- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Am I [27F] wrong to be mad at my mom [55F] for finding happiness?
quote:My mom was raised in a conservative Christian family, and was always taught that being gay was a sin. While my dad was raised somewhat similarly, his parents never had the outright "gay is bad" mantra that my mom's parents did, so he was sort of indoctrinated by my mom. After I was born, my mom tried to raise me and my sister up how she was, telling us that being gay was a sin, and if we were gay, we'd never get into heaven.
It scared the poo poo out of my sister, but I wasn't so convinced. While I listened to my mom at times, I indulged my "urges", as she would call them. I started making out with close girl friends of mine in freshman year, and it escalated. Overall, I got sloppy, and got caught in my junior year by my mom. She was furious, and we had a verbal throwdown. It was about to get physical, but my dad asked me to pack an overnight bag and stay with a friend while he tried to calm my mom down.
I stayed with that friend for a week, and when I came home, my mom wanted nothing to do with me. She was so upset that she would just walk around the house, and burst into tears at random points. My dad told me that I had deeply betrayed the family's trust, and they wanted me to be "healed." While they never got me in with an actual conversion therapist, I did see a therapist who specialized in "sexuality issues." Meaning, they tried their drat hardest to convince me I was just confused.
While it was less abusive than conversion therapy, I still felt lovely, and my parents didn't seem to care. My mom would sob if I came home still gay, and my dad would go take long smoke breaks on the back porch. Even my sister made me a get well card, but wouldn't touch me because she was afraid of catching "my disease." After a while, I just wanted things to be normal, so I put up posters of boys in my room, and acted as straight as possible.
Then, I went to college, lied through my teeth that I wasn't seeing any girls, and graduated somewhat happily. I had to come home for a while because I was broke as hell, and my mom was ecstatic. While I was home, I cycled through boys from my high school to serve as my fake boyfriends, and my parents never caught on. I was lucky enough to leave after six months, and my mom told me that she was glad that I had changed, and gave me my grandmother's rosary. It was her most prized possession, and even though the sentiment behind it sucked, I cried like a baby.
After my mom gave me the rosary, her marriage with my dad started to get a little rocky. I tried to be supportive, but I knew that they were headed down a bad path. But, my folks got into therapy, and came out stronger than ever, until last year. My mom started going on more "work trips" and was coming back later and later. My dad was calling me at random points in the day, telling me how tired he was of the downhill slide they were on. I told him that I was going to be okay if they got divorced, and he grumbled about how it wasn't that easy, and hung up.
Last week, my mom asked me to come over for the weekend (I live about 50 miles away). She said it was important, and when I came, the house was very somber. My parents tried to make it fun, but I knew the big divorce conversation was coming up. Dinner was silent and weird, until my mom stood up and told everyone that she had a confession to make. I expected her to say that she and my dad were getting a divorce, plain and simple.
Instead, she told us all she was gay. She had known for years, and had actually given me the rosary because it made her feel confused about her spirituality and her sexuality, and she felt she had more room to be herself without it. When she told my dad, they started fighting, and the therapy they sought out was actually the same type I went to as a teenager. After that, my mom had gotten better at hiding her gay, but it didn't work, and her "work trips" were little rendezvous to visit girlfriends she'd met online. My dad had known about the affairs, and they were in the process of becoming legally separated. However, they were worried about the stigma, and kept procrastinating about it.
While my sister was very weepy at first, she's slowly coming to terms with it. My dad supports my mom, telling her that she always had a friend in him. I'm the only one who's actually mad. She ruined my teenage years, all because she was confused about herself. I was so upset that I became physically sick, and drove myself home, even when my mom insisted I spend the night.
Is it wrong to be angry? How can I get over this? I know my mom doesn't deserve my hatred and anger, I know she just wants to be happy and that she was confused, but I feel angry now, and I don't want to be. What can I do? Are my feelings valid?
TL;DR My mom tried to pray my gay away, but is now gay herself and I'm angry. How do I not feel angry?
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Oct 24, 2017 19:11
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 16:11
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Two hours is a lot of travel for an interview you don't think will turn into a job. I've turned down interviews for jobs because they are like, a twenty minute drive from the hour-away train station in connecticut, I don't really blame her. I was not that desperate for a job though so if she is that's a little silly.
Yeah, the problem isn't that she doesn't want to drive for the interview, the problem is that she tries to flake out if the interview, and then is mad she gets turned down for the job.
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Oct 25, 2017 16:11
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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How do I [23 F] tell my dad [46 M] about a massive mistake I have made?
Before you go further, try to guess the mistake.
quote:
Hi, posted in legal advice too
I have made a massive mistake and need help. Sorry this post will be quite long.
For a bit over a year I have been a cam girl on the side of my regular job to help pay student fees. My dad is unaware of this and he is quite conservative, so I never planned on telling him. On the site I use, there is an option for someone watching to purchase a VIP room where it is just the two of us. This is where I need help with the laws regarding VIP room videos. A client messaged me and asked me to undertake a scenario that he liked, and he would pay extra credits for it. The scenario was that I call up my real father and have a casual conversation with him while masturbating, and occasionally moan while on the phone to him, so he would suspect something.
I wasn't very into this at all but I really needed the extra income so I accepted his request. I went into a VIP room with him and fulfilled what he had asked for. My dad suspected nothing because I had the TV on quite loud to drown out the sounds I was making. Throughout the session, he said that the person I was talking to wasn't my real father and he was being tricked. I held my phone up to the screen to show I had the contact name as 'Dad' so that he knew it was true.
I used to have an iPhone 5s and when I called people whose number I had given a contact name, it only displayed their name on the call screen. However, I recently got a new phone and on the call screen displayed my father's phone number right below his contact name. It was incredibly stupid of me and I should've been more careful. I was unaware that I had even shown him my dad's phone number until after the session when he messaged me in private chat with my dad's number.
After the session, my client said like he felt like texting someone. Then he messaged me my dad's phone number and my heart dropped. He said he had recorded the VIP session that I gave him and was going to upload it online and send a text to my father with a link to the video. I was begging him not to because it will destroy my relationship with my dad. During this, the client kept saying he was uploading it as we speak and once it was up, he would send it through. This is when I told him that it would be a very bad idea for him to upload it because the cyber laws in Colombia were very strict in regards to recording a VIP session and posting it online, and that I would bring the law into it if he sent the text to my father.
I have no idea about the legality of this video but I was terrified that he was going to text my father so I said this to try save the situation. The client then said he didn't believe me and was doing this to save myself. But he then said he would look up the laws regarding it, and if what I am saying is false, he is going to go ahead with sending the text.
This happened a day ago and he has not sent anything through yet because I spoke to my dad recently. Today when I went live on the cam site, he joined again and said he would send the video to my dad tomorrow when I was camming so he could see my reaction when my dad finds out.
My dad is my best friend and we have always been close. If he sends this video through to him, I feel like my dad will want nothing to do with me, if he sees me masturbating and moaning while talking to him on the phone. I know he will be so so upset with me for this. What I did was incredibly stupid and a betrayal of my dads trust and I wish I could take it back now but I can't.
I was hoping to try tell the client that what he is doing is illegal but I don't think it is so I think he is going to send the video to my dad. There isn't an easy way to do this, but how do I tell my dad about what I have done and how sorry I am for doing it? And my dad is very against sex work too, so is there a better way to tell him that I have been a cam girl for the past year? I know he will be so angry with him for both of these things. I feel like my relationship with my dad is on the line, so please help if you can 
TL:DR - Cam girl for the past year, and I fulfilled a client's request that involved my dad. Client now has my dad's phone number and is going to send him a text with a video of me being a cam girl. How do I let my dad know in the best way possible, so that our relationship isn't permanently damaged?
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Oct 25, 2017 20:28
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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It took me a while to catch on to what was going on in that post but now I'm completely horrified. If he really does need notice to not be a total weirdo does that basically mean he's involving his kids in his fetish on a regular basis?
On the one hand, that is what the text says. On the other hand, I absolutely do not believe that small children who knew that their dad dressed up like a dog wouldn't be mentioning that to the family members who regularly babysit them. So I think this is probably not true.
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Oct 27, 2017 05:08
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Also, if the genders were reversed and this guy was jerking off in the tent with a woman, would the thread be full of people mocking her for "not realizing" he's into her?
I agree that, "masturbate in the same tent as him," is a lousy way to express interest, but he was into her.
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Oct 29, 2017 05:47
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Hey speaking of not letting things go....
In laws [60s M&F] are upset I'm [29/M] not attending upcoming events for my late-BIL [was 34/M]. Wife [28/F] not supporting me on this.
quote:5 months ago, my BIL passed away from a heart attack. Since his death, my in-laws have been beside themselves, statements like “they never saw this coming” and “he was SO young, it could happen to ANYONE” have been common. The thing is, my BIL was not the paragon of health. Frankly, I’m surprised he made it to 34. First, my BIL lived with his parents and worked as a library assistant. He worked from 11-7, would get two large pizzas on his way home, eat the pizzas, leftovers at home, drink 1 or 2 2L sodas and smoke probably more than a pack of cigarettes (20 regular cigarettes) an evening. He hadn’t eaten a vegetable in more than 20 years – something he was proud of – had diabetes, a bad back (which is why he couldn’t exercise) and would help wind-down every evening with about a gallon of cheap beer. He’d wake-up at 8:45, microwave himself a few breakfast sandwiches/burritos (7 or 8) and would smoke another 10 cigarettes. He’d toddle off to work. He did that M-F, on Sat & Sun, he laid in bed till 2, watched TV, chain smoked cigarettes, ordered either Chinese take-out (meat only) or burgers, would drink beer from 4 until 1 or 2 AM and then pass out. He literally never left his room.
BIL was warned by numerous doctors to get healthier, cut the smokes, stop drinking and to clean up, but he never did. Even when he got diabetes and spent almost a week in hospital, it didn’t phase him. He had begun to walk with a cane – he was only about 5’7 but well north of 350lbs. He didn’t drink water, he didn’t eat a vegetable, he lived in his room and was never, ever healthy. Last year, he suffered a major heart attack and required emergency bypass surgery. He barely made it through the surgery, he was so unhealthy that he nearly passed away many times during surgery/recovery. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital.
He got home and immediately resumed his habits. Just days after he got home, he was in bed, with a bag of cookies on his chest and an ashtray next to his bed. The home care workers tried, his surgeons tried, everyone tried to break him of his habit… Except his parents who didn’t want to upset their son….
Anyway, a couple of months after surgery he died in bed. He had deteriorated rapidly, could barely move, had no energy, was white & gaunt and had trouble breathing. He refused medical attention and finally passed away. It was tragic, and everyone mourned. Since then, my in-laws have had their eyes-opened to the fragility of life and have been booking the ENTIRE family on events. I went along with it for a while, but it’s gotten excessive – we’re expected to be with them every Saturday (even when they just sit around telling stories about someone who never existed…); we’re expected to be there when they need support and they’ve began booking us for every holiday: Thanksgiving & Christmas are being renamed “BIL Remembrance Days”. No celebration but rather informal wakes will be held in his honor.
I get they are sad and upset, but this is beyond crazy. My wife [28/F] has another sister [34/F] and brother [37/M]. They & their partners think this is getting out of hand. They’ve all pulled out of these events, but my wife won’t stand up to her parents. She’s the baby and doesn’t want to disappoint them. The thing is, it’s gone way beyond. My birthday involved my in-laws coming over and making a “speech” (more like a lecture) about how deceased BIL would love this party. It went on for well over an hour, attempts to stop them failed and finally my mother had to physically remove them. They apologized when it became obvious everyone was so uncomfortable that they left.
They need therapy, but they think this is all part of the grieving process. They refuse to talk to someone; they refuse to get help in any way whatsoever leaving my wife to carry the burden and for me to deal with their poo poo. They both informally “retired” but can’t afford it; they didn’t really do their taxes (so I’m dealing with it) and aren’t keeping up with bills, so I’m their financial advisor. I haven’t had a weekend to myself in 5 months and I don’t want to give up holidays with my folks, so my in-laws can make-up stories about their son. I've had to help my FIL apply for jobs; I've had to give my MIL prepaid visa gift cards to prevent her from going wild on spending. I've structured their finances in such a way that they are okay, but what they need is long-term mental help to get them working again.
I know it sounds cold & callous, but I’ve hit my limit. How can I get my wife to take my side and deal with her parents who obviously need therapy and support?
tl;dr: BIL ate & drank himself to death and has sent my in-laws off the deep end. I can't handle their crap, renaming holidays after my BIL and need 1 weekend away from them. Wife won't stand up to them as she's afraid to disappoint them.
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Oct 30, 2017 04:37
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Something something, gently caress you you fuckman.
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Oct 30, 2017 04:40
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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This might be the dumbest thing I've seen someone get mad about.
Me [28 M] with my wife [28F] of 6 months, she is upset because I am taking 4 day trip with my brothers.
quote:
So I've been married 6 months to the girl of my dreams. I am still adjusting to being married, and especially our different philosophies on some things. Something that has caused a lot of tension for us lately is the fact I want to take a 4 day trip with my brothers in March. It is a tradition we have had for 13 years where all my brothers and I go to the 1st and 2nd round of the basketball March Madness tournament. It is really important to all of us, and we look forward to it each year.
She however, is upset that I would want to leave for her 4 days, and thinks it is very strange for a married person to travel without their spouse, even if it is just with siblings. She says that her parents, or any of her married friends would NEVER do that, which I guess is true. I was under the impression it is quite normal, as long as it's not like happening all the time, and this would literally be just a once annual thing. She and I take lots of trips together, and I spend a majority of my little free time (I am a medical student) with her, as I should. I don't have any married friends to ask, but I know my father would occasionally travel without my mother for this trip, and the occasional sports trip with his friends and their sons. Is it really that weird for a married person to take a very infrequent trip without their spouse? I didn't think 4 days out of an entire year would be a big deal, and I have offered to take her on a trip that same month to make it up to her, but no luck. I would love for her to do the same sort of thing with her family or friends, but she wouldn't, because she doesn't want to be away from me, and doesn't think it is appropriate for a married person. It is the kind of thing where she won't ask me not to go, but I know it will upset her, and be an extremely long 4 days for her.
More than anything, I think her concerns are the following: she will be very bored with me gone, and probably scared to be in our apartment alone. Also I think she thinks that by doing this, I am saying that this trip and seeing my brother and father is more important than her, which obviously it isn't, I spend 361 or the 365 days in a year with her. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to keep up this tradition? If we had a newborn or something, obviously that would be different. Thanks!
tl;dr: I take annual 4 day basketball trip with brothers and father, wife thinks it is inappropriate that I would want to take a trip without her, even though this is only once a year.
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Nov 18, 2017 19:05
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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No
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Dec 27, 2017 23:01
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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My first Twitter search for thinspo turns up a woman talking about how she either needs to starve or recover, and how she has to remind herself that 800 calories a day isn't very much.
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Jan 2, 2018 19:12
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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My dad [43/M] told me [20/F] that my mom [40/F] was dead, she reached out and is very much not dead
Jesus Hell.
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Jan 14, 2018 18:43
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Crazy roommate (21M) is making my (21F) life hell, can he legally kick me out if my name is on the lease? + a few other qs (NS, Canada)
quote:
Got back in touch with an old ex from high school a while ago and we started talking. I was in a really bad living situation at the time and I wanted out and he was still living with his parents so we decided to rent a place (2 bedroom/2 bath) together. I was gonna pay $500 of the rent and he'd cover the rest in exchange for getting the bigger bedroom with the ensuite. He lived far away at the time so I was the one who met the landlord and signed the lease and stuff and he just gave me the money for it, his name isn't on the lease at all. Anyway he came into some money, bought me a new laptop for school, and suddenly he offered to pay all the rent and I agreed, and he even wanted to pay 6 months rent up front (he thought we could get a discount offering this, and we did, actually). He'd interaced the deposit a few weeks earlier and I'd met with the landlord and signed the lease then so that's why my name is on it. It's a 12 month lease if that matters. In late September he gets a bank draft for almost $10k and gives it to the landlord and starts staying in the apartment. Then in October we both move in.
This is where everything starts to go so wrong. I was working and in school at the time but I was struggling with both and the new place was a long drive from work so I quit. But halfway through October I started wondering if the courses I was taking were even useful and after discussing it with my roommate we agreed that I'd be better off working and getting experience and going back to school in the future since I couldn't be a cop any time in the next 5 years anyway since I did illegal substances. So I dropped out and I wasn't working but we paid 6 months rent up front and my roommate was the one who buys groceries and stuff. Unfortunately I have bills, internet, car, insurance, phone, and didn't have any way of paying so I had to ask my roommate to help and he did. It sounds helpful but this did much more harm than good. I struggle with depression and anxiety and the only thing that has ever motivated me to work and leave the house has been when I need money urgently and with him just giving me money it became very hard to start applying for jobs so I spent most of the day just laying in bed and not feeling like doing anything.
In November I started dating one of my roommate's online friends he introduced me to through World of Warcraft. he lived in California. I really wanted to go see him but I had no way of paying for the plane ticket so I asked my roommate for help and he kept refusing, saying it was too expensive, too short notice, etc stupid excuses. My boyfriend was moving back in with his parents soon so I needed the ticket that weekend. I was so desperate and drunk I told my roommate I'd sleep with him and take his virginity if he bought the ticket but he refused. I told him I'd get a job and pay him back and he finally accepted if I paid him back AND slept with him so he bought the ticket and sent me the info. When I sobered up in the morning I realized what I agreed to and I told him I was never going to gently caress him and that I was just drunk. He was upset and said I needed to pay back double the cost of the ticket (like $2000 or something) or he was going to cancel it so I agreed to once I had the money. I believe this is soliciting prostitution or extortion and I have text messages from this time, could I bring them to the police?
He didn't cancel the ticket and I went to visit my long distance boyfriend but my roommate started acting really really lovely after this. Just ignoring me, spending all his time in his room, when I brought company over he didn't even say hi. He started drinking which was alarming and around the end of November he got extremely drunk kept messaging me about how much he loved me and poo poo and I got scared and called the cops. I wanted them to take him to the hospital but they said he wasn't in any danger. When I told them I felt threatened they said they couldn't do anything since he technically lived here too and since we were exes I think they were taking me much less seriously or maybe it was my record, but they did nothing, they just left him here and told me I should move out. I don't have a loving lock on my bedroom door and I went to sleep that night terrified he was going to break in and do something. In the end nothing happened but I've never felt less safe in my own home. In the morning I ran into him when I getting some water and we got into a fight and I told him how much I hated him and living here and he told me I could leave whenever. Then he went back to his room and started ignoring me again.
Around this time I wanted to visit my boyfriend again so I had to ask my roommate for money again. He just texted me asking how much and when I told him he sent the money then went back to ignoring me. I went for a week this time and he didn't message me at all. When I got back I almost expected to find him having committed suicide, but he was ok. All of December was a good month and I never had to interact with him at all except when he made supper or when we needed to go get groceries. I started applying for jobs and stuff and I was looking into how hard it was to immigrate to the USA on a fiancee visa. I was finally moving forward in life. I asked for money again so I could visit my boyfriend for Christmas and he gave it to me without complaint and I visited for 10 days, but on the last day I was there my boyfriend broke up with me and I was absolutely devastated, I had lost all of my goals and now I had nothing to work for again. I was getting drunk every night.
I decided to go on a trip to get over it and drove to Toronto with my roommate. We stayed for a few days and had a good time mostly but he got really annoyed when I asked for separate hotel rooms. I just didn't feel comfortable staying in the same room with him. He agreed eventually and the rest of the trip was fine. The drive back was very awkward and we had a couple of arguments and I finally got it across to him that I am never going to date him no matter what and the rest of the way he just ignored me. Now when we got back he was even more withdrawn than usual and started talking about how he was going to move out and stop giving me money and that these past few months were such a huge, miserable waste of time. This entire time he hasn't been working or in school and he hasn't been doing anything with his life. I wonder why it was such a huge waste of time lmao. I got pissed about this and told him that and he just went back to ignoring me again.
Now none of the jobs I've applied for have called back, I'm so broke I have no money in any of my accounts, I won't be able to pay any of my bills this month. Rent is paid for until March which is the only good thing about all this, but I need to know if he can kick me out or not? Like I said my name is on the lease, it's a 12 month contract, his name doesn't show up anywhere but verbally of course I agreed to let him stay and he paid all the money. Also if he moves out instead, is it possible for him to be on the hook for the other 6 months of the 12 month contract (since only 6 months have been paid for so far)? He verbally agreed to live here and pay the rent and it will be a breach of terms if he just bails won't it? And is it worth talking to the cops about the prostitution/extortion thing? Everything is such a mess right now and I really need help, thanks for reading
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Jan 15, 2018 22:08
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Stop talking about cooking you assholes.
My [26 M] girlfriend [25 F] is accusing me of things I didn't do
quote:
My girlfriend of 8 months has a habit of lashing out during conflicts and saying things she doesn't mean.
Most recently she called me a "worthless piece of poo poo" and that was too far for me so I said we needed to take a break.
She asked me why, and I tried to sit her down and calmly explain that when she's angry, she says some pretty hurtful things. I gave a few past examples too. She replied "Well I've been thinking about the time you grabbed me inappropriately without my consent."
I was speechless. I have never disrespected her in my life, and certainly never sexually. I asked for details of this incident and she burst into tears saying she was "so scared" and felt "so violated".
I was horrified so I told her I needed to take some time to think about things. This morning she wrote me an email that said:
I'm not happy with the way we lift things off. I'd like us to stop the break and go back to normal.
About when you grabbed me, don't worry about it. I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to harm me, although an outsider might not see it that way.
I may have moments of insensitivity that do not match up with who I aim to be. I think that happens to all of us.
This letter gave me a very sick feeling. I feel like she is forgiving me for something I didn't even do. And then minimizing her own behavior.
What should I do now? My gut wants to break up with her but I'm literally afraid of what she might do. Should I talk with her in person?
tldr: Girlfriend says hurtful things when she's mad. I tried to point this out and she accused me of grabbing her inappropriately. She reiterated this in a letter to me. Should I talk with her in person or break things off now?
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Jan 15, 2018 22:56
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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I dunno if I'd wanna drag my SO on a date they clearly didn't want to go to tho, like maybe if they have different tastes in movies they could have done something other than that.
You keep aggressively missing the point here, so I'm gonna use small words. She is not mad about the movie. She is mad because he is not putting work into their relationship.
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Jan 15, 2018 23:57
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place!
quote:
The story I got told at 14 was that my dad wasn't my biological father, he was the man who married my mom after I was already born, and basically my mom and dad thought at the time I deserved to know this because a few people in our environment kept saying how I didn't look like him and I was asking them if I was maybe adopted or something. Yeah, I know.
Very little was spoken of the man my mom got pregnant with, but the basic gist of it was that he didn't care about mom being pregnant, didn't want a child in the first place and then she didn't want anything to do with him any further, so she cut all contact (no child support because my mom's family is well-off).
I won't bullshit you and say I wasn't hurt, but I got over it quickly enough with the help of my mom and dad. Sadly, mom and dad got a divorce last year, just felt like they didn't love each other that way anymore, I guess. They're still good friends with each other though, no drama, for which I'm grateful. Still, this sort of prompted me into thinking about my biological father lately and I ended looking him up online. Dunno what I expected to see really, but he's just... normal, I guess? I might have been thinking he'd have this kind of rear end in a top hat look to him because of how he rejected me before I was even born.
Anyway, one night after drinking more than I should with some friends on a night out, I did a stupid thing and sent him a message, basically accusing him how he's horrible, evil and other less polite words, because of how he abandoned me.
Next morning, after I actually remembered what I did, I see his reply to me. It's polite, but confused and he has no idea who I am or how I'm supposed to be related to him (I had my dad's last name), saying in the end that I probably got the wrong person, and wishing me the best. I don't know, it just pissed me off, even though I was sober (and a bit hungover), so I fired up several paragraphs to him about who exactly I am, who my mom is and what he did to us. His reply came in the evening and it was quite extensive, but I'll sum it up for you: they broke up with each other, on bad terms, after they were together for a little over a year, she never mentioned any pregnancy to him and when he tried to contact her later afterwards, because he felt like poo poo how it ended, she rebuffed him and blocked him and that was the last time he tried getting in touch with her.
Needless to say, me being pissed off at him was gone in a flash, and now my father was the one angry at my mom for doing this. I was wondering how to talk to my mom about what I found out, but I didn't have to bother, because my father contacted her first and confronted her about her hiding me from him.
We're getting to know each other slowly, mostly over the internet, though we talked a few times over a video chat, because he doesn't live in the same country as us. It'll be time soon enough to meet IRL and I'm nervous like hell, but by all accounts and the way he's talked to me, and held back on sharing me with the rest of his family, I think I'm going to like him a lot.
Why the gently caress did she do it? She says she has no idea why she really did this, blames it on pregnancy and stuff, but I don't see how the pregnancy could have influenced her for my whole life. I love her, but there's times when it's just the two of us and I can't help but hating her for denying the both of us a chance to know each other as I grew up. I can tell my father is hurt about this, though he doesn't talk about it directly. And my mom probably can guess how I feel, given that she just starts tearing up at times she sees I'm angry or being curt with her.
I'm split in half, happy when I'm talking with my father, but mad like hell when I talk to my mom after. I want all this to get better, but at the same time, I want her to hurt. What do I do now?
tl;dr: Mom hid her pregnancy and my existence from my biological father, he only found out about me when I went off on a drunken rant about how he abandoned us. Now he's back and we're getting to know each other, like we should have years back. But I'm angry at my mom and worry that the anger won't go away. What the hell do I do?
Place your bets.
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Jan 17, 2018 19:01
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Looks like this is update
My two guesses from reading the first post was
1. Biodad actually abusive, mom left because she was afraid of him/raising daughter with him
2. Dad she was raised by was dating mom at the time, she picked him and made up the backstory as an easy out to not deal with court and complications over raising kid
Looks like it was #2
Man it's not fun if you shortcut the speculation.
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Jan 17, 2018 19:20
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Girlfriend is dumb and careless, but I will.join her in being surprised that hedgehogs can die from falling.
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Jan 18, 2018 07:01
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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I GISed "wall words" because of this thread and oh my god I'm so angry
Why do people get so pissy about wall words. I get that they are tacky, but people seem to hate them way out of proportion to their badness.
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Jan 19, 2018 22:38
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Is this the first time y'all ran into someone with a Madonna/whore complex? Dudes like this are relatively common.
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Jan 24, 2018 16:48
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Speaking of gifts.
My (27F) BF (30M) of a year and our friends (Varied, 20s to 30s) helped me out of a real bad spot financially. I'm very grateful but now I feel like I have no privacy.
quote:
This year or two has sucked, y'all. I'm changing some things per usual for privacy but the relevant information is preserved.
Actually lets go back to about 2 - 2 1/2 years ago. My ex, let's call him Mike, and I had been together for a little over a year at that time. Everything was fine. No major issues. The occasional squabble of course but nothing serious and usually over something dumb. Right around our year anniversary he picked up some new interests and a new job so that meant new social groups. Things totally changed.
He started being gone just about every weekend at events for these new hobbies that he never made an effort to include me in, to be fair a lot I wasn't super into myself but I'd have come with him sometimes, at least for a while. But he just started informing me "I have this on Sat and that on Sunday so I won't be around much, just FYI". Our work schedules didn't really line up at all so most of the time we had to spend together was weekends.
I thought he was just passionate about his new interests and friends and it would level out but it got worse. Then he started slacking on financial responsibility. This will already be pretty long so I'll sum it up as he did things like not pay his car insurance and plates and got his car impounded, with a bunch of stuff I needed in it, then couldn't get to work and lost his job. He said we were ok, he had savings, but if he did he never used it for the rent, just his hobbies and rent was behind. I didn't have the money on my own to pay all of our rent plus the back rent plus my bills. I had to break up with him and move out. Of course my name was on the lease so I gave the landlord what I could and explained what happened and moved into my new place.
Rents are really high here and the new place was just barely affordable to me if I stuck to a strict budget, which I'm actually pretty good at doing. But then everyone's hours got cut at my job because of course they did. I took up driving Lyft to try to make ends meet but that's not predictable income and also comes with expenses. I was slowly seeping money.
A friend offered me a job where she worked but then because the Universe loves me, after 3 months the business closed.
I wasn't rich before, now I'm screwed.
Again for brevity and privacy, I'm doing the best I can but things are getting way worse.
While this is all going on, I have a new BF of about a year who we'll call Dean, and a friend group of my own. Like any group some people you're more, or less close to. Of course Dean knows what's going on, as do a few of our friends that I'm closer with.
Dean comes over one night with a box and says "This is from everybody."
Inside is cat food, gift cards for groceries and places like Target, and a note and receipt that my rent is paid for the next 3 months. I lost it. That was all above and beyond generous and I never imagined that people would do something like that for me. Words truly can't express how grateful I am, and how much stress that relieved. I am blessed to have these people in my life because it was really looking like homelessness was unavoidable.
But here's the problem.
And I feel like an rear end in a top hat even talking about it because I realize nobody had to do poo poo for me.
Over the next couple weeks anytime I talked one on one with other friends they all seemed to know details of my life I hadn't shared with them. How did tue job interview go? Was I able to get my medicine refilled (I have an autoimmune condition and that shits not cheap)? Some of what they knew was pretty personal and other things I wanted to wait to share, like if I got the job or not, until there was an answer one way or another. And wait? How did they know I even HAD an interview? I mean it's not a secret but I also hadn't shared it openly.
So I asked Dean.
There's a group chat all about me.
Originally there was no problem with it and it was actually really sweet. Someone started it like "Our friend is in trouble. I can contribute $75 towards Target GCs. Can anyone else chip in?"
But then it morphed somehow into The Daily Me.
"She told me she has a job interview on Wednesday, if you pray can you pray that she's able to stay calm and do well?" "She told me she's been having a rough time with (health condition) lately" "When I talked to her yesterday she was really down, her self confidence has really taken a hit with all this."
I feel like I have no privacy anymore. I appreciate the concern but I also think it should be up to ME what I share with whom, when, and for what reasons. I don't think everyone shares everything with everyone because everyone and every relationship is different. You know that friend you never talk politics with because you just end up screaming at each other? Or the "You don't LOOK sick. Everyone has aches and pains" person? Yeah. Like that.
My health is personal. My emotions and mental health are personal.
I mean..... at least they were.
I want to stress at no point was I suicidal or even alluded to it. Just very very stressed with no idea what I was going to do. Yes, sometimes with Dean there were tears and anxiety attacks but that's as far as it went.
I also want to stress that I have no issue whatsoever with how this started out. The person who started it, who was not Dean, of course had to share SOME details in order to explain why he was asking for everyone to help. He was discreet and shared the minimum necessary.
Now I feel intruded on and humiliated. If I had organized that for someone it would have ended with "I gave her the box tonight and she was overjoyed. I wish you all could have been there, it was like you could see the stress leave. Thank you all so much, we did good."
Maybe a check in here and there of "Hey, how's she doing? Holding up ok?"
Not a loving play by play of everything I share all aggregated in one place. I'm so humiliated. I feel like what started as a nice gesture wanting to help someone has now turned into inspiration porn and a circle jerk of "look what good people we are" and that they see me as less than and something to be fixed and monitored because I CLEARLY can't take care of myself and I'll probably just blindly bumble into traffic unless someone is taking care of me.
Thing is Dean knows I'm somewhat of a private person. The worst of all this is that he NEVER stepped in and said "Hey, ask HER how she's doing" or "Would you want intimate details of your health shared with everyone? Would you want everyone to know YOU had a meltdown? We need to respect her privacy, she's still her own person."
But no. He jumped right in there too.
I am so, so, so grateful for the help. But I don't know how to handle this now. I'm not a wayward helpless gently caress up and I'm not a child. I'm a capable adult who just got dog piled with a run of extremely bad luck all at once. I really don't want to come off as UNgrateful but I also don't know how to approach this.
Dean and I aren't really talking right now and I'm not sure I even want to continue to be with him. I'm not deciding until I get my head clear about it. Everyone is on an information diet because I have no idea what's going to get shared and that's not how I want my friendships to be. I feel like they're all damaged now. I feel like people no longer respect me as an equal and I'm some hapless idiot they all need to make themselves feel better by taking care of.
I know nobody intended this to happen but I also can't change that this IS how I feel. But their generosity has also put me in a really difficult spot because what can I say that doesn't sound like "Thanks for the help but now I'm pissed off at you all"? This is loving awful. I hate this whole situation.
What do I do now?
tl;dr Friends and BF compassionately pulled together to help me out of a tight spot. But now the group chat used to organize the effort to help is now a one stop update for all my personal details. I don't feel like I can say anything without looking unappreciative.
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Feb 5, 2018 22:38
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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I agree, but how can she do that if he's not willing to discuss it at all? It seems like he's totally done with her, he just needs to actually break up with her imo.
"things have changed for him and how he sees the relationship and he's doing what's comfortable for him" = "I hate you now but I'm going to use you until I find someone else" imo
Yeah, she hosed up majorly, but if he's not going to put the effort into forgiving her, he should just dump her.
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Feb 23, 2018 01:12
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Excuse my ignorance, what's Norco?
It's a opiod painkiller, so I'm betting he "lost" it.
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Feb 23, 2018 09:07
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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My [29/F] boyfriend [35/M] I got into a fight about him taking over my space/house
Jesus christ, dude's 35 years old and responds like a literal toddler when challenged.
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Feb 25, 2018 19:33
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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She was just trying to make them more stressful, brilliant when you think about it.
My [25M] girlfriend [24F] only watches "tasteless" movies and television, doesn't ever watch things i like. I asked her to watch something I like for once and she got angry and stopped talking to me.
Didn't that just win Best Picture?
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Mar 21, 2018 05:48
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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pick what the gently caress is happening with your avatar(s)
People giving money for Lowtax's broken neck.
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Mar 27, 2018 23:33
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Yeah yeah, man without a spine. We've seen this before
My (28M) wife (27F) is tired of my family and has started avoiding get-togethers. I want to keep the peace, she wants to distance herself from them
quote:
Together 6 years, married for 5 months. My wife holds a lot of resentment towards my family (mom, dad, sister, brother), admittedly they acted like jerks during our wedding by trying to outshine us, being difficult and at one point my mom sabotaged my wife's bridal shower by "forgetting" to send out invites to her side of the family after volunteering to help. It was a really stressful time for us, but I have gotten over it and am now at the point where I laugh at how pathetic they were acting. My wife is still holding a grudge.
I've never had a close relationship with them, we are very cold to one another and I've always been the black sheep out of my siblings. I work for a corporation, I live in the city, and my wife and I make great money. My siblings, on the other hand, made bad decisions and they don't have as much as we do. In fact, they are struggling financially. It's awkward hanging out with them for gatherings/birthdays because they always make fun of me. It's usually playful ribbing about the car I drive, my job, the clothes I'm wearing, just petty stuff. We typically laugh it off and we can't joke back because honestly they're in such a poor financial/life situation that as anything we said would just be taken as insulting.
Last time we hung out with them, my wife and I had on a nice brand of running shoes and they poked fun at us for that. That was almost 2 months ago and she still hasn't let it go. She has missed 1 or 2 birthday parties for my nephews, and doesn't want to go to the family gathering for Easter. She says I can go, but she refuses to be around them, citing everything I mentioned above. I told her she should just laugh off all their jokes and not let it get to her because they are just jealous. She is still furious about our wedding, and doesn't want to let it go. Says she needs her space for a few months.
How do I keep the peace? I would like for her to be there for some get-togethers but I can't force her. I'm not going to confront my family because I don't feel that it would be productive and would only cause the rift between us to grow. Eventually they're going to notice she's stopped coming to everything. I feel stuck.
Tldr: wife is tired of my family because they've done stuff that makes them jerks, she refuses to go to any gatherings for a few months. I want her to go in order to support me, but I can't force her. What do I do?
Wait how did they try to outshine OP at his own wedding?
quote:
Well it wasn't on my wedding day, but the weeks leading up to it. My brother was jealous we were getting married before him (since he's older), so he proposed to his girlfriend of 1 year and rushed to get married before us. They had their wedding 1 week before ours, even though we had been planning ours for 14 months and they had known the date. They invited all of the same guests as we did, which made it difficult because some of my family members couldn't be in town for both. It was a bad situation all around.
Why doesn't she feel like hanging around these people? 
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Mar 30, 2018 00:41
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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I kinda think only the cheater is lovely.
You think incorrectly.
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Mar 30, 2018 00:46
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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The non-broken thing to do when something doesn't affect you, but severely upsets your significant other is to lend a sympathetic ear and do your best to console them. If he actually didn't care at all, he would be more concerned with the girlfriend than he would be outlining all the reasons why the guy deserved to die.
I would usually agree with that, but going to your boyfriend because you are sad that the guy you were cheating on him with and had promised to cut contact with but didn't died is a really dumb move.
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Apr 3, 2018 17:41
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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So what do you do when, say, you hear about a co-worker who recently suffered a death in the family. Do you just look them straight in the eyes and say "I don't know the deceased and thus have no feelings about their death."? Or do you say something along the lines of "I'm sorry for your loss"?
You understand there is relevant context here right? This isn't someone he doesn't know about, it's someone he knows and has good reason to dislike.
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Apr 3, 2018 21:13
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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My (21m) girlfriend (21f) of one year has a massive, YouTube worthy meltdown when her parents didn’t buy her the right car for her birthday. I really like her but is this a “run away” red flag?
quote:
To set the stage, we are students at a University in California. We met in a class about a year ago and immediately hit it off and have had a great relationship for just about the same amount of time. I really like her, in fact maybe even have stronger feelings than that and was really hoping this relationship could go places. One thing that is very different about us is that she comes from a wickedly wealthy family, her dad is in finance back on the East Coast and they have an incredible amount of money, in fact more money than I thought real people even had. So because of this she can act spoiled at times, but for the most part it’s not too bad. I’m not sure I’ll ever get get used to calling a car service vs an Uber or picking up a bar tab for a dozen friends on her Dads Amex but to her it’s just ordinary life.
Last weekend I went to her hometown on Long Island for her birthday. I was expecting her parents to be really hoigty but they were incredibly down to earth and very welcoming to a kid who grew up in Yuma. I’d never been in a house like that and it was nicer than any building I’d ever been in and it was literally on a private beach.
So the party came and it was incredible and a blast. The time for presents came and my girlfriends Dad ushered everyone out to the driveway where there was a brand new SUV with a bow on it. The house keeper even had these huge novelty scissors to cut the bow.
My girlfriend had a meltdown. I mean like she was 2 years old, someone made her eat her peas meltdown. She was screaming about it wasn’t the right brand, it wasn’t the right model, it even wasn’t the right color. Then she started screaming that she couldn’t drive that piece of poo poo across the country back to California and that it would just sit here and rest because she didn’t give a gently caress anymore. I was in shock I mean mouth on the floor never seen anything like it in my life shock. My parents are super strict but my dad would’ve literally slap me in the face Even at 21 if I would’ve ever spoken to him like that. I was petrified that someone was filming it and it would end up on YouTube because it was that cringe worthy.
For her parents, they didn’t even really react. like I said I would’ve gotten a world of hurt from my parents if I would’ve done that but her parents are kind of like “ there there it’ll be OK will get you the car you want don’t worry about it” type thing. I was in shock at their reaction as much as I was in shock at my girlfriends meltdown. She basically told them to gently caress off and she stormed off and ran upstairs and lock yourself in her room for the rest of the night. well her party guess sort of mingled around and chatted and then slowly made their exit. I didn’t see her again until Sunday morning. It was very cool because her younger brother took me into the city to see Manhattan because I’ve never been before so at least I wasn’t totally stuck With nothing to do.
The next morning she didn’t speak to her parents and a car service came and picked us up and took us to the airport. Basically the whole way there she was complaining about what idiots her parents were and how they didn’t appreciate her or even know her. I didn’t know what to say honestly because I was still in shock so I just kind of did the same thing that her parents did and kind of did the like “there there it’ll be OK, it’ll be OK” type thing that a parent would do a spoiled kid. When she finally quieted down on the plane I thought I was really stupid because I figure this is how she’s gotten away with everything her entire life. When we got back to California I went to my apartment, she went to hers and while we’ve texted we both have been busy and I haven’t seen her
My question is this, now that I’ve given you a snapshot of one incident, which is probably the worst incident I’ve ever had with her is there any hope for this relationship? Or am I getting myself in a situation that I will never be able to get out of and I just frankly can’t handle?
Tl;dr: my girlfriend had an epic meltdown when her parents didn’t buy her the right car for her birthday. I really like but do I just not ignore the signs and run away?
Gifts are acts of aggression.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:25
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Sorry, but I don't buy it. You're either wilfully ignorant or genuinely stupid if you buy your boyfriend's 'but the drunk girl overpowered me' bullshit. Like, he didn't even flatly deny it or say it was a fabrication, he made up some bullshit story about a drunk girl dragging him into her apartment.
The story Carla believed was that the OP tried and failed to seduce the husband.
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Apr 5, 2018 15:49
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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If my friend told me my fiance raped them and my fiance said he didn't I would believe him because if you don't trust your partner you shouldn't be with them. I sure as gently caress wouldn't turn around and slander my friend though. Jesus.
Yeah, she definitely shouldn't have made up lies about how the OP was threatening her.
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Apr 5, 2018 16:29
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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me (37f) with my husband (35m) of 3 years. He said some incredibly hurtful things in front of our friends. He was drunk and comparing me to a pro female MMA fighter.
quote:We were out on Sunday night with several of our friends. My husband had been drinking/yard work all day long and I had insisted he go out with us even though he said he was too tired. This is probably a big mistake on my part.
We were at a sports bar type place and they were having previews of this weeks MMA thing. My husband is a fan of MMA but I didn’t know he knew any of the names or personalities. They were featuring this tiny little girl with a shaved head who is apparently like the best of the best (I’ve since researched her since our argument). Out of the blue my husband said “I should have married a woman like xxxx.”
I thought we were in a joking phase and I said that she would kick his butt. He reasoned with “no seriously, look at her work ethic. You’ve never worked a day like that in your life.” It felt like I was punched in the stomach and the air got sucked out of our table is was so uncomfortable. I said if he was talking about her exercising and how tiny she was, he knew I couldn’t be that small if I starved myself. He said “no, look how serious she is (while pointing at the TV) she had goals. You never have goals. You couldn’t get your rear end form out in front of nexflix if our house was on fire.”
I was stunned, I asked if he wanted me to shave my head would that make him happy. He said I’d look like “uncle fester plus 100.”
I was devastated. I know I’m overweight but I try to be condfident but this was too much. I left in tears and my friend and her husband drove me home. They tried to console me but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk.
My husband and I work opposite shifts so we really haven’t seen each other and I’ve just stewed over this. This morning I decided I needed to talk it out with him. I calmly said “can we talk about what happened on Sunday?” He cut me off and said “look I’m sorry about the words I used but you have to know what I’m talking about.” I said no I didn’t. He kind of did this point up and down at my whole body and said “are you happy with this?”
I told him I was until he made me feel like poo poo about it. He said maybe he could learn something by paying attention to girls like this MMA fighter and realize there more to life than white choclate Mocchas and dinner specials.
I was devastated all over again but I just left and went to work.
I feel like poo poo, I feel worse than I ever have and he’s totally to blame.
What can I do here?
Tl;dr: husband said some incredibly cruel things about me while comparing me to a female mma fighter.
Start suplexing people.
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Apr 5, 2018 17:55
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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I(20M) have unintentionally caused a big fight between my best friend(20M) and his gf(22F). Need help mending bridges.
quote:
So my best friend and his girlfriend started dating around 9-10 months ago. She's a cool chick, more of a dudebro than the other girls I know. She's into gaming and we have other common interests as well, so we get along well. I have been genuinely happy for my best friend too, he was in a very unhealthy relationship before this and he was very happy until... This happened.
The thing is, she was in an open relationship before. She was free to hook up with other people, and often talks about it. The relationship didn't last, they broke up because the guy broke the "rules". She likes to romanticise the open aspect of the relationship (Not the guy though). My bud and her are in a monogamous relationship, and he doesn't like hearing about it at all. So, she talks about it to me. I'm a non-judgy person, and quite open as well, so okay whatever it's nice that she had that experience. I listen. Sometimes she overshares a bit, giving away details of her sex life.
One day, she was talking about a particular sexual thing she enjoyed doing with one of her long term hook-ups (or maybe the ex? I didn't quite catch what she was trying to say). I assumed that she did that with my friend as well, because he is very open about his preference for the act in question. So, I jokingly brought it up with him once (more like I teased him). He got upset and grilled me about it, and was pouting until we left.
This caused a Huge fight. Apparently, she doesn't want to do the act with him. He says that he has been begging for months but she doesn't want to. He has become very jealous and insecure, and is not talking to her anymore. She then called me and yelled at me for breaking her trust and ruining their relationship.
I do feel extremely guilty about it. I want to fix this. I shouldn't have opened my mouth at all. He was finally in a good place, and I ruined it all. I tried pacifying him and telling him that he should respect her boundaries, that people sometimes just grow out of their preferences and get uncomfortable with things they did previously. He is not ready to listen, and I worry that he'll later resent me for ruining his relationship. His argument is that she enjoyed doing (the act) with someone else, and given the length of their relationship, she should be comfortable enough to do it with him too.
To top it all off, she said very damaging things about him too. She mocked him for his dick size. So, he's really not ready to listen to her anymore. The gf has been calling me and crying, and I feel really really guilty about almost breaking them up. She is also blaming me, rightfully so. My friend is also not doing good, he's skipping college and is drinking all the time, talking about his perceived tiny dick and so on.
How the hell do I fix this?
Tl;dr My best friend's gf told me about a sexual act she enjoyed with one of her partners, I jokingly brought it up to my best friend. He gets upset because she doesn't want to do that with him, and they have a big fight. He is not talking to her anymore. Help.
EDIT: To give some more context, the act in question is a threesome. She enjoyed having threesomes in her old relationship. I think the polygamy dynamic of their relationship was a big part in it, but I don't know. I don't know the reason she doesn't want to do it with my friend though.
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Apr 10, 2018 22:09
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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The problem with that is, while the dude is dumb as hell, what exactly was he supposed to do? His points were valid; he works with the girl, not seeing her without getting rid of her was not an option. So he ended up firing her, and her main complaint was that he wasn't mean enough during it. What the gently caress could she possibly want?
The guy told the coworker to stop, she didn't, she got fired. His wife is right to be displeased about the situation, but her expectations are nonsensical here.
Mostly to act like he gives a poo poo. Like yeah he fired the girl, and that's good, but when you come home and your wife is crying in the shower, you don't just peace out and have some brews with the bros.
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Apr 13, 2018 19:41
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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This is my favourite "best friend" story.
My bestfriend sent me avideo of her and my ex and ended our friendship.
quote:
Sorry for posting again I had fallen asleep and my post got taken down bevause I was missing genders and ages
Thid is hurting me.I’ve (20F) known my bestfriend (19F) for 10 years. I don’t how all this happened. My ex (19M) and I were in a relationship for 2 years, poo poo happens amd we broke up because I lost myself in a week moment and slept with another guy while in a relationship. My best friend said I should tell him or she would tell him what I did so I told him amd we broke up. I made the worst mistake, I regret it all now. I don’t know why I let this happen. Please don’t bash me I’m just human and make mistakes
My best friend was very distant and texted less and never wanted to hang out. Out of nowhere she sent me a video of her having sex with ex. It still stings I still love him. She sent me a long text along the line of : “that’s what you get, you don’t deserve him he’s mine now and I’ll make sure he gets treated right and not get his heart broken by a trashy **** like you, hopefully you get what you deserve and don’t ever f*cking talk to me okay?”. I didn’t even answer. I don’t know what to do. Is there any hope left? With my best friend? With my Ex? Why would she turn her back to me like this?
Td:Lr best friend had sex with my ex boyfriend and sent me a video and attacked me
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May 3, 2018 22:11
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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You read that story and blame him? Are you Anne's alt?
Please don't try to chase Anne off again, it's nice having women who aren't Pick post.
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May 11, 2018 18:16
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Oh hell yes you do because done things are irreplaceable now. Someone steals my leopard and I can’t legally get another without establishing residency a different state where someone can legally sell one and is willing to. On the BM that motherfucker swamps some drat glasses.
Post the leopard.
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May 11, 2018 20:00
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 16:11
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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After finding out I [20F] had a boyfriend, my mom [53F] treats me as if I'm a disgusting person
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Outside of calling me a whore and a lot of other verbal abuse, after finding out I had a boyfriend my mom treats me a lot different than she used to.
Whenever I come home and I go in the bathroom, she questions how many showers I took and why. If I just get out of a shower, she gives me a dirty look and tells me I just took a shower earlier today, why do I need to take one again, even if I didn't. She refuses to let me wash my clothes with everyone else's despite it saving water. She tells me I need to hand wash my underwear before I put it in the washer. She bleaches the bathtub after I use it. These are just the things that come to my head.
I had one boyfriend who I am not even seeing any longer as she made me break up with him, and she treats me like I'm some filthy std ridden person. I want to move out but because of our culture and religion, I feel a lot of guilt and shame doing so. Any advice is appreciated.
tldr; My mom acts like I'm disgusting because I had a boyfriend. She won't touch my clothes, bleaches the bathroom after I use it, and constantly questions how many showers I take.
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May 23, 2018 20:04
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Oct 24, 2017 19:11
