Pharnakes posted:

The closest lesbian equivalent I can think of was a goon(both goons?) who cut the remains of her girlfriends hymen away with a pair of plastic kid's scissors, if I remember correctly.

Travis343 posted:

Well uh, I uh, I read *farts* I read uh, in a study, that uh, doesn't exist, which is why I didn't link it and why you can't read it, uh *farts more, poops self a little* I read it, on the Internet, that uh, that *now making one continuous fart noise while pooping, seemingly endlessly* really, uh, women hitting men, is uh, just as bad *poop has reached knee height, sits down in poop* It's just as bad, if not worse, than men hitting women *lays down, continues pooping* and uh, really, who is to say which, uh, which party is at fault there *attendants with trowels come out and shape poop into Egyptian sarcophagus* and uh, I read this, so I'm pretty sure it's true? *is walled into a poop tomb with keyboard holes to allow continued posting on the Something Awful Forums*

mannerup posted:

https://twitter.com/wpjenna/status/758393920820768768

shiksa posted:

i've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see winning no more, they want jailing, i'm chopped liver

crazy cloud posted:

But if ya want Donald, this is what I'll give ya. A little bit o' greed mixed with some boot lickers. Trump vodka that'll kickstart my heart quicker than a shot when I get shocked at Mar a Lago by Ivanka for not cooperating, playing grabass on the stage while she conversating, HEY

Sestze posted:

What, he bursts in from time to time to say "man gently caress all those sick people"?

Jose posted:

i'm going to use less instead of fewer

rear end cobra posted:

Are you going to post fewer?

Howard Beale posted:

Iowa doesn't have that many hills so it's understandable if Jastiger didn't recognize the one he died on

toanoradian posted:

UK has some excellent titles for their government jobs. I know of terms like Shadow Cabinet, Law Lords, Lords Temporal, Shadow Lord Exchequer, and now I can add First Sea Lord to my list.

Jeza posted:

eyes glazed, watching mom on dad's dick for the twelfth time

writes on notepad: interesting

Rumda posted:

Something Awful is the Australia of dead gay forums vast trackless lands devoid of jokes or even the most sensible chuckle, and yet we manage to wheeze through our Cheeto stained neck beards to the vast ships full of good jokes 'gently caress off we're full'.

Hellblazer187 posted:

What the gently caress is skinship?

Barudak posted:

It is a weird translation of an asian term that encompsses all forms of physical intimacy between two individuals, ranging from hand holding to actual loving.

Basically in summary, this dudes wife is the basketball hoop at the all-star game dunk contest and this dude is just finally getting an idea that the NBA might exist

Blade Runner posted:

What this woman uses to float down the River Dyx while her husband stands there with coins over his eyes, confused

Barudak posted:

Dude is so naive hes trying to close the barn door after the horse is gone and doesnt realize he never owned a barn

Blade Runner posted:

It is difficult to get an unbiased opinion on this situation as we cannot find anyone who has not hosed this guy's wife

Bobby Digital posted:

A skin ship is also known as a Gein canoe but that may be a regional expression.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

sorry to spoil the party nocoiners, but btc is not going below 6500 and heres why
i dont care how much FUD is shekelstein telling you to spread here.. heres the truth: at 6500 is not longer profitable to mine

it literally cant drop below that

dont be dumb, stop betting against math and science, swallow your pride and buy the dip

its never too late to jump into the rocket of infinite exponential growth

TraderStav posted:

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Dump it

Inspector Hound posted:

We love this loving place


Hire a computer toucher to fix the code, it sounds like that's a gigantic part of the problem

Cartoon Man posted:

Hardon Crime posted:

but why does he need vagina ears

Boogoose posted:

So he can hear people cumming.

Phy posted:

Can't blame them, we just spent a month establishing all copse are bastards

Splicer posted:

I still don't know what ska is

Jedit posted:

I'll forgive you not knowing first wave Jamaican ska like Desmond Dekker, Prince Buster or the Skatalites, or at least for possibly confusing them with reggae. But you never heard of the Specials? Or Madness?

Splicer posted:

I listened to some ska

Griefor posted:

I wonder if has (in this context). There were definitely some people being unrepentant assholes in the thread (and being called out for it) but a lot of the griefing was overthrowing previous tinpot dictators in-game or just harmless fun to anyone who wasn't super serious about their space station sabotage video game. Or maybe my own memory is hazy, it is a long time ago that I read any of it.

freeedr posted:

When I used to live in the shittiest town in the world (amarillo, tx) some local goon found out I lived there and invited me via pm to join him and his friend for their juggling club they were unsuccessfully trying to get going in the public park. I could hear the wheezing mouth breathing through pms.

Captain Hygiene posted:

food court bailiff posted:

from the Awful Kickstarters thread:

The General posted:

Those might sell well in China, but outside flu panics, nobody really cares about a face mask.

Freakbox posted:

Man, I want one of these. I can breathe healthy AND be the creepy girl at the bus stop that no one wants to talk to. It'd be amazing to make it all the way to work without being spoken to because I look like I'm preparing for the apocalypse or have the plague. Americans are conditioned to avoid people in 'dust masks'- I want to take advantage of that.

Maluco Marinero posted:

Pretty much, seems a pretty western thing to be too vain/proud to wear a mask, so everyone gets the flu instead.

fishmech posted:

Don't want to burst your bubble, but it's not really backed by medical results to wear masks like that to keep you from getting sick or keep others from getting sick from you. Especially for stuff like the flu, where the airborne bits of nastiness that will spread the infection can do quite well at getting through the masks and more importantly around the sides.

Karia posted:

quote:

[sitting cross legged underneath a tree with eyes closed] Abe is a bitch. Abe is a bitch. abe is a bitch. abe is a bitch. ABe is a bitch. Abe isa bitch. abe is a bitch. Abe is a bitch. abe is a bitch. Abeis a bitch. Abe is a bitch. abe is a bitch. abe is a bitch. [I open my eyes to see the cherry blossoms cascading through the air. A slight smile plays upon my lips, barely noticeable.]

Kingo Ligma posted:

It's also made up and can work however anyone wants whenever

Outrail posted:

Was that the real Jeff or a cheap knockoff?

Phy posted:

One type of French-speaking Belgians are called walloons, which is a thing I remember because it's a funny looking word

walloon

walloon