[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Please include the Crack-Pingl picture in the OP, thanks!

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 19:33

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:29

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

mrbotus posted:

Why did that evil cartoon nurse lady think she was going to get "unemployment? "

lol she's a phlebotomist not a nurse

# ¿ Aug 31, 2021 01:30

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

My idiot friend finally got off the ventilator (alive) after 13 days in the ICU! Of course he was unvaxxed, but he was just featured on a local news segment and he told everyone that covid sucked and to get vaxxed, while looking like absolute poo poo from his hospital bed, so maybe that will convince one or two people :gbsmith:

# ¿ Sep 5, 2021 18:09

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Caseman posted:

Jesus how old is he? That's wild

Thanks guys, I've been following along via his wife's updates on FB, and he definitely beat the odds. He's 41 or 42 and was in super good shape before this. He's not the type of person to be a proud anti-vaxxer at all, I honestly think that covid hadn't made much of an impact on him or his family before all of this, so he didn't prioritize getting vaccinated and wasn't really concerned about it at all. I think there's a lot of people out there like this; they're not malicious, but they won't take it seriously until it becomes personal.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2021 18:37

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

I quit nursing when a provider got so mad that he had to sign his orders on the computer that he threw a keyboard at me (I just happened to be in the area), and hospital administration did nothing because "he's an important surgeon!" :qq:

Now I'm a healthcare computer toucher and I make a poo poo ton more money than I ever did as a nurse and I never get assaulted anymore!

# ¿ Sep 5, 2021 19:31

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Biowarfare posted:

i am kind of curious, the general public always mentions the 'supernero nurses and doctors' but what the gently caress happens to all the hospital support staff? do the cleaners, janitors, etc get offered the same amount of high quality ppe, pathogen training and ensuring they know about pathogens? do they get therapy to deal with turning over a bed because the person in it has died, again, every single day? or is it all just min wage contracted work? how is that compatible with spread given lower income means higher likelihood of being in a multigeneration home with multiple members that are old or can't be vaccinated?

for some reason i never read anything about this

Environmental services staff at most hospitals I've worked at don't speak good English, are terrified of losing their jobs, and are thus susceptible to being extremely hosed over at every turn by administration.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2021 19:34

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Strep Vote posted:

All right, this winter I will do my Chinese every day, and I will see how low I can get my body fat percentage. And I will declutter and populate the house with plants. And work on getting that greywater system installed. And find some new recipes. And hope my kid doesn't bring covid home from school.

Anyone seen Osprey lately?

Hell yeah, learning Chinese buddy, Ni hao! :hfive:

# ¿ Sep 7, 2021 03:11

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

SKULL.GIF posted:

hold up

tuyop is white? have I confused you with another militantly black poster?

*opens Goons.xls* uhhhh excuse me, but I believe tuyop is a former military poster, not militant poster

# ¿ Sep 12, 2021 04:35

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

actionjackson posted:

okay here's what I'm concerned about

if I do this, and then later my work offers boosters, will they know that I already did a booster elsewhere? Because if I was actually immunocompromised I could just do it through my work.

Why would your work even care? You can just tell them you already got your 3rd shot elsewhere and they'll be like 'cool' and click to remove the health maintenance topic for it

# ¿ Sep 13, 2021 16:54

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

actionjackson posted:

because it would imply I lied about my health background

You don't have to tell them why! Just say I thought that everyone was supposed to get boosters

# ¿ Sep 13, 2021 16:57

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

gently caress Man posted:

i know a grown rear end married couple without kids who have been to disney world twice during the course of the past 19 months

Disgusting freaks

# ¿ Sep 13, 2021 21:57

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Teabag Dome Scandal posted:

my dentist has me swish something in my mouth as a covid precaution before I sit down but I'm not sure if it is this

it would have been hydrogen peroxide

# ¿ Sep 14, 2021 00:15

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Nodelphi posted:

Cases in on rise in the ED, if this acts like previous waves it will really kick off in two weeks. Just in time for the Holidays.

Of course the next round of staffing cuts hits in January�

We're currently over census and admin is constantly threatening everyone about every little discharge delay

Meanwhile my dept is still planning to hold our mandatory end of the year meeting in person next week, but instead of at the gross hospital it will be at a local restaurant and we each get 1 free alcoholic drink, isn't that amazing everyone :downs:

# ¿ Dec 4, 2021 04:14

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Salt Fish posted:

Very van halenishly:

/love in a respirator/

this makes me so angry!!

# ¿ Dec 4, 2021 18:14

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Stoop Kid posted:

they will be taught in Mandarin

# ¿ Dec 5, 2021 18:23

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Greg Legg posted:

Forgive me if this is off topic but it's something that's been bothering me and I guess I'm looking for advice. My brother is not vaccinated and neither is one of my friends back where I'm from. My friend was a shut in even before the pandemic so I'm not really concerned but my brother has 3 kids, 2 of which are in school.

When I try to nudge them gently towards considering maybe getting vaccinated they like to point out that the messaging from the mainstream media and the democrats has been hypocritical about the vaccines. The alt media they consume right and left promote this message.

The thing is they aren't really wrong, the mainstream media lies all the time. And I personally am open about my initial concerns about getting vaccinated even though I'm boosted. It's almost as though they view measures to contain the virus ike vaccine mandates and quarantine as worse than the virus itself. They point to the poo poo job the US has done at both as evidence. They're correct of course but I've tried pointing to places that have done it properly and got nowhere with that one (they said those governments are lying).

It's a culture war issue isn't it? I stopped engaging because the very act of me disagreeing was reinforcing to them. It's like they cannot apply the same critical approach they have of "mainstream" media to the "alternative" media they consume. And this makes me feel like I'm the one missing the point.

This is all correct, and you arguing with them won't do anything.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2021 20:31

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

I got my PCR yesterday, I will be so mad if I somehow have omi-chan and didn't get to enjoy any of the suck and gently caress ahead of time

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 19:02

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Me: Hey, I am sick. I got swabbed yesterday, but I won't know if I have covid or this is just a cold or something until I get the results back in couple of days.
My Idiot Manager Who Works in Healthcare and Should Already Understand This Stuff But Doesn't: Ok, cool. Are you coming in tomorrow for the team meeting? You have some slides to present.
Me: .. Uh.. I just said that I may have corona virus and if I don't, I am still actively sick. So no, I will not be coming in, in person.
My Idiot Manager: Ok, thanks.

~Fin~

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 19:09

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Lawlicaust posted:

At work, on a team of ~40, I and one of my associates are the only people who have not tested positive or gotten very sick and refused to test.

Socially, maybe 5 out of 30 people I used to regularly hang out with have not tested positive.

In my family, my parents and one of my brothers has not caught it. Most of my dad�s side of the family who live in bumfuck nowhere (who we don�t talk with because chuds + horrible) died from it or became disabled.

When I was a kid, we used to do family reunions with my mom�s side of the family. My great grandmother was one of 7 children and there were lots of cousins we saw regularly. Many of them are dead now. A lot of them lived in Little Rock and it spread around several of the families. In one cousins family it got the grandfather (80ish), the dad/mom (50s) and the kids (30s). I hadn�t seen any of these people in decades but when I was talking with my grandmother the other day, she casually mentioned them all dying last year/this year.

It�s loving everywhere and everyone is getting it. Omicron is going to be worse.

This poo poo is crazy to me, because it's not my experience with my chud family. My family has all gotten vaxxed and boosted, except for my idiot younger brother, with my grandmother going so far as to not let my brother come visit her in her retirement community until he gets vaxxed. They still consume Fox news and call it the China-virus and all that, but every time we've discussed vaccines they've been supportive and always end up talking about it's just like when they got the polio vaccine. I had a realization that they are making this comparison because I had a great-uncle who caught polio as a child and was severely disabled his entire life, and that obviously had a massive impact on everyone in the family. They were grateful to get their sugar cubes in the 50s or whatever, and are grateful to get their covid shots in the present day. Biden is still a communist, though.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2021 17:09

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Coldrice posted:

Does anyone know any groups / non profits that are doing outreach or education for Covid?

California DHCS is running a program called CalHope that has resources and does outreach, funded by Medi-Cal and a FEMA grant.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2021 04:12

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

no lube so what posted:

will The Professor finally gets his chance?!

YES he came back from his knee injury, he has what it takes!!

# ¿ Dec 20, 2021 05:35

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

I want to see the Professor clown on the Nets in a spiderman costume

# ¿ Dec 20, 2021 05:36

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

I had to walk through the ED this morning to get to a very important meeting that simply had to be held in person (and got canceled 5 mins before starting because the PM was sick) and there are so many patients there right now

So many in overflow

So many in the waiting room

Happy new years!!!

# ¿ Jan 3, 2022 20:25

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

pancake rabbit posted:

coughing in memphis

# ¿ Jan 4, 2022 05:17

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Rah! posted:

*doctor sticks an IV in ur arm, mild nacho cheese comes out*

IDIOT the doctor sticks the IV to give you extra nacho cheese from a bag

a nacho cheese draw is when the cheese comes out

smh

# ¿ Jan 4, 2022 05:28

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Rah! posted:

shut the gently caress up. like u know anything about nacho cheese blood

Bitch I am a nacho cheese blood expert. I like to immediately slurp it from the vacuum tube while maintaining eye contact with the crying patient. Put it in the centrifuge and separate out all the little jalapeno bits and eat those too.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2022 05:48

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Shear Modulus posted:

they were doing the x-rays as a screening in china in the first outbreak, maybe before they had working PCR and antigen tests

in the US it absolutely is. an xray will run you a few hundred dollars and i think you can get still get a PCR test for free if you wait in line for 5 hours or so

It took a while to ramp up compatible reaction mixes for the RT-PCR tests and you also needed to have thermal cyclers. In contrast, x-ray was way more available since you just push button.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2022 06:38

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Ben Nerevarine posted:

thanks to the US healthcare system we�re selecting for the luckiest among us

it�s looking more and more like Ringworld was a documentary

I'm ok with turning into a Pak Protector tbqh

# ¿ Jan 5, 2022 00:17

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Animal-Mother posted:

If I was a bus driver and a school asked me to teach a class, I'd demand a fat stack of cash right then and there. It's insane that anybody is complying with this bullshit. Fight back, you dummies!

I posted this in the Healthcare thread, but a bunch of us that no longer work bedside just got asked to volunteer for shifts at the hospital. For free, of course, and we'd still have to do our day jobs.

I googled the size of our endowment, joker laughed for a bit, and didn't respond.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2022 17:41

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

she's normal height, everyone! stop asking!

# ¿ Jan 11, 2022 00:59

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

UFOTacoMan posted:

lmao what in the world Matt?

https://twitter.com/mtaibbi/status/1481794823715700738

Sometimes peoples brains just seem to loving break. I'm scared it's going to happen to me, but then again I may be a lot happier on the other side so who knows.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 17:31

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

WarEternal posted:

that's an infusion, not an injection, COMPLETLEY different.

Remdesivir can be injected or infused!

# ¿ Jan 16, 2022 23:07

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Steve Yun posted:

What does beta amyloid in the brain mean

I have beta amylase in my fridge. If I trepan my skull and drop some in my brain will it fix the beta amyloid

It's plaque, baby! Plaque in the brain causes dementia symptoms.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2022 02:10

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

We've hit our peak of covid admissions, but it seems to be a sustained peak. Almost like a plateau..? :thunk:

Also another email begging people to volunteer went out again, every single department needs help lol

# ¿ Jan 25, 2022 22:49

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Another team meeting ended today with my supervisor proudly stating (again) that since he has O- blood, he is probably immune to covid. Which is definitely a bioweapon released by China, in conjunction with American pharmaceutical companies, so they can make a profit and this is a 'test'.

He's also giving me a big raise so sure, whatever, it's a Chinese bioweapon, sounds good.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2022 05:22

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:29

nikosoft: Dec 17, 2011; ghost in the shell, but somehow much worse; College Slice

Lmao that Applebee's Cheers ad

# ¿ Feb 6, 2022 05:29

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911: