Hardcordion posted:

How exactly do you switch a sleeping person's pajamas without waking them?

quote:

I'm a high school senior. I'm what you would call a mischievous student. I bought a magnet. It's a pretty big magnet. Pretty cool looking magnet. Pretty loving strong magnet. I brought said magnet to school. I showed all my friends. Wed a little "Test Your Strength" booth that the security guards took part in. Point was to take it off a locker. Fun stuff. I had the magnet in my hand. I should've had it in the cardboard protective wrap. I walked into English Class and went straight to my teacher's desk to ask a question. I forgot I was holding said magnet. Said magnet jumps out of my hand and attaches to the drawer. All metal in the drawer jumped to where the magnet was stuck. There were CDs in the drawer. The stuff that flew must've scratched and cracked some CDs. CDs were unreadable. I was laughing too hard to take it off the desk. The substitute teacher was too weak to pry it off. He called maintenance to remove the magnet. Then security to remove me. I now have a Saturday School Detention and am facing a suspension for "destruction of property." I feel bad so I'll replace the CDs.

TL;DR: Don't bring a magnet to school.

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

magnets dont gently caress up cds.

Jerry Cotton posted:

loving magnets, how do they HNNNNNNNNNGHH-----------

Stoatbringer posted:

Len posted:

Also slightly racist

subpar anachronism posted:

goose willis posted:

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

This probably appeared in a previous iteration of this thread, but it just popped up in my life again, so I am sharing with all of you (again).

Dejawesp posted:

Haifisch posted:

It took me a couple reads to figure out what was even supposed to be happening there.

In retrospect I shouldn't have read it the first time.

Haifisch posted:

Pfft, like practicality matters to people fantasizing about chasing away the scary criminal man.

Verisimilidude posted:

changing my wifi to ALL CUPS ARE BUTTHOLES post-haste

cash crab posted:

My number one writing pet peeve is people who are ostensibly allergic to the word "said". If your ability to describe a situation is decent, then you don't need to expand on the fact that your character "snarled" something. If you try and act a scene (and this is a scene as much as it is a fantasy validating her non-fatness) out loud by actually doing the actions your characters are using, guess what? Every single person looks loving bonkers.

I will also never recover from "guzzled".

verbal enema posted:

Where is the title of the thread's story at

Nth Doctor posted:

I have a colleague who was forcibly corrected to write with his right hand back in grade school in the 70’s, and as a result, holds his pen in an unusual grip. What's weirder, though, is he uses his left hand on his computer mouse!

I'm a lefty but this throws me for a complete loop every time. His mouse buttons are also swapped.

BioEnchanted posted:

On the homegrown STDH I liked that one guy who claimed that his job had had no actual things to do for years due to other jobs absorbing them (or he was absorbing unused titles, something like that) so he's just sit around at work with nothing to do.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

That elevator one is just so stupid. In reality I guarantee he just sheepishly said "ok..." and sulked down the stairs while imagining how badass it would be if he got his incredibly petty revenge.

Trash Boat posted:

https://twitter.com/zak_vargas/status/1000070356869120001?s=19

sinburger posted:

Dildo MacGyver

Jerry Cotton posted:

Shakespeare's texts aren't in English though, for any reasonable definition of English. A native speaker of English can't reliably read Shakespeare without help, for any reasonable definition of read.

uvar posted:

Ah, so that's why I've been getting a bunch of dumb Starbucks name joke tweets lately. Always strange when you miss out on the reference, but glad I didn't bother going looking for it.

bike tory posted:

Has there ever been a "my kid said X" tweet that really happened?

bike tory posted:

I buy the breastfeeding bit tbh, especially if it's a really young baby you don't just pop them off and put them down.

Captain Monkey posted:

CordlessPen posted:

Also, and I know this is a minor point, but I find it hard to believe that someone who signs letters in a somewhat official capacity would do it by hand with a blue ballpoint pen.

Aleph Null posted:

I'd fill the gently caress out of that form, though.

oldpainless posted:

Giving someone an antique cello for doing some juggling seems like a bad trade on their part.

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

Once when I was 6, me and my brother snuck into an empty building through a basement window. We were going to play doctor. He showed me his, but when it got to be my turn I chickened and ran.

Another memory I have is a spider outside my window. Orange body, green legs. I watched her build a web all summer, then one day there's a big egg in it. The egg hatched, and a hundred baby spiders came out, and ate her.

Memories are weird