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Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer
https://www.texasmonthly.com/food/heb-prepared-coronavirus-pandemic/

As much as Texas huffs its own "no beans in chili" yeehaw cowboy farts, the nationalism is more a positive one, and results in having considerable pride in a store that has better planning and resource management than many companies and now governments(U.S. included)

:lol: :texas::clint:

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Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Epic High Five posted:

https://twitter.com/RespectableLaw/status/1245133384172687365


no bean chili is a bourgeois extravagance

while it is valid chili, it is valid in the same sense that pheasant nuggets dipped in caviar is a valid form of poultry nuggets

verdict: gulag

Say this loud enough, and a cowboy on a horse will arrive on your doorstep and have an old-fashioned tussle, someone will be thrown through a pair of old saloon doors, and then a shootout involving six shooters and either Mexicans or Indians will occur

Trust me on this, my uncle is a rancher for HEB it's true

SKULL.GIF posted:

gently caress, I knew I was missing something. I don't actually know of any, all the focus right now has been on Congress passing multi-trillion-dollar stimulus bills and disaster funding.

Bernie campaign has some solid suggestions, I hear they suspended their campaign to help out with those


Doc Fission posted:

this thread is my fave place to ride into hell with the homies

:same: but include the new animal crossing game

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Grimdude posted:

My work is definitely pulling some bullshit. I posted about it in the capitalism.png thread a couple weeks ago because I was debating taking a week off. Well I did, but then I came back this week and holy poo poo I didn't think I could lose more respect for my company.

So now I'm considering taking NEXT week off as well. I know it's going to be miserable, and frankly our governor gave us the shut down order two weeks ago so it's literally just the right thing to do.

I'm also looking for a new job.

If there's like, 5 people working the cafe, just, uh, form a 5-person union, and shut that fucker down until they can roll out health accommodations.
They won't, and will probably fire you and everyone else, but then they'll have to try to hire someone to fill in, and the poor poor CEO has to find his own food, abloo hoo :qq:

Bonus if you can arrange it: if they fire you for union activities, it's technically either retaliation or civil rights violation of free association, so they can pay your unemployment(means tested, lol) in the meantime. But you'll have to fight for that, it might not be worth the effort

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer
Guys I really miss fresh baked doughnuts

Like, yeah, I could make them myself, but I'm going to be honest, sometimes it's best to just leave things to professionals. Plus, going out to get the ingredients is a hazard.

On the other hand, I'm over here, :jerky:

But beef jerky and doughnuts are not the same.



Also, Elon Musk is the kind of motherfucker that would vomit on his server, still get perfect service, then get indignant about being called out well after the fact for not leaving a tip.

So he'd go back just leave an rear end penny. Just a single one. For the principle of the matter.

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

SKULL.GIF posted:

60k new cases today worldwide already and we're halfway through the day

To contextualize that, China (Remember them? Locked down half the country? Wuhan on quarantined lockdown for months?) has 81k cases total.

That were reported and counted. even conceding a lack of malfeasance, there's a lot of bodies in one place to count accurately, and it works wonders as a sleight of hand for a random severe-among-milds clusters near and elsewhere slipping under the radar

TODD BONZALEZ posted:

Meeting (online) with my cryptid club. one guy thinks he's spotted bigfoot, we all nod approvingly, ask him to keep us posted. another reported a Joe Biden sighting, we all laughed at him because Joe Biden doesn't loving exist idiot

Or maybe it was an actor in a Biden costume, with a well-rehearsed gait and trained child-sniffing embrace


NofrikinfuN posted:

not understanding the sudden wave of layoffs in things like online publications

they can't possibly have enough overhead to justify this, just post lower numbers for a couple months

Exaggerated contracting to preserve The NUMBER

Well, what's left of it, anyway

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Tag yourself I'm the narrow band in the mid-central U.S. where nobody loving lives

The Saucer Hovers posted:

can you feel that roni ache your balls?

Actually the CDC says if you lose your arousal, you're probably afflicted with covid

in other words

quote:

Lost the horny?
Caught the roni!


Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

the assertion that they become ineffective for viruses after 30 minutes of use.

Nobody said this.

Because ineffective doesn't mean less effective, and optimal surgical mask usage in surgical theater is a different beast from

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

We're bleaching and reusing our poo poo because lardasses are masking up to go sight-see the lines at Costco.

Australia copy/pasting standard guidelines for use in the face of not having anything at all is pretty poo poo, though


Outrail posted:

According to google it takes about 25 minutes to fill a scuba tank that will let you breath about an hour.

What's the effect of high pressure on virus particles? Coz if it kills them I think we're onto something really dumb and/or clever but still really dumb.

Hospital staff could probably skip wearing fins tho.

Compressed tanks are heavy as gently caress, and still have weight even when underwater and full of buoyant air, because it's compressed so much. They're... not ideal

Hell, SCBA gear is usually small and portable, but has something like a 15 minute function, designed to get the hell out of danger and little else

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Zas posted:

where is the evidence? i dont see it

Flagging wildcat strikes as "Militant communist socialist anti-Americanism! :bahgawd: " in order to shift the overton window before dialogue even begins

Farm Frenzy posted:

virus gonzales is an amazing name


Zotix posted:

So masks aren't needed, wash your hands citizenry turned into how to videos from the US surgeon general on how to make your own mask at home.

The home made masks are to prevent particulate contamination, and anything that covers the face can do this.

This has the added benefit of leaving the medical grade equipment for actual medical staff, who not only know how to best use them, but rely on the superior effectiveness daily to avoid provider contamination of patients andkeep them from getting sick so they can keep doing what they're doing

Frog Act posted:

lesbian teleconference wedding

Probably too long, but an excellent username IMO


Quetzadilla posted:

Yeah Karen is dead, but everyone who listened to her and other denialisnts are not. Her death is an opportunity to educate, organize, and radicalize. I'm not asking anyone to cry for Karen I'm saying that circle-jerking about her death is counterproductive to the goal of organizing for a better future.

If you're just too precious to dirty your hands by talking to a chud I can't make you, but don't pretend that it's because you're just so committed to the principles of socialism and that it somehow makes you a good leftist. This is a weakness, not a strength, and you should be ashamed of it not proud of it. If you want to piss in your own mouth about it fine, but the backsplash is gonna get on your comrades out there actually doing the work and make that work harder so don't pretend otherwise.

Idk what this refers to but Davis in the specific is also not important to the point I'm making which is sub-101 level babyshit of BUILDING SOLIDARITY. Any leftist worth their salt should understand solidarity and how to build it, and yet somehow my posts on the topic are controversial. Anyone who thinks that building solidarity is pointless is a narcissistic nihilist, not a socialist, and you should stop lying to yourselves.

Daryl Davis also mentioned that there's little point to trying to convince a room to change, you convince them one at a time. The whole room is going to win the argument, even if you and your tête-à-tête target are holding differing views. Why, someone might even be convinced to say something in public, but hold a separate, private opinion that differs!

But these are the people that are now saying the quiet parts out loud. They're the people who no longer have to coax support to get into a position of power, and instead just have to keep others from revoking it. And they're going to be loud, offensive, and insular, while fervent branding of shades of dissent becomes black and white opposition. If you're going to take a page from someone's book, maybe read the whole drat book first.

And now for something completely different:

This scene, but replace "Libyans" with "the coronavirus"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDS81Ibazdk

Mistle has issued a correction as of 20:22 on Apr 4, 2020

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Lambert posted:

Actually, guns are bad.

You can have a little guns, as a treat

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

"When all you have is a hammer, all the problems look like unsuspecting victims' skulls nails"


Sassy fuckin spit&bite mountain camels to the rescue?

Nature really does find a way

ryanrs posted:

I've been contemplating breaking shelter-in-place to go camping. The places I go aren't real campgrounds, just 4x4 roads in the desert where I can shoot guns and build fires and stuff. On one hand, if I wear gloves when getting gas, is it really a problem? On the other hand, lookit all these dumbasses self-owning, I don't want to be like them.

This would be in BLM land in the Mojave.

By waiting until after all the roni rolls through, your next camping trip might have the exciting surprise of finding a dead body :toot:

Woofer posted:

is it stupid to go to the dentist to get a crown fixed right now?

When the "crack" in your "crack ping" is dental in nature :baduk:

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Spoondick posted:

seems like my fever broke after 3 days but i feel like i got punched in the balls so maybe the virus is just attacking my sack

CDC warns about loss of horny as a symptom

Flavius Aetass posted:

so... is excessive yawning throughout the day the same thing as shortness of breath, or is it just being tired and not getting any exercise for weeks

Maybe try opening a window and letting fresh air in, that helps

snoo posted:

I know I've been real tired and unable to sleep well but I've been getting a bit short of breath and yawning frequently when I do a lot of stuff like cleaning and moving things around :(

Nap in a sunny spot, vitamin D is a thing the body needs, and some sun exposure can help your body make some. Spending all day and night indoors is a good way to get seasonal affective disorder

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Squizzle posted:

wondering if, when the alchemist offered to teach me one or the other, i should have gone for the panacea against all ailments and distempers, instead of the dry rub spice blend

The secret correct answer was :ssh: the all-bean perfect seasoning

You, sir, have been had!

Starks posted:

but why would suppressing the numbers serve the state interest? once the horse was out of the barn door it was not in China’s interest to have the entire world shut down.

Face culture to leverage competency as leadership and value of authority.

Or crab mentality; no sense in being the only country to suffer a debilitating pandemic.

Oooooor they undercounted because it was an emergency and you can't micromanage an emergency to perfection and the only real evidence will be during cleanup/noticeable changes in correlated data with causal consequences.

redleader posted:

has this thing from the "swiss propaganda research" group come up here? it's got a bunch of things saying covid's basically a bad cold and the world is overreacting because of bad data

i'm immediately skeptical, but i'm really not trained or knowledgeable enough to evaluate it

Is that one of the "Good Swiss" or one of the "nazi Swiss"?



Looks like the "nazi Swiss"

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Woofer posted:

if we are gonna listen to anyone about where to put bodies it should be something awful poster human garbage bag

also what does temporarily mean? are they gonna dig the bodies up later?

"Ask a mortician" on youtube said something about mass burials, and for emergencies they bury people with identification, so that later exhumation can sort them out quickly

Antifa Turkeesian posted:

The conditions of the study don’t replicate real-world conditions. It was just a proof-of-concept that they could catch it. It didn’t produce the same symptoms in the cats and they weren’t as contagious to each other as humans are, although that poo poo about the tiger and lions in the Bronx Zoo catching it isn’t good.

Quarantine your cats, no harm in doing so. Indoor cats stay indoors, and don't trust outdoor cats. With fuckers willing to cough and spit in grocery stores with other people, the idea that some rear end in a top hat is going to go around purposefully infecting outdoor cats is more expected than not.

If you're wrong, your cat/cats are the ones with something to lose. Namely you.


Russia killed a spy in the UK, pretty sure they can get an eye or ear on hospital chatter about the PM


Someone called it: profit motive

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Since the graves are only temporary couldn’t you just wait until they cleared out the hole and then just sort through the unclaimed pile for your loved one in order to avoid paying an exhumation fee? If not, could they arrange maybe a Groupon where you pay a lower fee for a single large exhumation? What kind of discount if you skip the id and claim a rando?

Gonna be a real doozy to DIY your loved one's funeral when they're a sloshy bag of decomposed, bony soup-

OH JEEZ SOMEONE PUNCHED A HOLE IN THE BAG HOLY MOLEY THIS STINKS NOW GET THIS OUTTA HERE

*Puts a leaky sack of dead person at your feet*

Lpzie posted:

lol @ tying-in reporting with funding.

The irony is looking incompetent means more money, but doing a good job means less.

Also it's hosed up that this opportunity to shuttle troublesome illnesses around means paperwork and money-based triage will be to blame for someone's death at some point

ryanrs posted:

Skipping ahead 30 pages in this thread to see if boris has died yet.

Not yet--officially--but something from reputable source Kirksy(?) said he is, but they're waiting on getting some things in order before announcing it



My :lol: thought at this 3am:

Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe", but it's about the rona

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Philthy posted:

"I'm glad the border patrol are still keeping the illegals out. They keep trying to come over and spread the virus."

Mexican Border Patrol is serious about keeping the Americans out

Mayor Dave posted:

do not, my friends, become addicted to horny

Au contraire, no horny is a sign of the roni

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

shovelbum posted:

Anyone who thinks nukes aren't still the worst and final weapon of the present and foreseeable future is insane.

I dunno, a bioweapon in the image of covid19, but worse would be pretty gnarly.

Morbus posted:

It's already free and widely available for the most part. Making it compulsory might help, but you've got people skipping out on measles and polio gl enforcing a flu vaccine

Hate to tell you this, but flu vaccine in the U.S. is out of pocket, unless you qualify for a voucher/reimbursement

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Krispy Kreme is literally the only donut

Local fresh doughnuts can beat it depending on the place; but for national chain, it's a solid answer

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

charity rereg posted:

this would be unconstitutional and that is actually one of the problems, you cannot in any way restrict travel between the states like this.

You don't have to restrict travel, but you can issue a whole-state order for any incoming citizens to the state to be quarantined for 14 days, no exceptions. Stop trains and quarantine the lot of them :getin:

euphronius posted:

what maintenance are renters doing

For many, whatever is necessary to keep them from being shuttered.

Plenty of property managers out there are legit by-the-book people who do the recommended, not just the needful. Landowners are typically the shortcut-takers, as anything they don't spend is profit.

Some landowners are lazy enough to let a property manager do everything and cut them a check, and that's not entirely a bad thing.

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

:lol: just like his "occupy the park ranger station" he's going to kill his buddies again to make a political statement, and then face no consequences himself.


This, but unlike federal cops, Corona-chan doesn't hesitate to take down the demon crackers


Tag yourself in this tweet I'm the proposed nexus for fraud crimes that will never be untangled if implemented by any administration

mod sassinator posted:

can't get the roni if your lungs are full of cum

Actually you can

Why do you think it's called

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Goon Boots posted:

My new disaster movie: Coronado

Ironically, a Coronado is what ravaged the New World once already, you're thinking of a sequel

EDIT: does not equal doublepost

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

DrManiac posted:

my mom has been sending me 5G conspiracy poo poo all day lol.

Convince her that the ISPs have a 5G transfer somewhere along her internets, to "purposefully make citizens complicit if/when the Hague-ing of illuminati crimes happens"

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

jUST HOW THE gently caress ARE THERE SO MANY ARTIFACTS IT'S NOT EVEN TWO WEEKS OLD WHAT

Bulgakov posted:

im in awe of how perfectly awful every possible choice would be

:agreed:


Alternately, he was faking the whole drat thing to get away from people, and now he's aiming for post-corona sympathy softballing

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Drunkboxer posted:

i’m convinced there are seniors that are going everyday and buying toilet paper every trip

With food services hamstrung, a lot of olds are having to make their own food. And if you can't cook, but have to eat, you're going to make some lovely choices figuratively, literally, or both.


Regular pig shortage? Just break out the long pigs

snoo posted:

wondering about ppl taking estrogen HRT :thunk:

The bonus from HRT is cancelled by all the roni you get from going to pick it up, HTH

Bonus suck: your trumpbux still wouldn't have arrived

moist turtleneck posted:

Don't worry guys, anti-vaxxers will game the system and make sure covid never goes away



Begs the question: if a vaccine "does no harm", and a chud asks all these inane specific questions seeking a "get out of civilization free" card, is it ethical to lie and bullshit them into having no valid arguments against a society-saving vaccine?

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Did Bad Math Nate actually count the weekend as part of reliable statistical reporting? After drat near every graph shows a distinct lack of reporting for the weekend?

:lol::lol::lol:

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Death to seafood industry.

Death to factory farming.

Praise the bean growers. May god bless and keep them all.

:hmbol: those were the guy who got shafted way back in the precambrian era, when all the soybeans tanked and they all went under because the subsidies to keep agriculture afloat were sucked up by loan repayment and corporate interests siphoning off money

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

yeah it loving sucks all the tonic has been sold out and i use it for how god intended, with gin, not for snake oil cures

Summer's coming, make a fuckin' Gin Rickey

quote:

2oz. gin
.5oz lime juice
your preference of carbonated: seltzer water, club soda
lime slice or wheel garnish
simple syrup to taste

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

mystes posted:

Is the alternative to call them DemocratBucks and cause Trump to illegally order the Treasury not to pay them?

Communism Cash

Call it Communism Cash to see who has the temerity to tear up their check on principle

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Strong "Mystery of the Druids" energy


This is possible, if you consider perfectly executed rent and utility strikes, plus futuristic socialism-grade free food rationing distribution happens, meaning that $120 a week can go toward other things, like keeping your internet.

But :lol: it's not gonna happen

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

presented without comment:


Roni isolation has me horny, but not that horny

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

So here in NZ the messaging for social distancing and isolating was a simple, clear term that people would be able to instantly understand, which was “bubbles”

So you, during lockdown, were to try as absolutely best you could, to Stay In Your Bubble (household, flat, etc)

Someone did this cool art of a bubble mixed with a NZ native bird



That’s all the uplifting content you get today, back to lmao’ing as corpses propped up in chairs and literal plague rats running around the US President

Strong Baba Yaga energy

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Weed smoke is danger gas.

Edibles are safe breathing.

Nothus posted:

Most governors would love to tell Trump to gently caress off, but unfortunately he's in charge of the world's money printer and he knows it.

More than likely he doesn't know it, and it's pure dumb coincidence that his narcissism, with "the guy in charge" reasoning, lines up well with a complex situation

Because :hmbol: if you think he has enough brain cells to do that kind of thinking


Rectal Death Adept posted:

What this thread needs is more worthless callout posting by people who are annoyed at how other people are posting.

Oh gently caress, it's contagious. EVERYONE STEP BACK.

Vim Fuego posted:

you know you are under no obligation to read all 100,000 posts/mo in the cspam hellthreads

if its not fun, you can just stop. You'll still be adequately informed on the issues, its the only story in the news

:crnasickos:


C-SPAM corona thread document all cracks and pings per CDC guidelines

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Mayor Dave posted:

I really really want a draft beer

Your goony new business during the forevercovid:

An ice cream truck, but instead of ice cream, it's draft beers and cocktails and cheap-rear end microwave bar food. Unless you get a smoker trailer involved, then you can sell meats too

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Why bother engineering a bioweapon when nature just hands those fuckers out on a lark. Or a bat, as is likely in this case.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

These "reopen the economy" protests are going to be CHUD catnip because they're not going to be swarmed by counter-protests for a change and that's gonna tickle them right in the cockles.

https://twitter.com/BadlandsZine/status/1251286218031034368?s=19

Coronavirus will tickle them in their cockles, too :gritin:

mystes posted:

You can only invoke stand your ground if you're a white, male, conservative chud, though.

:wrong:

Anyone can invoke it. Now, having it work as an affirmative defense, that's what you're thinking of, and yes, it's usually relegated to white male conservatives, though even POC might luck out if the person they end up shooting is incredibly skeevy or a more POC than the shooter(See Zimmerman v. Martin)

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

:theroni:

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

I'd probably unironically buy that, but :airquote: ethical consumerism :airquote: says I have to wait until after the end quaran-times so that I don't buy it through the Bezos worker murder machine

Inceltown posted:

Not sure about states but I've heard you can microwave a mom.
:boom:

SardonicTyrant posted:

Flared bases, people. You don't want to go to the doctor because you had something stuck in your butt.

But what if the doctor's cute and totally into that sort of thing?

snoo posted:

I want a pseudopenis :mad:

snoo posted:

bblblbllbbluhhh I want a haircutttttt :qq:

That trumpbux check communism cash is gonna run out real quick with all these damands

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

BardoTheConsumer posted:

God drat it everything is a loving white supremacist thing l. I say dont let them control our discourse and dammit I am gonna buy insect torches and Hawaiian shirts and guns and maybe I give the damned 'ok' gesture once in a while.

Neonazis have a hard time saying what's part of their secret code if they're scared to go outside because every time they do, someone punches a nazi--them, specifically.


"Not gay for the stay"

:chanpop:

Stereotype posted:

Zero new cases on Oahu today, and only 4 across the neighbor islands. Hawaii got this thing beat (but we are hosed because no one can come here)

Imagine how clean the water's going to be without the thousands of sweaty, greasy suntan lotion-wearing tourists washing their grime in the beach water.

And you know some of them ignored the "don't wear lotion into the water" order, because they're "too american for communist rules"


Zyme posted:

seeds? whats a seeds? everybody knows the plural form of "seed" is "seed". gotta go buy seed for my lawn. sometimes i only need a seed, but sometimes i need seed. you can buy some seed or just buy seed. its a miraculous word.

Counterpoint: It's American English, so :lol: if it matters that a variety of different types of seed aren't differentiated from a single taxonomic plural

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

keep punching joe posted:

why woul dyou put your hand over your anus whilst farting, it would make your hand smell of the fart?

If you spread the butt cheeks, you don't get the customary "air bubble clapping" sound that a fart usually makes, thus making them all as silent as a massive exhaust of air can be.

Impkins Patootie posted:

idk

please do kegels

And power flexing can cause the pitch to go up.

Fart science :science:

MadJackal posted:

I made it 10 posts before I crack pinged so loving hard that I poured myself some bourbon.

Interesting fact: Mountain Dew was originally supposed to be a corn whiskey mixer :yum:

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Unlike most of the U.S., Puerto Rico is enforcing public lockdown, rationed excursions, curfews, mandatory inbound quarantine, fining beachgoers(or jail, their choice), and other strict measures. The testing may be slow, but nobody's going anywhere while it catches up.

gently caress COREY PERRY posted:

i'm gonna gently caress covid-19 imma do it

"Roni is prohibited."

*squints eyes at paper*

"Oh sorry it says 'horny', horny is prohibited. Ha, funny. But you still can't gently caress the thing, horny is prohibited."

slave to my cravings posted:

lol before covid there was a mass shooting like every two weeks days

That's more accurate, but keep in mind the criteria for "mass shooting" is "three or more victims" with no qualifications on injury/death, so it's really easy to clear that hurdle

kater posted:

personally i hope the cure is drinking

One of the complications to the covid infection is micro blood clots, so a blood thinner like alcohol may help prevent them*

*I am not a doctor, I'm just suggesting you enjoy your alcohol in moderation because you're hosed if you run out too soon and have to go and brave the plague wastes for hard drinks

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Eleven Eleven posted:

That's going to hit the South & Midwest a lot harder than anywhere else.

You say this like "not sending federal aid to states" is truth and not just Turdle man lying while he still sends federal aid to flyover and moocher states for political favor


And this, with the Smithfield location, makes about 10% of the national pork distribution

Texas usually had pork higher than beef, while a lot of non-ranching states had cheap pork with expensive beef. But now they're both going to be expensive! :hahayes:

Bean supremacy is upon us!


Oh, also, since pork is going to be expensive, McD's won't be buying pork anytime soon, so the McRib is but dust in the wind at this point

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Google Butt posted:

will 1 beer kill me

I hear tell one bottle of beer did kill Mr. Hands, so YMMV

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Spoondick posted:

i rented a suit from mens warehouse last year and im getting increasingly desperate emails trying to get me to buy stuff every week or so

The board for Men's Wearhouse ousted noted meme-man and owner/founder George Zimmer from his position as CEO of the company because they wanted to take it in a more profitable direction. Zimmer as CEO was a proponent of hiring post-release felons and had a "look nice land a job" sort of outlook, and at least some of the free perks offered to the employees evaporated after his departure because :capitalism:

His firing actually belongs in the schadenfreude thread, because the company after he left made a bad decision and value tanked.

How does this relate to the thread? Well, Mr. Zimmer believed in not killing his employees for an extra nickel of profit, for one.

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer
As many pages in a month as trumpbux communism cash the government sent me for my lonely roni event :toot:

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Protecting the olds despite their best efforts to literally and figuratively geriatric gently caress around and die of covid


This is what happens when horny is prohibited

I'm all on board, though

Thoguh posted:

Hours? Nobody in a red county is more than 20-30 minutes from one that's opening up. Counties aren't very big.

Small distances in metro areas are measured similarly to large distances in flyover country, some people forget to do the urban/rural conversion :shrug:

Raiad posted:

all the restaurants 20-30 minutes from a red county are gonna have a 3 hour long wait time

Ironically, they'd drive three hours to wait 20-30 minutes because "that's fast service"


When you're one of five servers at the only Applebee's left within a 2-hour drive, management give you one "sass the customer" allowance per shift.

But only one; wouldn't want to spoil you.

Anime Schoolgirl posted:

i can't wait for the sequel to that, "beans make frogs gay"

:mason::tinfoil: Bean farms are sewn with xenoestrogens made from those commercial orbeez as they slowly release water, meaning all those "substitute meat for beans" are actually deep state attempts to demasculinize the eschaton #bushsbeansmakementwinks :tinfoil::mason:

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

ryanrs posted:

Prepare for the meat shortage, if you have freezer space.

With Texas opening up, and the absolute glut of feral hogs, there's plenty of pork if you're not afraid of overcooking it/getting those weird parasites that live in certain game meats

SKULL.GIF posted:

hehe 🙃🙃🙃🙃

this is what millions of Americans are mainlining right now

https://twitter.com/ndrew_lawrence/status/1254926131570126848

He has to get back up to Hannity's numbers


... IN DEATHS!

fermun posted:

ehhhhh, it couldn't have been mutating too too fast, the justinian plague, which was the same yersinia pestis plague, went away completely until the black death plague and it was only that one that became endemic and re-occurring in europe. if it mutated fast enough, it should have mutated into lease deadly strains to stick around permanently the first time we know that it infected a lot of people, and it's also been theorized to have been responsible for the neolithic decline

The black plague wasn't a human contagion factor, it was more a rat/flea factor and how fast fleeing peasants could spread those vectors before things happened. Yeah, it shredded Europe, but that was a side effect. At least, that's ho I read it. :shrug:

wilderthanmild posted:

Depends how long it stays like that. If I recall, the cruise ship had a very large number of asymptomatic cases when they were testing everyone, but the asymptomatic percentage dropped over time. It was still a high percentage at the end though, like 50%ish.

I'd also be curious about age distribution there. As I've heard before that asymptomatic cases are more likely in young people, but I'm not sure to what extent that's true.

Asymptomatic doesn't mean unaffected, it means showing no obvious symptoms. Completely unaffected are carriers.

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Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

gay picnic defence posted:

Where are the new cases coming from? People arriving back in the country and getting tested? Or is there still some low levels of community spread?

Tail end of one infection's asymptomatic contagiousness hitting a fresh body, and the infection spread is what, 20-something days?

Real easy to spread if even one idiot gets out and about

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