/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Andrast posted:

Let the cat sleep where the cat wants to sleep

Counterpoint: If the cat won't sleep at the foot of the bed, it can sleep outside a shut bedroom door.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 21:05

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:10

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

vvv

How about she sleeps outside the shut bedroom door?

People are more important than pets.

Pick posted:

counterpoint screw you

You seem like the kind of person who calls their cats furbabies.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 21:09

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

If a person relatively new to your life comes into it and tells you to make changes - including getting rid of pets that were there before your relationship started - it is a huge and a sign that your relationship with that person is going to have control issues.

They haven't been together long enough for him to make a sacrifice like this. If she really can't sleep because of a purring sound (bullshit) she should go get a prescription for some ambien or lunesta and get over it.

I like cats but "I don't want a cat around my face when I sleep" is a perfectly reasonable thing to want, and not a red flag at all.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 21:22

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Moridin920 posted:

"The bed is my territory" and being so obviously threatened by a cat, however, is.

Yeah, I kinda skimmed the actual post, getting jealous of a cat is dumb and weird, y'all were right.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 21:25

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

WampaLord posted:

It's insane how Mirthless has experience with every single topic that comes up in this thread.

Not going to lie, I was half expecting him to "well actually" the incest stories.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2017 04:30

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

The problem is that every time I make more than two posts in a thread now it instantly creates a derail because we have people who follow this thread specifically to comment on my posting

Motherfucker, you have more posts than anyone in this thread but Pick, and didn't start posting until page 380. Next time someone yells at you for being stupid, just let it go.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 23:04

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

WampaLord posted:

Don't do your thing with this post. Just don't.

Also, you don't need to respond to anyone calling you out. You can just not post, it's okay to be silent sometimes.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 01:05

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Like the fact that a family member of his was killed by a drunk driver?

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 08:13

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Slugworth posted:

Counterpoint, hitting a dog is never acceptable and does nothing to help train it. And if he hit it hard enough that it whined and ran away, it was not some minor little slap. I was unfortunately raised to slap dogs to train them, our dogs growing up were slapped, and not a single one responded that way. (And all obviously ended up poorly trained anyway).

If he's somehow incapable of out stretching his hand to gently keep the dog away from his suit, that's on him, not the dog. It's not some sort of complicated jujitsu.

If you can stop a charging Labrador with a gentle push I would like to know your kung-fu secrets.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2017 20:56

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [27 M] snooped in my my girlfriend's [25 F] diary and found she gave me bed-bugs

Violating her privacy like that, has he no shame?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 18:15

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

quote:

Me [18 M] and my adoptive father [36 M] have had a sexual relationship. He feels guilty and wants to stop. I feel like I'm losing something precious and irreplacable.

Don't gently caress your dad kids. Even if he is adopted.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 06:05

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Khorne posted:

Same. I don't get it. What was she supposed to get him?

I'd be happy my girlfriend had a cool hobby like painting, and despite being a grumpy spergo I have a real soft spot for sentimental gifts. I even have old letters from people and old cards and poo poo tucked away.

He's probably just not happy in the relationship and seizing upon ridiculous issues to express the unhappiness he feels with not dating cake girl.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2017 20:02

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Tom Gorman posted:

She's a moron.

Eh, if he's going to be weird about her twin brother it's probably not going to last anyways.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 16:32

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Gloryhold It! posted:

Yeah, that's how my mom went, and it was not pleasant

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 22:20

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Pick posted:

??????????????? how the gently caress does that follow?

Women who are making enough money on their own don't consider their relationship an economic investment.

Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Apr 14, 2017

# ¿ Apr 14, 2017 06:55

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Pick posted:

You'd be absolutely loving stupid to not consider the economic ramifications of any marriage, male or female.

Yeah, but there's a difference between a relationship where you can still afford rent/mortgage in a nice part of town after a break-up, and one where you can't.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2017 07:12

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Buzkashi posted:

Oofa doofa

I'm [21F]pregnant and my one night stand [28M] isn't interested in our baby

Roughly 50% of her posts outside of this thread are in the hookup reddit trolling for booty while pregnant and dragging her son behind her.

Someone remind me why compulsory sterilization is bad again?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2017 03:12

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Buzkashi posted:

Oofa doofa

I'm [21F]pregnant and my one night stand [28M] isn't interested in our baby

Roughly 50% of her posts outside of this thread are in the hookup reddit trolling for booty while pregnant and dragging her son behind her.

Someone remind me why compulsory sterilization is bad again?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2017 03:44

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Pick posted:

That's really not fair at all. If you were severely handicapped if she is, and you guys have a kid together, the dad really does need to put in some effort there. It sucks that his brother is disabled, but he made the choice to get married. He made the choice to have a kid.

Also it is loving weird to call your parents every day

Not his kid. Which makes this whole thing crazier.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 16:49

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Tiny Deer posted:

The 'great' thing about dating a vulnerable adult is that it doesn't matter how old they were when they met, he's a massive loving predator anyway. It's just whether he's a child predator or not.

(Yeah he definitely is.)

I don't want to defend this guy, but someone with Aspergers/HFA is certainly capable of being in a sexual relationship, and dating them wouldn't necessarily make you a predator.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 19:11

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

From r/confessions

It wasn't an accident

quote:

My boyfriend and I were together for almost three years. Over the last 6 months(?) he has been hanging out with this other girl. He assured me that she was just a friend and that I was being paranoid. Two weeks ago he broke up with me and told me that he wasn't "ready to settle down" but on Tuesday I found out that he was dating her. After I found out, I angrily sent some really embarrassing photos of him to his friends. I wasn't in the best frame of mind at the time and I wasn't thinking. I didn't hear anything from him until this morning. When he contacted me I planned on just saying "yes, I did it and I don't regret it" but when I saw his face and how upset he was I panicked and I ended up just pretending that I had no idea that I had sent them and that it was an accident.
I looked on his twitter and some of his friends have tweeted him, making jokes about it. They're being really mean about it. I regret doing it but I don't know what to do now.

So what were these photos?

quote:

He was into femdom stuff in the bedroom and a few times he cross-dressed. I would help him put makeup on and he'd wear a wig, a dress, panties and stockings and he also put a cage thing on his penis. I wasn't all that into it but he liked it. I didn't send any of the photos with his penis cage or with him in panties. I sent the ones where he's in full makeup while wearing a dress and he's sucking on a dildo. Those photos are less embarrassing than the other ones but I know that they're still really bad. Again, I know that it was wrong and I feel terrible about it. I've never seen him so upset with me before. To be honest, I'm still hoping that we can forget all of this and get back together.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 00:00

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Pick: it does kind of feel like asexual people could feel like they're being picked on if they run across conversations like this?

Somehow, also Pick: Never date people with aspergers, they ruin everyone they touch.

# ¿ May 20, 2017 16:38

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Mirthless - endless contrarianism, has life experience with everything
Pick - bitter man-hating
Elsa - Insecurity and also Comics
Pvt. Scott - oversharing

Am i missing any?

# ¿ May 22, 2017 17:44

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

CharlestheHammer posted:

Don't forget that dude who basically what about the men? Every time. Cum something.

Is he a regular? I though he was just the latest in the line of folks who came by and got mad at Pick.

Slugworth posted:

I mean, oversharing seems like a pretty dolled up way of saying 'Potential Rapist'.

This probably doesn't say good things about me, but I'd scrolled past so many miserable stories by that dude that "One time I thought about raping a girl but didn't" was just another rock on his towering pile of sadness.

Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 18:25 on May 22, 2017

# ¿ May 22, 2017 18:23

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

It's just destruction of property (that a baby was inside of).

# ¿ May 29, 2017 17:10

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

maskenfreiheit posted:

Long time friend [24/F] invited me to dinner, but only wanted me [23/F] to eat side dishes

This isn't the worst thing in the thread, but it might be the most inexplicable. Who the gently caress does this? Mirthless, feel free to chime in with the time this happened to you and why.

# ¿ May 29, 2017 22:08

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

I know this isn't the point of the story, but I can't imagine splitting the cheque when you are married to someone.

# ¿ May 31, 2017 18:34

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

He definitely should have run that by the girlfriend ahead of time though.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 19:12

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Over a god drat Roomba.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2017 19:08

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Hey guess where I found this.

quote:

Well, I know we didn't meet because of Reddit. It was on Trump's twitch stream. I remember it so clearly: it was my first time visiting his stream and I wanted new frens to play with so I posted my battletag. You added me and that's when we started. We always thought this was fate. You rarely watched Trump's stream and it was also my first time there. People were spamming their battletags but you found mine. I was the only person you added.

We had an amazing time together. I'm not going to go in too much detail about why it was amazing because you know why.

I've already deleted and blocked you from all my social media accounts except Reddit so I'm posting this here.

We were perfect and very compatible. My friends begged that I don't let you leave me... and to try my hardest to keep you in touch. I can't and I won't. You aren't ready to be in a relationship. You believe that physical connection matters greater than emotional connection. I know we are long distance. I know that it may take years before we can meet. I loving know that our situation is difficult. I know it hurts. I know it is risky. I am willing to take the risk unlike you. I know that when we meet there's a chance we might not work. I know that if this happens you will think that we wasted years for nothing... But, most importantly, I know that long distance relationships are not impossible.

But HOLYYY poo poo dude? You can't say that the reason I can't remain friends with you is that I'm too immature to move on. You have never been in a relationship before. I've been in three. I can't remain friends with you NOT because I am too "immature." I can't do it because it will hurt me too much. It's not immature to dislike pain.

You were selfish in your decisions too. You broke up with me because you want to experience life the way "it should be." That ideal life you are talking about is dating people in person and holding hands and going to movies... loving hell lmao. That is not all what relationships are about. It's also selfish you want to stay friends because it'll make you happy to have someone to fall back to if your next relationships don't work. I am NOT someone to fall back to. You can't put me on hold to experience other people.

I'm going to miss having matching hearthstone related wallpapers. Thanks for crafting Ysera on your account when I couldn't afford her on my own. I'm gonna miss telling you hearthstone pick up jokes. I am going to miss putting murlocs on your face to cover up your pimples. I'm going to miss all your bitching. Your terrible jokes. I loved your worm's eye view selfies too lol. I mean they did look kinda bad sometimes but I loved them nonetheless .

Thank you for making me the happiest. I felt like a princess even though it was only for a year and a bit. You did most things perfectly. I 100% would do it again in the future. But only once you understand the relationship part.

Top of the Hearthstone (digital card game) subreddit

Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Jul 31, 2017

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 17:10

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

fruit on the bottom posted:

Does it annoy people when I double up stories in one post?

I'd rather you space them out a bit more, it gives each of them some room to breath.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 20:04

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

My parents finally discovered that my bf is diabetic and strongly disagrees with our relationship.

quote:

I'm a 28f and my bf is a 29m. We have been together for 2 yrs and always happy. He's a successful designer and I'm doing my PhD. He's good-looking, hard-working, kind and lovely in personality, has a good social/economic status and really respects my family. In a word he appears to be a perfect man.

However apart from all his merits he's diabetic.

My parents are both doctors and they're super concerned about my future SO's health issues. Knowing this I've tried hard to hide my bf's health condition in front of them, such as avoiding to let them meet in person. However my parents really want to meet him this year because they feel it's time that we get engaged. Feeling that I couldn't hide any more, I brought him to my parents, and told my parents my bf's insulin is 'vitamin injections' - which of course turned out badly. My dad is now super disappointed and my mom says I'm silly and an awful daughter who'll make them worried even if I'm a grown-rear end woman. My bf knew something against him is on (they discussed him with me by texting so my bf didn't really know, but my bf has been concerned about why I sometimes look sad these days) in the family but he managed to keep his best manners.

My bf has always been super nice to me. He guided me through some of the darkest time of my life, and has always been there when I need support (I have depression and am sometimes suicidal). And as for how he's good-looking but diabetic - he inherited it from his own grandma. I am well aware that this type of diabetes is not curable and can only get worse as he enters middle age. I also know that getting married with a diabetic man will possibly result in diabetic kids. I have thought about it all when I decided to start dating him at the beginning. As a well-educated young woman with a bright future I'm able to care for them. Those are my own issue. However after I told these to my parents, they became even more disappointed and even started to question their own ability of being parents in front of me - saying things like I'm 'rotten', 'cheap', 'a mess' and all.

My parents admits that my bf is a good young man and all his merits - his good-looking, nice manner, lovely temper and good social/economic background all exist for real. However they still say that it'll hurt them so much if I continue my relationship with him. I'm unluckily an only child - according to my parents, they love me so much that they don't want any more kids after me. So I've got no siblings to help me out. You can also imagine the pressure that'll come from the rest of my family members.

I am ready to fight for him. I won't trade him for the world. But at the same time I still know that the position of my choice will severely damage the relationship between me and my parents. That also makes me feel awful - as an only child who really got all the love, support and attention from my family the moral burden behind my choice would hurt so much.

In case someone says that I shouldn't have hide his health condition at the beginning - I love my bf and I know my parents would say awful things and disapprove of our relationship after they know about it, no matter how honest I am.

A funny fact is my mom's not medically perfect herself - she has severe rheumatism for decades. It is my dad who did all the house chores, cared for her, constantly get rare and expensive medicines for her and even bought a flat in a sunnier warmer area with her (in somewhere that's even expensive for a doctor couple).

I really wanted to ask my mom what if my dad's family keep telling him to divorce her... does she think it is fair if she's in my bf's shoes?

But considering my bf is still here I really couldn't do things in such a confrontational way - I don't want him to see all the yellings and tears and even me getting suicidal again. At least everything about my family look normal to him now.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2017 19:00

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

My Best Friend[25M] told me he caught my girlfriend[22F] of 5 years cheating on me[25M], My girlfriend says my friend is lying because he tried to sleep with her, and she rejected him and threatened to tell me.

quote:

I've known Dorian since 3rd grade. He started off picking on me, but we ended up becoming friends in scouts. He has always been a playboy and a big misogynist. Lots of flaws, but he never lied to me.

I met Charlotte when I was a TA. She was beautiful, even though it was against the rules we hit it off and have been together every since.

Since a few months ago, Charlotte has been having a ladies night every couple of weeks. I trust her, so I don't mind. Last sat at 3 in the morning Dorian calls me, he tells me he just saw Charlotte making out in the back of a club. He said he might go to jail because he decked the guy for me, and He confronted Charlotte. He said that she started crying and said that it was a mistake and to please not tell me.

Charlotte got home not 20 mins later. I could tell she had been crying, when I asked her what was wrong. She said that she went to a club with her friend, and She saw dorian there. She said they were drinking, and she went to the ladies room. When she came out, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her, she said she tried to push him away, but he was too strong. She said when she got free she smacked him.

She said that Dorian got super angry, and she said that she would tell me, he just laughed and said go ahead. I wouldn't believe her over him. And if she told me she would lose me.

I don't know who to believe. Either Dorian is a monster and I just never saw it. Or Charlotte is a Monster and I just never saw it. I told her that Dorian had called, and what he told me. I called Dorian back and told him what Charlotte told me. They both stuck to thier stories.

I told Charlotte that I needed some time to think. I left and went to my moms. She was crying as I left. I feel horrible.

TL;DR My best friend Either caught my girlfriend cheating, or he assaulted her and is trying to cover it up.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2017 21:58

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

The word you are looking for is transgender

Just checking, you are aware that has become settled terminology among trans people within the last decade right? Most people literally do not know this stuff.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 15:17

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Who What Now posted:

Why are you talking about a 6 year old having sex?

Learn to read.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 17:22

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

maskenfreiheit posted:

My [27F] ex's [26M] therapist [early 30's F] told him that I was a "oval office" and suggested that I have borderline personality disorderBreakups

Gonna go ahead and say the dudes therapist did not call his girlfriend a oval office sight unseen.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 21:59

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Sestze posted:

Now, is the kid a huge piece of poo poo? If he feels guilty enough to want to write an apology, hooo boy yes he's a piece of poo poo. Doesn't stop people from giving him advice (and then calling him a piece of poo poo)

He doesn't want to write an apology, it's an obligation he has in order to be re-admitted to his school.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 04:39

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

blarzgh posted:

I don't get what ya'll are saying; do you think Schools have the legal authority to halt police investigation and DA prosecution of crimes?

No they are saying that

A: lots of rapes are reported to a school but not the police, in part because

B: police regularly ignore reports of rapes that happen on college campuses. And

C: colleges will often sit on or cover up reports of rapes because their priority is making the school look good. Also

D: While there exists a clear legal standard of how police and large institutions should interact, money and power often mean that standard isn't applied.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 19:26

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW???

# ¿ Oct 19, 2017 00:57

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:10

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Esoteric Scientist posted:

the /r/relationships OP was deleted but fortunately someone on SRD saved it

My [30F] abusive father [58M] is trying to stop me from seeking inpatient treatment and trying to sue my therapist [65M]

Christ that better be fake.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2017 08:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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