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blarzgh posted:I have actually prosecuted this same scam as misdemeanor theft! One of the other ones is that people will grab a bunch of KoolAid packets (~10 cents ea.) and hold them over the bar code of the more expensive item they're scanning, and then bag it all up and try to walk out. I saw a Canadian dude get hassled big time by customs and border patrol because he had a sticker-switching crime on his record. It was actually really hosed up as the border agent was incredibly pissy about the fact that he had a hard time remembering the various particulars of the case ("were you convicted? did you plead guilty? did you have a lawyer? was there a trial???")... because it had happened over twenty years ago when he was a teenager, and surprise, when you're a minor your parents handle a bunch of legal poo poo like that! They eventually let him through, deeming him a sufficiently low threat to the property rights of our virginal K-Marts and Dollar Trees. gently caress border patrol agents.
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Aug 16, 2017 00:29
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:"Your honor, you are not taking this case with the gravity it deserves. I'll get no justice here. I demand trial by combat. Fox only final destination no items." Kurieg posted:"As you can see, the Smash Ball was enabled, which means that this is an Admiralty Tournament." i'm dying
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Aug 16, 2017 17:36
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:Yeah he got a rough hand and he's not gonna get much sympathy over it from internet dillweeds but what ya gonna do, there's no kind of sex involving a dick and vagina that carries a 0% risk of pregnancy and dudes can't unilaterally abort, cut your nuts off and join a monastery zero sympathy for a dude in his thirties who's certain he doesn't want kids and doesn't get a vasectomy
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Aug 31, 2017 00:50
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serious times, if I was in a long-term relationship and we decided we're not having kids at all, I'd call the doctor's office right there and then to make an appointment to get the snip.
Farmer Crack-Ass fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 00:52
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Pick posted:yeah this was a sexual ashcroft, an unknown unknown you're thinking of rumsfeld
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Aug 31, 2017 06:50
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Outrail posted:"Hey BM, have you heard of Herbalife? It's really changed my life and I want it to change yours... I really hope you'll be supportive of my small business." Super bad call, she's as likely as not to excitedly agree and hope they can support each other's MLM schemes. You cannot expect someone stuck in MLM to detect irony, they are already rear end-deep in cognitive dissonance. I know someone who used to try to sell magic wine.
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Sep 6, 2017 18:37
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It was "Mona Vie" and it was just your usual superfood bullshit - they claim the acai berries they allegedly make the wine out of will make everything better.
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Sep 6, 2017 19:00
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Haifisch posted:Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 8 months: He keeps calling me a liberal when I'm an anarchist lol which LF offshoot did they meet on
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Sep 13, 2017 00:52
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HerStuddMuffin posted:No, I imagine elementary schools have locking doors. I worked in an American school district up through 2011 and none of the buildings had doors that were locked to prevent exiting the building. I would be pretty surprised if that sort of thing would even be allowed, I think building codes would tend to prohibit that as a potential safety risk in the event of a fire or other need to evacuate the building.
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Sep 21, 2017 23:09
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Palpek posted:People who like clean appartments should just break up with messy people and vice versa, it's one of the biggest relationship incompatibilities aside fom different sex drives. It leads to extreme frustration and misery so if you try working it out but fail then it's time to say goodbye. Alternately just don't move in with each other. My mom and step-dad have been living across the street from each other for like 12 years so far and it's worked great for them.
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Oct 5, 2017 00:26
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cumshitter posted:Like if they're checking your references you either hosed the interview or you're already hired and they're looking for reasons to fire you. If you hosed the interview they wouldn't bother calling your references. My current boss called all three of my references and then hired me.
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Oct 17, 2017 18:29
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sierramike76 posted:We have an update to the woman who spent all her time in the water. dang this mystery got solved so quick the drat scooby crew is still lighting up in the driveway
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Oct 18, 2017 21:25
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maskenfreiheit posted:I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow: I don't get why this is such a difficult problem, just buy a whole goddamn case of Red Bull and stick several cans in the fridge.
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Nov 8, 2017 06:09
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Palpek posted:My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets again, why not just get a shitload of extra blankets? Let's see how far this can go.
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Nov 8, 2017 16:11
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fruit on the bottom posted:my (17m) friend (17m) of 10 years stole over $1700 from our schools band fund raiser. My parents saw a text of me talking about it with him and demand I tell the school. I'm scared he will beat the crap out of me. lol what a dumbass kid, if even real
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Nov 9, 2017 00:31
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almightyerin posted:Me [31F] with my husband [35M] of 4 years, I'm tired of babysitting him when he gets drunk I noticed nowhere in that post did she say the problem got worse over time. I have to wonder if he was like that before they got married as well. There really ought to be some kind of public awareness campaign that tells everyone that marrying someone or having kids with someone will not improve them; if they were a drunken lout or a slovenly game-addict or an abusive rear end in a top hat before, they will be after.
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Nov 14, 2017 22:47
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maskenfreiheit posted:yeah, sounds like she might be the one at fault. she agreed to marry him in sickness and in health. alcoholism is a disease. should have read the contract more carefully sweetie! i'm not saying she doesn't deserve sympathy, it's just tragic that people get locked into "well all i need to do is get engaged/married/pregnant and my spouse will get their poo poo together"
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Nov 14, 2017 23:49
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Blade Runner posted:If your wife tells you she wants to gently caress other people you should get a divorce Okay but if you know you're gonna split eventually anyway, and if relationships that involve threesomes always fall apart, and if you're interested in trying a threesome sometime in your life, why not try to stop at threesome town on your way to divorce depot? Farmer Crack-Ass fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Nov 15, 2017 |
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Nov 15, 2017 20:16
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chumbler posted:I don't understand how anyone can hate beans. One of my friends became allergic to beans a couple of years ago. It's sad because he really likes beans.
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Nov 18, 2017 00:00
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Frivolously deliberately using food for non-consumption is right up there with such shameful excesses as buying party favors or burning fuel to have pizza delivered.
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Nov 22, 2017 16:10
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Man the holidays really bring out the hosed up stories, this is great lol whatever dude there's plenty of city people that act at least that trashy if not moreso
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Nov 22, 2017 22:16
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come on man you know what i mean
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Nov 22, 2017 22:53
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yeah i'm pretty sure he's basically just bullying his daughter
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Dec 6, 2017 08:30
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fruit on the bottom posted:Luckiest man in the world fucks own NOT-dignity. Wait hold on: quote:Anyway I inquired further and long story short the girl at HR gave me some talk about how they can't insure us (contract/temp) workers at this place because we're not on their payroll and we're part of an agency, so we can't go or whatever. I don't get this, how can he not be allowed at staff meetings? Does he work from home or something? This makes it sound like he's effectively banned from the premises.
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Dec 7, 2017 21:10
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fruit on the bottom posted:Ah right, I couldn’t remember if they really reduced it that far or if that was just the AnCaps. They kind of blend together for me sometimes. It's not just you or anything subjective on your part. I used to work with a guy who straight up told me he identified as an anarcho-capitalist but typically labeled himself as a libertarian to most people. I'm sure there's plenty of others like him too. "Drunk driving shouldn't be against the law" was a great conversation, although not quite as mind-bogglingly non sequitur as him turning around one day and just out-of-nowhere saying "you know, I don't feel sorry at all for the family of that manager that got killed when someone rammed a plane into that IRS office." Said that IRS workers were evil agents of oppression that deserved to die. I'm not sure if there was a Nazi concentration camp analogy in the mix there, it's been a few years now. Also based on my interactions with him, I feel like another instant litmus test for "is this person a libertarian/ancap?" is to ask them how they feel about Abraham Lincoln. My former co-worker absolutely loathed Lincoln, thought he was a heinous tyrant and the absolute worst president of all time. Honestly he was great fun to talk to at work, especially when it wasn't about politics.
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Dec 12, 2017 01:12
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Vargatron posted:If you're proposing an open relationship you're basically throwing things at a wall and hoping something sticks. It's unfortunate that "let's have a kid" often comes before that as one of those "ehhh we don't know what else to do with our relationship, maybe this will make it better?" 'ideas'.
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Dec 12, 2017 17:40
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Baronjutter posted:Nah I've seen more mild version of this my self. Get a bunch of baby boomers who all "used to be in a band" at an event together and suddenly the guitars come out and everyone's trying to play a different song or "jam" together but no one knows the cords or the lyrics so it's hum-singing over each other. Specially if they get some drinks in them. My own dad has a tendency to turn a really lovely chill family/neighbourhood get together where everyone's sitting around a fire having interesting conversations and then out of nowhere there's a guitar and drunk hum-singing that stops all the conversations dead. That's usually when I go home and other people clear out or find a new place to gather, but he just can't not play guitar for a crowd. I imagine getting a few people like my poor dad together in one place and it being absolute musical chaos. have you ever tried hiding the guitar from him?
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Dec 12, 2017 23:23
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Ham Sandwiches posted:My (32 M) wife (30 F) can't comfortably have sex as it triggers her serious anxiety. We consented to the option of a mistress/fwb (she was ok with this and she suggested it initially). My conscience tortured me and I stopped, apologized, and we're renewing our vows. Did I screw up our marriage? I want to know if anyone in that thread suggested chemical castration.
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Dec 16, 2017 21:11
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Andy Dufresne posted:I [22F] I betrayed my friend [23M] by sleeping with someone else... drat, that hurts. I remember being that age and having completely stupid feelings. I think she's lookin' at a six hundo.
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Dec 20, 2017 00:30
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Three Olives posted:It's actually surprisingly easy to be denied entry to Canada even if you are an American. Several years ago I was pulled at immigration, they wanted to see my bank account, verify my employment, see my return ticket and verified my reservation at a resort. the real answer is that border guards are the absolute worst kind of cops. there is zero chance that any of them ever had any illusions about joining to "serve the community" or whatever. they signed up knowing that their job is 100% to hassle people all day every day.
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Dec 20, 2017 18:41
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that said i've never been hassled by canadian customs, and they've always seemed professionally courteous to me. it's those pigfucker americans that are always lovely.
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Dec 20, 2017 18:45
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maskenfreiheit posted:I had to go there a few times for work and they were always super courteous. A little more thorough than when you say you’re going for tourism but polite. i'm not surprised, i think anyone deviating from the norm sets them off. i think they're trained to latch onto it as "you might have a fuckin' crimelord here!!!!!!" and/or they're desperate for the slightest excuse to exercise their authority Baronjutter posted:As someone who got married mostly for visa reasons I can say that both US and Canadian border folks can both be the most petty authoritarian scumbags who get off ruining peoples trips and even lives if possible. I've crossed a lot of borders but none are ever as unpleasant as US/Canada. I've gone into countries in the middle of a literal war and had more chill, polite, and reasonable border security folk than the US/Canada border. yeah i've heard this too, i know canadians can be assholes as well. i've just been lucky enough to mostly run into relatively chill canadian border people that appear to be capable of professional courtesy. Haifisch posted:Speaking of guys melting down when their dong isn't enough to get a woman off: she should dump that shitlord immediately
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Dec 20, 2017 19:11
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Doggles posted:Me [28 M] with my best friend [29 M], he's upset he's not a groomsman at my wedding pro response would have been "okay well honey i'm vetoing your maid of honor because her boobs aren't big enough, how the hell am i supposed to j/o to our wedding pics with her right next to you"
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Dec 20, 2017 22:55
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Admiral Ray posted:Hahahahaha this marriage is gonna break so hard, this mother fucker isn't even invested one bit into his own wedding. lol yeah he was also all "brah don't worry, this is just some bullshit little ceremony, no big deal"
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Dec 20, 2017 23:25
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i've officiated seven weddings and at every one of them if the groom didn't straight-up start crying at the altar, he had to try really hard not to. that guy's gonna be drunk before he walks up the aisle (current scorecard: 5 still normal, 1 went poly, 1 divorced)
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Dec 20, 2017 23:30
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:Sometimes I really hate when posts like this have no updates because Jesus Christ. "Then he went into a pretty standard rant: that he makes $200 and hour, and this man was wasting his time. He owed him xxx amount of money for this delay."   people who talk about how they make $$$/hr and therefore that's what all their time is worth strike me as incredibly up their own rear end. this is just their lovely way of trying to tell everyone your time is more precious than theirs. if your attitude towards others is "my time is worth so much money" then gently caress you, go back to work, nobody wants your lovely rear end around anyway
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Dec 21, 2017 00:03
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Pick posted:Yeah plusblaming her for having sex with a guy who had cancer because it could make her babies defective forever (!?!???) can you imagine the rage if she told him she'd also had sex with a non-white man in the past
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Dec 21, 2017 00:07
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Blue Raider posted:the dude didnt actually think the dead mans nut could cause retardation a decade later, he was jut being mean there's a shitload of people who think vaccines cause autism, i have zero problem accepting that some jackass literally believes that chemotherapy can make your semen toxic and damaging to a woman's reproductive parts
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Dec 21, 2017 00:24
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Pick posted:iirc nightcrawler was one of them but i canna remember who the other one was i could be wrong but i remember you telling me it was wolverine
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Dec 21, 2017 03:38
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maskenfreiheit posted:I (29/M) have lost all sexual attraction to my GF(23/f) (self.relationship_advice) he probably gets PTO at his workplace so he should just secretly schedule a day off, get his (important) possessions while she's at work, and leave the apartment altogether. he can stash his stuff in a storage unit or something and crash on a friend's couch until he gets another place. call her and say she's got til the end of the lease to find a new roommate.
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Dec 22, 2017 01:09
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