READ OP! War in Ukraine: a distressed blender making too many margaritas at once

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Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

KitConstantine posted:

Security Council meeting going on now - Russia's rep already spoke, it consisted of what you would expect.
https://twitter.com/julianborger/status/1500939069412491270?t=yjNI9va43vGvLrKWsuxWRw&s=19

They could not have picked a more Joss-Ackland-in-The-Hunt-For-Red-October-looking motherfucker if they'd tried.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2022 23:37

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 23:14

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

ronya posted:

https://twitter.com/phildstewart/status/1501126678738841601

Inevitable:

# ¿ Mar 8, 2022 13:26

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Antillie posted:

Am I the only one who gets the feeling this will end with Russia taking some territory from Ukraine in the east and south but being forced to recognize the sovereignty of the rest of Ukraine? (Which will then go on to join the EU and NATO) AKA: Winter War 2: Electric Boogaloo.

That's the feeling I'm having as well, especially the NATO/EU part; if nothing else, the invasion has shown the value of not being neutral when you're bordered by an aggressive, land-grabbing authoritarian power. However, my track record in recent years has included "President Donald Trump? C'mon, be serious," "this covid-19 bug probably won't be a big deal" and "Putin won't invade Ukraine, that would be crazy" so I'm not confident about the worth of my own gut instincts. :smith:

# ¿ Mar 8, 2022 15:57

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Young Freud posted:

Hereford seems pretty awfully quiet these days with all the SAS boys "on vacation" right now.

Now there's nobody who can confirm the colour of the boathouse!

# ¿ Mar 9, 2022 23:57

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Watched a video the other day that detailed (well enough, to my reading) Putin's motivations and objectives in invading Ukraine, and one was to restore a major water supply to Crimea that after its annexation the Ukrainians had, entirely reasonably, dammed up. I'm curious if the Russians have destroyed the dam yet - anyone know?

# ¿ Mar 10, 2022 11:46

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

cinci zoo sniper posted:

U.K. is saying they�ll eventually ban it - same as their other sanctions, with plenty of room for Londongrad residents to salvage anything of relevance.

As with literally everything else Johnson and the Tories say, it's deliberate misrepresentation at best and (most often) an outright lie that the media is generally unwilling to call them on. The Good Law Project cross-checked the list of Russian oligarchs facing sanctions with those who'd made donations to the Tory party, and surprise! There was zero crossover!

It's depressing as gently caress living in this country, because the lying and corruption from the government has become utterly shameless, but they keep getting away with it because "80 seat majority and another two years to an election, what the gently caress are you gonna do about it, huh?" [burns �50 note in front of homeless person] The invasion of Ukraine has actually been a massive help for Johnson, because it's swept the ongoing sleaze and lies of the massive covid fraud by chums of Tory politicians and Partygate (and the fact that we have a PM who's under police investigation for it) completely off the front pages.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2022 16:00

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Murgos posted:

"Here is a thing that is working at its intended purpose perfectly. We should dismantle it." That's some broken thinking, yes, lets reinforce success at the peak of it's usefulness by defunding it.

You just described the thought processes of the GOP/Tories/etc perfectly. "Why am I paying for this societally useful thing that I personally gain no financial benefit from?"

# ¿ Mar 10, 2022 16:46

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

There Bias Two posted:

Is this some sort of mutiny or just young soldiers being stupid?

Considering the kind of things my father-in-law recently been told me he got up to while dealing with the Soviets and East Germans in the Berlin Corridor... almost certainly the latter.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2022 00:12

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Blockhouse posted:

I know this is a stupid question because it's the question and has probably already been talked about at length in this thread but it's still all I can think about

What happens after this?

Because win or lose, the damage has been done. Putin's reputation as a shrewd and calculating strong man is in shambles. A major world power's army has spent the last three weeks in an embarrassing loving clown show invasion that has resorted to just throwing their hands up and war criming as they can to accomplish their goal. The Russian economy is likely going to be devastated for gently caress knows how long, And even if - and it's wild that this is even an "if" at this point - Russia takes Kyiv, pops Zelenskyy, does the "Mission Accomplished" song and dance there's still almost certainly going to be enough Ukrainian rebels to make life for an occupying force or puppet government a living Hell for decades to come.

Obviously Russia keeps the security that a nuclear deterrent gives you but uranium isn't going to feed a starving populace when most of the world treats your country like it's a leper colony. What is being accomplished? What's the endgame? Why is this still loving going on?

Putin's entire motivation for this seems barely comprehensible from a western point of view. He's the undisputed biggest fish of a nuclear-armed power, who could do pretty much anything he wanted without consequences within Russia and even beyond (see Salisbury), he's gained his country an enormous amount of soft power and money-hosed his assets and useful idiots into positions of importance in the west (Trump, Carlson, Nigel Farage and lots of Tories and right-Labour figures in the UK), acquired enormous personal wealth through running Russia like a mafia boss and taking a direct or indirect cut from any companies that want to operate in an expanding market, had the countries of Europe terrified of upsetting the bear for fear of economic retribution or having their gas cut off... and has just pissed all of that away, likely for decades to come, because he apparently still sees the world from a Cold War mindset of "everything Soviet is still Russia's, and NATO must be kept from our borders!"

Now he's united the EU, strengthened NATO, strengthened the case for NATO, wrecked his economy, encouraged countries like Germany to find ways to wean themselves off Russian energy as quickly as possible, got all his oligarch cronies sanctioned, made the west look seriously at anyone who's received Russian money, turned Russia into a pariah and exposed its armed forces as weak and incompetent (as well as getting a lot of people killed). And for what, even if he actually takes Ukraine? Some extra oil and gas fields in the Black Sea and a buffer state against an imagined Clancy-style NATO invasion?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2022 11:25

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Pretty sure Ukraine would jump at the chance to come out of this with an agreement with Russia that they could end up like "Austria with its own army", since 'neutral' Austria is an EU member that has solid cooperation with NATO, and its chancellor said literally this week that NATO would help protect the EU as a whole from Russia, whether its individual members were in NATO or not.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2022 12:21

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

SlowBloke posted:

Any state even remotely interested in joining had a nice show of their potential future in Montenegro, which is soon going to be eaten by China repo mans.

I'd read about this a while back, but looking at it again, holy poo poo those terms. (Can't pay back the debt? Then we can just take ownership of chunks of your land instead. Want to take us to court? That would be a Chinese court, suckers.) The politicians who signed the deal must have either been on the take or incredibly naive and stupid.
https://www.npr.org/2021/06/28/1010832606/road-deal-with-china-is-blamed-for-catapulting-montenegro-into-historic-debt

# ¿ Mar 17, 2022 20:05

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Lead out in cuffs posted:

Dubya served out his two terms, retired a multi-millionaire, and made tons of money for Halliburton and co. Those are the closest cognates of Putin and his cronies in this analogy. The war ended poorly for everyone else involved, but other than a dip in Dubya's popularity at the end, he and his pals made out just fine. If anything Putin looked at the Iraq war and went "why wouldn't I want some of that?"

Dammit, I was about to post pretty much exactly that. W got to retire rich and happy and spend time on his ranch painting, while his erstwhile enemies at home happily rehabilitate his image by saying "well, compared to Trump he was a great statesman!"

I suppose though that Putin's endgame is him being on his deathbed at 113 while having not given up one iota of power, and preferably having multiplied it manyfold, with everyone in Russia still terrified of displeasing him in any way.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2022 00:39

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

fuctifino posted:

I'm not sure how well known George Galloway is outside the UK, but he used to be considered quite left wing, then became an RT presenter, a conspiracy grifter, and is now leader of a far-right Scottish nationalist party.

He just tweeted this:

https://twitter.com/georgegalloway/status/1505132372827725824

I think you're mixing up Alex Salmond (leader of a Scottish nationalist party) with Galloway (leader of a Scottish unionist party). They're both RT presenters/rentagobs, though. (Well, they were until RT had its UK broadcast rights pulled a couple of days ago.)

# ¿ Mar 19, 2022 12:13

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

KitConstantine posted:

Nexta link but it's reporting the words of Odesa's spokesperson - apparently the commander in charge of the Mariupol offensive has been identified by Ukraine.
https://twitter.com/nexta_tv/status/1506206539060858887?s=20&t=GfZpgvH6y4JPbiSP8hzTfQ
If he survives this war I expect he'll be sleeping with one eye open for the rest of his life

The guy looks like Leland Palmer after he was possessed by BOB.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2022 16:05

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Tesseraction posted:

It will be interesting once the propaganda can be separated from the truth whether there's validity to the "we were told to drive and before we realised it we were in Ukraine" claims from non-officers.

Maybe they'll try the "Well, it worked in Die Hard 5" defence.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2022 15:58

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Ikasuhito posted:

Can't let your disposable puppets get to well equiped. They might start getting... Ideas

SOP for occupiers. In WW2 France, the Germans were so wary of arming even the Milice (French collaborator militia charged largely with hunting the Resistance) that while the Milice were issued with holsters as part of their uniform, so few actually had guns they had standing orders to stuff them with paper to look as if they had weapons.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2022 10:23

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

alex314 posted:

Whole video is pretty amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3cWMQUmBXQ
Someone should prop up Shoigu's corpse to do one of those with some Iskanders.

Did this Kim kidnap Michael Bay to one-up his father?

Hope they weren't planning to use that TEL again as it looked like it got toasted.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2022 12:44

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Grape posted:

Yeah, this checks out with the Brits as well. Chasing the ghost of their empire and importance is basically what Brexit was all about.

Depressingly true. But if you point out that the Empire is gone and is never returning no matter how many Imperial measurements are allowed back in supermarkets or minorities are brought back to permissible target status for the gammons, you're told how dare you talk down Glorious Britain and its Wonderful Leader Who Beat Covid, because Brexit cannot fail, only be failed.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2022 00:10

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

My best guess is two ukrainian helicopter pilots got a little drunk and dared each other into a mini doolittle raid and then they got lucky and caught russian air defense with their pants down, possibly because the russians assumed they were returning Russian pilots or because they flew low enough to not get detected or both.

Russian civilians reported that as the Hinds flew past, they heard someone singing "Downtown".

# ¿ Apr 1, 2022 13:29

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

CommieGIR posted:

Its more suprising because Russia supposedly has really good radar and AA coverage, but apparently didn't expect Helicopters vs medium to high altitude aircraft.

Now wondering if I've still got a copy of Craig Thomas's thriller Winter Hawk, or if I'll have to pick one up on eBay. It's a sequel to Firefox where a couple of 'borrowed' Hinds infiltrate Russia on a spy mission.

Whatever happened to Matthias Rust, by the way?

# ¿ Apr 1, 2022 15:38

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

punk rebel ecks posted:

I find it amusing that due to this Ukraine will be more nationalistic and pro-�West� than ever.

Putin's to-do list:
Blitzkreig Ukraine and capture Kyiv in three days
Capture and execute entire Ukrainian leadership
Turn Ukrainian citizens into loyal and obedient Little Russians
Secure the entire Black Sea coast
Demonstrate Russian power to the world
Demonstrate weakness and impotence of the West in face of said Russian power
Use economic and energy dependence as stick to force EU to accept conquest of Ukraine
Divide and humiliate the EU
Divide and humiliate NATO
Deter nations within Russian sphere of influence from joining NATO
Increase influence of pro-Russian stooges and useful idiots in the West

Going well so far.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2022 07:59

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Mr. Sunshine posted:

It's pretty strange that Russia doesn't understand the EU/US approach of "don't gently caress with us and we won't gently caress with you".

It comes across as paranoid projection on an international scale. "We are trying to take control of every nation we consider to be in our sphere of influence through every dirty means we can think of up to and including full-scale military invasion, so obviously all our enemies must be up to exactly the same thing; we have to do it before they do!"

I mean, I don't doubt that Western powers are trying to influence those nations in their favour, but they're not so brutally blunt and overtly menacing about it. Russia is all stick and no carrot, and the stick has rusty nails in it for good measure.

Small Strange Bird fucked around with this message at 13:43 on Apr 8, 2022

# ¿ Apr 8, 2022 13:37

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Marshal Prolapse posted:

I know I�m going to get slagged for saying this (and I know about the Tories and Londongrad), but for this crisis I�ve been very happy with the UK and Boris have been supporting Ukraine. Maybe it�s all just cynical, but until then, consider me happy.

Nah, I can't even give them that. The Tories' utterly psychotic and cruel immigration regime means they're doing everything possible to deny refugee status to Ukrainians (and anyone else, admittedly), and Johnson is both desperate to get a Churchill moment where he looks like a Serious Statesman of a Powerful Nation rather than a vacillating loving clown, and also to distract from Partygate, which is like Al Capone being brought down by tax fraud only even more stupid and contemptuous of the law. Yes, their support for Ukraine is good, but it has the most cynical motives behind it. (Remember that the laws currently being pushed to criminalise protest would probably have Putin nodding in approval.)

# ¿ Apr 9, 2022 23:08

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

CommieGIR posted:

They were using Anti-Ship missiles as artillery as well

Waiting for someone to deepfake Putin's face onto Peter Firth's and Zelensky's onto Sean Connery's in the scene where Ramius kills the Red October's political officer whose name is Putin.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2022 07:34

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

tehinternet posted:

Not gonna lie, I�d be thrilled to hear a �very diverse group of totally not NATO personnel� has appeared to serve in the defense efforts or to totally not operate NATO equipment

Little Blue Men?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2022 07:35

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Rather than spotting a target then shooting, Switchblade and its ilk let you shoot then spot a target.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2022 19:13

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Charlz Guybon posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/ChuckPfarrer/status/1515387635606319106

Cyberwarfare being met by a Hellfire equivalent coming through the window of a room full of Russian nerds is probably the best possible deterrent.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2022 11:37

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Chalks posted:

https://twitter.com/Joyce_Karam/status/1517118119784951808

"No! No! How many times did I tell you? The Rods from God fire from orbit!"

# ¿ Apr 21, 2022 15:14

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Grape posted:

I'll take option number 1.
Always go for whatever fits the mafia state model.

I'd wondered if Putin had committed the number one sin in the eyes of the Mafia: he's hosed with the money. So he's pre-emptively taking out potential opposition (and their families) as a warning to the other dons that he can send the FSB after them wherever they are in the world.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2022 19:24

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Heck Yes! Loam! posted:

This is probably a dumb question, but why haven't we (NATO) given Ukraine poo poo tons of A-10 Warthogs so they can go brrrrrrrrr on Russian tank columns and provide air support to infantry? It seems like the perfect aircraft for their defensive needs.

Training: the UAF doesn't use A-10s (nobody but the US does), so would have to be trained up to fly it.
Escalation: the Russians would undoubtedly see it as direct US/NATO involvement, with all the dangers that entails.

The US military would probably love to hand over all their Warthogs to someone else as they've been trying to get rid of them in favour of something newer, shinier and more expensive for years if not decades, but Congress keeps telling them "are you loving kidding?"

# ¿ Apr 22, 2022 07:00

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Chalks posted:

In the UK we had an energy price cap in place, so when wholesale prices spiked a load of energy companies went bust. They then removed the cap and energy prices doubled year on year.

I'm not sure how much of that shock is due to the current situation and how much is just stupid energy policies unique to the UK

I just had my monthly energy bill go up by 75%, and it sure as hell isn't because I'm using more than before.

The poo poo's-fuckedness of the UK energy market is best shown by energy companies that make a big deal of how much of their supply comes from renewables whacking up their prices by as much as everyone else, just 'cause they can.

Also by a company that produces North Sea gas selling its supply to... Gazprom. (Still ongoing as of a couple of weeks ago despite reports that the deal was off in March.)

# ¿ Apr 24, 2022 11:34

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Doccers posted:

[edit] I was genuinely surprised reading that as well, regarding the state of the Russian side - Space is supposed to be their big thing, at least, thats the impression I got after we cancelled the Shuttle program and had to rely on them for lifts to the ISS...

If anything, that article severely short-sells US capabilities. The Keyhole series is pretty damned old at this point, I'm almost certain that we've got a lot of better stuff up there now that we have no need to advertise.

The National Reconnaissance Office, which launches and runs US spy satellites, had, the last time unclassified figures were available, a bigger budget than either the CIA or NSA.

Wikipedia posted:

NRO's technology is likely more advanced than its civilian equivalents. In the 1980s, the NRO had satellites and software that were capable of determining the exact dimensions of a tank gun.[22] In 2012 the agency donated two space telescopes to NASA. Despite being stored unused, the instruments are superior to the Hubble Space Telescope. One journalist observed, "If telescopes of this caliber are languishing on shelves, imagine what they're actually using."

So a decade ago they stopped using a satellite that was more powerful than Hubble, only instead of looking out at things billions of light years away was looking down from LEO. Probably veering dangerously close to Clancychat, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn they have an orbital version of Gorgon Stare that can cover a good chunk of a country rather than just one city.

cinci zoo sniper posted:

Russia is trying to pull off something odd. 200 thousand diplomatic passports have been ordered through the public procurement system, with an official list of recipients including �wife of Medvedev� and �other persons�.

It smells like they�re about to swear everyone related to a billionaire a diplomat.

"Diplometic immunitay, Mr Biden!"
[Gunshot] "It's just been revoked."

# ¿ Apr 27, 2022 08:08

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

cinci zoo sniper posted:

They have actually done that? I�m either misunderstanding or misremembering something then, and would appreciate a clarification.

The video of the 'hypersonic missile obliterating an arms depot in Ivano-Frankivsk' turned out to show a large barn or similar being blown up, as it was very quickly geolocated - and found to be considerably closer to the Russian lines, like half the width of Ukraine, than claimed. (That it was being filmed by a slow-moving drone even though it was supposedly well within Ukraine's air defence zone was a dead giveaway.)

# ¿ Apr 28, 2022 11:58

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

CommieGIR posted:

So they really cannot avoid an overflight of territory likely swarming with new AA systems and/or aircraft.

This is gonna be hilariously sad if Russia tries this.

I just looked on the map and Tiraspol's runway is like five miles from the Ukrainian border at its absolute farthest point. It's probably within manpads range, never mind anything bigger. (The land looks pancake-flat as well, so detection range will be whatever the missile's maximum is.)

That's assuming they ever get anywhere near Tiraspol, of course.

# ¿ May 2, 2022 18:47

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Watch Elon Musk buy it at auction

I so hope for the old adage to be proved true: "What's the fastest way to become a millionaire? Be a billionaire and buy a boat."

# ¿ May 6, 2022 23:30

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

The Lone Badger posted:

Doesn't positioning troops on their border push Finland towards joining Nato ASAP holy poo poo guys I don't care what they ask for we gotta get this signed right now?

Putin's actions leading directly to Russia going from having an eighth of its western border be with NATO countries to a full third makes me suspect he may not be the 5-D chess genius we've been led to believe.

# ¿ May 13, 2022 07:55

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

gay picnic defence posted:

Why is Hungary in NATO? It sounds like they'd be far happier in the Russian-led equivalent.

Orban leaves NATO and the EU to form a one-nation Warsaw Pact Jr, and is bewildered that still all his neighbours think he's a twat.

# ¿ May 13, 2022 15:31

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Moktaro posted:

Much like Putin reaching for the shiny red button, this would end up Red October - You Arrogant rear end.jpg

Things did not turn out well for Putin in the movie either. He's the guy Connery kills at the start in a reverse :commissar:

# ¿ May 16, 2022 07:36

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

gay picnic defence posted:

How is Russia so poo poo at this lol

Corruption and brainworms.

Say what you will about the type of legitimised corruption endemic in the Western MIC, which hands colossal amounts of public money to private companies, it at least results in stuff actually being built and (eventually) working, however overpriced. Any money that Russia puts into its own military seems to end up either paying for some officer's dacha or whatever's bought with it being stolen and sold on the black market (like the explosives from their reactive armour, JFC).

# ¿ May 16, 2022 12:13

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 23:14

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Erdogan saying he'll veto Sweden and Finland joining NATO over the 'harbouring terrorists' (ie, having Kurdish refugees and refusing to extradite them) issue, according to the BBC. Got to be more than a few NATO members looking at the North Atlantic part of the acronym and mulling "Why do we keep Turkey around, again?"

# ¿ May 16, 2022 21:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > READ OP! War in Ukraine: a distressed blender making too many margaritas at once

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