:

I am crying watching this. Laughter and the fact that this is how working in enterprise software really is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHW58D-_O64

Every tech presentation is either that or this:

https://twitter.com/_alanbsmith/status/1542557142137245697

# ¿ Jul 17, 2022 16:50

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tokin opposition posted:

I'm getting paid to copy and paste information into an excel spreadsheet

Why did I get a cert again? 7 year old me could do this

Don't forget to save said spreadsheet to a file share that nobody ever looks at. Or attach it to an email that will inevitably be filtered to the trash. Both are valid options.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Or document the automation, take it to your manager, and leverage that into something that pays more.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2022 01:07

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The Fool posted:

Missouri side.

goondolences

The Fool posted:

lunch at some bbq place.

goongratulations

If you pull up to a place and think "really? this is it?" you're at the right place.

If a waiter seats you and hands you a menu... go find one of the places above.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2022 19:16

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Amazon recruiters are wising up to the fact that nobody wants to subject themselves to working for Amazon. The latest recruiting email I got made no direct reference to Amazon but only vague references to a position with retail/Prime. They still had to link to the amazon.jobs website, so that was an immediate no.

I'm sure before too long their template will just be "an exciting opportunity with a client under strict NDA".

Hughmoris posted:

Am I on call? No? Do whatevs, then.

Side note: My $newJob has zero call/ticket responsibility. Going forward, I'm not sure I can go back to a job that requires an on-call rotation. It is so nice not having to stress about poo poo in off-hours.

My work-life balance and general quality of life improved monumentally when I quit my on-call job for one without. "Comp time" doesn't compensate for missing family activities and having to carry a laptop and your work brain with you everywhere you go.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2022 17:37

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tokin opposition posted:

it would be nice if my boss could explain what she wants for "professional development" goals at a helpdesk job with zero room for promotion.

Could just be my raging cynicism, but I've found that a boss wanting to see "professional development" without specific context or guidance tends to mean "do more of my job for me".

Definitely get those certs on the company dime, and then split if they still won't give you a clear path for promotion.

Sickening posted:

How can the job be mostly on call but not want to pay the pennis per month on pager duty? Again, it seems they don't want on call.

Are people generally okay with stuff like Pagerduty going to personal phones? My boss recently asked for my thoughts on this since we're getting ready to set up an on-call rotation. Being hybrid-remote these days makes it challenging to pass a phone around.

Cenodoxus fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Sep 12, 2022

# ¿ Sep 12, 2022 19:15

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tokin opposition posted:

note to self: never be good at things, only unfirably mediocre

I occupy the hellish middle ground in the venn diagram of "social anxiety" and "good at presenting things", so if there's one warning I could give to my past self, it's absolutely this.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2022 21:00

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Nuclearmonkee posted:

Pack it in everybody. We're going back to bespoke manually deployed code on whitebox servers sitting in a dusty closet.

Alright, which one of these computers tucked in the corner will be Prod?

CLAM DOWN posted:

Thanks Ants posted:

Run everything on a mainframe

Well, actually... https://www.ibm.com/docs/en/zos/2.4.0?topic=extensions-what-is-zos-container

# ¿ Jul 22, 2023 00:57

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Hughmoris posted:

For those who use Ansible at their jobs, can you give me some examples of how it's being used? Sometimes the marketing talk and blogger dazzle doesn't match up to the reality of how a product is used.

We use Ansible playbooks to automate setting up development environments in WSL on developer laptops.

It's great because, instead of relying on some kludgy shell scripts that one person wrote years ago and nobody knows how to update, now we've got some kludgy playbooks that one person wrote years ago and nobody knows how to update, but it sounds better on a resume.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2023 17:35

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tbh Ansible's a lot less bad than I made it sound. The agentless model is fantastic. Chef Client can burn in hell for all eternity.

My biggest frustration to date has been trying to manage a ton of host and group variables in a clean manner with an easily-defined hierarchy for overrides. With Ansible, everything's just a big block of YAML and there are no less than 500 ways to do X. Host/group variable management is the one single thing I actually miss about Chef.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2023 20:18

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Sepist posted:

its the loving vpn > it's the loving palo altos > it's the loving SGs > it the loving network > it's the loving gitlab runner > it's the loving vpn again >>>>>>>> oh nevermind it's my code lol

Gov IT version has �its loving booz allen� floating around in there somewhere

# ¿ Aug 10, 2023 03:38

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 11:33

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Vargatron posted:

Somebody wants an engineering grade laptop but wants it to weigh less than 4 pounds. Like, it's not possible to go lighter without making a concession. I've tried explaining this to them repeatedly.

Give them one without the battery, then when they ask why it won't turn on, tell them they also need the optional "portable power pack" add-on if they don't want to be tethered to a wall.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2023 16:33

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