quote:

I recognize that this sounds insane from the post title.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We have what I would describe as a pretty solid relationship. We have enough similar interests to enjoy activities together but enough divergent ones that we also have full, complete lives outside of the relationship. We already spend almost every night together and plan to move in together when his lease is up in the fall.

We work about three miles from each other and on some days carpool depending on schedules. Typically during the work week, I get up and make breakfast and pack our lunches. This has been ongoing since probably six months in. Usually for breakfast I don't do anything crazy: oatmeal, cereal, scrambled eggs and toast. Normal breakfast stuff. For lunch, I pack sandwiches, chips or pretzels, some sort of fruit, and a couple of days a week, a sweet treat. I always make his portions larger than mine and he's never complained before about any of it.
Today we went to lunch and stopped at a nearby park. I was sitting across the picnic table from him when I noticed some yellow on his shirt and made a comment, "You have yellow on you joke."
He looked over and scratched it away. There was a lot of it and I mindlessly said, "Did you take a mustard bath before lunch?" and he just turned bright red.

After some questions as to why he was embarrassed, the truth came out. I don't make him large enough meals, and almost every day for the past two or so years he takes his fifteen-minute morning break and walks to a nearby convenience store, where he purchases what can only be described as a second-breakfast hot dog.

I recognize this sounds ridiculous, but I am so hurt and upset that he has been starving all this time and never wanted to say anything. Of course, now I am embarrassed because he thinks it is all the funniest thing to ever happen, but I am really, really bothered that instead of sharing his discomfort with me like a normal person, he just had a mid-morning hot dog for months on end. The conversation eventually ended up with us both mad: Me for what I feel is deception, him for what he feels is me blowing this all out of proportion. Do I just ignore it, or is this indicative of bigger problems?

loquacius posted:

ok which of you is this

quote:

Edit: I decided to take the PM off and give him a chance to better explain himself and talk to him about being depressed and walked in to him watching videos of neighbor girl on our desktop. When he had the choice to pull up his pants or X out of the video, he chose the former. This now explains the $400 charge at Summit Hut which he didnt convincingly lie about in June as he went and bought a GoPro camera. So obviously this was all premeditated and has been going on for a while, he just got "greedy" and wanted to see a multitude of girls yesterday and not wait for the footage from his hidden camera which I just found hidden in our oleanders thaf grew on the wall. Found as he was trying to physically drag me back inside after telling me there was no camera anywhere despite the crystal clear video of our neighbors yard that was playing on our monitor. So yeah. He's kicked out and NEVER coming back and I have a meeting with a divorce attorney who will advise me on what to do with everything I found out today. I have no idea what to say to our neighbors as I'm sure they will seriously consider suing the hell out of us. My life is in shambles.

rakovsky maybe posted:

I suggest this fellow mind his Ps and Qs a little more.

CommissarRed posted:

Jesus, some of these people need to learn to just communicate better.

Gaunab posted:

most people agreeing that it's hosed up

I hate yankees posted:

did the guy post the videos of his wife getting banged out on pornhub? this is important

quote:

So I’ve been dating Rita for almost a year. I’m a grad student who works 2 jobs. My girlfriend dropped out of college before I met her.

When I met her, she told me she worked as a hostess at a bar/restaurant in the city. After a few months of dating, she told me that she actually works as a dancer. I was taken aback but I understood why she didn’t tell the truth initially.

quote:

About two weeks ago was the first time Rita met my family. We visited my parents’ home for a family get-together and dinner. Everyone seemed to enjoy each other’s company.

I spoke to my mom afterwards and she was curious about Rita’s goals/life plans. She pointblank asked me what Rita does for work. My mom is really perceptive which has always been a thorn in my side growing up and trying to get away with things. By now, I’ve learned it’s best just to be upfront and avoid the song-and-dance.

Okay, so I told my mom what Rita does for work and she asked me if I visited the club yet. She mentioned that I should make sure it’s not a front for a brothel because many clubs are like that. I was surprised that my mom’s telling me all this, and I expressed reluctance, but Rita also had lied to me about her job before…

quote:

I decided to visit the club earlier this week. I couldn’t find Rita, but several dancers went up to me for a dance/tips. Some were very leading and trying to get me to go back for something private. I declined but the whole place was skeevy and had a bad vibe. Also when I left, I noticed that there was a hotel right next to the club.

I spoke to Rita about it later that day about how uncomfortable the place was and how it bothered me. Rita flipped out that I visited and she asked why I went. I explained that I thought it would be alright and that I wanted to make sure the place was safe and not trashy. She then mentioned that she bets that my mom told me to go. And well my face was a tell.

Rita’s really mad and won’t talk to me. I’m not sure if I was wrong for investigating, but I’m also pretty sure there could be something rotten about this whole thing. I don’t want to date a lady of the night.
Any advice? Am I jerk?

Edit: I did some limited research online about the club, the dancers including Rita, and the nearby hotel-dump. The hotel and club are owned by the same company. Some dancers including Rita have reviews stating they do extras including 'bareback.' Looking back on Rita's response I think she was lashing out about possibly being found out. I am going to go NC and avoid.

loquacius posted:

I was in his corner until I saw "NC and avoid"

Do we not break up with people with words anymore nowadays, this country is going to hell in a handbasket *rocks chair, unwraps werther's original*

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah the shadenfreude about the dude being so oblivious is rich, but I've got to hand it to him at the end for basically going "Yeah I'm a dumbass. Not going to speak to her again." You go dude. You go.

quote:

Well, you insinuated that she's a whore and you don't trust her, so yeah, she's probably pissed. Have you talked to her about how she handles guys approaching her for some "extra attention" or what the club and management are like? Asking her to get into more detail with you about what it's like to work there would actually express concern for her well being instead of your selfish fear that you don't want to "date a lady of the night."

quote:

So your mom still picks out your clothes and girlfriends...
This girl is better off without the both of you. Just leave her alone and just ask your mom to set you up with someone.

quote:

Your mom is quite the expert saboteur.

A few things. Being next to a hotel is a coincidence and nothing more. Dancers were trying to take you to private areas because it costs more, not to have sex with you. It's just basic upselling. The fact that Rita assumed correctly almost instantly that your mom was behind this says to me that this is not the first time your mom has meddled in your life/relationship.

Also, this jumped out:

I was taken aback but I understood why she didn’t tell the truth initially.
but Rita also had lied to me about her job before…

So which is it? Do you understand why she wasn't forthright (but did tell you as the relationship progressed) or do you not trust her?

Look, if you're only starting to question things because your mom said so, then you need to grow up. If you have questions or concerns about what Rita does, you talk to her.

quote:

Do strippers double as prostitutes? Some certainly do. I do not know what percentage of them, but it is a non-zero number. That said, what you described sounds like a typical strip club. The hotel being next to it means nothing. Them asking you to go back for a private dance is standard procedure.
So is your girlfriend also a prostitute? Probably not. Could she potentially be one? Sure, but so could any other woman.

Gaunab posted:

According to that article, no. I wonder how many redpill/mra types fell for the clickbait.

Roylicious posted:

I think my favorite is when people describe some fairly eyebrow raising almost serial killer like traits and then go 'is this a red flag?'

Nah, his obsession with your natural hair color and hinting that things will not go easy for you if you don't comply is just flirting hon.

Bonzo posted:

bald fat

Zzulu posted:

canned air?

Jack Trades posted:

Am I the only one who thinks that nobody should've been crying or given a silent treatment to?
Provided that both statements were intended as jokes that is.

Gaunab posted:

some goon better watch out, his girlfriend is getting annoyed

I [22F] do not share my boyfriend's [26M] interests and I'm tired of hearing about them all the time.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Holy poo poo that's dark, jesus christ...

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Wow, she's batshit.

• Still-A-Nobody • 15m
I honestly thought people would be on my side. I thought they'd give me pointers on how to contact my ex and how best to express my emotions. I never expected everybody to be on his side.

Poonerman posted:

also, this one is an oldie but a personal fav of mine

he never posted an update (lol) and the post was removed. the comment section is worth a look, though:

Funky See Funky Do posted:

I mean the threshold thing that's hiding her comments. I don't use the site but is not having enough children the usual reason comments are hidden?

Zo posted:

"Fortnight" is still shorter than "every two weeks" so i support using it as much as possible.

kaschei posted:

No need to nitpick over "fortnight" when he uses "whilst"

quote:

My [33F] boyfriend [30M] of 3 months used the N-Word and thinks it's ok

blarzgh posted:

"I Live for Halloween(I desperately look forward to the one day a year where I get to dress like a fat, slutty master chief or whatever)" is the hidden gem of this profile.

Frog Act posted:

Gamer With Dignity posted:

Thanks for explaining it to me.

Tricky D posted:

I guessed that the man was over forty, but I incorrectly assumed that the woman was in her mid twenties.

sincx posted:

Evolution in action



Me 26 M with my wife, 25 F of 6 years, does not want to bear my children because of my height.

JFairfax posted:

lol ur dad ain't your dad

Lockback posted:

This dude is a Sever champion.

quote:

Hi everyone, first time user. I have been up all night, the tension in my house you could could cut with a knife. I am having trouble with this situation. I cannot even get a full day of work in from home, I have to keep my boys from killing each other.

My daughter Trish attends college and she has her own apartment near campus. She has a roommate Sophie, and he has been asking them both is he can move in with them. They seem to be OK with it, but I am not so much OK.

The problem
My son Eric had a girlfriend Kristen, they dated for about a year. Last week I heard my sons fighting big time, they were shoving each other into things, trying to hit each other and I broke it up. Kristen cheated on Eric with his older brother Daniel. Dan and Kristen are now dating and Eric is miserable.

Eric does not want to go to family counselling, he walked out of the building when I took them both. Eric does not want to talk to Daniel, he locked Daniel out of the house when I had to go into the office. Daniel shoves him and they cannot be in the same room without fighting/throwing an insult.

Eric wants to move out and I don't know what to do. Should I let Eric the 15 year old move out or is there another way? I love my daughter but she is a college student and she likes to party. I don't feel comfortable with my 15 year old living with college students.

But at the same time Eric is miserable with Daniel here and my boys are at each others throat constantly. Eric does not want counselling or therapy, as I stated earlier he would just walk out of the room.

I have no idea what to do, their father is out of the picture. I don't know where he is, all I know is he is living in NYC now with his girlfriend.

tl;dr: Sons girlfriend cheated on him with his brother and is now dating his brother. He wants to move out and live with his sister who is a college student.

fits my needs posted:

I don't think Moridin understands basic human emotions like trust and jealousy.

sincx posted:

Lol man if you aren't being ironic then you are a huge word-I-can't-say

ArbitraryC posted:

It could be a boundary thing. I broke up with a girlfriend of ~2 years for kissing a dude at a party, she was honest about it the next day and apologized profusely but I just couldn't get it out of my head that if I let it slide the next time it'd be more than 1st base. Full on severed and didn't talk to her for ~half a year at which point I had finished up school, was dating someone else, and wanted missed the friendship a bit. We still talk on and off and I hang out with her whenever I visit my hometown but I was 100% right and she's basically cheated on every boyfriend she's had since then.

I think kissing someone outside the relationship is a potentially forgivable offence but maybe at that point he just felt disrespected or worried that things wouldn't stop there if he didn't put his foot down, I'd have broken up in his shoes too.

Moridin920 posted:

this one is long so I'll just link and tease

quote:

We didn't exactly fight about it but I'm still pretty bummed that she would do that. My girlfriend says that my "attachment to material things is troubling" and that I'm overreacting.

loquacius posted:

man, that little girl has not mastered the craft of writing tl;drs yet

a7m2 posted:

i feel bad for him but he's a loving doormat too. lol at him apologising to his dad

Centripetal Horse posted:

There is no protagonist in that story. Somehow, I ended up disliking the poster even more than the racist piece of poo poo boyfriend.

TastyAvocado posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7fR0NheFPs&feature=youtu.be&t=7

ArbitraryC posted:

I don't really get what the big deal is, I did that in college when money was tight and in other cultures it's a pretty common setup.

Shnag posted:

It would be funny if it turned out the ex bf just had a pencil dick. What a douche bag.

terrorist ambulance posted:

Some people decided to be extremely kind and charitable to me. The same slightly off the beaten path traits that let me freeload off them also cause them to be interested in and do things that most people don't do. What should I do reddit

Moridin920 posted:

this x1000

like holy gently caress I can't imagine even getting to proposal stage with someone like that (obsessed with material poo poo but not even rich herself so she expects others to do it for her) but dude after a snub like that it's loving over bitch

Moridin920 posted:

I bet there's actually a lot of professionals out there like him, and yeah I was a bit surprised at the amount of vitriol haha like he gets it dudes he gets it he is seeking to improve.